We actually live in Sonoma County so I feel a little sheepish asking, but here goes ...
We have friends coming to visit this spring who don't drink at all but would like to visit some wineries for the ambience, views, gardens, etc.

Unfortunately most of the great posts on Sonoma/Napa wineries that I can find here focus on irrelevant details like whether the wines are good, tastings are provided, etc. ;->

So can all you wine experts do the unthinkable and ignore the quality of the wines and tell me which wineries have the best gardens, great views, beautiful buildings, lovely scenery, or interesting experiences like caves, and so on?

Healdsburg, Dry Creek, Alexander Valley, and Sonoma Valley and town are all very close and of course Napa isn't far, so I will be grateful for your recommendations in any area. I would prefer non-tour-bus types of places.

Thanks for your help.

Benziger Family Winery in Glen Ellen is interesting in that it uses "biodynamic" growing techniques. They are located on the road to Jack London State Park; beautiful picnic grounds, great tram tour of their property with view of their little valley. Overall, one of the friendliest wineries--nice gift shop, too.

I second Benziger. I would add Cline Cellars for its garden.

I went with 2 others who don't drink wine at all. We enjoyed Sterling, tram ride, views and there is a self guided tour, so you can go at your own pace, see what you want etc. They have a couple of places where you can get a glass of wine along the tour, but it was very relaxed. They have a place for wine tasting, but we didn't even venture in there. My DH thought he would feel funny being in a winery and not drinking wine, but was pleasantly surprised. There were plenty of others who weren't either. The other one we went to was Buena Vista. Again, you can just walk around the grounds and through another self guided tour at your own pace. Those two were about enough for them.

Forgot to add that if you go to Benziger, (and you taste) they will comp you for tastings at their sister winery, Imagery. Imagery had a fantastic art gallery.

My favorites, for beautiful views, buildings and gardens would be Coppola (previously Chateau Souveraign) where you can have a nice lunch at their Cafe and Ferrari Carano, in Dry Creek with it's gorgeous gardens and building plus wonderful views of the valley. Then I would head out along the Russian River to Korbel, where there's an informative and informal tour (and tasting), continuing on to Armstrong Redwood for a stroll through the redwood forest. You could continue out to the coast and drive south through Bodega Bay, returning through Sebastapol. It would be a long day but would cover great scenery and lots of diversity.

Hey Grassshopper, welcome back.

Yes, Ferrari Carano should definitely be on your list.

Thank you all - I appreciate your suggestions and will investigate them all.

I think for the rustic ambience and agricultural feel, I would just drive out Dry Creek Road and stop at some of the smaller places. It is wonderful to sit at a small table in the middle of a vineyard!

The drive to Ferrari Carano is a longish one, but please make it... and thank me later Paula, a Fodorite poster, took me there, they have beautiful garden. I don't think there is a picnic area... but the garden is very worth visiting!

and we used directions from this website

http://www.inetours.com/PagesWT/Wine_Tours.html

you can print out a route with the description of all wineries on the way - which have gardens, which have picnic areas, etc...

The wine caves at Bella (Dry Creek) are spectacular...great tasting experience. Lambert Bridge in the same area also had a gorgeous tasting room and a great view from the front grounds. The Ledson "castle" is also spectacular - from a building perspective.

Of these 3, I thought Bella had the best wine...loved it. But the other 2 had great ambience and/or views.

Ledson, is a castle, so it is beautiful and unique. I too, would suggest Sterling for the gondola ride. Gundlach Bundschu has some type of cave that you can walk through on a tour, Artesa, in between Sonoma and Napa, is built into a mountain and has a very art deco look, it is very unique. And then it is a little further away in Calistoga, but Chateau Montelena (one of the wineries that put Napa on the map with their Chardonnay) has a beautiful pond, etc with a bridge that you can walk over it on, etc.

Look no further:

http://www.domainecarneros.com/

ambience .. views .. beautiful chateau ...

Which are best for kids?

The Caranos are old friends of ours - you must see their gardens: http://www.ferrari-carano.com/

i agree with Dom. Carneros. Everything about the grand chateau, the view and the grounds are terrific ... a good place to take visitors, as long as you ignore the mediocre wines.

Artesa Winery, which is nearby, has that well thought out, modern winery look with one of the best sweeping views of both Sonoma and Napa. My visitors like this unique winery for it's architecture and views.. Again, this is not a wine recommendation on my part.

very bad starrsville...;-)
Love the whole Sonoma experience...J is really unique. They do food/wine pairings. The tasting room is very modern and different. Hop Kiln is very cool, noy great wine. Foppiano has a uniques tasting room...they have lots of train stuff, offices in an old caboose. Hess is technically in Napa but is between the two and has an incredible 3 story art collection. This ain't Monet...absolutely stunning. Grounds are beautiful, wine is very good.

very, very bad Starrsville would ask "Which wine goes best with foie gras?" ;-)

Looking forward to trying some of these in October. Caneros is definitely on the "to do" list. I only had a short day in Sonoma last time.

Our kids love foie gras and would know which wine goes with it because their parents order the proper drink each time.