Bob_Dobbs

What is considered to be average, acceptable attire for an opera at the Met. on a Monday night (not that the night of the week necessarily makes a difference)? This question is for men and women. Thanks in advanced. I am currently opperating under the assumption that a nice suit (not a business suit, but a tailored navy suit with a tie) and for her, a long, black, simple evening gown. Sound ok?

mclaurie

The only time you will see a long gown at the opera these days is on opening night. Otherwise, unfortunately, you'll see anything and everything from jeans to suits. If she wants to wear a gown she can, but it's certainly not necessary. A nice dress, suit or even pants outfit is fine.

Elainee

We go to the Met opera very often. A blue suit for a man is very nice, but few women wear long gowns unless they are going to a benefit after the performance. Monday night had been the most chic night as that was the night the "old line" New Yorkers went. Not really true anymore. A street length dress (a little bare) would be fine as would a pants suit with a dressy blouse. Most people come directly from work and are not "dressed up".

happytrailstoyou

Ditto.

NeoPatrick

We were just at the Met two weeks ago for LaTraviata on a Thursday night. I think I saw more men in blazers or sportcoats than suits even. And I was actually surprised that I didn't see a single man in a tux or a single lady in a gown. There were a couple women in long skirts, but frankly I'd call their look more Bohemian than formal. Most were wearing nice street length dresses and perhaps due to the cold I saw more dressy pants outfits than dresses.

TTess

Opening night is for formal attire. The other nights? Little black dress for the woman or chic suit. For the man? A suit or nice slacks and an equally nice sportcoat.

marginal_margiela

I have worn jeans to the Met on several occasions. Nobody really cares what you wear.

cabovacation

People aren't really looking at you. It's more about what you are comfortable wearing. I don't mean physically, but how you feel about what you are wearing and how it fits in, if that matters to you. Black works well. Pants or a dress for a woman.

If you want to get really dressy, again, no one really cares. Middle of the road means that you will fit in perfectly!

rhrd

Just go to a Simulcast, they have them around now LOL.

samschack

We attended a performance at the Met several months ago and I chose to wear a jacket and tie and which seemed to be pretty much the nortm. A businesss suit would be perfectly fine. As indicated above, formal wear is usually only found at opening night.
Even at places like the Met casual attire is becoming more and more acceptable. I find that to be a pity.

Bob_Dobbs

Thank you all, really. It is great that these forums exist. Also, the dress I think she will wear is about floor lungth, and not an "evening gown" per se, but more of a little black dress, but not so short as a typical cocktail dress. I just don't know how to express things well. Thanks again. As we will be in town celebrating our anniversary, I think getting dfressed up a bit will make it feel more special to us. Foprget what others may think... And to whoever would wear jeans to the Met: It is a free country and I for one would not tell you what to wear, but you should have within yourself a sense of cultural respect to dress up nicer than that, unless you truly cannot afford to do so, in which case I applaud you for chosing opera over fashion.

NeoPatrick

I've been biting my tongue about MM's remark "Nobody really cares what you wear."

I've been enough places like that to overhear many times comments like "I can't believe someone would wear jeans to an opera". It's fine if you want to wear jeans or even t-shirts, and you can feel good about doing so, but don't think that nobody cares. There are plenty of people who will think you are a slob for doing so. Many people who get dressed up for such things WILL care that those around them didn't. You might argue that's their problem, but don't suggest that "nobody cares". They do. And the post right above mine goes to show one such person who does care. I don't think Bob Dobbs is alone in his thinking, either.

HowardR

Especially if you are going to the opera during this cold weather, your wife will be fine and certainly not "out of place" with a long dress/skirt. Style conscious and smart women dress for both appearance and the weather!!!

bugswife1

Dress codes everywhere have become so relaxed that I think there are those who tend to take that overboard a bit. For instance, business casual. That phrase has drifted a bit now, hasn't it?
I too have worn jeans to the Met, but only in really crappy weather. Otherwise, nice pants and a decent shirt or sweater is fine.

marginal_margiela

Dearest Patrick, the last time I wore jeans to the Met, to see Marriage of Figaro, I also wore a blazer, button-down shirt, and Ferragamo boots. You don't have to look like a slob in jeans. You can look like a slob in a rumpled suit, scuffed shoes, and stained tie.

Good grooming and cleanliness goes very far.

marginal_margiela

Pardon me, that should be "go very far."

I just read Bob Dobbs' comments about my suppose "lack of culture," and "not being able to afford better clothing."

That is the funniest thing that I read here in a long time. Thanks for the laugh, Bobby.

Dukey

I suppose those same people whom some think are "underdressed" probably think all those other people are stupid for being "overdressed."

Some people think it is nice to get "dressed up" and I can understand why it is disappointing to do so and then be in a place where a LOT of other people aren't. But, historically, a lot of "dress codes" for a lot of places have changed over time.

NeoPatrick

MM, my statements were NOT a judgement call about your taste in clothes, nor about your ability to afford them. My only comment was that you are wrong when you say "Nobody really cares what you wear."
Obviously people do care what others wear to the opera. Many may not know the difference between Ferragamo and Payless shoes, or between designer jeans and those bought second hand at Goodwill. But to suggest they don't "think" they know when others aren't dressed up or care about what others are wearing is simply wrong.

And you are certainly misquoting Bob if you think he said YOU can't afford good clothes. Did you miss his "UNLESS you truly cannot afford. . ." If the "Ferragamo doesn't fit you, don't try to wear it!" LOL

bardo1

Neo,

I thought it was pretty clear you were not commenting on mm's particular taste in clothing.

And you make an excellent point on that tired retort that "Nobody really cares what you wear". Just because the entire audience has the civility not to say anything to your face doesn't mean they are not silently judging you.

coolbluewater

As a season-ticket holder to the Met, I just want to pipe up in support of MM. Honestly, "silently judging you"? I can't understand how what someone else is wearing affects your enjoyment of the performance. Judge away, I'll be listening to the opera, not paying attention to someone's outfit--no I didn't wear jeans last night to the Met, but I would have felt perfectly fine in jeans, boots, and nice blazer. As it was, I wore snow boots because of the weather--are you in shock? Did anyone judge me? Quite frankly, who cares?

In any case, the bigger worry is not what one wears to the Met, but the fact that the audience is aging and that younger people--some of whom can look quite nice in jeans--feel that opera is old and stuffy for precisely the slightly elitist attitudes presented in this post. Why do you think the Met is upping the marketing ante to children (1 hour version of Magic Flute) and to the public (live versions of Madama Butterfly, movie performances of The First Emperor)? Opera was meant for "the people," too, after all.

As Dukey pointed out, this kind of elitism in the theater and classical music performances was not always the norm and it's a shame. Classical music and theater can be enjoyed on a weekly basis, and if you want to dress up fine--but if it's a fun and casual experience for you, as long as you're not unwrapping candy during the music, wear what you want.