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Long, interesting thread. Rog, whatever you decide, don't keep your fear secret. Tell your wife, your doctor, a counsellor. And whatever info. you gather, use it as support for getting professional help. You are not sick, you're simply afraid, and we all are at times. If you get help, then you'll be dealing with the fear sooner, thus you'll make progress sooner. If your doctor prescribes a med, yes, by all means, take it as directed. It will help you. Sta away from alcohol when you take it. When you look back a year or so from now, this situation you're experiencing will not look the same. Get the professional help now, and if your wife is someone you can be open with, then open up right now, and tell her what you're feeling. Odds are she will be helpful, and you'll no longer be alone with that fear. And also today, call your doctor about a referral for specific help. Please do not put this off! Lets us know how you fare, and good luck.

Its funny how when you dwell on something it gets worse at times and better at times, all in all I am still a mess and appreciate the encouraging responses I get. We have a getaway up in the mountains (we drive), we didn't get to go this weekend and boy did I remain absorbed on this. I was almost afraid to come back to this post. But I have had nothing but from the heart advice and knew I had to. I have an appointment with my doctor for next week. Now I'm going to have to ask him about this lump I get in my throat and the deep breaths I take when I THINK about this now. LOL. Thanks to all!

Good for you Rog. Make sure you keep in touch for all the others who share your problems.....and there are many.

alsoRN@work you mentioned there are "specialty programs" available in larger cities that may help; I'm from Atlanta, how do you think I'd go about finding one here? What direction do you suggest? Thank you. I'm not too good at groups either! LOL

Rog, I'm in Canada so I don't know what's available in Atlanta, but I'll bet we could find out on the Net, somehow. I'll check around. Somebody on another thread mentioned that some of the airlines actually run these programs themselves. I don't know if they're in a group format or individual. Let me see what I can find out and I'll post again.

One other thing is this the same Kam that gave me some GREAT information and suggestions before I went to San Francisco In early July? Yes, in case you were wondering, I had fits with those flights too! And we flew Vanguard from Atlanta! LOL

Thanks so much also, what a tremendous help and inspiration you and all the others have been to me; I really enjoy the "company" here! When I get on a plane I feel as if I am the only one on board who goes into a panic stage and wish I could share my grief with others. But here I feel a total understanding and get the opportunity to share that grief. Be back soon, Respect.

Okay, Rog, here's what I did. I went to Google and just typed in "fear of flying treatment" and got tons of websites. One that was of particular interest had a search button for "find help in your area." So I clicked on Atlanta and found that the Atlanta VA Medical Center has a psychologist there who specializes in treating this problem. His name is David Ready, and they give his phone number as 402-321-6111,extension 7082. Or you could probably just call up the VA Medical Center and ask them for the name of a practitioner. There seem to be quite a few people selling treatment programs and I have no way of knowing who's good and who isn't, but my guess (bearing in mind, I'm a Canadian and not really familiar with the system in Georgia)is that the VA hospital would be reputable. This David Ready guy also has an e-mail address. But I think if I were you I'd call the medical center and see what they have to offer. Good luck!

Oh my gosh also, WOW. Im kinda embarassed for I am a Vet and am only 10 miles from VA. Will call tomorrow. Typing can't express my gratitude!

I'm happy to have been of help,Rog, and I'm sure everyone who has posted here feels the same way. Please keep us all informed about how things go. You've got a big cheering section here!

Just a quick comment on "mee too's" statement about splitting up the family on flights....i don't have kids but my flying friends that do typically fly with the whole family together but when the parents travel without the kids, then they fly separately to make sure the kids won't lose both parents if something bad does happen.<BR><BR>of course, as many people have already pointed out here, the odds of anything happening remains extremely low but the loss to your children would be great if it did happen.<BR><BR>Rog - good luck. a lot of good advice here so no need for me to add anymore.

Gerat going, Rog - getting some help is just fabulous - the most wonderful first step. Also, get your wife involved - she must sense there are problems - level with her - I assume she'll be flying with you - she can help you, if you let her. Juts stay OPEN with others about your fears!!!! I know this is hard to do - but as other posters have said, you are not alone - unless you keep yourself alone. Open up, and you'll find that all of us are afraid. I cannot tell you how terrified flying used to make me - I cancelled flights at the last monent rather than force myself on board. Now I LOVE to fly, 9-11 and all. You will be successful with this issue, never fear!!! Getting to a doctor, and talking with your wife - yes, you are on the road to a solution. Bets regards to you, Rog. (PS. as a former Atlanta person - ).

Rog:<BR>I used to be one of the worst flyers around. A little different than you, my anxiety was during the flight, every time there was a slight bump, turbulence, big clouds on the horizon. I gave up going on trips I wanted to go to. I found a class in my area (Houston) run by a guy who was a pilot and a psychologist for fear of flying. It was 12 weeks, once a week, and we discussed all aspects of the phobia, with rational explanations for what made us fearful. Also included were two flights, one just from one airport to another in Houston on a small prop plane (gulp) and the other from Houston to Austin and back on Southwest. He was wonderful, and gave me a foundation for beginning to let go of the fear. It actually took several years after that class until everything he said came together, and I am truly, basically a fearless flyer now. I have made trips to Australia, Israel, Hong Kong, Hawaii, and many European countries, and the only remnant I have of the fear is that I cannot sleep on a plane because when I start to fall asleep, I can't hear the engines, and I pop up in a panic. So, I don't sleep, but otherwise, cured. Suggest you look, ask around, maybe call the airlines and see if you can find such a person/class. It was a lifesaver for me. Good luck.

I've already posted once but forgot my nom de plume -- but wanted to tell you about one last surprisingly helpful thing: I was treated to an upgrade to Business class on a trip to UK last year and they were handing out the Bose noise-filtering earphones to use instead of the usual in-flight earphones. Even though they're bulky (and expensive to buy -- $200 or so), the difference they made in the flying experience was astounding -- something about cutting out all that roar of engines and allowing the sound of the music or movie to come through (or even just soft background hiss instead of roar, in order to sleep). <BR><BR>I wish someone else made the same thing lighter and more cheaply, but you might be amazed at the difference.

Topped for Maia.

Interesting thread. If vacation flying is so upsetting, may I suggest driving ? <BR>Many flying fears might be lessened if basic flight principles were understood (flap movements - odd rumbles, lurches & noises).<BR>Certainly Economy class flying has got worse re comfort & service but it remains a fact that flying is still a very safe form of travel.<BR>I remember a trip years ago, Sydney Australia to New Zealand, right after meal service we hit major turbulence, someone barfed & within minutes the staff were handing out duty-free shopping bags as barf bags .. but it was really just aerial speed-bumps. (I'm not the best traveller in the world but I just went to sleep).<BR>Forget the high price pills, Tanqueray will put you in a relaxed mood (and a h*ll of a lot cheaper than Nyquil !)<BR>Where're we going next ?

Go on board with a full bladder! and then that is all you will think about.<BR><BR>My last flight ..a month ago...I had to go soo bad because of nerves and couldn't because of the seatbelt on sign...they wouldn't let me get up...so, I sat in extreme agony for almost an hour.<BR>THAT is all I could think about....gotta go, gotta go....<BR>When we landed I was ready to jump over everyones to get to the terminal...unfortunately we were held up because of congestion....!<BR>I have no memory of being in fear on my last flight!

Topping for nbbrown

Hi,
I know this is a late post, but I can truly feel for you. I HATE flying. The feeling of taking off seems very unatural to me. Once we are at cruising altitude I can somewhat relax. This doesn't stop me from going anywhere as I love to travel. But Oh Boy, those first ten minutes make me insane.... I hate all those &quot;ding-ding&quot; noises, as well as the tires being retracted. I follow the flight attendant's reactions closely. Surely they would detect an irregularity, right? As you can see, for a totally rational person I am quite irrational when it comes to flying. Lately I have resorted to taking Xanax, which really helps. My 17 year old daughter is cool about flying, but my 13 year old son takes after me, so I &quot;drug&quot; him as well. Hey, whatever it takes. There is a big world out there, let's go and see it!!!
Kirsten