"This is my dream holiday destination and I want to do it properly!"

It's great your Mum is coming!

Stay in Manhattan. Don't commute.

Please do not stay in Connecticut if you can avoid it. It will consume time and money and it will prohibit you from resting during the day.

I objected to Bachlunch randomly choosing neigbborhoods in Manhattan as if these areas were some how more unsafe than others.

Then it morphed into general rules of caution.

No one can guarantee another's safety but on the other hand one should not instill an unnecessary sense of fear as well.

The Lower East Side is the epicenter of new college graduates living in Manhattan. If it were that unsafe the word would have gotten around by mouth, text, and rumor that it was otherwise.

NO - no. do NOT stay in CT. This is a terrible idea. You will waste hours each day trekking to and fro and will completely lose the atmosphere of staying in Manhattan for a suburban environment. Also - not sure where you have found in CT - but unless you are on top of a train station you will then have a commute on that end (by taxi?) getting to and fro a train station. And you will have to change you plans to fit the train schedule (which in late evening may be once an hour).

I'll say it too: please don't stay in CT if your aim is to be in NYC!!

My sister has insisted on doing this a few times, and it really kills the ability to hang out in the city. (She did it because she had a car to deal with - no excuse IMO - and has been here many many times.) On one visit, this idea was going to disrupt a family get-together so badly that it ended up being preferable to have 4 people camped out in my living room rather than them stay in CT!

Oh, and I'd concur with Auduchamp1. These days, there really isn't anywhere a visitor to the city would stay - in Manhattan or western Queens or Brooklyn - that would leave one with any more of a risk to personal security than would staying in midtown!

Also consider the cost for two of you to take Metro North back and forth from, say, Stamford CT. (Stamford is the closest CT city to NYC; my sister actually stayed in New Rochelle, NY, not CT.) Round trip peak tickets are $24.50 and $18.50 off peak (such as weekends). Times two, that's $40 or $50 each day!

For Metro North schedules and fares:
http://as0.mta.info/mnr/schedules/sched_form.cfm

Aduchamp1, you said the following:

"I objected to Bachlunch randomly choosing neigbborhoods in Manhattan as if these areas were some how more unsafe than others. Then it morphed into general rules of caution." [original was two separate paragraphs]

Please cite exactly what I said above in context to prove that this is exactly what I meant here. I'd especially like to see proof that:

-I "randomly" chose the neighborhoods I did -- especially given that these are all areas mentioned in recent Frommer's guidebooks over the last few years.

-that I initially said one thing and later backpedaled (or "morphed") into a different position on the subject.

Re this statement: "No one can guarantee another's safety but on the other hand one should not instill an unnecessary sense of fear as well."

-I would like proof to be presented that I am willfully trying to instill an unnecessary sense of fear about Manhattan on this forum. That's pretty unfortunate stuff to accuse someone of.

ggreen, you said: "These days, there really isn't anywhere a visitor to the city would stay - in Manhattan or western Queens or Brooklyn - that would leave one with any more of a risk to personal security than would staying in midtown!"

Are you in part saying that "there isn't anyplace in Brooklyn" that would leave one with any more risk than staying in midtown Manhattan? I'll take issue with idea, if so.

But I will definitely agree with Aduchamp1 and ggreen and nytraveler and starrs that staying in Connecticut and commuting into NYC each day of your vacation there is a bad idea.

No actually I meant western to apply to both Queens and Brooklyn - but I do see that I didn't spell that out as clearly as I should have.

...in Manhattan, or western Queens or Brooklyn...
...in Manhattan or western Queens or western Brooklyn...

And note I did say anywhere a visitor to the city would stay, by which I also was implying the same.

ggreen, thanks for the clarification on Brooklyn.

Lozz80, it's great that your mom has decided to come with you! Now you'll have company, and there will be two people who get to enjoy the vacation, instead of one.

I agree with others here that it would be a real shame if you had to stay in Connecticut and take the train in every day. You would lose hours every day in commuting. And with the extra train and taxi fares you'd accrue, I wonder if you'd really end up saving money.

I'm not sure what all the fuss is regarding security. There are obviously places in New York that are less safe than midtown. And there are also those that, even if they're not particularly dangerous, would just be less pleasant for you as a tourist visiting New York for the first time.

I think you should begin by trying to reserve lodging that's in Manhattan, but perhaps a little bit out of the center of things, and therefore less expensive. We can hopefully help you with comments about particular hotels, and with comments on whether various neighborhoods are safe, dangerous, exciting, sleepy, close to transportation, etc. I'm sure you'll get differing opinions, but that's an important reason why these forums are so valuable.

Here ya go Bachslunch:

You wrote:
Traditionally, it's considered wise to keep your wits about you late at night in areas above 96th Street, in the Meat Packing District, Alphabet City east of East Village, and parts of the Lower East Side.

That is picking neighborhoods randomly.

As noted above there are no busier areas in Manhtattan after midnight than the LES and Meatpacking. And these neighborhoods are the ones who changing for the safer, we can debate if gentrification is better.

Thus you giving a false impression of the areas.

No one can disagree with basic cautions in any part of the city. In fact when I used to work late in the Financial District, it was deserted and one had to maintain his/her wits.

Aduchamp1, you said: "Here ya go Bachslunch:

You wrote:
Traditionally, it's considered wise to keep your wits about you late at night in areas above 96th Street, in the Meat Packing District, Alphabet City east of East Village, and parts of the Lower East Side.

That is picking neighborhoods randomly."

I don't see how one can necessarily claim this. Please prove that my choosing these areas was actually done randomly, and not by

-actually walking through these areas.
-doing research.
-something else.
-a combination of one or more non-randomly chosen actions.

Maybe I missed this, but I'm having trouble finding this statement on the thread above: "As noted above there are no busier areas in Manhtattan after midnight than the LES and Meatpacking" or its equivalent. Could you please point it out to me?

Here ya go Bachs:

It is not exactly verbatim:The East Village from Ave B west has more people on the streets from Thursday night until Sunday morning at 3 AM than live in many towns.
_____________________________________________

Traditionally there was no one in Meatpacking area after 6 PM until fifteen yaers ago.

Tradtionally Morningside Heights was a terrible area and now it has changed dramatically

Traditionally Harlem has been a problem but now we have friends who purchased a relatively expensive coop there.

Traditionally west of the theatre district and Times Square were filled with hookers and druggies.

Traditionally Central Park was one of the most feared palces after dark.

You have a strange definition of traditionally.

For someone who did research, you did not even know that Alphabet City was part of the East Village. And just this week three or four new restairants opened up on near Avenue B or C, some expensive.

Aduchamp1 wrote: "Here ya go Bachs:

It is not exactly verbatim:The East Village from Ave B west has more people on the streets from Thursday night until Sunday morning at 3 AM than live in many towns."

It's not verbatim at all as I understand the term. What's said in the quote you referenced doesn't mention either the Meat Packing District or Lower East Side.

=====================================

Aduchamp1 wrote: "You have a strange definition of traditionally."

So please tell me -- what is my definition of "traditionally?" Be specific. You appear to think you know what it is.

=============================

Aduchamp1 wrote: "For someone who did research, you did not even know that Alphabet City was part of the East Village. And just this week three or four new restairants opened up on near Avenue B or C, some expensive."

I've seen differing opinions about this. Some sources indeed say Alphabet City is part of a much larger entity called the East Village. But I've also seen the St. Mark's region west of Alphabet City referred to as the "East Village."

In addition to the safety issues mentioned in recent Frommer's NYC guidebooks which pretty much agree with what I've said above, here's another source which suggests exercising caution after dark in Manhattan, and specifically mentions both Alphabet City and areas above 96th Street:

http://www.nyctourist.com/nycinfo_safety.htm

Here's another one that references Alphabet City, the Meatpacking District, and Lower East Side.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2188085_safe...york-city.html

Here's an article from 2009 that references Alphabet City specifically, mentioning that the safety of the area is considered controversial. It also says that Harlem is safe during the day:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2417098
/new_york_city_safety_and_precautions.html

This article mentions the Lower East Side specifically:

http://travel.usnews.com/New_York_NY/Neighborhoods/

The biggest problem you'll have at night in the Meatpacking District is getting through the crowds arriving in that area to go to the clubs and restaurants.
And if you don't go to Alphabet City, you'll miss some great dining experiences like Barbone.I agree with Aduchamp1.

Thanks to the people who have been helpful - lots to consider!

If we could stop the squabbling tho it would be great - getting more and more confused every time I come on here. Maybe you could take the fight somewhere else?!

Lozz80,

Perhaps you should begin a new thread (without squabbling), with new questions generated by the advice you have been given so far: "New York in Mar-Apr 2011--Where to stay?" or something like that. Fresh questions and answers now that you have Mom to the plan.