suze

Can the 40 people you want to invite all afford to pay to get themselves to a "destination"?

NewbE

Have it on the grandparents' acreage and invite those people whom you feel would be hurt if you left them out. The list can grow a bit beyond the 40 if you manage your budget tightly--and there is NOTHING wrong with doing that.

And no offense, but you might be surprised at how many people might be relieved at being left out

As for budget, how much do you want to spend, of the money you have available? Then that's the budget. Doesn't matter what anyone else would call reasonable.

A destination wedding means that a lot of your expenses will be hard to manage--flowers, food, location, you'll have to pay someone for all of that stuff, with little ability to shop around or DIY because you won't be home. And it means a lot more expense for your guests. The idea that they'd be getting a vacation out of it is a nice one, but since the location and timing won't be their choice, it won't really be a vacation.

Sweet, simple, thrifty, so you can move on to your happily married life (and maybe take a honeymoon trip)--that's the way to go!

MmePerdu

Wedding expenses are manageable, if you manage them. The expenses incurred starting a new business are another matter entirely. Save every dollar you can on the wedding for the business and though it sounds as if you're thinking in that direction, think even harder, be strict with yourself. Speaking from experience, if business debt becomes an issue it can ruin business and relationship.

marvelousmouse

"The idea that they'd be getting a vacation out of it is a nice one, but since the location and timing won't be their choice, it won't really be a vacation."


Yep. I did that with the last "destination wedding" that I was obliged to go to so at least I wouldn't feel upset about the plane fare. The location upset the people who genuinely wanted to go, but couldn't afford the ticket. It upset the people who did go, but made sacrifices to do so. The "trip" part after the wedding has good memories for me, but mostly because I was no longer at the wedding surrounded by the family drama. And really, it isn't the money that is the only problem. It's assuming that your guests will be able to take the time off and make the arrangements to be away from home. Last wedding I attended was in the middle of the week because the bride wanted to only have the people who were willing to take time out of their life to come. I think it also had to do with the church availibility. I didn't mind, it worked for me, and I would not have missed the wedding for anything...but the whole time I was thinking that it wasn't very nice to do to your guests who did want to come but worked weekdays, and not really an effective way to thin out the crowds anyway- why not just limit the guest list? In the case of that wedding, it was only luck that made it possible to attend- I had used my vacation time up already and I think people are increasingly put into that position. The assumption that peole will- let alone can- make your wedding into a vacation may be untrue not to mention a bit impolite.

Tabernash2

"A destination wedding means that a lot of your expenses will be hard to manage--flowers, food, location, you'll have to pay someone for all of that stuff, with little ability to shop around or DIY"

That's not correct. There are many, many ways to have a destination wedding.

But, in most cases, you probably need to hire a wedding planner, which adds a couple thousand $$$s. I will say, though, that our wedding planner saved us costs that exceeded her fee. Because a good wedding planner knows the venue, and all the best vendors, and can get discounts for everything.

Bottom line is your budget. Go to the numerous wedding websites, which will give you sample budgets, and costs to expect, and a budget template.

Have the wedding YOU want. Period. Don't be concerned about what we say here.

ekscrunchy

Here is my two cents: Weddings that force guests to fly to a distant location are a big imposition for many of those guests. Not only do they take a chunk of time out of a working schedule, but they entail so much money for flights, hotels and incidentals. I have been invited to weddings, in recent years, in San Francisco, San Juan, and upstate NY. The first two cost two of us a few thousand dollars between flights, rental car, gifts, hotel stays at the suggested upscale hotels long enough to attend rehearsal dinners and other planned events, clothing, on and on.

If you are looking to save some money for a business, I think you would do better planning something nearby, or at the very least, within a reasonable drive by car.

suze

elope ;-)

then have a small party on the family property

then start your business

Tabernash2

Ekscrunchy, any wedding you attend will cost guests, in attire, and gifts. Travel, too, unless it's in your home town. So most are "destination" weddings.

I'd prefer to travel to a nice destination, rather than just to a lackluster hotel in an ordinary city.

It can be done in such a way that everyone's happy. We pulled off a fantastic wedding at a mountain ranch last May. All our guests gushed about the location, the food, the lodging, and all took advantage of the outdoor activities.

The trick is to consider your guests at every step. We knew our family & friends would love it. It helped that the bride & groom are 30-something, so their friends are all established in their careers and could splurge on a trip. Also helped that this was not one of six weddings for that group last year. Again, planning is key.

The MoG especially loved it, because her DD had her wedding st their home. It did not go well. DD's husband said it was the exact wedding his Mom had wished for his sister.

Also, our ranch destination fit his family to a T, as they are ranchers themselves, and they appreciated the real working, eco ranch where we held it.

You can do it well if you want.

ekscrunchy

Yes, one can "do it well." It may also cost the guests much more money than if they can drive to a location near their home. As I mentioned, it cost us a few thousand dollars to fly to both the locations chosen for the weddings, stay at hotels, pay for meals not included in the wedding festivities, rent a car, etc etc.

Given that the two couples making the (two different) weddings were from NYC, they had many options that were not "lackluster." Instead one couple chose to make a wedding in San Juan on the Fourth of July. We had a great time, but it was very expensive for many of the guests who had budgetary constraints, not to mention the difficulties faced by the elderly relatives whoo needed to travel by plane to these locations.

If the guests are all well heeled, then much of what I discussed will not apply.

Tabernash2

Having people travel internationally could be a PIA.

My point is that there are many ways to do a destination wedding. To discount one without researching it would be silly, if that's what the couple really wants.

lindalea

We had our wedding 20 years ago in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. It was just immediate family about 12 and it was at Couples Resort.
It was fabulous! When we got back we had a themed reception Jamaica style!! It was a hoot. We had a wedding video taken as well as our whole trip video and played it thru the night. Their was Regga music and limbo contest and people came dressed in their finest island wear.

Cali

Many weddings now days are destination weddings for some or even many of the guests. Many brides and grooms no longer live in their hometowns and rarely do both of them come from the same hometown or even state. We have been to many weddings in cities and other places that are not the hometown of one or both parties. I say if you can go and want to go do so, but don't complain about where a couple gets married as it is their day and their choice.