Every other day for hand towels
Every 3 days for bath towels
Weekly for bed linen

I put out a good supply of towels in the bathroom, then just collect the damp ones without (gasp) asking the guest's permission. :)

Good to hear your houseguest situation was resolved amicably.

I live in SE Virginia and in the warm months (9 of 12) I change towels every couple of days. It's got nothing to do with "being clean" when you get out of the shower but with the kinda funky thing that clings to a damp towel in a humid

whoops!

....climate. Hardly Stepford-ish. Just considerate.

Just came home from work and what a read.

Pat2003 - Your house guest was indeed very rude and had no right to scold you. Glad to hear that he did apologize and curious did he just apologize out of the blue or did your husband have something to do with it?

escargot - I like your approach and agree with having some sort of rules.

jetset1 - your remarks had me snorting my cup of tea.

I agree with those people who said it is your home and you should have the right to clean it as you wish. I plead guilty to having cleaned the guest bathroom while they were out and about. No one ever complained directly to me. I have never bothered to change the sheets but do offer where the clean ones are, extra blankets etc.

Sandy

Pat2003- my sincere compliments to you on starting what turned into a very fun thread. thanks for the laughs today! kindly, Suze

Pat I am so glad he apologized to you ! - Doesn't take the sting out of the initial scolding or that you were hurt until he apologized, but he did do the right thing....you may never know why he 'blew a gasket'....he somewhat redeemed himself in my mind by not only apologizing, but doing so in front of your husband -

Sorry it was something upsetting for you that started this thread, but it did end up being an interesting one !

We have a decent relationship, he's always been the odd one in a house of stronger personalities.
He is extremely good looking but has never had a girlfriend... but does not appear to be gay either. He is attracted to women.
I work in the travel industry... many of my best friends are gay. He knows this... no acceptance issues.
I really do not believe he is gay, even though I sound like I am trying to convince myself.
Anyway, the bottle was for Celexa and it was just sitting there... I only had to turn it to read the name.
He confounds us...

TxTravelPro...could the bottle have been left out so openly as invitation for you to "notice" then talk do you think? Or perhaps he's careless and thought you'd never be in there. I'm not sure how you'd now approach a discussion other than beating around a lot of bushes for a gentle touch and go trial run to see if you have a willing participant on the other end to talk with. Good luck. Family understanding can be critically important...

Wow, Pat. It was so rude of him to say that to you, especially in the tone of voice you described. Good thing he apologized.

I'm very sensitive and I think I might have started to cry if I were talked to that way.

Our house guest is coming Friday night for about 5 days and is sleeping on our couch (we have a one bd apt). He'd better not have a problem with us being in his space! ;)

Am I reading you wrong TxTravelPro: You're thinking the only concievable reason your son would be taking anti-deprssants/anti-anxiety prescription pills is because (you think) he might be gay? Tell me I'm wrong. Please.

TXtravelpro, Every family is different and all relationships within are different. In this case, it would be hard to let this pass without opening the door to conversation. You could tell your son why you were in the guest bathroom (straightening up, or whatever) and tell him that you happened to notice his prescription. You could let him know that you don't want to intrude, but that he should know you are there to listen, if he ever needs an ear, or to help.

I used to think that, when my kids turned 18, my job would be done. Now I know my job won't be done until I'm in my grave and sometimes I wonder if my kids won't hasten the day!

TxTravelpro: I am a mother too, daughter 24, son 21. I just hate it when we stumble across things but it happens.

Personally, on the one hand, as a mother, I would be glad he is on this med, whether for anti anxiety/depression - because to me it means he saw a physician to deal with whatever it is and was not embarassed or reluctant to take care of himself.

It means, to me, that you did your job right as a mother because he learned from you how to take care of himself and not let something go.
And that he is mature and capable enough, and not embarassed (as some unfortunately are) to not seek help for something - so many are apt to seek help for the broken bone but not anything to do with anxiety or panic attacks or depression and then that is when the real difficulties begin for them.

Your son has done the right thing.

I understand on the other hand, that as a mother, you likely wish you knew about it and would like to know why.

Our babies are adults, and will have some things they won't share with us, as they now navigate the real 'grown up' world. I think sometimes they spare us things for many reasons - privacy, reluctance to upset us or have us worry, blame ourselves, etc.

Being who I am, and I am by no means saying this is the right or wrong thing to do, - only you in your heart will know what is right for you and yours -
but it would be typical of me to either say or write a note that I happened to go into the guest bath for something and saw the medication and just want to let him know I am thankful he is addressing whatever the issue is, that I hope he is pleased with whatever physician he is working with, and that he should know, above all and always, that should be want to talk to me about it, I'm always there for him, not to judge, but to lend support or an ear should he want to talk about anything.

Then I would have to play it by ear, and perhaps if nothing was said, decide if at a later date, when we were alone and the time was right, just remind him gently again of the note I sent and although it is private business, if it's difficult to break the ice, as a mother I'd gladly take out my ice pick and get the conversation started if he needed me to.
And likely he'll either laugh, talk or say no mom, I'm okay.

But as I said, I would want to break the ice a little now, gently, just so he'd know I was open to anything.

Either way, I hope it all works out for you. Let it sit for awhile and mull it over. The answer will come to you as far as what works best for you in your heart.

Escargot, your thoughts conveyed in your post are the most beautiful and thoughtful I have ever read. And I say that as a mother and a grandmother. You have me rather teary eyed at the moment. Bless you!!

TxTRavelPro, I feel your pain. The early 20’s was really a tough time for me. You are a young adult , done with University and you feel like you should have all the answers and know what direction your life should be heading. But the reality is that some of us did not know and it was a very frightening time indeed.

Let me tell you how my mom handled my “depression”. Moms know when their children are going through something despite the façade that we show. One morning while I was getting ready, mom was hanging out in my dressing room - seemed odd to me as she had never done this before. When I was done, she came to me and gave me a hug and said “Your dad and I love you very much. Whether you are 2 or 50, you will always be our child and will love you, accept you and be here for you no matter what. Dad is having breakfast right now, why don’t we go down and join him.” I of course cried buckets and had to redo make-up! But what a relief it was to hear this from them! After we talked, everything just brightened up. They gave advice but the final decision was left to me. Just knowing you have your parents behind you gives you the strength to tackle anything.

Only you know your family and the best way to handle the situation. I hope that you find peace soon.

TxtravelPro, I think you have received some great advice. My only thought is whether this trip to visit you had been planned for some time or whether it was more spur of the moment? Was he visiting in hope that your family may be able to offer him more assistance and support, but was unable to say so? Good luck and best wishes.

esgargot said much of the gist of what I was going to post today, TxTravelPro.

It's endemic. I know, I work almost entirely with a population in their 20's.

I myself have a 26 year old son that seems joyful, is happily married, and the best support of his grandparents (one dying right now, one on the way) and he is similar.

Jobs, and other responsibilities, the way the high school and college years are structured now and the entitlements it all assumes- all of it. It just doesn't prepare most pysches for the reality of actual world experiences. My one guy too.

He'll be stronger- and don't baby him (even in your thoughts) or consider it anything but wisdom on his part to get all the positive he can. He's stronger and braver than many.

You've also gotten some good advice about talking. You don't need to focus on him, just be positive, share thoughts as much as possible that are active ones, and don't put him into a "special treatment" category because of it.

Believe me, it's about half. No kidding. It's not at all unusual and doesn't have to be about any specific issue.

And to Pat2003, I'm glad he apologized as well. But I would have a real sincere talk with my husband about guest arrangements, and this one wouldn't be back at my house.

Well, now we know what he was hiding in his room! He must be a closet Fodorite because he reconized himself in the 150 odd responses.

Wow, Pat, I am blown away that this happened to YOU! We still have one child at home full-time, but the others are in and out of our house quite often and still store a lot of their junk in their bedrooms (20s & college kids). Our guest room is always one of their bedrooms, and it'd be virtually impossible to offer absolute privacy to our guests at this point, and probably ANY point, in our lives. I have pie in the sky dreams of being a great hostess like you, but then again, with some of our family and friends, they might never leave if I treated them as well as you treat your guests! ;-)

Glad to hear he apologized. He may have apologized in FRONT of your husband because your husband mentioned to him that your feelings were hurt or something like that, but maybe it will save another hostess from such an outburst.

TxtravelPro, you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. We only THOUGHT it was difficult when they were babies. No one told us their reaching adulthood and going out on their own would be as tough as it is. Escargot offered great advice about attempting to talk to him about it. Other than that, the most any of us can do is offer them unconditional love and gentle support. That's all any of us really want anyway, isn't it, to know we are truly loved and valued? Good luck and God bless!

Sky - I came on this morning to post the same thing!

The thought came to me last night when I was thinking about the fact that the houseguest came and apologized after the fact.

Was thinking he might be posting (or at least lurking) amongst us.