Ladies: Would you mind a masseur?
Aug 9th, 2006, 01:31 PM
#21
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Yes, I wouldn't want a man other then my husband for a massage. Yes, I would make sure to inquire about the gender. No, I don't think this can be the front desk's responsibility or concern.
I even pick a gender of my doctors and dentists! And I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people find it easier to deal with the same sex, some with opposite.
I even pick a gender of my doctors and dentists! And I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people find it easier to deal with the same sex, some with opposite.
Aug 9th, 2006, 02:36 PM
#23
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I have always gone to a masseuse. I have no ethical or moral or even personal point of view against a masseur - but I would feel odd being massaged by a strange man.
To me, an MD or nurse is really diferent - they have gone through years of intensive training - and in the case of a nurse are under the supervision of a hospital. They have been tested and licensed by the state and their practice approved by the institution in question.
If the masseur was recommended by a friend I might feel differently - but not a stranger.
In any cse, they should certainly have asked you first. And if you were uncomfortable you should have rescheduld the appointment.
To me, an MD or nurse is really diferent - they have gone through years of intensive training - and in the case of a nurse are under the supervision of a hospital. They have been tested and licensed by the state and their practice approved by the institution in question.
If the masseur was recommended by a friend I might feel differently - but not a stranger.
In any cse, they should certainly have asked you first. And if you were uncomfortable you should have rescheduld the appointment.
Aug 9th, 2006, 03:08 PM
#27
Speedbuggy, I must have missed your post. Sorry. I'll be interested nonetheless to see where most guys come down on this one. Something tells me most guys wouldn't mind some other woman putting their hands all over them. Women, on the other hand, pun intended, seem to prefer their own man or else a female. Knowing what little I know about the sexes, this wouldn't surprise me. But hey, the polls haven't closed yet so we'll wait for the final tallies.
Aug 9th, 2006, 03:14 PM
#28
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Thanks, CaribTraveler. I've a few comments about nurses and pts of the opposite sex too, but they'll get too far off topic 
In a more serious vein, to answer your interesting thread... I've only had female masseuses, and would not want a masseur to do a "full body." And though your husband was joking, I know some folks, of both sexes, who'd be seriously upset (whether it's rational, groundless, or not) about someone of the opposite sex "putting hands all over " their partner.
Happy massage therapy to all!
In a more serious vein, to answer your interesting thread... I've only had female masseuses, and would not want a masseur to do a "full body." And though your husband was joking, I know some folks, of both sexes, who'd be seriously upset (whether it's rational, groundless, or not) about someone of the opposite sex "putting hands all over " their partner.
Happy massage therapy to all!
Aug 9th, 2006, 04:19 PM
#29
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I have Fibromyalgia and so get massages fairly regularly. I ask for a woman if I don't already know that they only have women. Each of the three or four times I've had a male masseur, his hands have traveled a little farther down my chest than any woman's ever has. It was never to the point of being inappropriate, but still I found it hard to relax because I would lie there thinking, "OK, where's he going to stop?"
I had a funny experience with a male masseur once. Did anyone here see the Friends episode where Ross got stuck giving a massage to one of Phoebe's clients? It turned out to be a wrinkly old man, and Ross was reluctant to touch him, so he used kitchen implements instead of his hands.
Well, this poor man massaging me was doing a technique that reminded me of that scene. I got the giggles, and I think I offended him. He said, "Usually my clients find this relaxing" in a reprimanding tone. I never went back to that spa.
I had a funny experience with a male masseur once. Did anyone here see the Friends episode where Ross got stuck giving a massage to one of Phoebe's clients? It turned out to be a wrinkly old man, and Ross was reluctant to touch him, so he used kitchen implements instead of his hands.
Well, this poor man massaging me was doing a technique that reminded me of that scene. I got the giggles, and I think I offended him. He said, "Usually my clients find this relaxing" in a reprimanding tone. I never went back to that spa.
Aug 9th, 2006, 04:25 PM
#31
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I've thought about hot stones, but always enjoy my regular massages so much I haven't wanted to switch. Do they place the stones for a while, then proceed with a regular massage? I might just have to try it.
Aug 9th, 2006, 04:36 PM
#32
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They place the warm stones on certain spots (chi spots? I don't know. They felt perfectly placed and very good). The massage portion was with oiled rounded river stone all over your body. Had it in Sedona. It was wonderful.
In regard to some other comments - I wonder if some of us just don't sexualize a massage in any way? I just can't think of a time I felt anyone was being inappropriate. I have had some VERY interesting conversations with the massage therapists. I especially enjoyed the conversation with a man about my age who had been in a medical service capacity and decided to go back to school in his 40's with the goal to complete med school. Huge hands by the way. Great massage.
In any case, I agree to just tell the therapist if something is making you uncomfortable. You definitely can't relax if otherwise.
In regard to some other comments - I wonder if some of us just don't sexualize a massage in any way? I just can't think of a time I felt anyone was being inappropriate. I have had some VERY interesting conversations with the massage therapists. I especially enjoyed the conversation with a man about my age who had been in a medical service capacity and decided to go back to school in his 40's with the goal to complete med school. Huge hands by the way. Great massage.
In any case, I agree to just tell the therapist if something is making you uncomfortable. You definitely can't relax if otherwise.
Aug 9th, 2006, 06:00 PM
#33
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When I get a massage it's because I'm in pain from "holding my stress" as the doctor calls it, not because I want to relax a little, and in my experience, women massage therapists don't have the strength needed to massage away the kiwi sized knots in my shoulder. Out of 10 or so different people I've been to, I only found one (several years ago) who had the touch, and she ended up moving to Las Vegas to work in a casino hotel. I should find out if she's still there and look her up in September...
however, on a more interesting note, on the roles gender play... in April my husband and I had massages at the same time as part of a package. Both of our massage therapists were women. When they met with us, the one assigned to my husband asked him what kind of massage he wanted (swedish, deep tissue, etc), if he had any problem areas, and a few other questions I don't remember what they were at the moment. The one assigned to me, who in retrospect was obviously a trainee, asked me if I had a scent preference for oil and no further questions. That was the most fru-fru massage I've ever had. I wouldn't even call it a massage. It was an anti-massage.
Then, when they were done, the one assigned to me left, and the one assigned to him still focused her attentions on him asking him if there were any other tight areas to work out, if he wanted any water, if he wanted a hot towel on his back for a few minutes. Meanwhile I'm over here like a nonentity.
The only conclusion I can come to is that they figured he'd be paying for the massages. They were wrong.
however, on a more interesting note, on the roles gender play... in April my husband and I had massages at the same time as part of a package. Both of our massage therapists were women. When they met with us, the one assigned to my husband asked him what kind of massage he wanted (swedish, deep tissue, etc), if he had any problem areas, and a few other questions I don't remember what they were at the moment. The one assigned to me, who in retrospect was obviously a trainee, asked me if I had a scent preference for oil and no further questions. That was the most fru-fru massage I've ever had. I wouldn't even call it a massage. It was an anti-massage.
Then, when they were done, the one assigned to me left, and the one assigned to him still focused her attentions on him asking him if there were any other tight areas to work out, if he wanted any water, if he wanted a hot towel on his back for a few minutes. Meanwhile I'm over here like a nonentity.
The only conclusion I can come to is that they figured he'd be paying for the massages. They were wrong.
Aug 9th, 2006, 09:27 PM
#35
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Starrsville- In my case, it's not innapropriate in a sexual manner, just inappropriate in an attitude manner- For example, the last hair stylist I used was convinced she knew best....so when I asked for a trim, she'd take 3 inches off and say- now isn't that better? The one I go to now actually listens!
And some people sexualize EVERYTHING....
Hunterblu- the gender thing has happened a few times in restaurants to my parents! A few waitresses focus their sole attention on my father, and push my mother to the side. The amusing part? My dad doesn't decide the tip and doesn't care about the service....my mother, on the other hand...
And some people sexualize EVERYTHING....
Hunterblu- the gender thing has happened a few times in restaurants to my parents! A few waitresses focus their sole attention on my father, and push my mother to the side. The amusing part? My dad doesn't decide the tip and doesn't care about the service....my mother, on the other hand...
Aug 9th, 2006, 09:42 PM
#36
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I've been massaged by both men and women and in recent years I have come to prefer female masseuses. Just my preference, I guess. The men always seem so tense or rushed, and the last guy who massaged me even scolded me! So .... just women for me on the massage table.
Aug 9th, 2006, 11:41 PM
#37
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I'm with you Caribtraveler, I couldn't imagine having a strange man massage me. I could never relax, I have enough trouble relaxing at the best of times. If it was just a back massage then maybe not so important, but a whole body massage, yikes, no thanks. Actually I don't really like body massage anyway so it is not really a problem for me cos I hardly ever have one. I am a beauty therapist myself and love facials etc and agree with a previous poster about the hot stones massage - very good!!
Aug 10th, 2006, 05:53 AM
#38
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I would be uncomfortable with a masseur. Can't really explain why, jsut a quirk I guess. I do always ask for a female when I make my reservation, and have never had an issue with it. BTW, those hot stone massages are fantastic! I had my first one several years ago at Red Mountain and have been hooked.
Aug 10th, 2006, 08:45 AM
#39
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Oh yes, the hot stones, first one of those I had was in Taos, I was actually light-headed when it was over. Had to sit down & drink some water...Funny thing, in Vegas all the spas I have been to are 'same sex' therapists...of all places, you would think that would not be an issue there (?!).
