Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree ...." and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House. . . ." Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken. . . ."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road,Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave., Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, Old Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

Atlantans do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native signal at a stop light, to change lanes, or to merge. Never. Ever.

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.

It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't feel lost . . . they're just on a "scenic drive."

The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 a.m. The 5:00 p.m. rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and lasts through 2:00 a.m. Saturday.

Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody ... especially those of us who live here. Stay out of them unless you are looking for a head-on collision.

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.

If a single snowflake falls the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer if there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" T-shirts.

It is always Smog Alert Day. Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.

Atlantans are very proud of our race track, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name.

Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500." Georgia 400 is the southern equivalent of the Autobahn.

Lunatic ravings! P'tree Rd. and P'tree St. are in fact the same roadway, just different locations along its 26 mile length. And it's always two-way. Are you thinking perhaps of Spring Street? BTW, use the Expressway, and make your exit wherever you need to go. Sounds to me like Atlanta is too much for you. Try a smaller town south.

Is Atlanta number one in one-way streets?

this is one of those e-mail jokes that you see time and time again....not sure why this poster put this up.

Not saying that I DISAGREE with the comments in the joke, but a pointless post.

Y'all mean that when we get to Atlanta we should immediately take a tranquilizer when driving around or through Atlanta!!! Where is the southern hospitality that they were so famous for? Yes, I do remember getting directions to the Big Chicken...is that funny or what!!

I'm sure it is true of most big cities but he is not kidding about the speed limit on I-285. I always do 80 just to keep up and *plenty* of people are passing me. I also had the misfortune of driving through Atlanta at 5:00 on a Friday afternoon. I'm not kidding when I say there was numerous wrecks everyone mile or so, had to have my passenger tell me when I could squeeze in to the next lane (yes, everyone was doing 80), and thought I was dreaming when a car was burning beside the road. Nice city but wear a helmet

Mike Honeycutt