We'll be going to NO in a few weeks and eating at some nice and some hip dressy casaul restaurants (Emeril's, Commander's, Mr B's, JacqueImos). We don't go to these sort of places much at home w/two young children (they'll be w/grandparents during our trip) and DH's daily wardrobe is shorts & tee shirts as he manages his family's car wash business.

Anyway, he's planning on going shopping to get some new clothes for the trip, but he usually doesn't do so well picking out things for himself (we managed to get out for an evening this week and I had to have him change after he dressed himself). He is in his mid 30's and physically fit, but has mentioned getting some things like you would see at the MTV Video awards - I really want to stear him in a more mature hip direction!!

What do you think? He has lots of button down Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger tops, but he wants to be more hip. His one sportscoat is your basic navy (very conservative). Please, help me give DH some pointers!!

snowrooster,
Nordstrom is having their 1/2 Yearly Sale for Men now and all you have to do is tell the salesperson what you are going to do and where you will be. Save some bucks while being attired in quality merchandise.

I don't trust the sales person's taste (we'd have to drive to Indianapolis for the closest Nordstrom). When he goes to the mall, it is the sales people who help him and suggest things, and he often comes home with things that aren't so great. I pointed out to him that 99% of the clothes he wears out are thing other people have bought him (myself and my mother as gifts) rather than things he has purchased himself, but he still wants to go shopping on his own.

I don't know if it is that sales people are leading him astray or they just agree to be nice with what he picks out himself!! If he comes home with another pair of shiny pleated pants I'm going to cry!!!

Let him wear his cowboy boots in Paris.

Oops! Sorry, different thread.

But, it WAS an interesting thread. Fodorites suggested the wife let the hubby wear whatever he wanted, he wore the cowboy boots in Paris, had no blisters and was not an embarrassment. In fact, the opposite - there were many Europeans wearing cowboy boots.

Just a novel idea but how about letting DH go shopping by himself, pick out what makes HIM smile and let him wear whatever he feels good in. Just a thought.

We can steer others, we can lead a horse to water, but we can't make him drink.

I agree with starrsville.

And in NO you will see everything anyway.
Similar to Vegas, IMO.

Have a great time!

That would work if he didn't always ask my opinion - he wants to look good (and not silly). What tends to happen is he comes home and tries on his outfits all excited and I don't have the heart to tell him it isn't really right (the pants are too dressy for the shirt, etc). He really wants to look stylish (it's not that he doesn't care) but has trouble picking out versatile age appropriate items. What would a hip 30something male wear to dressy or dressy casual restaurants nowadays?

BTW, I'm fine w/what he wears around as we wander the city during the day - he does fine w/casual shorts & shirts. It is just the evenings out that are more in question.

"I'm fine w/what he wears around as we wander the city during the day"

Snowrooster, I wish you could "hear" all of your postings on this thread. No matter which way you try to phrase it, your comments all say the same thing.

The problem is not the outfits your husband chooses - the problem is that those outfits aren't YOUR choice or taste.

But, this grown man STILL wants to go shopping on his own.

Could the reason he wears clothes that you picked out 99% of the time be because he doesn't want to hear your carping or criticizing him for his choices?

His daily wardrobe (shorts and tee shirts as he manages his family's car wash business) is not controversial because it's easy AND meets your approval.

But, heaven help him, even after going shopping, you being less than honest about his choices when he tries them on, the clothes hang in the closet later because you don't like them, etc. he STILLS wants to give it one more shot. GOOD FOR HIM!

Let him go shopping, pick out clothes, and wear them happily in NO. What's hard about that? Even is you think he looks like a fool, what does it really matter? Example - cowboy boots in Paris.

I hope he continues to ask your opinion, but I would have probably wimped out by now.

The right answer when a woman asks if the outfit makes her look fat? "Of course not, honey. You look great!".

The right answer when your hubby asks if the outfit is okay? "Of course, honey. You look great!".

Now, I'm sure this will draw fire, so I'll sign off and check the damage in a day or two.

Honestly, just sincere and candid input. Not designed to hurt, but let your grown man / hubby dress himself and enjoy your trip to NO.

How about going to your local bookstore and leafing through a copy of GQ, Details, even some of the Men's Fitness magainzes have fashion sections.

If your partner asks you if you like his/her outfit and you choose to lie to make them happy, that is your call. However I expect DH to tell me the truth and I do the same for him. We both exercise regularly and like looking good. He showed up to a wedding I was in once with a navy sportcoat and black pants - believe me, he would have preferred I had seen him ahead of time and advised him to change.

Everyone is welcome to their opinion regarding whether you should influence your spouses dress, but that's not what I'm asking. My dh is quite vain and likes looking good - he asks for my opinion and I'm honest with him. I just looking for pointers on how to help him as I know women's fashion far better than men's.

I thought about getting GQ. Does it have practical outfits - I was worried it would be more Versace-like.

I remember when my husband's daily wardrobe went from starched white shirt, dark suit and conservative tie to business casual -- it nearly killed him, LOL! He didn't know what to do with himself because his "uniform" was so predictable and now he was treading in uncharted waters.

It really took a while for him to find a "style" -- business casual, that term, means so many different things and his company is still ultra-conservative. I found that I needed to shop with him at first (he didn't mind) and now he is more than capable of doing it himself. Every now and again he'll need to make a return, but he's catching on.

If you are going to NO in the summer, remember it is hot. And I'm not really sure what "hip" is nowadays but my husband has some really nice silk trousers that he wears with his RL shirts and a sports coat (but usually he wears the jacket into the event and then takes it off).

I think you should make a special day of shopping for just the two of you. Pick out things together - of course expect some compromises - and have a good time! Good luck

"He showed up to a wedding I was in once with a navy sportcoat and black pants - believe me, he would have preferred I had seen him ahead of time and advised him to change."

You know snowrooster, perhaps he is color blind. I am serious. I know two men who have this problem and their wives must preview them (or lay out appropriate accessories) before they go out the door.

I would be horrified if I asked my husband how I looked in an outfit and he lied to me and said I looked great, even if I didn't. I expect him to be truthful. I would do the same for him.

Is there a more summer casual version of the navy sportscoat? Something in khaki cotton? I hate linen since it wrinkles so easily.

When I met dh in college, he was wearing spandex bicycle shorts around campus - ugh! He's come a long way since then but still asks for my help - he was trying to describe a look he'd seen to me this morning (solid colored bright shirt w/big collar?). I want to be honest and he wants to look good - I'm not going to lie to him (that's not how we are).

BTW, I work out daily and eat right so that I am in shape. If an outfit makes me look heavy (even though I'm not), I want to know it. Maybe some people prefer to be lied to, but I don't.

A year ago dh and I managed to go shopping together and there was a pink sundress I absolutely loved and was ready to buy. He told me it was too tight across my chest. I wasn't thrilled to hear this, but I'm glad I did - I found another pink sundress later that I absolutely love! To suggest that lying is always the best course of action is absurd - unless you never really look good and need to lie just to make each other feel better.

I suppose I'll get flamed for that last comment, but that's okay. I didn't start this debate, I just asked for male fashion advice!!

Fine. I misunderstood. Your current process is working perfectly for both of you. Sorry I didn't get that impression in your first three posts. I retract EVERYTHING I said.

Dress for hot muggy weather.

It's just like when you go to the hair sylist and show a picture of a particular hair style -- it somehow never turns out looking exactly like the picture. The same can be said for fashion magazines, etc. The vision is never the same as reality.

Perfection is a high standard to live by.

My guess is you will go to all of these hip places and your husband will fit in just fine.

Linen is in -- big time. Linen pants, and an untucked linen shirt with snazzy shoes is this summer's look. You will also find that no jackets are required. Dress for the climate

Have a good time!!!

My daughters, who have friends from NO, and my brother, who lives there, all said to get nice khaki pants and either a casual sport shirt, polo shirt, etc for the places that don't require a tie, and pastel dress shirt, tie - perhaps one that reflects his sense of humor or the area - such as a Tabasco tie, etc for the dressier spots. Just have fun and stay cool!!

PS Just don't wear socks with your sandals!!!Try leather top-siders.

ausc59 - I'm going to have show dh your post - that is what he normally wears (khakis w/nice button down or polo) but he thinks the look is dated.

I'm pretty sure he'll need a jacket at Commander's Palace, no?

Since he will need several new shirts and he doesn't wear them that often, I would recommend a conservative approach. He'll be wearing them for 5 years or so, right? And that will make him fortyish - which may be a whole separate issue.

See what he already owns that has potential. Maybe they could be upgraded with the right companion piece. Next, consider the difficulties of the climate. My husband travels a lot to conventions, wearing dressy casual clothes. In hot climates, silk or linen knit oversized polos work well, as do rayon camp shirts. If you get them in classic colors and small patterns, they can be worn for many years. The quality should be evident in the fabric and cut of the shirt. In a climate like New Orleans', plan on his using two shirts every day.

For pants, look for tropical weight wool or high quality cotton or linen-poly blends. Nautica has great all-cotton pants that seem to never wrinkle, but I can't always find them.

I don't think he'll need a dinner jacket, but if he does, I'd go with black, lightweight blend that looks like linen, but doesn't wrinkle. It instantly dresses up khaki and other summer pants.