Can relate Rog. Hate to fly (has nothing to do with 9/11), but love to travel! Used to try OTC sleeping pills. But those didn't work. Just in May finally had my doctor write me a prescription for just a few valium (.5mg). Took two and those did nothing either. Even had a glass of wine thinking the combo would work. I get so wired that even these drugs aren't working. So in two weeks I'm off on a cruise and got a new prescription for Xanax (.5mg) Said I could take 1-3 as needed. So I'm hoping that those combined with maybe another drink I'll be able to calm down. As long as the flight is calm, I'm pretty good. But just one little bump from turbulence... The other suggestions work as well. I can't fly without my cd player because music does help. I also ride a commuter train daily that sometimes is much more bumpier than a flight so I keep telling myself I'm just on the train. Good luck!

I live in the Albany NY area, and awhile back our local paper had an article about a fear-of-flying program at the airport. If I recall, it runs for weeks, with talks from pilots, etc., with videos and tape recordings to familiarize you with noises you might hear, and arms students with knowledge about safety, etc. The program ends with a day trip flying to BWI and Inner Harbor.

Most of those interviewed felt it really helped. A few decided to skip the final flight. Perhaps there's a similar program in your area??

I had a fear of flying, but for one reason or another, it went away. I've talked with many pilots, and the only thing about rough flights that bothers them is the extra paperwork, not the danger of crashing.
Anyway, I took a flight on a B-24 bomber. It's open air and loud and small and takes turbulence like a punch to the jaw. Also I've flown in biplanes now. So I guess that's one way of overcoming fear.
Hope it doesn't keep you from seeing this beautiful world. It does my father, and I feel bad for him (worse for my mother).
Good luck.

I am an RN, although I don't practice anymore and I urge you not to take any of these drugs with alcohol. Alcohol is actually a depressant and can make you feel worse if you are suffering from generalized anxiety reaction. The psychiatrist that I see is a "psychopharmacologist", meaning a psychiatrist with specialized training in using medication to treat patients rather than the old therapy method. I only see him about every 6 weeks to check in with dose and side effects. You must imagine what it took for a nurse to admit she needed medical help! But, think of it this way, if you had bad allergies wouldn't you find a doctor and get on some medication instead of staying indoors all the time? Same thing. I think 9/11 was just the thing that pushed you over the edge. Please seek medical advice. It's only going to get worse as your body starts to break into this panic mode more often. You are not alone nor are you an inadequate person (although I came to thinking I was when I couldn't enjoy the flight the way my husband does) and docs can fix this just as they can give drugs to lower cholesterol.

I agree with the above poster who urges you not to take any of these drugs with alcohol. I'm a psychiatric nurse-therapist and just from a careful reading of your first post, it doesn't seem to me that you necessarily have a full-blown panic disorder. Having said that, obviously nobody can make a diagnosis without doing a real assessment, but my guess is that this is a specific, situational thing that would benefit from some cognitive/behaviour therapy such as what's offered in a fear-of-flying program. Drugs do work short-term, but every drug has side effects, and if for some reason you couldn't take your pill (you lost the bottle, you forgot to bring them, etc.) you'd be even more panicky. It would probably be best to have a sense of control that comes from inside you, rather than in a pill. Good luck!

Xanax+alcohol=major trouble.

I TOO HAVE SUFFERED WITH A FEAR OF FLYING SINCE 1986. I AM NOT SURE WHAT SET IT OFF, (PRE-1986 THERE WAS NO FEAR) IRONICALLY, 9/11 AND THE EVENTS OF THAT DAY HAVE CHANGED MY WAY OF THINKING. THE 8 FLIGHTS THAT I HAVE TAKEN SINCE THAT DAY (INCLUDING A TRIP TO HAWAII) HAVE ALL BEEN FEAR AND ANXIETY FREE. COMPLETELY! ALL OF THE HORROR THAT THOSE PEOPLE ON THE 4 AIRPLANES HAD TO ENDURE (AS WELL AS THE THOUSANDS OTHERWISE EFFECTED ON THE GROUND) MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MY PHOBIA IS EXTREMELY INSIGNIFICANT.

I agree with the other RN who says it doesn't sound like a full blown panic attack, but rather like situational anxiety. For me, however, I needed to break into the cycle via meds. I'm working on a lot of coping skills right now, but I couldn't have started that way. I am more concerned with the folks here who are mixing Valium etc. with alcohol. Fear of flying is a pretty common thing and the docs are able to deal with it, if the patients will only come to them. Good luck, Rog, and know that there are lots of us behind you.

It is so nice to get such positive and sincere responses to my anxiety. I am truly touched by all these posts and am so glad I used this to get this off my chest so to speak. Now I'm wondering should I go ahead and see my doctor about this before my next flight? I have been pretty much medically sound these 47 years and havn't been to my doctor except for routine checkups and x-rays. I haven't been on medication for the most part of my life and have had no "mental" problems ever until now. As I stated before I havn't shared this problem with my lovely wife; should I? I don't want to worry her and if I tell her I know she will "feel my pain" and worry. Again you wonderful people, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Rog, I wouldn't worry about labelling yourself as having a "mental problem" - you've got a situation that needs treatment of one sort or another, and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I would guess that your wife would rather be a source of support for you than be shut out of something that's causing you so much distress. It's a great idea to see your doctor, and my sense is that it will also be helpful to share some of this burden with your wife. It might ease your mind somewhat. We do have wonderful, effective medications available these days to help people deal with depression and anxiety, but I don't think that's necessarily the route for you to take. Your doctor will know best. We're all cheering for you here; we all know what it's like to feel afraid. Let the people closest to you, who know you and care about you, help in whatever way they can.

I absolutely agree with the above post. Go to your doc and get the best advice for your particular problem. Maybe after you've shared it with the doc, you can explain it to your wife and the two of you can make a plan. Bottom line though is you need medical advice and shouldn't hesitate to seek it. Good luck.

I've also been a semi-nervous flier for quite some time but my job requires a significant amount of travel so it's something I've had to deal with--in fact, I just flew home from Texas earlier today. I've found that the more I do it the less nervous I become. In any case, here are a few things that have helped me (short of medication, which I won't do).

1) Watch the flight attendants. If there were really something wrong you could see it in their faces. Think about all the members of retired pilot and flight attendant associations and how many times they must have safely flown in their lives.

2) Not all airlines (or planes) have this but try to find one that lets you listen in on the pilots--usually on channel 9 of your audio. I mostly fly United and this is available on almost all their planes now. It's really comforting to me to be able to hear what's going on. I know about turns before they happen because I can hear the air traffic controllers telling our pilot to make them. The same for climbs, descents and changes in airspeed. Now I never have to wonder if we're slowing down or turning, etc., etc. because something's wrong. Hearing the calmness in the pilot's voice makes me feel much calmer myself.

3) Do your research. Which airplane models are safest (i.e. avoid turbo-props)? Which airlines are safest? Which airports require trickier landings (i.e. avoid Reagan National)? How and why do accidents happen? Etc., etc. All of this helps me to feel more in control and therefore, less nervous. I can board that plane knowing that I've done everything in my power to ensure the odds are in my favor. Here are a couple links with good information:

http://www.airsafe.com
http://aviation-safety.net/index.shtml

Good luck!

I've been there. Xanax was my crutch for a little while, but frankly I got tired of dealing with the aftereffects, which can include "rebound" mini-anxiety attack, headache, and constipation. But it might be worth it to you just to get you back in the air enough times to get re-used to flying and reassured that you're ok.

Otherwise, I rely on music and comedy: tapes of favorite soothing music and/or tape of comedy routine from favorite comedian (or humorous book) that I haven't heard before. You aren't supposed to be listening to these things during take-off and landing but you can be listening to them up to taxi-ing and then about 10 min. after takeoff (sometimes less -- as soon as plane levels).

And just figure that the 24-48 hrs. before flight are worst, do what it takes to get through them, and don't tie yourself up panicking about whether you are going to panic!!!!!

Rog-
I definitely think you should share your feelings with your wife. I mentioned in my earlier post that my fiancee thinks I'm a nut but he is so supportive when we fly together. He has a pilot's license and understands the mechanics of the plane, etc. so he reassures me that everything is "normal." He also helps to distract me by talking to me and holding my hand. It helps so much. I'm sure your wife would want to help you through this too and not want you to suffer in silence! Good luck to you!

Rog, Please let the rest of us know what you are doing with this problem. You are a very together person to be able to post your thoughts to strangers and ask for help. You certainly don't have "mental problems"--I think you are quite strong. I guarantee once you have talked with your doc and found him/her to be supportive you will begin to feel infinitely better. Keep in touch and good luck. Remember if the doc prescribes a certain med and you don't feel good on it, be sure to tell him. There are lots of ways to handle this problem, it's just a matter of finding what works for you as you can see from this thread.

Nina; You're so right in that this is a happy thread, I am amazed at the genuine people that have come here. I have had a lot of time to soul search this and with out you guys I would be lost or ongoing with my anxiety alone. Mike, bomber, icuy, June, Lisa, Cherish, Sis, x, Jane, Julie, help, your ideas have all become compiled in a list of "exercises" I plan to use! Ratchit: the website was very useful. Sally, mR, Also rn: Your professional advice is much appreciated, now my question; Do you think Pauls advice to "arm" myself with the knowledge I've been given, use it, and afterwards If I'm still terrified get medical help is a good "route to take"? You have said there are alot of ways to handle this problem, your opinions? Mee too, Dr. Head, xx: I am not to keen on drugs as I have not been on any for the majority of my life and would like to keep it that way. LOL. I await youre wonderful advice!! To hate to fly: I hope these people can make a difference for you! I know they have for me already.

Rog, I think Paul makes some really good points. However, from a professional point of view - often, phobic disorders start out as a fear that some disaster will happen, and then they become a fear of the panic attack itself. So it's possible that even armed with all the information you need, you'll get on the plane thinking "What if this doesn't work and I get scared again?" and then you get worried about the fear as much as about something going wrong with the plane. I would encourage you to talk with your doctor, not as a last resort, but rather as a positive way to lessen the intensity of your anxiety. Does that make sense? I'm not sure if I've clearly expressed what I mean. It still sounds as if you feel embarrassed or even ashamed to "have to" get help with this - it's not as if you've failed or have some kind of weakness. Please don't look at it that way. There shouldn't be any stigma attached to getting help from a doctor in order to feel better.

You know also, its like I almost "trust" or "value" the advice I am getting and I feel somewhat of a "security blanket" here at this post. Does that sound crazy? And yet I know exactly what you mean. You ARE making sense and I truly appreciate that. Would you believe I have had the same doctor (family practice) for all of my 47 years and I have talked to him face to face less than ten times? Would he be a confidant (professionally) in this matter? I know I shouldn't be embarrased about this, for I have learned it is a medical, chemical condition but all the same should I consult with him or another? It's funny, as I sit here typing I can't help but think about the day I can fly without fear, the buildup is messing with my mind, yet I feel alot better about it than I did before I posted this! Am I rambling or what! Time for bed, goodnight to all.

Hi, Rog - I wasn't ignoring you, I was out of town yesterday and didn't see your post until this morning. I can understand why you're hesitating about confiding in your doctor, if he's somebody you don't know very well. And I've certainly run across doctors who say "Oh, you're worried about something? Here, take these pills," and that's it. I don't know if you live in or near a city that has good crisis counselling available, or has programs developed specifically to deal with fear of flying. There are specialty programs like that in lots of places, because (as you're probably finding out from this forum) it's not an unusual fear. So let's look at it this way: what would be good would be to get some professional help from somebody you are comfortable with, and in general to avoid somebody whose FIRST response is a prescription for tranquillizers. Lots of places offer good, competent short-term therapy for situational anxieties and/or phobias. These therapies are effective and give you the control, rather than giving the pills the control. Hope this helps.

Rog, you are a developing phobic, just like me. I don't like drugs either, and I don't use the xanax any more, but it sure helped early-on to break the cycle of panic.

As "also" suggests, the trouble with a phobia is that it breeds other phobias, because you have become fearful of being fearful. A GP may not be much help unless he/she has a lot of sensitivity and knows someone to refer you to who will treat the phobia for what it is and not A)just rely on drugs or B)try deep personality analysis.

What broke my cycle of panic was a few visits to a phobia-specialist who used a combination of TEMPORARY one-time drugs (xanax) and teaching me relaxation/self-hypnosis. Gotta tell you, I'm a solid-gold cynic about things that seem New Age, but I was pretty desperate and finally got the hang of the relaxation/self-hypnosis, and it helped a lot in neutralizing acute attacks.

Finally, the most certain way to "cure" yourself of the panic is to keep doing the thing that terrifies you until it's much more routine. Each time you have a flight in which you "survive," it makes getting on the next flight easier. But the "bad news" is that once your body has learned to panic about stuff, you will always have the tendency to suffering panic attacks unless you know how to recognize them, deal with them, let them wash over you.

First get on the plane and take a trip or two THEN worry about whether you are completely crazy and need a full headshrinking. I doubt it -- but you do sound very much immersed in your current panic (using us as "blanket", etc.) -- so get help breaking those thought patterns and get on a plane!

It works -- I didn't fly for 10 years, now I have 48K frequent flier miles. I still have passing attacks of anxiety and every time I have a bad flight (lots of turbulence), it makes getting on the next plane harder. But at least I know what's going on and that I CAN keep on keeping on.