How far is Southampton from New York City, how would you get to it and would you recommend it.

Timewise it should be 2-3 hrs from NYC,traffic wise it could take you 4-5 hours.
Cross Bronx Expressway to Throgs Neck Bridge to Cross Island Pkwy to LIE to South Hampton exit,don't know the #.
I would recommend it if there is nothing better, considering it is a little too stuffy,boring for my taste,but that obviously does not apply to everyone
Young people like West Hampton, and of course there is the ever popular East Hampton adn Amagansett where a lot of city folks like to rent huge houses and share.
My place is on Shelter Island,where it is a little more quiet and probably boring to some.

The LIE runs out before Southampton, so you'd have to work your way south to Route 27 and continue east.

There's a website for just about anything and the Hamptons are no exception. Check out www.hamptons.com for info on the entire area.

Besides driving out there (would take you about 2 hours from Manhattan), you could take the Long Island Railroad from Penn Station or the bus called the Hampton Jitney (www.hamptonjitney.com), but then you'd have no transportation once you get out there.

Is there a smaller airport nearby?

Don,
Islip McArthur (ISP), Bohemia is closest for carriers, SW, AA, DL, US Air. ~1 hour or less to the Hamptons, longer Fri-Sun.

There's ~6 GA airports further east.