I would not move children over the age of 12 or 13 because of how disruptive it would be.

Yes, they would adjust but high school and middle school are your formative years and the stability of staying put shouldn't be overlooked.

I think that basing your decision on the alleged disruption to children would be unwise.

Many kids and teenagers move during their formative years. I did, and I was better off for it. You learn to develop a strong sense of yourself and how to make friends. Of course, it won't be easy, but either is making friends in college.

We had so many military children in my grandson's schools (K through 12th) that I don't think anyone thought anything about it. Kids were coming and going all the time. But I can see where in some small tightknit communities it could be a problem for some students. Best wishes regarding your decision mleg.

I would not worry too much about moving with kids. We moved several times while I was growing up, the last time when I was 16 yrs old. Yes, I was not happy about it at the time, but I did learn a lot from it.

Then after college I married a military officer. We moved 14 times during his career, and yes with children. The last time we moved, DD was in jr high. She adjusted just fine.

I am not trying to make it sound like moving is always easy on kids. I think it varies from child to child. I DO think that a parents outlook on the situation makes a huge difference though. If the child sees the parent as looking at the move in a positive way, it really helps.

Now, as far as Bellevue, yes this is the first time I have ever heard it referred to as affordable

I do think at least one trip, preferable during the winter months, would be smart. Some people love the weather (like us) and others have a hard time adjusting.

I'd love to move to WA but can't afford to live anywhere near Seattle. If you can swing it, lucky you. Definitely visit at different times, and check realtor.com

Just one thing I did take exception to - "I think moving goes with the territory of being a single parent"... I was a single parent for 8 years and didn't move once. (nor have some of the other divorced women I know) Wanted to, but I would never have taken my daughter away from her dad, who lives here. Now that she is a teen, she likes her school, loves her friends. (Tho I think if I said "we're moving to NYC!" she'd pack in a flash...)

I would've detested my parents if they moved me senior or junior year- but before that? How soon do I need to be packed???

Main problem, mleg- if the girls are used to California, they may hate WA- weather, shopping, entertainment wise. But if you move to Seattle they'll probably adjust just fine (it's just so expensive, though- you might as well stay in Marin if the affordability/congestion is the issue you want to escape)

Well, thanks everyone for the great discussion.austin: i'lll clarify my statement: moving has been part of our lives since becoming a single parent. i wasn't as lucky and had to move out from our house. i've since moved 6 times in the past 10 years with 3 girls in tow! each time was to better our situation-& we didn't start out too bad either. (yes, i've heard every grumble and moan from the kids too)we've become closer and tougher for it (and less materialistic!) you're right, many other single parents (i know many too!)have not moved. they're still in the same house they were in when their kids were small. there are truly merits to stability too. all in all, i tend to agree with mah1980, loveItaly and mms-though every family situation varies. it's the parents outlook and time to adjust that makes a move as doable as possible. i'm more curious than every about visiting Washington now. many many thanks for everyone's honest posts!

oops sp. error "ever" at the end. mleg

We moved to Bellevue from Portland when our kids were 12 and 15. First, let me say it is nice to be near family. We moved for work, but happened to wind up closer to my sister, and I love that.
Second, we didn't move from CA, and were used to the weather. No problems there.
Third, Bellevue isn't inexpensive, as noted, but prices vary and it depends how much you have to spend. It is way cheaper than the Bay area, as hard as that may be to believe. The west side of Bellevue is horribly expensive. The east side is not as bad.
Fouth, there are other nearby communities, like Redmond and Renton, which you should seriously consider.
Newport Hills is nice. Not inexpensive. I think some of it is in the Renton School District.
Beware of the math program in the Bellevue Schools. It is all "integrated" math, and hard to synch into from the outside, especially at the high school level. I think the other school districts might be easier to mesh with. I think many of the school districts are good, but you can check school by school. Don't just look at test scores as they are reflective of the socioeconomic status of the area and not necessarily of the quality of education available to a particular student. Ask people at the district level and in specific schools about the needs of your particular students. Good luck!

Yeah- test scores in WA are highly misleading.....

mleg, I'm hesitant to add anymore, b/c I think this is a case where you know what you want to do, and only you know all the "details" involved.

Yes, a move would be transforming for you, but do your kids want to be "transformed"? You also said it's made you all "tougher". How tough do the kids need to be? How long would you have to wait until they are all out of school? Is it that long? If all 3 are unhappy, that's a different story...

I know there are many valid reasons to move - a job transfer, military moves, family, etc. (Although, the way companies are being bought and sold today, I'd be leery of moving for a job). Do you have a job in WA? I think that would be a huge consideration as well.

I was all set to move to Portland (pre-kids), when my husband, who loved Oregon as much as I did, pointed out that he didn't actually have a job there, but he had a pretty good one here. In hindsight, it was a good idea for him to stay put, but we all know how hindsight is...

Orcas, thanks for pointing out that SAT scores do not necessarily indicate a quality school district. My district has very high test scores and also has an upper middle class socio-economic population. (And parents who shell out $$$$ for SAT classes, essay tutors, etc.) An indep. consultant review revealed that it is very hard to be "average" in our district, and pointed out significant concerns with special ed. The review pointed out many concerns that were never discussed - the district just always focused on those high test scores.

Truthfully, the amount of work I would have to do to research school districts (let alone everything else to consider) is enough to keep me here. But I do understand the desire to move.

Best wishes to you on your decision.

You've moved three teenage girls six times in ten years and don't think it is disruptive?

to karens:
Where is home-"here" for now? You did not say.
I do know what I'd like to do, yes, but since I've never been to Washington state, again, thus my reason for posting on this site.
I don't think I specified who the transformation and new beginning would be for--all of us, not just me. Tell me one person who doesn't have a bit of fear in the unknown--it's a normal feeling, I believe. I don't think I intentionally wanted to make my kids "tougher"--it came with the territory. There was no goal set for "toughness". They are able to give advice to others in need, console their peers at times and draw from their experiences--many of which others their age haven't a clue.
Yes, I believe I'm quite employable. I don't think I'd have too much trouble securing a job. I've been Head of Household for almost 10 years now. It would be wise to secure a job before moving. Would your husband have a hard time finding a job elsewhere? Is his line of work in demand? Do you work? Is your job stable enough to support that? Just ideas to toss around.
GoTravel: Are you a parent? A single parent? Did I say that moving as often as we did wasn't disruptive? Have you ever moved? Just food for thought from your comment-as there wasnt' too much in the way of advice about Washington State. Thanks for postings--

Hey mleg, can't help you with areas in Washington since I've only been there once on vacation, but I wanted to tell you about another site for additional information.

Here's the link:

http://tinyurl.com/napbo

I won't go into whether or not this will be good or bad for your kids. They're your kids and I'm sure you're not doing this to torture them! LOL!

Thanks AustinTraveler. Will check out the link. Your understanding was appreciated.

mleg - I live in suburban Phila. I love the Pacific NW but know I could not tolerate the rain/winter gloom. But, for other family reasons, I'm not planning on moving, although we love Colorado and the west in general.

My husband could find another job in another area of the country, but he has done very well where he currently is. He's fine, but not quite sure what my husband or my employment has to do with anything? (But, FYI, I'm not too employable right now - I've been home raising kids while he travels for his job; work part time in a gym. Not exactly the ideal candidate for a professional job!)

I know so many people in unstable jobs right now - so many companies are buying/selling/downsizing, etc. that no job seems quite so stable. Would not want my husband to give up his "good" job right now to move somewhere where the future is uncertain, esp. with kids entering college soon.

Obviously, I am not in your shoes - only you know your details and how your girls feel and could react.

mleg - 6 times in 10 years? Not knowing the details of your situation it seems that you are moving for the sake of moving? If you haven't gotten it right in 6 tries, why do this again to your family? You say it is to "better your situation"...What is so bad that you have to better it 6 times in 10 years? (That was rhetorical). Sometimes a place to call home with some years of memories is more important? Sounds like you and your girls are happy where they are.

karens: i was just trying to figure out who the people are that are posting. i have a feeling sometimes that many are very ready to give advice but are very hesitant to divuldge anything about themselves. ie, giving advice about how to parent when they are not parents themselves, or making statements that may be somewhat judgemental that has little to do with what the original post was about. Anyway karens, thanks for being so candid about yourself. I'm learning tons and hope that many others are too.

DH and I both went to college in the Bay Area and love it--have lived in Bellevue now for 15 years and love it. Compared to Marin, Bellevue will be affordable. Moving with girls that age will be a challenge, but just having girls that age is a challenge, so....

IMO you should all come and check it out before making the move. I dragged DH and DD here 16 years ago in August and they fell in love with it, but in Jan....well, that might have been a different story, though none of us regret the move.

You can get a real estate agent to show you all around and that might help make you decision easier.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Speaking of Bellevue, why did you decide on Bellevue specifically?