Dallas Plano Area
Jul 16th, 2010, 03:26 PM
#101
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Don't you have a child at home? You may be interested in this article from the NYtimes about the long-term effects of moving on children:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/11/fa...ving.html?_r=1
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/11/fa...ving.html?_r=1
Jul 16th, 2010, 03:50 PM
#102
I shifted a lot a a child, went to 7 different schools. I was a shy person and got to the stage where I didn't make a lot of friends because you were shifted away from them. Remember this was in the days before internet, facebook etc.
I actually made a promise to myself I wouldn't put my kids through that, and even though DH and I have lived in several houses in our married life, we stayed in the area so the children didn't shift schools.
I know it is hard if you have to shift to get a good job, and is probably one of the things you just have to do, but it can have a negative effect on children. On the other hand if the child is out-going, she/he will probably look on it as an adventure and love every minute of it.
I actually made a promise to myself I wouldn't put my kids through that, and even though DH and I have lived in several houses in our married life, we stayed in the area so the children didn't shift schools.
I know it is hard if you have to shift to get a good job, and is probably one of the things you just have to do, but it can have a negative effect on children. On the other hand if the child is out-going, she/he will probably look on it as an adventure and love every minute of it.
Jul 16th, 2010, 03:52 PM
#103
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Wow, trickiewoo, talk about putting a damper on things!
I would put myself in the "moved around a lot" category.......7 states, 11 different houses/apartments, and 6 different schools (beginning in Kdg) - all before the age of 12. Since then.....2 additional states, 12 different houses/apartment, and 2 additional countries on 2 differnt continents.
And my children have lived in 8 different houses/apartments, in 3 different states, in 3 different countries, on 3 different continents. And they've gone to 5 different schools (Kdg - 11th/12th).
I remember what my mother did to make my brother and I comfortable whenever we moved, and I applied those same tactics whenever we moved with our children. I've also watched lots of families move into a new location - some did well, others did not. And the MAIN factor determining how well a child adapted.....was how the MOM adapted.
If the mom is miserable, constantly complaining and moping and "missing" the previous location - then the children are miserable. But if the mom is upbeat, willing to explore the new location, making an effort to make friends, etc - then the children do just fine.
Yes, moving in high school (and even middle school) is not easy, but it is done all the time - and can be done quite successfully.
It's all in the attitude!
Wow, trickiewoo, talk about putting a damper on things!
I would put myself in the "moved around a lot" category.......7 states, 11 different houses/apartments, and 6 different schools (beginning in Kdg) - all before the age of 12. Since then.....2 additional states, 12 different houses/apartment, and 2 additional countries on 2 differnt continents.
And my children have lived in 8 different houses/apartments, in 3 different states, in 3 different countries, on 3 different continents. And they've gone to 5 different schools (Kdg - 11th/12th).
I remember what my mother did to make my brother and I comfortable whenever we moved, and I applied those same tactics whenever we moved with our children. I've also watched lots of families move into a new location - some did well, others did not. And the MAIN factor determining how well a child adapted.....was how the MOM adapted.
If the mom is miserable, constantly complaining and moping and "missing" the previous location - then the children are miserable. But if the mom is upbeat, willing to explore the new location, making an effort to make friends, etc - then the children do just fine.
Yes, moving in high school (and even middle school) is not easy, but it is done all the time - and can be done quite successfully.
It's all in the attitude!
Jul 16th, 2010, 04:00 PM
#106
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I think trickiewoo was just putting one more thing to look at on the table, but knowing Mom, her child would have been the first thing she considered.
And did you read the article? It said that some kids are "blissfully unaffected."
It is like divorce - not always what the kid would choose for themselves, but if handled correctly, any bad effects can be minimized.
And did you read the article? It said that some kids are "blissfully unaffected."
It is like divorce - not always what the kid would choose for themselves, but if handled correctly, any bad effects can be minimized.
Jul 16th, 2010, 04:02 PM
#107
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seetheworld on Jul 16, 10 at 4:55pm
Losing a house, starving, or being without medical benefits is no picnic either.
Mom, hang in there.
****
No kidding right?
Frank - interesting - my Mom has moved a lot and said that is an issue about people coming from Ca. - good advice imo.
Yes, I know it is hard on children - goodness knows I know better than most and I too promised myself that I would never put my children through that. Ever. While we have moved homes we have not left the immediate area we live in and have roots here. We are well known in a positive sense in our church and our community.
I am pretty grumpy about moving but agree 100% that how I treat this will trickle down 100% to my children. I will take a leave from school to get the family settled and will not move right away - dh will most likely go ahead and make sure that this is going to work so to speak.
Least we forget that this is all IF he even gets the job - ;-).
I appreciate all the feedback - good and bad and advice as well.
Kis - I am sorry for your loss of course.
Losing a house, starving, or being without medical benefits is no picnic either.
Mom, hang in there.
****
No kidding right?
Frank - interesting - my Mom has moved a lot and said that is an issue about people coming from Ca. - good advice imo.
Yes, I know it is hard on children - goodness knows I know better than most and I too promised myself that I would never put my children through that. Ever. While we have moved homes we have not left the immediate area we live in and have roots here. We are well known in a positive sense in our church and our community.
I am pretty grumpy about moving but agree 100% that how I treat this will trickle down 100% to my children. I will take a leave from school to get the family settled and will not move right away - dh will most likely go ahead and make sure that this is going to work so to speak.
Least we forget that this is all IF he even gets the job - ;-).
I appreciate all the feedback - good and bad and advice as well.
Kis - I am sorry for your loss of course.
Jul 16th, 2010, 04:25 PM
#108
My DH was running the Grand Hyatt Tampa, Mom. It has a live-in arrangement and we had a casita on the grounds.
Moving is a fact of life with his company. We were fortunate to be in Dallas all the time the kids were growing up, but he was moving up ladders in various Hyatts there. At a certain point, if you stay with that company, you simply count on moving every few years...it's the only way you can advance. I enjoyed moving early on in his career, it was always sort of exciting to go on to different cities, but not so much now.
I was born and raised in one little town in MA. My Dad worked for GE and there were some transfers there. We could have moved to Rome, GA. I had no idea where Rome was...in Ga..., had never been south of Connecticut, but I was ready! LOL Some kids do quite well with it, and I agree so much with Grcxx3, parents attitude makes all the difference in the world in adjustment.
Moving is a fact of life with his company. We were fortunate to be in Dallas all the time the kids were growing up, but he was moving up ladders in various Hyatts there. At a certain point, if you stay with that company, you simply count on moving every few years...it's the only way you can advance. I enjoyed moving early on in his career, it was always sort of exciting to go on to different cities, but not so much now.
I was born and raised in one little town in MA. My Dad worked for GE and there were some transfers there. We could have moved to Rome, GA. I had no idea where Rome was...in Ga..., had never been south of Connecticut, but I was ready! LOL Some kids do quite well with it, and I agree so much with Grcxx3, parents attitude makes all the difference in the world in adjustment.
Jul 17th, 2010, 10:41 AM
#109
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soogies, you have been on my mind. I was wondering, can you tell us anything that you do like about Dallas? Anything? BBQ? How they like to say, "thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu." (this was interesting to my husband when he first moved to Dallas). The gardens, the McMansions, the colleges, the Tex Mex? Something that you like?
Hugs to you soogies. I know it is difficult to live in a place where you are not happy. I have been there a few times. I lived in HI in my 20s and hated living in Honolulu. And everyone would say how I must LOVE living in Paradise. NO, didn't at all. I was young and should have appreciated it more. I then moved to NYC and was happy about that. More culture and entertainment. I hope you can move soon, if that is what you want.
Mom, I know it will work out for you. Sometimes it is the not knowing that kills us. LIMBO. I am finally out of limbo with my job situation and it feels like a rebirth. Let us know when you hear something.
Hugs to you soogies. I know it is difficult to live in a place where you are not happy. I have been there a few times. I lived in HI in my 20s and hated living in Honolulu. And everyone would say how I must LOVE living in Paradise. NO, didn't at all. I was young and should have appreciated it more. I then moved to NYC and was happy about that. More culture and entertainment. I hope you can move soon, if that is what you want.
Mom, I know it will work out for you. Sometimes it is the not knowing that kills us. LIMBO. I am finally out of limbo with my job situation and it feels like a rebirth. Let us know when you hear something.
Jul 17th, 2010, 02:16 PM
#110
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Mom - There are several good nursing schools in the area. Texas Women's University (4 year) would be somewhat convenient for you with campuses in Dallas and Denton (north of Dallas ~35 miles).
http://www.twu.edu/nursing/
Dallas County Community College District has a 2-year Associate's Degree in nursing @ Brookhaven College.
http://www.dcccd.edu/Current+Student...ealth/Nursing/
Also, Baylor University has a campus just south of downtown Dallas.
http://www.twu.edu/nursing/
Dallas County Community College District has a 2-year Associate's Degree in nursing @ Brookhaven College.
http://www.dcccd.edu/Current+Student...ealth/Nursing/
Also, Baylor University has a campus just south of downtown Dallas.
Jul 17th, 2010, 05:32 PM
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Hi Dawn,
I've been reading but not posting...I think it's selfishly because the idea of moving stresses me out. OWJ2 is now "open to relocation" though at this point is completely academic because no interviews are set up outside of our area. We've come to realize that widening the search is necessary. Like you, I'm very happily rooted where I am and the thought of moving away from my life, my friends, my job, even OWJ2's family is scary. That said, we have to look at the big picture and do what's best for our family, even if that means starting over somewhere.
OWJ
I've been reading but not posting...I think it's selfishly because the idea of moving stresses me out. OWJ2 is now "open to relocation" though at this point is completely academic because no interviews are set up outside of our area. We've come to realize that widening the search is necessary. Like you, I'm very happily rooted where I am and the thought of moving away from my life, my friends, my job, even OWJ2's family is scary. That said, we have to look at the big picture and do what's best for our family, even if that means starting over somewhere.
OWJ
Jul 17th, 2010, 05:36 PM
#117
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OWJ - we were posting at the same time. It is REALLY hard to start to be "open" to relocation. Dh's recruiter and others have explained it makes him much more interesting to even get an interview. It is really stressful. More than I think I wanted to think about when I started this thread.
Things will work out as they should - if he gets the job - so be it. It has been almost 3 years now of him working "beneath" his level so to speak. We were happy when he landed his last contract and it lasted for over a year - so we are thankful for that time...
to you as well.
Things will work out as they should - if he gets the job - so be it. It has been almost 3 years now of him working "beneath" his level so to speak. We were happy when he landed his last contract and it lasted for over a year - so we are thankful for that time...
to you as well.
Jul 17th, 2010, 06:04 PM
#118
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NEXT WEEK?? Whoa! Keep me posted.
I totally get the working 'beneath' his level. It's so hard and though my DH would not admit it, I know he feels he's not being a good provider and this job search has really affected his confidence in himself. He's doing the best he can...what more can one expect?
I totally get the working 'beneath' his level. It's so hard and though my DH would not admit it, I know he feels he's not being a good provider and this job search has really affected his confidence in himself. He's doing the best he can...what more can one expect?
Jul 17th, 2010, 07:11 PM
#120
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<cat111719 on Jul 16, 10 at 5:00pm
I think trickiewoo was just putting one more thing to look at on the table, but knowing Mom, her child would have been the first thing she considered.>
Just seeing this - you are very kind and very right.
I think trickiewoo was just putting one more thing to look at on the table, but knowing Mom, her child would have been the first thing she considered.>
Just seeing this - you are very kind and very right
.
