College travel...UNC, Elon, Duke...
Oct 3rd, 2007, 09:58 AM
#21
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Davidson, Wake Forest, U. of Richmond, William and Mary, UVA.
Your daughter would benefit from talking to a college counselor and narrowing down the style of school she will want.
And what she might be interested in majoring in, although at this point it might not be that important.
Your daughter would benefit from talking to a college counselor and narrowing down the style of school she will want.
And what she might be interested in majoring in, although at this point it might not be that important.
Oct 3rd, 2007, 11:12 AM
#22
Relax take a deep breath. Realize that she will end up where she should be. Your job is to chaffeur her and then, maybe, to make sure she has applied to a range that includes stretch, good fit, and sure-thing schools that she would be happy to attend.
Forget the reputation stuff and if you need confirmation of that, read last weeks NY Times Sunday mag. Duke is not worth the money if she is miserable there.
Forget the reputation stuff and if you need confirmation of that, read last weeks NY Times Sunday mag. Duke is not worth the money if she is miserable there.
Oct 3rd, 2007, 12:11 PM
#23
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Birdie's advice is best so far!
As for Toor's book -- take it with a big CHUNK of salt. She took a lot of heat for it because it's finally more about how working at Duke struck HER, and it's a good thing she didn't go on in academic administration because she was "telling tales out of school" and not always accurately. The business of alumni's kids getting preference is disappearing rapidly (just too many of them).
But on the other hand, it's certainly true that admissions offices tend to hire 20-somethings not long out of college because they think they'll appeal to new applicants more. So some admissions people are -- forgive me -- immature and thinking more in terms of whether they'd like an applicant as a roommate than whether the applicant would make the campus a better place.
C'est la vie. Mainly: RELAX!! Your daughter's being stressed from every corner. Make yourself her retreat where she knows someone will say "it'll all turn out great, you'll be fine, college -- wherever you go -- will be GREAT!"
As for Toor's book -- take it with a big CHUNK of salt. She took a lot of heat for it because it's finally more about how working at Duke struck HER, and it's a good thing she didn't go on in academic administration because she was "telling tales out of school" and not always accurately. The business of alumni's kids getting preference is disappearing rapidly (just too many of them).
But on the other hand, it's certainly true that admissions offices tend to hire 20-somethings not long out of college because they think they'll appeal to new applicants more. So some admissions people are -- forgive me -- immature and thinking more in terms of whether they'd like an applicant as a roommate than whether the applicant would make the campus a better place.
C'est la vie. Mainly: RELAX!! Your daughter's being stressed from every corner. Make yourself her retreat where she knows someone will say "it'll all turn out great, you'll be fine, college -- wherever you go -- will be GREAT!"
Oct 3rd, 2007, 12:34 PM
#24
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I am a professional college consultant. If you want to learn more about my services you can go to www.abbysiegel.com. This is what I do for a living after 10 years as a college counselor in a high school. The book you mentioned was written by someone who did not work at Duke for very long and I agree with the previous poster that it should just be taken with a grain of salt.
Good luck and if you are interested in working with me let me know.
Good luck and if you are interested in working with me let me know.
Oct 3rd, 2007, 01:11 PM
#25
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Have you looked at the most current Fiske Guide? We liked that reference book the most, for its straight-forward pros and cons of each school. It only addresses the upper echelon schools, though. You can usually find it at the public library, if you don't want to buy a copy.
We didn't see the need for hiring a college counselor for either of our two kids. Using the internet, Fiske, sites the kids would go to for college students' feedback, high school counselors, etc.-- we had plenty of help. The tough part is deciding what your student wants in a school, to narrow the field.
Your student sounds like a strong candidate, and there are merit scholarships out there. One Jesuit school offered our daughter $100,000. She ended up accepting the Hodson Scholarship from Hopkins ($80,000!). A huge help, needless to say. You don't apply for the Hodson, they choose you from all the applicants they get. I think they award about 20 of them each year, out of the 10,000 applicant pool.
Good luck. The college app process is a killer, but your student will end up someplace well-suited no doubt.
>-
We didn't see the need for hiring a college counselor for either of our two kids. Using the internet, Fiske, sites the kids would go to for college students' feedback, high school counselors, etc.-- we had plenty of help. The tough part is deciding what your student wants in a school, to narrow the field.
Your student sounds like a strong candidate, and there are merit scholarships out there. One Jesuit school offered our daughter $100,000. She ended up accepting the Hodson Scholarship from Hopkins ($80,000!). A huge help, needless to say. You don't apply for the Hodson, they choose you from all the applicants they get. I think they award about 20 of them each year, out of the 10,000 applicant pool.
Good luck. The college app process is a killer, but your student will end up someplace well-suited no doubt.
>-
Oct 3rd, 2007, 01:19 PM
#26
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In addition to advice I gave above - you again have my empathy. Our household is so stressed out by college trauma and drama that dtr and I are going away this weekend (Portland, Maine) and the only rule is that we are going to have a good time and not disucss college admission at all.
Oct 3rd, 2007, 03:49 PM
#28
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Oh WOW!! The day I relax will be the day she's accepted and that will last until the financial package comes in and we see how much debt we will be in!!!
MaureenB:I'll check out the Fiske Guide
I've been all over the net looking at college reviews
Ya'll have been a big help--it's nice to be able to bounce ideas off people...oh man, this is aging me!!!
MaureenB:I'll check out the Fiske Guide
I've been all over the net looking at college reviews
Ya'll have been a big help--it's nice to be able to bounce ideas off people...oh man, this is aging me!!!
Oct 3rd, 2007, 05:42 PM
#29
So you think the application part is difficult...just wait until your kid gets in, then the fun starts. All the paperwork for the school and the financial aid. Then you have to buy everything your kid needs for 10 months and fit it into half a room.
Oct 4th, 2007, 07:00 AM
#30
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I want to raise a couple of issues based on my experience as the college dean who got to decide whether your kid was in or out when they had a bad freshman (or other) year. What helped kids succeed and what helped them to fail?
1. College readiness. Just because all their friends are going to college this fall or next doesn't make it a good idea for your kid to go as well, esp. if he or she has not spent much time away from home, has no compelling reason to go to college, and has become an experienced partier in high school. Save some money and keep them home until they are mature enough to benefit from the experience. European and UK kids increasingly take gap years to travel, and they typically start college a year later than Americans already.
2. Decide carefully between a small college and a large one. In a large university your child may feel isolated and have trouble making friends; in a small college, everyone knows on Saturday morning what your kid did Friday night. Universities can be coldly anonymous but there is no privacy in small colleges.
3. Recognize that the person you drop off for freshman week is going to be an adult when she graduates. Reflect on the fact that about half of us meet the person we eventually marry while we are in college. Scary, isn't it?
4. Therefore, do not be a helicopter parent. If you want your student to have a miserable time, call him every day, call his professors when he does badly, be nosy about and interfere in his life as much as possible. Don't let him grow up.
5. Do yourself a favor and find a college near an airline hub if you are not within easy driving distance of the campus. You won't have to pick them up and deliver them to college, and they won't have to drive. Every year kids get killed on road trips home for various vacations. It is a predictable tragedy.
1. College readiness. Just because all their friends are going to college this fall or next doesn't make it a good idea for your kid to go as well, esp. if he or she has not spent much time away from home, has no compelling reason to go to college, and has become an experienced partier in high school. Save some money and keep them home until they are mature enough to benefit from the experience. European and UK kids increasingly take gap years to travel, and they typically start college a year later than Americans already.
2. Decide carefully between a small college and a large one. In a large university your child may feel isolated and have trouble making friends; in a small college, everyone knows on Saturday morning what your kid did Friday night. Universities can be coldly anonymous but there is no privacy in small colleges.
3. Recognize that the person you drop off for freshman week is going to be an adult when she graduates. Reflect on the fact that about half of us meet the person we eventually marry while we are in college. Scary, isn't it?
4. Therefore, do not be a helicopter parent. If you want your student to have a miserable time, call him every day, call his professors when he does badly, be nosy about and interfere in his life as much as possible. Don't let him grow up.
5. Do yourself a favor and find a college near an airline hub if you are not within easy driving distance of the campus. You won't have to pick them up and deliver them to college, and they won't have to drive. Every year kids get killed on road trips home for various vacations. It is a predictable tragedy.
Oct 4th, 2007, 09:24 AM
#31
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Wow, Ackislander, how to scare a parent! Do you have kids yourself? What size place were you "dean" of?
Have had to deal with helicopter parents as a teacher but have also had to deal with college administrations so hostile to parents that some serious problems got dangerously out of hand before anyone decided to believe parents on an issue instead of telling them to take a hike.
No, you shouldn't hover and should be giving your kids their wings, but NO you shouldn't abandon being their advocate if you see things going wrong.
And what was the point of talking about dropping off a child and graduating an adult who's already met their future spouse? Yes, your kid will grow a lot in college, but they don't do it in the first week there.
The first semester can be rocky for both students and parents and finger-shaking at anyone probably isn't helpful.
The business of scary stories of kids dying on car trips home is just over-the-top if what you're trying to do is give parents the confidence that their kids can take care of themselves.
Although your comments about large vs. small places are valuable, the rest of your comments are IMHO a little weird.
Have had to deal with helicopter parents as a teacher but have also had to deal with college administrations so hostile to parents that some serious problems got dangerously out of hand before anyone decided to believe parents on an issue instead of telling them to take a hike.
No, you shouldn't hover and should be giving your kids their wings, but NO you shouldn't abandon being their advocate if you see things going wrong.
And what was the point of talking about dropping off a child and graduating an adult who's already met their future spouse? Yes, your kid will grow a lot in college, but they don't do it in the first week there.
The first semester can be rocky for both students and parents and finger-shaking at anyone probably isn't helpful.
The business of scary stories of kids dying on car trips home is just over-the-top if what you're trying to do is give parents the confidence that their kids can take care of themselves.
Although your comments about large vs. small places are valuable, the rest of your comments are IMHO a little weird.
Oct 4th, 2007, 09:54 AM
#32
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Dear HKP,
There is so much worry over things that don't matter (nice dorms, pretty campus, good climate) that it sometimes pays to stop and take a look at some of the things that do.
Academic excellence, a wide variety of course offerings, and an intellectually and culturally diverse student body and faculty are the most important for intellectual and personal growth. But I assume that everyone knows that.
Every single one of the schools the posters wrote about provides a fine education and has hordes of loyal alumni. Thus a successful college experience depends not on the institution but on the student and sometimes on the parents. Not everyone stops to think about that.
Yes, you are right. The vacation trip issue is over the top. Withdrawn.
There is so much worry over things that don't matter (nice dorms, pretty campus, good climate) that it sometimes pays to stop and take a look at some of the things that do.
Academic excellence, a wide variety of course offerings, and an intellectually and culturally diverse student body and faculty are the most important for intellectual and personal growth. But I assume that everyone knows that.
Every single one of the schools the posters wrote about provides a fine education and has hordes of loyal alumni. Thus a successful college experience depends not on the institution but on the student and sometimes on the parents. Not everyone stops to think about that.
Yes, you are right. The vacation trip issue is over the top. Withdrawn.
Oct 4th, 2007, 10:21 AM
#33
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I do think it's important to consider the location of the school in relation to an airport; the location of the airport in regards to winter weather; and whether or not nonstop flights will be possible.
Because over the four years, the airfare and ground transportation to and from the campus really adds up. Our last school was a $40 cab ride to and from the campus/airport. That added $80 to each trip. Sometimes it was possible to share a cab, or to take a shuttle, but not usually so. Shuttles wouldn't show up reliably, and friends' travel schedules vary widely. At least she could travel non-stop by air.
Our current campus is just a $10 cab ride from the airport, and a non-stop route, so that's as good as it gets.
>-
Because over the four years, the airfare and ground transportation to and from the campus really adds up. Our last school was a $40 cab ride to and from the campus/airport. That added $80 to each trip. Sometimes it was possible to share a cab, or to take a shuttle, but not usually so. Shuttles wouldn't show up reliably, and friends' travel schedules vary widely. At least she could travel non-stop by air.
Our current campus is just a $10 cab ride from the airport, and a non-stop route, so that's as good as it gets.
>-
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