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Some people are, and want to be, the hostess with the mostest. This is the way they think naturally...and they are a different breed from me!! :) Frequent Fodorites might easily assume that everyone wants fresh towels daily, and at the best hotels, sheets are changed daily so it'd be nice to do the same for a guest. She was, IMHO, giving the very best hospitality she knew how...and got slapped for it.
I've known a handful of people in my lifetime who just knock themselves out for everyone and they do it out of thoughtfulness, and nothing more. A friend here came in daily to feed our cat while we were out of town. Actually, she only filled in for two days at the end of our absence when our neighbor, who was doing it, had to be away. After a long exhausting drive, dh and I arrived back home around 7 PM the last night. On the counter was a card welcoming us back and telling us she'd made pot of fresh tomato basil soup which we'd find in the frig. There was a fresh baguette from Central Market (about 10 miles from here) on the counter, she had not only cleaned the cat's litter box but changed the litter, brushed her, and there was a new toy on the floor!!! I felt awful that she had gone to so much effort, but you know...that's just the way she is in every aspect of her life. She "does" for everyone. I suspect she and Pat2003 are two peas in a pod and I wish I had just an iota of that gene in me! It is truly an insensitive boor who repsonds to such kindness with utter rudeness. |
I wonder if Prince Charles stayed in the Lincoln bedroom at the White House, whether Laura Bush would clean up his room and leave him clean linens and flowers when he was out. Okay, not a good question but I just had to ask.
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Good Lord, this makes my skin crawl!! I would immediately suspect something is "not right" with my "house guest". Are you kidding? Who would not think this guy is hiding something??? That's my response to his reaction, however, I would not be changing the sheets in my guest room like a Holiday Inn maid for anyone! I hope you've learned a lesson or two with this one. #1. It's your house, He's the guest and you can do whatever you please, however, that being said, YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE THE MISTRESS OF THE CASTLE, NOT THE MAID!
When I have guests I almost never go into their room as I feel it's their space and it should be respected as such. If I did have a reason to bring towels, bedding, extra blankets etc. I would just leave it and not be involved in their housekeeping. I hope your husband's "friend" is gracious enough to have a hostess gift for you and if he hasn't done that or at least taken you out for a nice dinner I would never extend another invitation. |
JAGIRL, the house guest was there for only one or two days before she changed the sheets. He was not there for a month. She did not say there was any funky smell coming from the room. He didn't want flowers in the bedroom and bathroom. He didn't ask for any of it and didn't want any of it.
She said the guest and her husband left for a day. She probably got mad and tried to make her husband and his college friend feel quilty about it. There was no need to play the part of house maid, in the bedroom which he was given for the weekend. Guilt-tripping someone about trivial things they do while a guest in your home is manipulation. This guy will probably never come back to Her home. |
GeorgeW, :))
No Laura might not go do it herself...but I'm sure some protocol officer would make sure it was done! :) |
After that last post I wonder...
Could it be that <b>jorr</b> was the houseguest? :? |
Last week my 24 year old son was visiting from out of state and he stayed with us.
I did not clean his room, I just left the door shut... it was a mess. He left all his toiletries out in the guest bathroom and I will admit to y'all (because you don't know us) that I saw a prescription bottle and looked at it to see what it was... I did not mention it to him but did tell my husband. It was for something that has caused me to worry. |
Are you sure they aren't more than "old college roommates"?
Have you ever heard your husband refer to them as "<i>fishin' buddies</i>"? Has he ever slipped-up and called you Alma? Ain't nobody's business but their own! |
Do you think he might have um...., you know, in the bed, and have been embarrassed that you might have spotted the 'evidence'?
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All I can say is Pat's guest better never come to my house b/c the guest room is really my cat's room and she'll do whatever she darn well pleases in there - whether the guest likes it or not! :)
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jorr,
you're really infering a lot from the OP. Caroline- too funny! |
Caroline, he could have claimed he was asleep.
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Oh...for Gawd Sakes....Bluestar & Dog-on a-Log or whatever your name is....are you trying to get this thread yanked? What the heck does the husband's rel'ship w/ the house guest have to do w/ anything? He was rude. Period.
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Methinks the July issue of Fodor's Furry Foot Fetish was left out.
Isn't it interesting to see the vareity of opinions, barbs and judgements here? Where else can you go and within mere seconds, get a good mental spanking for being polite, generous, assertive, helpful, observant, dicriminating and all the other adjectives bandied about? I remember an email from a friend who told me all the nice ways she made her guest room like a spa experience and thinking I'd never match her abundance if she were to visit(well, except for generous amounts of wine perhaps...) J. |
Your houseguest sounds like a real
"Whack Job!" How old is this man? Probably didn't want you to find any dirty magazines.. I would of kicked him out right then and there..No one talks to me in my home like that when I am trying to be the hostess with the most.. Living in a destination place and have a large home we have guests and I am a neat freak and a freak too but I let them have their space but it is so hard for me to not fresh up the place with fresh gardenias from the garden and replace towels and stuff but I have never been scolded because they know that Hotel rooms down the street start at about $500 a night! You meant well Pat2003 and let this be a learning lesson for you next time..no more of your husband's college roommates to visit.. |
My darling fiance suggested that perhaps Pat is going through her husband's stuff now and that's why we haven't heard from her. Silly men! ;)
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The expectation and knowledge of basic manners has changed considerably in the last 15 years. As had entitlement assumptions.
This thread is a prime example. Houseguests who are gentlewomen or gentlemen with manners do not use their room as they would a hotel. They are a guest and there are manners intrinsic to the word in this world culture, and every world culture. And they may be different in different countries. Many here don't understand the manners and responsibility that are required as a guest. It's wise that you do not accept being a houseguest. Nor would you do well in going to a small town where neighbors routinely enter and do work and favors for each other, some of which (like helping an older couple cut the grass or trimming a tree) are completely without conversation and just understood. No one even asks. Don't move there either. "No good deed goes unpunished." |
No JAGIRL, thousands of people could have been that house guest and felt unwelcome.
TxTravelPro, most everyone on this board remains anonymous. Please tell us what that perscription bottle was. You will find amazing real-life answers to your concerns on this board by the end of the day. Fodorites are from all walks of life and can give you the answers you need. |
TahitiTams~ your place sounds like my friend in Huntington Beach, lovely.
We solved any problems with guests. They are provided with a waterproof tent, warm sleeping bag and an air pistol to chase off wandering squirrels, moose, bear and other critters of the night. The brandy is for courage. J. |
As someone who has been a houseguest (and will be one this weekend), I consider myself just that: A GUEST. That means I need to be considerate of my host(ess) and roll with whatever their lifestyle may be. If the host is vegan, I eat what's in front of me. If the host likes to watch loud TV till 2 a.m., I put up with it. If the host wants to change my sheets every day and put flowers in my room, more power to them. None of this has ever happened, of course, I'm just giving examples. The point is--if I'm traveling but I have my own "needs" that don't match the home I'm staying in, I can book myself into a hotel. I do think it's a little quirky that Pat needed to freshen the sheets & flowers after a day, but it's her house and she can clean and freshen as she pleases. As a houseguest I'd appreciate it, not scold her or stake a claim on "my" room!
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