Relocating to the Deep South
Nov 19th, 2015, 11:44 AM
#61
For those interested in American regionalism, I highly recommend this:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/amer...=9780143122029
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/amer...=9780143122029
Nov 20th, 2015, 10:52 AM
#62
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My family is ostensibly Catholic, and like many Catholic families, we have a varying degree of adherence to religion throughout the extended family. One of my cousins moved to the south (FL panhandle) and got really involved in the Church. I asked her about it one time - she was never very religious before, so this was a change for her. She said that in her area, you pretty much have to have to belong to a church - and being Catholic in the south is super easy - no one ever tries to convert you to something else, people rarely try to debate religion with you, and all things considered, it's one of the least arduous religions to follow. There is a bit of "otherness" associated with being a Catholic, but she hasn't run into any issues with people over it. The other religion that she considered was Lutheran, since they are pretty easy going too, but the Catholic church is just down the street, so they can walk 
Nov 20th, 2015, 01:18 PM
#65
I'm not sure it's that much of a "big deal" but it is very common. It's a good way to meet people and a good way to connect to the community. I think it's very common in other cultures and countries but definitely think it's more common in the south and maybe the Midwest nowadays in the US. Whether or not people really care? I don't think so. You're often asked, usually as an opening to invite you to their church. Based on comments I've read here, I've learned that seems strange to others.
This summer we visited the tiny Episcopal church in Moose, WY in Grand Teton National Park. (Just outside NP property but definitely a community church for the settlers there). The church was full and there is new overflow seating on a side porch with open windows. The guest minister was UMC. We happened to sit next to the minister and his wife who had served there for 18 years. There were two other ministers/priests there. The place was packed. During the introductions - people stood up and shared where they were from - virtually everyone there was from the South. There were three couples from outside of the south - CT, Utah and I don't remember the other state.
As we left (we = a Fodorite who lives in MD and me) we talked about the attendance. Obviously, no one from home churches would have any idea if "we" attended church that Sunday. So many comments on this board seem to imply that folks attend church because they "have to" or are "expected to" and if they don't they are not looked on kindly by others in the community. That implication really bothers me. I can't speak for others, but I attend church at home because I want to and I attend church on vacation because I want to. It's part of my weekly routine and one of my favorite parts of the week. It has as much to do with "community" as anything else and not just the community I live in. On a Sunday in September there were dozens of other people who were enjoying vacations in one of the prettiest spots in this country but ALSO enjoying being among a community meeting there at that moment in time. I love that.
It doesn't bother me if others do the same or not. It's none of my business. Being invited to join someone at church is a good thing, not an intrusion in your privacy.
Anyway, if you aren't very religious - more "spiritual than religious" - Unity may be another choice also. I've attended huge Unity churches and the mix ranges from Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, Buddhist and atheist/agnostic. "Seekers" of all faith traditions - or none.
This summer we visited the tiny Episcopal church in Moose, WY in Grand Teton National Park. (Just outside NP property but definitely a community church for the settlers there). The church was full and there is new overflow seating on a side porch with open windows. The guest minister was UMC. We happened to sit next to the minister and his wife who had served there for 18 years. There were two other ministers/priests there. The place was packed. During the introductions - people stood up and shared where they were from - virtually everyone there was from the South. There were three couples from outside of the south - CT, Utah and I don't remember the other state.
As we left (we = a Fodorite who lives in MD and me) we talked about the attendance. Obviously, no one from home churches would have any idea if "we" attended church that Sunday. So many comments on this board seem to imply that folks attend church because they "have to" or are "expected to" and if they don't they are not looked on kindly by others in the community. That implication really bothers me. I can't speak for others, but I attend church at home because I want to and I attend church on vacation because I want to. It's part of my weekly routine and one of my favorite parts of the week. It has as much to do with "community" as anything else and not just the community I live in. On a Sunday in September there were dozens of other people who were enjoying vacations in one of the prettiest spots in this country but ALSO enjoying being among a community meeting there at that moment in time. I love that.
It doesn't bother me if others do the same or not. It's none of my business. Being invited to join someone at church is a good thing, not an intrusion in your privacy.
Anyway, if you aren't very religious - more "spiritual than religious" - Unity may be another choice also. I've attended huge Unity churches and the mix ranges from Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, Buddhist and atheist/agnostic. "Seekers" of all faith traditions - or none.
Nov 20th, 2015, 01:43 PM
#66
That was a long post. A shorter version =
Many attend church because they enjoy it and it's a positive part of their life. If they invite you to join them, it's not intruding into your life. It's an invitation. No offense is intended.
Many attend church because they enjoy it and it's a positive part of their life. If they invite you to join them, it's not intruding into your life. It's an invitation. No offense is intended.
Nov 20th, 2015, 02:44 PM
#67
" it's not intruding into your life"
You think not? Depends a great deal on how it's phrased, and the circumstances, but I do think can be intrusive. Religion should be private. If you are a work colleague your religion should not be a topic of conversation.
You think not? Depends a great deal on how it's phrased, and the circumstances, but I do think can be intrusive. Religion should be private. If you are a work colleague your religion should not be a topic of conversation.
Nov 20th, 2015, 02:51 PM
#69
I think not.
Obviously.
That's just what I said.
An invitation to visit another person's is not "intrusive".
If it goes beyond that, that's another issue.
"If you are a work colleague your religion should not be a topic of conversation."
If you consider, "Hey Thursday, if you are ever interested, I'd love for you to join me at church sometime" is no more "intrusive" than "Hey Thursday, if you are ever interested, I'd love for you to join me at lunch/ book club/ neighborhood party/ whatever sometime".
If you consider that invitation intrusive, I disagree.
"If you are a work colleague your religion should not be a topic of conversation"
I agree.
But inviting someone to join you at church/lunch/book club/ neighborhood party/ whatever is not making religion a topic of conversation.
IMO.
Obviously.
That's just what I said.
An invitation to visit another person's is not "intrusive".
If it goes beyond that, that's another issue.
"If you are a work colleague your religion should not be a topic of conversation."
If you consider, "Hey Thursday, if you are ever interested, I'd love for you to join me at church sometime" is no more "intrusive" than "Hey Thursday, if you are ever interested, I'd love for you to join me at lunch/ book club/ neighborhood party/ whatever sometime".
If you consider that invitation intrusive, I disagree.
"If you are a work colleague your religion should not be a topic of conversation"
I agree.
But inviting someone to join you at church/lunch/book club/ neighborhood party/ whatever is not making religion a topic of conversation.
IMO.
Nov 20th, 2015, 02:59 PM
#70
"And why would you issue such an invitation in the first place? "
To state the obvious, because it's a nice thing to do and/or you want to spend more time with that person. If, in the case of the OP, they are a new resident, it's an offer to help them feel connected to more people in a new area.
It's equally acceptable to say "Yes" or "No, thank you".
Just like any other invitation...to lunch or book club or neighborhood party...
To state the obvious, because it's a nice thing to do and/or you want to spend more time with that person. If, in the case of the OP, they are a new resident, it's an offer to help them feel connected to more people in a new area.
It's equally acceptable to say "Yes" or "No, thank you".
Just like any other invitation...to lunch or book club or neighborhood party...
Nov 20th, 2015, 03:17 PM
#71
I do consider it intrusive. Yes, an invitation to church IS making it a topic of conversation, whether the answer is yes or no.
No, it is not at all like an invitation to lunch.
Keep your religion to yourself until a person has become a good friend.
No, it is not at all like an invitation to lunch.
Keep your religion to yourself until a person has become a good friend.
Nov 20th, 2015, 03:23 PM
#72
This is an excellent discussion for the OP.
Lilah, church attendance is pretty strong in the "Deep South".
It's very possible - if not probable - that someone will invite you to join them at their church.
IMO that's a very nice thing to do.
To others, it's very "intrusive" and a very bad thing to do.
Your response is up to you.
Say "Thank you" and go.
Say "No thank you" and not go.
Be offended.
I've been invited to a variety of services and events at other churches representing different religions than mine. I've enjoyed every one. It never occurred to me to be offended, because as thursdaysd pointed out I'm "an adult, who has already made their own decision about their religion or lack thereof" - but also enjoy joining others in a variety of life experiences.
Good luck in your decision making!
Lilah, church attendance is pretty strong in the "Deep South".
It's very possible - if not probable - that someone will invite you to join them at their church.
IMO that's a very nice thing to do.
To others, it's very "intrusive" and a very bad thing to do.
Your response is up to you.
Say "Thank you" and go.
Say "No thank you" and not go.
Be offended.
I've been invited to a variety of services and events at other churches representing different religions than mine. I've enjoyed every one. It never occurred to me to be offended, because as thursdaysd pointed out I'm "an adult, who has already made their own decision about their religion or lack thereof" - but also enjoy joining others in a variety of life experiences.
Good luck in your decision making!
Nov 21st, 2015, 03:40 AM
#77
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Should I be offended?
Probably not. They realized immediately that you were your own little person and they wouldn't want to inflict you on their friends?
Yanno, if they just repeatedly asked, then it IS intrusive. Pretty thin skinned and insecure to be offended by--"would you care to join us at church sometime".
Probably not. They realized immediately that you were your own little person and they wouldn't want to inflict you on their friends?
Yanno, if they just repeatedly asked, then it IS intrusive. Pretty thin skinned and insecure to be offended by--"would you care to join us at church sometime".
Nov 21st, 2015, 05:11 AM
#79
Lilah, church attendance is pretty strong in the "Deep South".
It's very possible - if not probable - that someone will invite you to join them at their church.
And I think one would admit that this also depends, a lot, on just what part of the so-called "deep South" you happen to be in, how rural it might be, and all the rest of it.
I live a lot "deeper" than most people on this thread and when we say "south" Florida that's at least 300 miles further "south" than Georgia or Alabama.
As to being "offended" I suspect that might only happen once and there are some folks who get "offended" if you don't take up their invite.
IMO there are so many other, and more important issues, to worry about when moving just about anywhere than this one.
It's very possible - if not probable - that someone will invite you to join them at their church.
And I think one would admit that this also depends, a lot, on just what part of the so-called "deep South" you happen to be in, how rural it might be, and all the rest of it.
I live a lot "deeper" than most people on this thread and when we say "south" Florida that's at least 300 miles further "south" than Georgia or Alabama.
As to being "offended" I suspect that might only happen once and there are some folks who get "offended" if you don't take up their invite.
IMO there are so many other, and more important issues, to worry about when moving just about anywhere than this one.
Nov 21st, 2015, 05:51 AM
#80
@starrs - no doubt you mean well, but you are not putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
When you invite a person to your church you are saying, in effect:
Of course you are a Christian.
Of course you are my kind of Christian.
You are too dumb to find your own church.
The first two are none of your d* business and the third is just rude. You also appear to be proselytizing/recruiting, excessively annoying activities that put you on a par with the Jehovah's Witness or Mormon on my doorstep (although I haven't seen one lately) or the salesman on my telephone. But I don't have to deal with them again.
It used to be that religion was not a subject for the dinner table. It is not a subject for the workplace, either.
@Dukey - of course there are more important issues, but I couldn't let starrs "it's not intruding into your life" pass without comment. And if you happen not to be a Southern Baptist, or indeed any kind of Christian, it certainly raises an issue you are going to want to consider.
When you invite a person to your church you are saying, in effect:
Of course you are a Christian.
Of course you are my kind of Christian.
You are too dumb to find your own church.
The first two are none of your d* business and the third is just rude. You also appear to be proselytizing/recruiting, excessively annoying activities that put you on a par with the Jehovah's Witness or Mormon on my doorstep (although I haven't seen one lately) or the salesman on my telephone. But I don't have to deal with them again.
It used to be that religion was not a subject for the dinner table. It is not a subject for the workplace, either.
@Dukey - of course there are more important issues, but I couldn't let starrs "it's not intruding into your life" pass without comment. And if you happen not to be a Southern Baptist, or indeed any kind of Christian, it certainly raises an issue you are going to want to consider.
