I also remember reading the previous thread on this issue, and without going back & re-reading it, I never got the impression that the concensus was that you had to be prepared to pay for your guests. I thought there was quite a bit of discussion on both sides. I'm one of the people who feel tlhat it's perfectly acceptable to ask for the guest's parents to contribute their share of the expenses, so long as it's done properly. After all, you are not only providing the majority of the expenses, but you're also taking on the responsibility of chaperoning an underage child, which is not always easy.

As I had mentioned on the other thread on this topic, I think it's best to talk to the parents first. If the kids discuss it first, then you run the risk of the friend getting all excited about going, and then the parents are placed in an awkward position if they don't want their child to go due to economic or other reasons.

I also think that 'butwhatif' raises a good point, but don't necessarily agree with his/her conclusion. Hopefully, you know your child's friend's family at least well enough to have some idea if this would be a real financial burden to them. In that case, you can decide beforehand whether you're willing to pay for everything, or not invite that friend. But that doesn't mean should therefore always be prepared to pay in all cases.

Even if you don't know what the parents' financial situation is, I still think it's okay to ask. First of all, as already mentioned, I would be asking the parents first, so that if they can't afford it, they can say no before their child gets all excited about going. This also works well in the scenario where the parents just don't feel comfortable about their child going on vacation with another family. Secondly, you just might be surprised to find out that even if they have limited financial means, they're still happy to send their kid with money. If they can't afford to take a family vacation of their own, they might decide that being able to provide a vacation for their child for the cost of a few meals out is a good alternative. And thirdly, I strongly disagree with the statement that if the parents are responsible and can afford it, they'll send money. The parents may seem to be responsible about many things, but we've always been amazed how the ones with the most money are the ones who assume they don't have to give a dime. And the last thing you want to do is spend your vacation resenting the parents and taking it out on the kids.

i think asking the parent to provide anything other then their kids "spending" money for souveniers, extra treats like chips, etc. is putting them in a bad spot, as mentioned by "butwhatif". you have no idea what type of financial worries that family may be going through and it would embarrass them to have to say no due to funds.

Are people really embarassed to decline an invitation like that due to lack of funds? You either have money to do something or you don't. People have different income levels, financial situations, and priorities about where money should be spent. I don't see that as a big deal.