I apologize if my post has caused any controversy. To clarify a few things... Our registries will be posted on our website. There will be no mention of them in the invitation, I agree that that would be tacky. In defense of gift registries, I have already had over five seperate friends/relatives ask where I am planning to register and that my mom should let them know as soon as we have registered ( our wedding is still almost a year away so we have not done this yet). I appreciate that people want to get us something we really want or can use. I do consider these to be gifts from the heart. This is not a matter of an inability to afford the honeymoon, but several of his relatives have already expressed a desire to contribute to the honeymoon specifically, and not wanting to have them feel their contribution is not enough or that they have to give more than they would like for us to be happy with the honeymoon, I thought this would be a great way to make everyone happy. We will also be registering at Target for those who prefer to give a more tangible gift.

While I appreciate all of the comments, I am hoping to receive some feedback regarding the travel related portion of my post. Is 9% too much? Does anyone know of a site that will provide a registry without the fee?

Thank you all!!

Hello deannagld, I have read this thread with interest and just finished reading your last post.

First of all registring for wedding presents has been around for decades.

Second of all I come from a background that at Italian weddings the wedding gift is given but also cash is given at the reception to the groom for the honeymoon. All done with love and respect.

My biggest complaint is the lack of thank you notes from the wedding couple. Thankfully it is not something I have had happen when family or close friends that are like family have married but I have had times with others that no acknowledgement has ever been made. And I know many people who have had this insult with family and close friends that have gotten married. So just a gentle reminder to (and I am sure you will) get those thank you notes out within a reasonable time. And make the thank you note personal for each person that you write to.

About a 9% fee for registering for an on-line honeymoon. I don't like that. As a bride and groom I would not like it. As a giver of the wedding present I would not like it.

IMO I would register with a trusted travel agent or have your family members mention that a gift toward your honeymooon would be appreciated and leave it at that, if they are asked by family or close friends of course.

I over the past years have given a check to younger family members with a letter stating that the check was for their honeymoon. All of them have expressed their pleasure with this.

Regarding friends, or friends of children. Unless we are really close I personally don't feel a check is what I want to do. Just my thought.

Years ago, my mother received a wedding invitation that had full registry information on it. In the past few years, I've had relatives send out wedding invitations that stated "Wishing Well Reception at XYZ Place". I thought both were tacky. OTOH, I don't mind wedding registers in and of themselves. Personally, I prefer buying the bride and groom something from their own list, regardless of how well I know them. On the other, other hand, I'll be honest, and admit I probably wouldn't purchase anything from a honeymoon registry. Don't know why, just don't think I would do it. But as long as it's not listed on the invitation, I wouldn't find it tacky.

I wouldn't pay a fee for any type of wedding gift.

Hooray, LoveItaly, for mentioning thank you notes. I am beginning to think that is not even considered. One couple received two sets of their crystal and a luncheon from us...not a word of thanks, even though we flew over 1000 miles to attend. Another couple to whom we gave two sets of their china (two four place setting sets) never said a word. I think that's a whole lot tackier than registries! Frankly I get invited to weddings, graduations, etc of folks I hardly know. Usually I know the parents and I haven't a clue what the couple wants. Registries solve the mystery.

E. Post would be rolling over in her grave if she read this thread. How manners have changed in less than a century. Entitlement??????

Registries are considered fine for showers/weddings but never on the wedding invitation.

In the midwest very large weddings are common and thank you notes for all gifts are still absolutely required for the minimum of grace or manners. One shower I just attended last Sunday, had you "fill" out a self-addressed envelope as part of a "game." I just smiled, but you should have heard some of the comments. Wow, talk about tacky!

I just had to post here. I had a work acquaintance send me a wedding invitation with full registry info on it and she had purposely registered for the most expensive stuff she could find. At the bottom of the invitation, the reception info said "CASH BAR". If you're going to grub for pricey gifts (not her first wedding either), then swing for the booze.

To the original poster, I think this is a judgement call for you based on the people you will be inviting to your wedding. A bunch of hard traditionalists might take offense to a honeymoon registry, whereas friends and others your age will not. Consider your invitees. I don't know about the 9% fee though, that's high. Travellers checks would be useful on a honeymoon and there's not a 9% fee for that. Just a thought.

I didn't know people sent wedding invitations with a "minimum gift value" suggested. Holy excrement! Registries or not, people should pick out gifts from the heart, within their budget. Period, doesn't matter how much the chicken dinner at the reception costs.

Ugh! Droolpatrol just reminded me of more tacky shower/wedding stories. I've known people invited to wedding showers held in restaurants only to be presented A BILL for what they ate. Then there's a friend whose own brother charged everyone for food eaten at his wedding reception. This came as quite a surprise to the invited guests.

I think I need to stay away from this trend for fear more Bad Wedding Behavior Tales buried deep in my memory resurface.

Hi everyone! In the past ten years I too have been at showers where all the guest were handed an envelope so they could address it to themselves. And when the "thank you" card arrived it was a printed card with just the signature of the bride to be. Not one personal word on it. Hard to believe how manners have gone down the tube in some cases.

I now do as some others do. When I get a graduation announcement or whatever from a person I really don't know (received only because I sort of know their parents ) I buy a nice card, write a personal note and mail that.

And one other rule I have now regarding anyone I send a present to is this. No acknowledgement, no more presents. I truly believe if a person can take the time to think about what the other person would like, take the time to shop for it, wrap it, buy a card to enclose and then pay the shipping cost and the receiver cannot take five minutes to write a thank you or make a phone call to let on know they received the gift and to thank them then I can't be bothered to spend the money and time in the future either.

I cannot stand to get a thank you note with the words 'thank you' on the front.

Whomever sends the card is supposed to say the thank you. The only thing on the front of the note card should be your name or initials.

When people are being made to address envelopes back to themselves (oh brother!), I find it interesting it would matter to you what was on the front of the card!

I am quite old fashioned when it comes to things like this, so keep that in mind, lol! I personally would not register for a honeymoon. My thoughts are that a wedding registry for gifts (such as through a dept. store) are to help a couple set up their home. We have given both objects as well as checks for wedding gifts. It just depends on each couples situation and what they "need". If we give a check and the couple chooses to put it toward their honeymoon, I would be fine with that. A honeymoon registry though just does not sit well with me, and to have a percentage of the gift taken out would bother me even more. All of this is just my opinion though, so take it for that, nothing more.

Along the lines of thank you's for gifts, before our own wedding I heard an interesting tidbit. A coworkers son got married, and his mother held all the gifts until the couple sent out their thank you's. I thought that was a bit much, but we did our own take on that. We told ourselves that we would not use any gift until all the thank you's were mailed. We have over 250 people at our wedding, and with that incentive (as well as just good manners) we had all the thank you's in the mail within 2 weeks of returning from our honeymoon. It was nice to get them done fast, and of course then we felt no guilt and enjoyed using the gifts.

Deannagld:

"9%(of the total gifts) fee unless we book through them"

This is a rip off. If they were that good of a travel agency, they wouldn't have to hold a good portion of your gift hostage so you'd use them. They will probabaly be more expensive, too. Travel agents don't generally charge a fee for their services, and stores with registries don't charge either. I agree with Suze above, and think you should use a reputable and recommended local TA, instead an unknown internet schister!
Best wishes!

The thank you printed on the front of the card has always bothered me.

GoTravel, no differecence between a toaster and a portion of a honeymoon. I agree. However, the poster said she has TWO registries. the gift registry is at Target. After I register my gift at Target I don't want to be approched for Another gift registery for a honeymoon. From the original post it is clear that the honeymoon registry is an additional registery which is not the gift registery.

Yes, jor, but people aren't required to give from both lists. A registry is just gift suggestions and ideas. I think the original purpose was to tell others in a discreet and polite way which "patterns" you had chosen for your flatware, stemware, china. So what if it has grown to include whether or not you need a toaster, or if you you'd like dinner in Venice or snorkeling on Virgin Gorda. You still give whatever you want, whether it's $20 in a card, or some glass knick-knack you think the couple would like, or something off the registry.