I think I shall remember all your names ... so that I may stay well clear of you in the future. This is possibly the strangest, more unoriginal group of veggies and fruitcakes I've come across on Fodor's. Leaving this thread reminds me of walking out of either a garden or an orchard. Yes, now we know, there are indeed things worse than trolls. I'd wish you a good day, but I'm uncertain you're capable. Ciao

What's your problem, L? You were suckered by this thread, and rather than admit it, you lash out at the people who figured it out earlier? You're normally so nice. Why so bitter about this?

I think the reason most people had a problem with this thread and the reason I stayed away from it until now, is that it seemed strange, pompous, and unnecessary for "Amanda" to focus so much on the "high society bragging" of herself and her in-laws. If she had just stated simply that she is non-American and meeting her American in-laws for the first time, and had asked some pointers about our culture, I think she would have gotten much more civilized and helpful advice/comments. Really, what WAS the reason for mentioning things like the plantation, her in-laws being a well known family, etc? That was purely for show, in my opinion. I thought this was a made up original post and still think so. But if not, hopefully you've learned a thing or two, Amanda, about how to approach such situations in the future.

Well, abc, you make a good point. I'm still nice, really, LOL. I'm not lashing out, although it must sound that way. And honestly, I don't feel suckered in the least. Call me totally "duh", but I'm still not convinced it was a troll. I may very well be wrong, of course, and if that's true, I can assure you it will be the 1,000th time (at least). So, no, not an ego thing. I believe what bothered me was the tone of the thread, the fact that it just went on and on. It seemed that things had gone so downhill that it was embarrassing to watch everyone pile on. I was simply separating myself from the herd. So, not bitterness, at least I hope not. Anyway, thanks for the feedback ... I am going to rethink my approach and redouble the better part of my personality. Ciao

I always knew you were a class act, L!

Not familiar with the manners of your culture? I think that respect and graciousness are basic manners that transcend all cultures. Even though Amanda might be making up her story,
we could all take this a chance to reflect on how we as americans treat each other. The rat race has never been so fast and it surprises me just how good and bad people can be.

I am not going to spend my time trying to figure out if someone is a troll. But I can imagine my Indian relatives (I'm European-American, but my husband's parents immigrated from India before he was born) having some of the same questions upon their first visit to the U.S., even though they may be highly educated and speak English as well as I do (and who would know some of the American/English colloquialisms, but probably not all).

So, assuming Amanda is in the same boat as they could be...

I don't know the customs regarding greetings in Zanzibar, but Americans vary greatly in how they great each other, including relatives. Some hug, others also kiss upon meeting. If they are leaving each other for a long time (say, returning to Zanzibar), the same would apply. Probably more physical contact than the British, less than the Italians. If they sense that you are uncomfortable with hugging, they probably will not hug you. A "welcome gift" is always nice but is not expected; a small item for any member of your husbands' family that you're staying with. Something distinctive of Zanzibar would be nice.

The Americans will probably be quite curious about you and your life, but probably will not bring up extremely personal questions upon first meeting you (i.e., when are you going to have kids). Any genuine questions from you regarding how American culture works would be well-recieved, and would be a good way to "speak up".

As I'm sure you're aware, American culture is not as conservative as muslim (or Indian) cultures in matters of dress for women. At the dressier events, women will wear dresses, probably sleeveless, usually fitted (though not necessarily). At the beach, shorts will be the norm. In the circles it sounds like you'll be in, the clothing will not be too sexy or revealing (I know that's a subjective comment), i.e., no very low-cut necklines, bare midriffs or real tight skirts.

Feel free to e-mail me with any additional questions.

Anyone with class and breeding does not need to brag about homes, plantations, education etc. They are quite unassuming and modest.

Well, I was going away and leave well enough alone, and I should have, but fool that I am, I saw that last bit of advice, from the perspective of the east indian culture, and it left me weak on my feet (I am currently typing this on my knees). I can imagine the women on this thread rolling their eyes. I have so many choice, I do mean choice, reactions to convey ... but will spare you. But do allow me just to comment on U.S. hugging for anyone fresh to our shores. It can range in motion and angle from the A-frame method to the pelvis-to-pelvis, really, really glad to see 'ya maneuver. And various twitches in between. This thread is just ... well, time to go away. I leave laughing!! This has been fun, I think. Ciao

What the heck, to the top!

amanda, where in New hampshire is the house. I know the areaa and state very well.

Amanda,
Just be yourself; your husband loves you for you and so will his family. Don't worry about being proper; maybe your husband can give you a few pointers but be natural. Good luck

Considering Amanda has had almost 4 years to brush up on American culture, I hope she passed with flying colors.

Just read this post from top to bottom for the first time - hilarious - you guys are the best

Given the time difference between America and Africa - "Amanda" clearly stays up all night writing on Fodor - quite a woman with alll this international travelling to do!
Great fun

Faina, I'm more interested in how on earth you found this almost 6 year old thread. What were you searching when you found it? Zanzibaris? Looney Tunes? Manners?

By the way, this should be kept at the top for those who think that "recently" people are being rude here, or that troll posts and troll busting are a new thing.

It may be an old post but it is still funny! A great post to top for April Fools day. Thanks

ttt ... and Russia was fab!! Thanks to all who helped.