Fear of Flying
 

I thought I could get mostly honest answers on this website to this dilemma I know face. I am 47 and have flown since I was 8 years old at least 2 times a year. Lately, yes I would have say since 9/11, I get a fear in my head that starts about 24 hours before flight. (8 times since) Once we are on clearance for takeoff and the jets kick in I start to panic! I travel with my wife and don't show it but I am in a state of fearful mind games. I have tried to control it but the thoughts ransack my brain. Every noise, every bump, every turn I am in FEAR! Once we level off I am somewhat under control but it starts all over with descent. What to do? I know this is crazy but I just can't seem to get over it. Anybody else feel the same way? Is this normal you think? Thank you for your suggestions.

Sounds to me like situational anxiety, maybe borderline panic attack, perhaps related to deep but unexpressed feelings about 9/11. Sure, it's highly unlikely that anything will go wrong, but this isn't about rational thought, it's about emotion. I'm not a pill advocate but if the problem persists or worsens you might talk to your health care provider about medication. Before resorting to that, you might try some relaxataion techniques. <BR>Also, take alook at this web site: http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/<BR>Good luck!

<BR>First, I'm not a psychologist.<BR><BR>Second, after 9/11 who wouldn't be at least a little queasy flying. I'm sure you are not alone in your feelings.<BR><BR>I'm not the best flyer in the world so I do the following when I get the jitters:<BR><BR>1. Close the windows on take off/landing.<BR>2. Close your eyes and go somewhere else - picture the mountains, the sea, where ever it is that relaxes you. For me, I picture myself in a car since the bumps you feel in a car are similar to the ones in the plane it's you just ignore them in a car.<BR>3. Finally, I believe what they say about it being more dangerous to drive to the airport than it is to fly on the plane. Every year, thousands and thousands of people are killed in automobile accidents but (excluding 9/11) very few died in airplane crashes.<BR><BR>I don't drink but some people claim a drink before take off /landing helps their nerves.<BR><BR>Good luck and there is professional help if you need it.<BR><BR>Mike Honeycutt

Rog, I can relate to your problem. I have flown many times and never was confortable with it. I had the problem before 9-11. The biggest thing to bother me is turbulance--if we are in it,I am miserable. When not in it, I am expecting it at any second, so that's as bad.<BR>I always try to get a seat as close to the front as possible. It seems like that helps. I really don't know the answer to the problem, but it helps to talk. One thing for sure, I love to travel and to visit places overseas, so one has to fly.<BR>At least know you're not alone with your discomfort.<BR>Smooth sailing.

My sister hasn't flown in years due to panic attacks (and fear of getting a panic attack) on planes. she used to drink herself silly when she had to fly, but still freaked out. Finally she quit flying... even took Amtrak from VA to CA!<BR>Last month she HAD to fly if she wanted to attend a family wedding. She got valium for the first time. took 1/2 the night before, 1/2 in the morning, and 1 at boarding, then every few hours per doctor. She had no problems, and said it didn't make her 'stoned", but more just relaxed her and made her not really care about the flight. Flew home the same way, and now we are planning a trip somewhere exotic. don't know if it will work for you, but you might give it a shot.<BR>I also hate flying, and like you am on edge or in tears for much of trips. i live in Hawaii though, so have no choice. I've found that putting Andre Boccelli (sp?)at loud volume on my walkman, then closing my eyes and imagining I'm on a speedboat or a roller coaster fools my brain into accepting the bumps ase fun. don't laugh...it works for me!

I panic on flights, too. Mine manifested itself about 3 years ago. I'm seriously looking into some drugs, because it's not getting better.<BR><BR>That being said, I can pass on a couple of hints. I've read that it helps if your senses are engaged. Bring a magazine with bright, colorful pictures to occupy your eyes (InStyle Magazine works for me, maybe there is something that's more for men!) and a walkman to occupy your ears. <BR><BR>I've taken some Nyquil before a flight, and that dopes me up slightly.<BR><BR>Someone recommended the front of the plane, but I do better at the back of the plane. Right by where the flight attendants are making coffee and getting the meals. There is a comfort for me in seeing a normal, routine activity. Strange, but it helps me.

Icuy, I'm happy you found something that helps --sounds like your sister found something too!<BR> I think there are a lot of people like us out there--love to travel but have a problem with flying.<BR> I have visited Hawaii 6 times--have enough frequent flyer miles to round tripfirst class--waiting on the nerve to do it.

Panic attacks are real and can be very scary. You are not alone. You might want to check fear of flying on the web. Perhaps there are some classes or something that might work besides resorting to drugs or drinking. <BR><BR>I think since 9/11, a lot of people have experienced this. And, it will probably get worse as we get closer to September and have the one year anniversary.<BR><BR>

You should discuss this with your doctor.

My sister is the same way. Classes were no help, but valium works, just one about an hour before the flight relaxes her.

Absolutely talk to your doctor about this. Panic attacks are brought on by a chemical imbalance in the brain. For many people, they are chronic. Others have them infrequently. Those with chronic attacks benefit from anti-depresant maintenance drugs like Zoloft. It helps to prevent them, and reduces their frequency/intnesity.<BR><BR>Another class of drugs help eliminate the effects of panic attacks once they start. Valium falls into this category, as well as Xanex. Either of these can be very benefitial to take prior to flying, if that is indeed what triggers your attacks.<BR><BR>Either way, you need to call your doctor to discuss it.<BR><BR>The good doctor has spoken.<BR><BR>

Yes, fear is normal, I'm glad you are not denying your fear. And don't try to handle this problem alone, or to just do it rationally, and consciously. Let your wife in, don't be alone or ashamed. Definitely talk with your doctor now, it is a serious isse - and ask for a referral to see a psychologist for a while, on a regular basis, and talk to them about a mild med to be used for flights. The key is understanding exactly what it is you are afraid of. Perhaps 9-11 is a surrogate for a fear of something else. Perhaps the fear was already there, hidden and your body used 9-11 and flying as the route for release. Don't try to solve this by the usual means you use on problems. Get some more resources, and of course you will be the one in charge. It may be that your fear is going to become an ally of yours, helping you to make a needed change in your life. Look at it as a potential life saver, and not simply as a problem. And start now working with your doctor. If he or she doesn't respond the way YOU believe they should, get another doctor.

As I've gotten older, my fear of flying has greatly increased. Now it's to the point of having nightmares, starting a few weeks before we take our annual family vacation. We are leaving for Chicago this Saturday. Throughout the day terrible thoughts creep into my head of me and my family dying in a plane crash, followed by bad dreams at night. I try to rationalize by thinking how often my boss takes flights and returns safely, as do many other people, but it only brings momentary relief. My grandmother's suitcase was packed until her death, waiting for a trip to Hawaii she never got to take because of her fears. When my dad was dying of cancer he regretted not having traveled more, so I vowed not to let that happen to me. I just pray that my nightmares never come true.

I have to say I agree with you. Here's what I do to help:<BR><BR>I have a prescription for Xanax -- only for five tablets, enough for round trip and one to spare. Takes the 'edge' off only.<BR><BR>Something I've heard lots of others do, that I've considered when flying with my family and not alone on business....is to fly with one child while hubby flies wiht the other. That way IF something happened....<BR><BR>However, I've never done it since who would wanna live if the other half didn't make it....???<BR><BR>I don't know, I shudder to think of it.

That's why we all fly together. I figure we'll all go at once and the survivors won't have to live with the agony of being alone. <BR><BR>Wow, isn't this a happy thread and don't you feel better rog? (I know it sounds strange, but I do feel better flying when we're all together, and happy, at least until...)

Howdy,<BR>I'm an experience aviatior and have flown professionally for the Air Force for 10 years and more for recreation (fun). Right now I'm an aircraft mishap (crash) investigator. <BR><BR>I believe that your fear is more a phobia or unreasonable fear. Do you get fearful when driving your car? You need to arm yourself with real statistical information and maybe you will calm down some. <BR><BR>The reason most people (IMHO) are afraid of flying is because they associate aircraft mishaps with large-scale death and destruction. When there are airliner mishaps, yes there are often large numbers of fatalities and it makes for good front-page news because the mishaps are sensational.<BR><BR>Statistically, there are far more highway deaths and your chances of a drunk driver hitting and killing you are far greater. There are thousands of flights world-wide every day that carry millions of people. You always hear about the catastrophic mishaps because they make for good news stories. Are you aware how many people die in car accidents DAILY just in the U.S.? No, because nobody wants to hear a daily total of nationwide fatalities on the news.<BR><BR>I agree with the earlier posters. If you arm yourself with knowledge and are still terrified, get some psych or medical help. <BR><BR>Happy Flying!<BR><BR>Paul

Rog- <BR>You are not alone! I feel exactly the same way-- EVERY bump and odd noise gets my heart racing. I feel hot, my palms are sweating, and I just feel like I am going to burst into tears. I have always had this fear...it is not just a result of 9/11. I fly about once a month so this is a real issue for me. I've only resorted to drugs (Xanax) once and that was for an overseas trip. The Xanax was a life saver but I hate taking any type of medication so I don't do it very often. Here are some things I try to do to help me:<BR><BR>1. I try to sit in the front of the plane. I noticed I feel more panicked when I sit in the back. I feel more cramped and during turbulence, the worst thing is to look down the belly of the plane and see the entire plane swaying back and forth. <BR>2. I try to sit near an exit row, for obvious reasons.<BR>3. I do visualization exercises like a previous poster said- imagine the bumps are similar to "pot holes" for the plane. I also visualize the family or friends who await me at the end of the flight or the different sights I will get to see when I de-board.<BR>4. I watch the flight attendants-- if they aren't panicking, then neither should I.<BR>5. I make a mental list of all the family and friends I have who fly far more frequently than I. They are all still alive and well- despite their flying!<BR>6. I do a "countdown" of the flight. Usually, my flights are around 2-3 hours so it helps to know that there will be an end to the suffering! <BR><BR>My fiancee thinks I'm a nut but I can't help these fears. I love to travel though so I force myself to get on the plane. Good luck to you!

To all of you: thank you very,very much. I knew I could get some honest and usable suggestions to my "fear". I hate it every time we decide to go somewhere we have to fly, it shouldn't be like this! There are so many good, real suggestions to my problem, I will try some of them on my next flight. Hopefully, short of going to the doctor and getting medication, these will help. Thanks to all of you! I am not alone out there! (or should I say "up" there) I will post a trip report after my next flight.

My mother suffers from panic attacks and actually had a stroke during one of them. I have been seeing a psychiatrist who has prescribed Klonopin. It took me a lot of years to get to the doctor during which time I was truly miserable. We travel a lot. Each take off was hell for me. Now I take one half a pill about a hour before flying and believe me it makes all the difference. I do not feel at all drugged but am calm and composed. This is not a tranquilizer or sedative but a rather new drug. The mind games you are talking about is ruminating and it's quite common with a generalized anxiety reaction. I used to not sleep the night before flying and had old song lyrics going around in my head until I thought I was going crazy. Please consult a physician and don't feel that you are a weak person for needing to do that or take medication. You cannot "tough it out"---I've tried. I've been down that road and it goes nowhere. Good luck.

Rog, posters really gave you some good ideas! Hope you can act on them. Believe me, many of us have been right where you are now, and we got past it - and you can too. Sally told you not to try to "tough it out" - man oh man, that is sound advice, believe me. When you say you shouldn't hate it when you have to fly, I know what you mean. But you hate it for very good reasons - and if you get some professional assistance now, you'll crack the code and find out why. Trust me, this is not a "should not" situation - it is an "is" situation. You are not doing anything wrong. Accept how you feel, write down the description - and don't try to figure it out. Just get a clear idea of how you feel and when. And then get that help that's been advised. Take you notes with you. Look at Sally's words again - she has put you light years ahead toward a solution, if you'll try to trust and accept what she says. I really wish you the best!