IMDonehere

I have not posted this in years, but I am doing so now, because I want to give someone the opportunity to write that they like the streets of Zagreb better or that they once tripped on a crack in the street and will never return to NYC or they did not know there were rules.

For NY’ers and Tourists

• WALK TO THE RIGHT, even if you are English, from OZ, or a leftist.
• Do not stop short.
• Do not do pirouettes in the middle of the street when lost.
• Do not walk five across the street as if you are playing Ringo Leevio or Red Rover, Red Rover let Fred Come Over.
• Drink your coffee at the coffee shop. The street is not a cocktail party or your cubicle, so do not hold your drink in front of you.

Here is a real get real phone plan
SHUT UP!!! Now we know publicly how petty and inane you are privately.
• Take one ear bud and stick up your behind, so you will have stereo
• If you must take a call from The President or have a shuffle music emergency, why don’t you stand in the middle of the sidewalk to block traffic.
• Do not pace the sidewalk, you are not home in your jammies and slippers.
• Watch where you are going. You are on the phone, not us.

Just NY’ers
• Do not run, jog, or elbow your down the street between the walkers
• Do not ride your bike down the sidewalk. I know bikers think they are elevated live forms but pedestrians may disagree. And now it is illegal for anyone over the age of 12 to do so to ride on the sidewalk.
• Half the bikers do not know the rules, the other half ignore them. Let’s try and change that percentage.
• Sunday fathers-do not use your child’s stroller as a battering ram. If you are mad that you are divorced or stuck with the kids, take it on yourself not us.
• Dog walkers-try not to have the entire 20 foot lead extend across the sidewalk. Someone is going to step on your Chihuahua.

Tourists
• Look at the map either at the curb or next to a building not on a corner, the middle of the sidewalk, by garbage cans already blocking the street, or on the subway steps.
• If you must window shop do it by the windows and not from the middle of the sidewalk with binoculars.
• Jay-walking is a NYC sport. If you are going to wait for a light, get out of the way of those who want to break the law.
• If you are going to look up assign a designated seeing-eye tourist so others can pass.

xcountry

This is very helpful. I've always wondered if it is easier to walk from upper to lower Manhatten (downhill?). Or perhaps my English is missing les nuances of upper/lower?

NewbE

These are the really sad complaints of a man whom time has passed by. The anger here is palpable.

Don't drink coffee on the sidewalk? Don't talk on your phone? Don't jog? The natives of the city are in violation of these "rules" every day.

Sad.

IMDonehere

Newbe-You have added nothing to these boards for years, but your small thoughts.

Like in real life, the people who do nothing criticize those who do.

IMDonehere

This is very helpful. I've always wondered if it is easier to walk from upper to lower Manhatten (downhill?). Or perhaps my English is missing les nuances of upper/lower?
______________________

Below 23rd Street, the island is basically flat. Above there are all sorts of hills and unexpected inclines but also many level streets as well. Thus I am not sure there is a consistent up or down hill route.

That is an interesting question that, I think, has never been posed before

marvelousmouse

Xcountry- it depends on many factors including temperature, wind speed, and dangerous squirrels, but most importantly whether you are headed to or from the bars.

I'm pretty sure that chihuahua is just waiting to take you out, imdonehere. The rhinestone collar, pink fleece jacket and retractable leash is just camouflage to lure you into coming close enough so it can rip your legs off and steal your lunch.

IMDonehere

From what I understand, chihuahuas are built to get under other dogs and do extensive damage. I think I am properly frightened of the dog and the owner.

xcountry

"Below 23rd Street, the island is basically flat."

That may explain the Flatiron district. And the Knicks going downhill.

sludick

Some of these sound like DH's rant about people in the aisles of BJ's/Costco. Love it, thanks.

IMDonehere

And that is one explanation for why it is called the Flatiron District. And across the street from the Flatiron Building is where the first two Madison Square Gardens were located. See it all ties in.

NewbE

And a rant is exactly what it is. If it weren't so vulgar, you could almost read nostalgia into it.

Can you guys who are "enjoying" it imagine a clueless tourist actually taking it seriously and behaving accordingly?

NewbE

<Do not walk five across the street as if you are playing Ringo Leevio or Red Rover, Red Rover let Fred Come Over.>

No one under the age of 70 has played these. I only know them from books.

<Drink your coffee at the coffee shop. The street is not a cocktail party or your cubicle, so do not hold your drink in front of you.>
Utterly, ridiculously outdated.

<Take one ear bud and stick up your behind, so you will have stereo>
Angry, ugly and inappropriate. Too stupid to be funny.

The stuff about Sunday fathers, dog walkers, window shoppers and tourists is too tiresome to bother rebutting.

This guy is the kind of New Yorker who gives New Yorkers a bad name.

Hobbert

NewbE, you've never played Red Rover?? I'm in my 30's and it was a staple of childhood! Nothing beats hurling yourself violently into a line of your little friends

IMDonehere

Hobbert-you need friends to play to red Rover.

IMDonehere

Newbe-the next time you think criticism is in order, please do it yourself, instead of turning that duty over to a 7 year old.

Just some friendly advice.

gardendiva

I am not a NYer but I do live and work in small towns with walkable downtown areas. All of these rules apply to the sidewalk and the aisle of any supermarket. The list may seem offensive to some but they are all common sense. However, we all know that not everyone has common sense.

I have come to learn that unless you have been hit by a bike on the sidewalk or had your bag ripped off your arm by a passing bike, you might not understand why bikes do not belong on the sidewalk in congested areas. This is an ongoing battle in the town that I work in. City government does not want to post ordinance signs because "we don't want to discourage bike riding."

xcountry

I am hoping IMDonehere can explain what "Do not stop short" means. Do not stop short what?

Inakauaidavidababy

I played Red Rover until the penguins shut it down when a kid broke their wrist in the late 70's.

xcountry - stop dead in your tracks. a sudden stop, unexpected end of flow.

IMDonehere

I am hoping IMDonehere can explain what "Do not stop short" means. Do not stop short what?
______________________
Stop short means stop suddenly. I did not realize it was a regionalism.

smetz1

Stop short? That's my move!