Fears over Safety - Should we Worry?
Jul 26th, 1999, 04:40 PM
#1
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Fears over Safety - Should we Worry?
This will be my third posting to this excellent site based around my forthcoming six month tour of the USA. I am extremely excited at the prospect of seeing some of the wonderful sights and meeting some fantastic and interesting people. I have always been of the impression that American citizens are outgoing, warm, friendly and optimistic. I adore optimism and I cannot stand the doom and gloom merchants in the UK who are always spouting off about poverty, the weather and jobs etc etc. Lots of people I know at work, mostly respectable professionals such as Surgeons, Doctors, Dentists etc love your country and tell me that I am incredibly lucky to be going. A view which I share with them wholeheartedly.
However, my friend who will be travelling with me is being constantly harrassed by his parents about the dangers and crime in America and as such are trying to persuade him not to go. (I think it's more of a mother son thing at work here.) I am forever telling them that London is just as dangerous and we don't think twice about walking alone at night through the streets. I guess it's what you know and what you are used to. I have informed my friend, who I have to say, is as excited as I am about going, that I will still go alone if he is unsure, and that he dosn't have to feel inclined to go because we have planned this for a long time.
I am a realist and I know that crime, violence and worse can and does occur all over the world. I know that some of the TV shows we get over here can sometimes portray the US as an incredibly violent and dangerous place to be, and I think this results in peoples opinions being formed about a place. Believe me, I am beside myself with anticipation about what new and wonderful experiences await me, but I am afraid that my travel companion could be swayed into staying at home because of his mother. Not only do I want him to have experienced this trip for his own development, but I really don't fancy spending 6 months away without a companion.
I guess you could be forgiven for telling him to stay in the UK as this is probably quite a rude posting to make, I know how proud people can be towards their countries, I am the same. However, it would be really useful if anyone had any tips on how to tackle a bad influence such as my friends mother!! Any useful information on were not to go, what not to do etc etc may be helpful.
Believe me, I have the utmost repect for your country and the people within it. I just don't want this trip which I have sacrificed a senior job, a car and a dog for, to diminish just because someone is worried to death about the safety of her only son!!
However, my friend who will be travelling with me is being constantly harrassed by his parents about the dangers and crime in America and as such are trying to persuade him not to go. (I think it's more of a mother son thing at work here.) I am forever telling them that London is just as dangerous and we don't think twice about walking alone at night through the streets. I guess it's what you know and what you are used to. I have informed my friend, who I have to say, is as excited as I am about going, that I will still go alone if he is unsure, and that he dosn't have to feel inclined to go because we have planned this for a long time.
I am a realist and I know that crime, violence and worse can and does occur all over the world. I know that some of the TV shows we get over here can sometimes portray the US as an incredibly violent and dangerous place to be, and I think this results in peoples opinions being formed about a place. Believe me, I am beside myself with anticipation about what new and wonderful experiences await me, but I am afraid that my travel companion could be swayed into staying at home because of his mother. Not only do I want him to have experienced this trip for his own development, but I really don't fancy spending 6 months away without a companion.
I guess you could be forgiven for telling him to stay in the UK as this is probably quite a rude posting to make, I know how proud people can be towards their countries, I am the same. However, it would be really useful if anyone had any tips on how to tackle a bad influence such as my friends mother!! Any useful information on were not to go, what not to do etc etc may be helpful.
Believe me, I have the utmost repect for your country and the people within it. I just don't want this trip which I have sacrificed a senior job, a car and a dog for, to diminish just because someone is worried to death about the safety of her only son!!
Jul 26th, 1999, 05:34 PM
#2
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Best bet is to read the "Safety" section in a tour guide or two for the destinations you plan to visit. Be sure to take the recommendations and advice "literally" (you often have to read between the lines, as do we when visiting Europe). You're not likely to encounter any problems, but it's best to take obvious precautions and use common sense.
Jul 26th, 1999, 05:37 PM
#3
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Jason, there are no axe murderers waiting to get you in the U.S. just as there are none in London waiting to get me! In all big cities one must be cautious and aware of one's surroundings. If you are in doubt as to the location of your hotels or destinations, post them here and we will be happy to caution you or actually discourage you from visiting in that area. There are some very dangerous places in the U.S., it's true, but they certainly are not the places you, as a tourist, would be likely to go or stay. I think you are fairly young, and if you are cautious, you will have a wonderful trip with your friend, to the U.S. Enjoy.
Jul 26th, 1999, 06:52 PM
#4
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The most dangerous part of your trip will be....getting from your home to the airport. Seriously, use the common sense that allows you to cope with life where you are now. Stick with the crowds. Keep valuables tucked away. Don't go wandering on your own in dark places. Stay completely away from the drug scene. Never become intoxicated in public. Don't stand on street corners looking at maps. Keep things locked. Have fun.
Jul 26th, 1999, 06:57 PM
#5
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Jason, When we got the chance to go to Costa Rica for 7 weeks & then Colombia for 4 weeks, our friends were more worried about us & our safety than we were-and we are both in our 60's! The best advice we got was to: NOT flash money around and have it visible, NOT wear expensive jewelry & clothes; NOT go out at night alone in unknown areas, get taxi's from the hotel or restaurant. (in those 2 countries there are "legal" & "non legal" taxi cabs). Ask at your hotel where you should avoid--or, as was suggested here, ask us.
When are you coming, and where will you be traveling to? Maybe, it would be possible to meet with some of us! That would be great for both sides--and any ages! Have a great trip and keep us posted.
When are you coming, and where will you be traveling to? Maybe, it would be possible to meet with some of us! That would be great for both sides--and any ages! Have a great trip and keep us posted.
Jul 26th, 1999, 09:07 PM
#6
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Hi, Jason,
These are good questions, hard to answer but deserving a thoughtful reply. While I'm sure the vast majority of readers of this site will encourage your friend to travel with you (as do I) his mother's anxieties are understandable if a little overstated. The media DO make the US seem to be a dangerous place, and as one with some familiarity with a parent's psyche as well as with his mum's not-unusual British take on the US, I wouldn't dismiss your friend's mother too quickly. (It's actually a fairly timely point to me since our son announced this weekend that he's off in a couple of weeks to rural Thailand as his first independent overseas journey, albeit with an experienced friend. Gulp.)
Your friend's mother risked his injury while he learned to walk, to get to school or ride the bus on his own, drive a car (if he does) and on countless other occasions. As parents we sweat these events, then celebrate with our children when they're accomplished.
How to address these fears? A couple of suggestions.
First, plan, plan, plan. Let her know where you're going, when you'll likely get there, what sort of places will you stay at, etc., etc. The best antidote for fear is information - ask any surgeon. Show her that you're level headed and know what's in store for you. This doesn't have to reduce your ability to be spontaneous; in fact, it may help you two also because it will force you to know more about the places you're planning to visit.
Second, promise and FOLLOW THROUGH with phone calls, lots of phone calls. Phone cards are cheap and plentiful in the US and the rates are low. Call every other day or some such, and eventually she will get the picture that your friend cares about her and her concerns.
And finally, take heed of this forum and just exercise common sense. I personally have never felt threatened in the US as a tourist, hassled sometimes, yes, but not threatened. Frankly, I've been in London tube stations or parts of other large cities in the UK at times when my skin crawled. Nothing happened there, either.
These are good questions, hard to answer but deserving a thoughtful reply. While I'm sure the vast majority of readers of this site will encourage your friend to travel with you (as do I) his mother's anxieties are understandable if a little overstated. The media DO make the US seem to be a dangerous place, and as one with some familiarity with a parent's psyche as well as with his mum's not-unusual British take on the US, I wouldn't dismiss your friend's mother too quickly. (It's actually a fairly timely point to me since our son announced this weekend that he's off in a couple of weeks to rural Thailand as his first independent overseas journey, albeit with an experienced friend. Gulp.)
Your friend's mother risked his injury while he learned to walk, to get to school or ride the bus on his own, drive a car (if he does) and on countless other occasions. As parents we sweat these events, then celebrate with our children when they're accomplished.
How to address these fears? A couple of suggestions.
First, plan, plan, plan. Let her know where you're going, when you'll likely get there, what sort of places will you stay at, etc., etc. The best antidote for fear is information - ask any surgeon. Show her that you're level headed and know what's in store for you. This doesn't have to reduce your ability to be spontaneous; in fact, it may help you two also because it will force you to know more about the places you're planning to visit.
Second, promise and FOLLOW THROUGH with phone calls, lots of phone calls. Phone cards are cheap and plentiful in the US and the rates are low. Call every other day or some such, and eventually she will get the picture that your friend cares about her and her concerns.
And finally, take heed of this forum and just exercise common sense. I personally have never felt threatened in the US as a tourist, hassled sometimes, yes, but not threatened. Frankly, I've been in London tube stations or parts of other large cities in the UK at times when my skin crawled. Nothing happened there, either.
Jul 26th, 1999, 09:18 PM
#7
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Posts: n/a
Hi, Jason,
These are good questions, hard to answer but deserving a thoughtful reply. While I'm sure the vast majority of readers of this site will encourage your friend to travel with you (as do I) his mother's anxieties are understandable if a little overstated. The media DO make the US seem to be a dangerous place, and as one with some familiarity with a parent's psyche as well as with his mum's not-unusual British take on the US, I wouldn't dismiss your friend's mother too quickly. (It's actually a fairly timely point to me since our son announced this weekend that he's off in a couple of weeks to rural Thailand as his first independent overseas journey, albeit with an experienced friend. Gulp.)
Your friend's mother risked his injury while he learned to walk, to get to school or ride the bus on his own, drive a car (if he does) and on countless other occasions. As parents we sweat these events, then celebrate with our children when they're accomplished.
How to address these fears? A couple of suggestions.
First, plan, plan, plan. Let her know where you're going, when you'll likely get there, what sort of places will you stay at, etc., etc. The best antidote for fear is information - ask any surgeon. Show her that you're level headed and know what's in store for you. This doesn't have to reduce your ability to be spontaneous; in fact, it may help you two also because it will force you to know more about the places you're planning to visit.
Second, promise and FOLLOW THROUGH with phone calls, lots of phone calls. Phone cards are cheap and plentiful in the US and the rates are low. Call every other day or some such, and eventually she will get the picture that your friend cares about her and her concerns.
And finally, take heed of this forum and just exercise common sense. I personally have never felt threatened in the US as a tourist, hassled sometimes, yes, but not threatened. Frankly, I've been in London tube stations or parts of other large cities in the UK at times when my skin crawled. Nothing happened there, either.
Most people in the US love to meet and show around overseas visitors; it can sometimes actually become a nuisance. Your safety is probably less an issue than your patience as yet another booster tries to convince you that his/her patch of North America is hallowed ground. Of course they all are.
Of course there’s another option – take Mum along... (Just kidding)
These are good questions, hard to answer but deserving a thoughtful reply. While I'm sure the vast majority of readers of this site will encourage your friend to travel with you (as do I) his mother's anxieties are understandable if a little overstated. The media DO make the US seem to be a dangerous place, and as one with some familiarity with a parent's psyche as well as with his mum's not-unusual British take on the US, I wouldn't dismiss your friend's mother too quickly. (It's actually a fairly timely point to me since our son announced this weekend that he's off in a couple of weeks to rural Thailand as his first independent overseas journey, albeit with an experienced friend. Gulp.)
Your friend's mother risked his injury while he learned to walk, to get to school or ride the bus on his own, drive a car (if he does) and on countless other occasions. As parents we sweat these events, then celebrate with our children when they're accomplished.
How to address these fears? A couple of suggestions.
First, plan, plan, plan. Let her know where you're going, when you'll likely get there, what sort of places will you stay at, etc., etc. The best antidote for fear is information - ask any surgeon. Show her that you're level headed and know what's in store for you. This doesn't have to reduce your ability to be spontaneous; in fact, it may help you two also because it will force you to know more about the places you're planning to visit.
Second, promise and FOLLOW THROUGH with phone calls, lots of phone calls. Phone cards are cheap and plentiful in the US and the rates are low. Call every other day or some such, and eventually she will get the picture that your friend cares about her and her concerns.
And finally, take heed of this forum and just exercise common sense. I personally have never felt threatened in the US as a tourist, hassled sometimes, yes, but not threatened. Frankly, I've been in London tube stations or parts of other large cities in the UK at times when my skin crawled. Nothing happened there, either.
Most people in the US love to meet and show around overseas visitors; it can sometimes actually become a nuisance. Your safety is probably less an issue than your patience as yet another booster tries to convince you that his/her patch of North America is hallowed ground. Of course they all are.
Of course there’s another option – take Mum along... (Just kidding)
Jul 26th, 1999, 10:07 PM
#9
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I wouldn't worry too much about safety in the US. Yes, there is crime like anywhere else in the world. This is a very large and diverse nation so you will find areas that are very dangerous but he majority of the US is just as safe if not safer than anywhere else in the world. Actually our crime rate has dropped for the last eight years in a row now. Some areas are now safer than they were 30 years ago.
However it is always prudent to exercise some caution no matter where you may be. Do not venture into areas that you are not familiar with without asking beforehand. All in all you should have a wonderful vacation and welcome to the USA.
However it is always prudent to exercise some caution no matter where you may be. Do not venture into areas that you are not familiar with without asking beforehand. All in all you should have a wonderful vacation and welcome to the USA.
Jul 27th, 1999, 05:29 AM
#10
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John hit the nail on the head. The media have over-exaggerated the violence problem in America.
The media measure their success on one factor: viewership or readership. And what's going to catch more viewers' (readers') interest? A lead story (headline) stating "New Park Dedicated Today" or "Seven Slaughtered in School House Massacre"? You'd be amazed how long such a story will be the lead story on the "local" news - sometimes for a whole week - even when it happened 2000 miles away!
Cal is also correct that violent crime has been declining recently.
Come to the USA without worry. I see no reason why 2 men travelling together should have any problems. In fact, I would bet that you are at far greater risk of becoming a victim of a car accident than a violent crime (but there's no need to mention that possibility to dear old mum).
The media measure their success on one factor: viewership or readership. And what's going to catch more viewers' (readers') interest? A lead story (headline) stating "New Park Dedicated Today" or "Seven Slaughtered in School House Massacre"? You'd be amazed how long such a story will be the lead story on the "local" news - sometimes for a whole week - even when it happened 2000 miles away!
Cal is also correct that violent crime has been declining recently.
Come to the USA without worry. I see no reason why 2 men travelling together should have any problems. In fact, I would bet that you are at far greater risk of becoming a victim of a car accident than a violent crime (but there's no need to mention that possibility to dear old mum).
Jul 27th, 1999, 06:43 AM
#11
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First of all, knowing exactly where you intend to go really is relevant. Six months is a long time, but one basic issue is city vs. countryside and another is auto vs. train or plane. Why not provide us with a general sense of your itinerary and arrangements?
Second, comments about media-created perceptions are also very relevant. Scholars here have documented a direct correlation between # of hours watching TV and perceptions of a dangerous world. Since we export the most violent of our media products heavily, it's no wonder those outside of the US think it's uniformly wild and wooly here. Boston and New York are excellent examples of cities with much reduced crime rates, but you wouldn't know it from the media.
Third, remember that Americans themselves tend to the cautious -- barricading ourselves with warnings and advisories about darn near anything. One of the more disorienting things for us when traveling overseas is the absence of such concern re
afety and health -- from the tolerance of smoking to the absence of safeguards on various vehicles, amusement rides, playground equipment, etc. So when you read our admonitions to each other on these forums, bear that in mind.
Finally, why not consider seriously some of our offers to get together? It makes a huge difference in your appreciation and understanding of the areas, and will give you reliable guidance.
Second, comments about media-created perceptions are also very relevant. Scholars here have documented a direct correlation between # of hours watching TV and perceptions of a dangerous world. Since we export the most violent of our media products heavily, it's no wonder those outside of the US think it's uniformly wild and wooly here. Boston and New York are excellent examples of cities with much reduced crime rates, but you wouldn't know it from the media.
Third, remember that Americans themselves tend to the cautious -- barricading ourselves with warnings and advisories about darn near anything. One of the more disorienting things for us when traveling overseas is the absence of such concern re
afety and health -- from the tolerance of smoking to the absence of safeguards on various vehicles, amusement rides, playground equipment, etc. So when you read our admonitions to each other on these forums, bear that in mind. Finally, why not consider seriously some of our offers to get together? It makes a huge difference in your appreciation and understanding of the areas, and will give you reliable guidance.
Jul 27th, 1999, 08:39 AM
#12
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Hi Jason,
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful trip to the U.S., and as John says, don't be too hard on your friend's mother! You see, somehow we think if we worry hard enough, it will keep our children safe, right, girls?
When you're in our big cities at night, stay in well-lighted areas with plenty of other people, and if you're driving and pull into a highway rest stop at night, and there's no one else around, I would continue on to find a service station/convenience store that's open, and do my resting there. Also, don't stay in very low-cost motels/hotels in the big cities - you're better off in accommodations towards or in the suburbs. And I wouldn't ride the subways later at night in the big cities.
Mainly, just use your good common sense as you would at home, and I'm sure you'll be fine. Have a wonderful trip -hope your friend sticks with you, but do call home frequently! It warms your parents' hearts!
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful trip to the U.S., and as John says, don't be too hard on your friend's mother! You see, somehow we think if we worry hard enough, it will keep our children safe, right, girls?
When you're in our big cities at night, stay in well-lighted areas with plenty of other people, and if you're driving and pull into a highway rest stop at night, and there's no one else around, I would continue on to find a service station/convenience store that's open, and do my resting there. Also, don't stay in very low-cost motels/hotels in the big cities - you're better off in accommodations towards or in the suburbs. And I wouldn't ride the subways later at night in the big cities.
Mainly, just use your good common sense as you would at home, and I'm sure you'll be fine. Have a wonderful trip -hope your friend sticks with you, but do call home frequently! It warms your parents' hearts!
Jul 27th, 1999, 11:31 AM
#13
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Jason,
Please post your tentative schedule here and and I am sure you will get lots of great advice as to specific areas to avoid or not, and places you might want to add. A six-month vacation sounds fantastic, that is plenty of time to see many many sights. Let us know if you are planning on renting a car as well. As everyone has told you if you just use common sense and don't go anyplace that you would have doubts about going to at home you will be fine.
Frankly, I've read some posts about European cities that would scare anyone to death, turns out when we've visited these places we encountered no problems. A lot of it is awareness of your surroundings and simply using common sense. You do sound young and may not want to stick to a set schedule of any sort which is fine, but if you stay in contact with your families in the UK (particularly your friend) it would be better. Some things I would not do (no matter what country I was in) would be show too much money at any one time, stop in lonely/deserted rest areas along the highways (get off and go to McDonald's!),and stay in questionable neighborhoods to save money. You will find that most Americans are very nice people and willing to help you if you have questions, get lost etc., but I also found that of most Europeans as well. We had a flat tire near Guildford,UK one time, and this women came to our "rescue" and helped us change the tire, insisted we use her telephone to call our hotel and then had us follow her to a tire repair place so that we could get the tire fixed. Most people are helpful we've found no matter where they are.
As other posters mentioned crime in the U.S. gets a lot of publicity, the worse the crime the more media attention. Good news rarely gets much attention I'm sorry to say.
Remember when planning your trip that the climate in the U.S. varies greatly so if this trip is planned for winter you can encounter bad weather in many areas. I live in the southwest where winters are mild and I've lived in Southern CA. where it is mild as well, but you have to factor in bad weather and delays in traveling if you are coming during the winter.
I hope you truly have a wonderful time and if there is anything you'd like to know about Arizona (or southern CA) please let me know.
Please post your tentative schedule here and and I am sure you will get lots of great advice as to specific areas to avoid or not, and places you might want to add. A six-month vacation sounds fantastic, that is plenty of time to see many many sights. Let us know if you are planning on renting a car as well. As everyone has told you if you just use common sense and don't go anyplace that you would have doubts about going to at home you will be fine.
Frankly, I've read some posts about European cities that would scare anyone to death, turns out when we've visited these places we encountered no problems. A lot of it is awareness of your surroundings and simply using common sense. You do sound young and may not want to stick to a set schedule of any sort which is fine, but if you stay in contact with your families in the UK (particularly your friend) it would be better. Some things I would not do (no matter what country I was in) would be show too much money at any one time, stop in lonely/deserted rest areas along the highways (get off and go to McDonald's!),and stay in questionable neighborhoods to save money. You will find that most Americans are very nice people and willing to help you if you have questions, get lost etc., but I also found that of most Europeans as well. We had a flat tire near Guildford,UK one time, and this women came to our "rescue" and helped us change the tire, insisted we use her telephone to call our hotel and then had us follow her to a tire repair place so that we could get the tire fixed. Most people are helpful we've found no matter where they are.
As other posters mentioned crime in the U.S. gets a lot of publicity, the worse the crime the more media attention. Good news rarely gets much attention I'm sorry to say.
Remember when planning your trip that the climate in the U.S. varies greatly so if this trip is planned for winter you can encounter bad weather in many areas. I live in the southwest where winters are mild and I've lived in Southern CA. where it is mild as well, but you have to factor in bad weather and delays in traveling if you are coming during the winter.
I hope you truly have a wonderful time and if there is anything you'd like to know about Arizona (or southern CA) please let me know.
