cmeyer54

Why not get two rooms? that seems to be the issue rather than of just 'travelling together'.

Patrick

The most bizarre thing about this thread is that this 23 year old woman posted it asking what a bunch of total strangers think and then gets mad when any of them relate it to the situation at home. Of course, whether you're paying rent or support and how you support yourself are VERY important to the issue, as is your employment and how you or whoever is paying for the trip. How could intelligent advice or opinions be given without getting into those areas? Don't expose yourself to scrutiny if you don't want to be scrutinized. I guess what you really wanted is to be able to tell your mother that everybody agreed with you, whether they understood the facts or not. Sorry, it just doesn't work that way.

Methinks if the three of you travel to Europe, she may be feeling a bit left out of this trip.

rb_travelerxATyahoo

My opinion? Well, if you were living at my house, you could do as you damn please.

But you're not at my house, you're at your Mom's. If you're not paying full market value for your lodging there, then she probably feels she's aiding your "sin".

Best solution is, since you're "probably making more money than you (the rest of us) are", is to take some of that money and get your own place .... but then you'd not have the disposable income for the Caribbean trip, right?

If you dance, you gotta pay the band!

gotribe

I will stick to your question. No, I don't think it's inappropriate. My mother would feel the same way as yours, that it's a sin, but I don't.
And I don't think 23 is too old to be living at home. Now if you were 43...

Tandoori_Girl

It is inappropriate for a 23-year-old to be living at home, sponging off her parents, then expecting them to let her do whatever she wants to do with her 28 year old boyfriend.

Listen to me, girl. If you want some freedom then walk out that door and get your own place. You will be so happy you did it.

gotribe

I wasn't under the impression she was sponging off her parents. If she's making that much money, I would assume she's paying some rent, her car insurance, etc. At least she should.

buckeyemom

jvrab-sounds like you all should be on Dr. Phil www.drphil.com.

pamperedprincess

I was in the same situation, wanting to travel with my boyfriend at 23, he 27. I did not live at home, but near and care very much about what my parents think of my decisions.

My parents "frowned" upon it, because they are a bit traditional. We went anyway and had a great time. They got over it and now we are engaged. If we had waited to travel until we got married we wouldn't have been on a trip together for 6 years!!

I think it has little to do with living at home (although you have to hear more about it) and all to do with the relationship you have with your mother. If your mother is at all like mine, she will have her opinions, but will want you to make good decisions for yourself that will make you happy and healthy!! It is a generational thing... but trust will bridge the gap!

Janny

I honestly don't see a problem. If your parents are worried about you doing something in the Caribbean they don't approve of, you can do that same thing at home. NY, Chicago, I still see no difference than if you went to the Caribbean. Maybe you should consider moving in your own place.

cigalechanta

and even in the back of a car (sigh) remember those days?

emd

What is really amusing and telling is how this has sparked such strong stuff in so many people. Wonder why.

nytraveler

You are an adult - not a child. Simply tell you mother that much as you love and respect her where you go, when and with whom is none of her business. Then go and enjoy your vacation.

(And if mom says you can't do this and live under my roof - that is absolutely her right - and either move in with you boyfriend or get your own place - it really is time if you're having these conflicts.)

cigalechanta

emd, people are not aware that it's a trend to live at home in France and Italy. It certainly is simpler, less expensive and if you like mom's taste in decor, well you have it made. Now the only worry is if the loved one has his/her apartment.

wow

Your question is interesting. You know what the real issue is & it's not the "appropriateness" of the situation. It is about "expectations". Your Mum "expects" you to be engaged @ this point in time. Maybe you do too. You have been together 3 years. Your Mum is thinking "It's time to fish or cut bait!" She may or may not have told you that. So, it really has nothing to do w/ the "appropriateness" of the situation. It's about your Mum's expectations. You have to make the decision that is right for you. Not what is right for your Mum. Not what is right for Fodorites. You know what to do. So...do it! (and, let us know what you decide to do!)

Scarlett

Ahhh mimi, I remember those days LOL~

I must be a terrible mother, I would love for my children to come home, I miss them, I don't care how old they are. I would never take rent money from one of my children either! Jeez, if you can't feel that when things get bad, you can't go home unless you pay, so sad..
Now about what your mom says ... she thinks it is inappropriate for you to travel together without being married.
I think that is what most parents feel, deep down in their hearts, the old fashioned wish that their children would get married and then do the sleeping/traveling together bit.
She might also be cautioning you on traveling with someone that she does not approve of?
Only you know your mother and the situation, I think you will not find that much help here, if you even really want it. I do not think calling Go Travel rude is so nice either, considering you are asking a very personal question on a travel board, you should expect all kinds of answers.
And you did ask "what is your opinion"
This is mine, for what it is worth~

WillTravel

jvrab, you are asking a religious and moral question.

Clearly your mother is of one opinion about it (and probably does not want to know what you do while still at home).

Everyone here on the board has different religious and moral beliefs, so I can't see how our opinions will help you specifically.

I think your mother is concerned about your well-being - not that she is trying to be mean.

dfotravels

Hey, shouldn't this be posted in the Carribean forum?

Just kidding. Interesting, yet bizzare post.

ronkala

Does anyone else think we have a troll here?

cigalechanta

I considered it.

travleis

I thought it was a troll until I found the original poster asking "travel with my boyfriend" questions on the Europe board (trip to be taken in summer 2004).
Mom was invited on that trip, so apparently there's no contentiousness over that one.

If this is not a troll post we have some major immaturity issues at the root of all this.
Really now, asking a bunch of strangers about the propriety of one's adult sex life and mom's disapproval of such?