I don't think $23k for 300+ people at disney is very expensive at all. (No I'm not rich either, just realisti) I heard on a radio show here in Chicago that the average wedding reception only in Chicago has around 150-200 people and costs $19,500. sounds like a lot to me but if thats the going rate, $23k for 300+ at disney doesn't sound so out of line. Besides that, $23k wouldn't be a downpayment on a home these days anyway. Here in the city most people require at least 15% (usually 20%) down. If you have a $200k home thats $40k that you need!

Well gee Beth, all the more reason to save that 23k and put it towards your downpayment then, don't you think?

If I don't have all the down payment at one time I might as well blow what I do have on the wedding!

I think proper etiquette and custom dictates that the bride's parents pay for the wedding or at least the bulk of it. In circles where I travel the couple usually saves together for the downpayment on the house as they are not using their money for the wedding. I also think its pretty common that if the grooms parents don't chip in on the cost of the wedding, they usually give a large cash "gift" to the couple equal to what their portion of wedding expense would be. This occurred in my case. My parents spent about $20,000 on wedding. I paid for my own dress and a few other things such as thank you gifts to parents an wedidng attendants equally about $5000. My in-laws gave us $10,000 and my husband and I had saved another $10,000. We spent $5000 on honeymoon and put $15,000 (inluding "gift") down on home! None of our families are even close to rich. My parents had saved for many years for college/wedding. Because I received scholarships to college, there was more wedding money, same for hubby!

Sorry Ms. Manners I disagree with you. IF the couple both have good jobs why stick the parents with the bill??? The practice of the bride's parents paying for the wedding is an outdated notion. Why should parents go in debt for a big fancy wedding especially when they have paid for part or all of their children's college education? IMO, children today are spoiled and handed everything on a silver platter while their parents do without. I have friends who actually took out 2nd mortgages or loans to finance big, splashy weddings sacrificing their security and retirement. AND, their childern will never pay them back and when the time comes shove them into a nursing home so they don't have to deal with them. I am a social worker working with elderly clients and I see this kind of garbage all the time. Parents sacrifice for their kids and when they need help the kids are no where to be found. It is really sad!

Ava parents who voluntarily take out a 2nd mortgage to finance a splashy wedding, possibly jeopardizing their financial future to please their spoiled children, are just plain stupid. Just tell the kids what the budget is and let them make up the difference if they want a bigger, fancier wedding.

I don't know where you live, but we got married in Eureka Springs, Arkansas at Thorncrown Chapel (check out website). Reception was at the Queen Anne Mansion. It was fairy tale. There is no waiting period in Arkansas. Our wedding was very tasteful and understated. We had a nice meal at the reception, but no dance, no band, and no alcohol. We had about 60 people and spent about $4000 for everything (dress, tux, pictures,videography, catering, cake, servers, motel,flowers, etc). Then we flew to Hawaii for a great honeymoon which cost more than the wedding. I still remember the details of the honeymoon, but I have trouble remembering the wedding. I would think twice before writing a big check for a wedding. There are lots of intimate little chapels around the country that would be great places for a wedding.

I just stumbled on this post and all I can say is....man, get a grip people.
Weddings with cartoon characters?
Bickering about mortgages to pay for weddings?
Spoiled, immature, misguided people with that oh so ugly American attitude of entitlement running throughout.

B stumbled? Were you drunk?

No, not drunk.
But reading some of this stuff provides just cause for second .

....for second thoughts!

My husband and I got married when we were 37 and 38, respectively. I was married once before (very young). My husband has a quite large but not-so-wealthy family, and they would have had to travel, and be put up in hotels, etc. So, we decided to give everyone a break and get married locally by the clerk of the court. Got a few cards, but nothing else. I know that weddings are not supposed to be money-making events, but we could have used some gifts or cash to help us out, especially since no one had to spend money getting to an out of town wedding. It seems like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

$20,000 for a damned wedding, Ms. Manners. The self-importance some women have to expect their folks to plunk down 20 grand for their "big day". Considering the 50 % divorce rate, I wonder why parents are so dumb to shell out that kind of dough.

To Poor, glad you're happy too. When couples expect gifts on the occasion of committing to one another for the rest of their life, they are setting themselves up for some obvious disappointment. When I married my huny I was so excited that people wanted to share this with me and traveled near and far to do it. Later I was embarrased by the extravagance bestowed upon me by these same people. I still find it odd that I got gifts at the very same time I got the best guy in the world, which I can still say almost 20 years later. Though my wedding was fairly modest my parents did pay for it. If I did it again I would do it smaller, more intimate and private and more cheaply. Unfortunately brides only have this point of view after the money has been spent. Oh well.

$20,000 is not that much for a wedding! I spent over $50,000. I was still in grad school at the time and was not employed so parents paid for wedding. My financee had just graduated law school and was studying for the bar exam so he was not employed at the time either. My father makes about $100,000/year but my mother is not employed. $100,000 for total household income in Cicinnati, where we live, is middle class. Our wedding was not terribly fancy, but just large. We had around 520 guests with a sitdown dinner. The only luxury item was my dress which cost over $5000 for the gown alone not including veil or other accessories. For you those of you who think that is excessive for a dress, it is, but it was a childhood dream gown. And by the way after the wedding I was able to sell the same designer dress having been worn once to a distant cousin for $3200 and she thought that was a bargain. Of course the money went back to may parents who paid for it in the first place.

Are we maturing in our lives enough if we are choosing a theme park to host a marriage ceremony? What are you going to do when you hit grown up problems in your marriage? Mickey and Minnie don't have all the answers you know.

If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to pay for your own wedding. Hubby and I paid for ours. Hubby and I also paid for our house.

Brides who expect others to pay for a lavish party are spoiled show-offs, IMHO. Especially if the bride and groom are educated professionals who will soon out-earn the bride's family.

And for the bride who had 520 guests and let her parents spend half a year's income on the party, she is just awful. I would never let my parents do that for me. It's outrageous. I would insist that they travel, buy a second home, buy fancy cars, do something else with the money. But spend it on me? No way! Heck, that money could go along way to the grandchild's educational expenses.

And $5000 on a dress? Learn to say no to your childish dreams, honey.

It amazes me how judgmental some people on this board are!!!!!!! Apparently "huh" believes you are terrible if you don't pay for your own wedding and furthermore thatI am spoiled for having 500+ people at my wedding. I never asked or expected my parents to plop down $50,000 for my wedding. As a matter of fact I knew my parents would be paying as I stated before I was still in shool full-time and worked a part-time job earning about $150/week which obviously only paid for things like gas, groercies, and entertainment (yeah right) Because they were paying, I had already decided that even though I would like a fancy wedding with about 200ppl, I would settle for the fancy dress and get married on the beach in Hawaii with just me and my fiancee. It was the parents who insisted on the huge wedding (520 is HUGE) as they wanted all extended family to attend, people from our church, co-workers of dad, neighbors, family friends, etc. etc. Since they were paying, I let them make the decision. I also hate it when people say "why spend so much money with the divorce rate so high?" Why even get married with that attitude!

It seems that certain themes recur frequently in threads and draw a wildly heated discussion. A couple of those themes center around children (behavior in steakhouses and on airplanes as well as whether or not parents should take them along on vacation). Another theme that draws diverse views is weddings (how much to spend, who will pay, where it should be) None of this bickering back and forth answers the posters questions. In this instance, the poster is wanting to know the cost of a disney wedding, can we just either answer his question or ignore the thread?

And "just an observer" you answered the question how? Just answer the question or ignore the thread? or what, police the postings?