Kirsten,
i try not to let it bother me but it does! I take some meds to help me get through but 2 day before going until I land it is really ugly!!

For those who have fear of flight - yes, take offs and landings are the worst. That's why I prefer non-stop flights.

My "break through" came after taking classes. I googled "fear of flight", pulled up long class, printed those pages and read a few at a time with my own speed. The very first flight after that was nearly a complete success.

I still do the breathing exercises and close my eyes not to see the outside, but it's getting better and better each time.

I don't have the papers at work with me, all I remember is some captain put it up on the web.

Exercise: take a deep breath, and while slowly exhailing say aloud relaaax... and do it for the length of take-off or landing. I think I remember this correctly, sorry if not.

one word - valium

Rog -

I feel your pain. I am very, very afraid of flying in commercial planes. But I fly because I MUST travel.

Everyone has given you good advice - I'll add just a couple of things:

1) You don't have a "mental problem" in the way the term is commonly used. My husband, for instance, loves to fly but can't ride a Ferris wheel because of his fear of heights. Which makes no sense.

I, on the other hand, am deathly afraid of large commercial jets (especially when they throttle back the engines after they reach cruising altitude. Ugh - I want those suckers going full blast ALL the way!) But I love to fly in two-seater Cessnas. Go figure.

The point is, phobias don't make sense and many, many people have them in some form. Flying is just one we often have to share with the world. How often does someone with a phobia of snakes really HAVE to confront that fear? But sooner or later, most of us will have to fly and so we fearful flyers commonly have our phobia "outed."

2) Tell your wife! She probably knows anyway, and telling your traveling companion can help.

3) Make any travel concessions you can to your particular fear. If takeoffs and landings are the roughest for you, schedule non-stops, for instance. I haven't yet figured out how to book a "full-speed, all the way" flight, but if I could, I would.

4) If you're anything like me, watching the flight attendants won't help. I know they're trained to keep their cool in all but the most extreme circumstances. (That's the only bad piece of advice my dad ever gave me). Instead, I pick out a couple of obvious frequent business flyers, real road warriors. As long as they stay calm, I stay calm (mostly.)

I'm so happy you're getting help. I hope your quest to resolve your problem is successful!

Aargh! I'm pretty sure Rog has either figured out his problem by now...or not. Anyway, maybe my ramblings will comfort some other poor soul with my shared fear. Hope so.

Just don't bring along a 'smart ass' friend along on your trip. When the plane started moving on the runway, he looked at me and said "nice knowing ya". Also, looking at the other passengers going about thier lives like nothing is happening really irks you. They are calmly reading thier newspapers, using thier laptop pc's, etc. No problem with turbulence, etc. Makes you feel all alone with your fear.

I was not using any xanax or valium on my last flight, but I might on my next.

I have not flown anywhere since the events of 9/11, so I have not experienced the updated security measures.