Coach your kids traveling alone for the first time...
Apr 7th, 2006, 08:49 AM
#21
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While I like to look around on this board, I have done very little travel myself, due to financial issues.
We are, however, this summer, sending our 15 yr old daughter to a camp in Minnesota and she will be flying alone from Cincinnati to Minneapolis. This whole discussion has really gotten me thinking.
As an inexperienced traveler, I'm not even sure what to tell her to do in case of certain situations because I'm not sure I'd imagine what those situations could be. It never would have occured to me that her flight could be cancelled once she's already on the plane!
So, please, could you give me a breif run down of the more common unexpected situations I should coach her about handling...and if there is a definate "best way" of handling those situations. Thanks!
We are, however, this summer, sending our 15 yr old daughter to a camp in Minnesota and she will be flying alone from Cincinnati to Minneapolis. This whole discussion has really gotten me thinking.
As an inexperienced traveler, I'm not even sure what to tell her to do in case of certain situations because I'm not sure I'd imagine what those situations could be. It never would have occured to me that her flight could be cancelled once she's already on the plane!
So, please, could you give me a breif run down of the more common unexpected situations I should coach her about handling...and if there is a definate "best way" of handling those situations. Thanks!
Apr 7th, 2006, 08:54 AM
#22
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I forgot to thank TxTravelPro for the compassionate act.
I guess we're beating a dead horse here. We're all travelers, and most of our close family members have either heard enough of our experiences, or will ask us, so that they are somewhat armed with some knowledge of what can be done in certain circumstances.
I am sure the ones who need some of the advice given here are not reading this.
And I agree that common sense cannot be taught; Some highly educated people have none.
I guess we're beating a dead horse here. We're all travelers, and most of our close family members have either heard enough of our experiences, or will ask us, so that they are somewhat armed with some knowledge of what can be done in certain circumstances.
I am sure the ones who need some of the advice given here are not reading this.
And I agree that common sense cannot be taught; Some highly educated people have none.
Apr 7th, 2006, 08:58 AM
#23
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I think TxTravelpro's latest post clarifies the situation as it was and points out the fact that many, many people are not as well equipped to travel and handle things on their own as we might expect. Each of our "circle of friends" is different, but more likely to be seasoned travellers than the gereral public.
Where I work we send work crews out of town all the time. Sometimes I think the young guys have never been away from home before at all.
I applaud TxTravelPro for her kind act. The fact that the girl entered her car is disturbing, but TxTravelPro was also taking a risk. Hopefully all worked out well.
Where I work we send work crews out of town all the time. Sometimes I think the young guys have never been away from home before at all.
I applaud TxTravelPro for her kind act. The fact that the girl entered her car is disturbing, but TxTravelPro was also taking a risk. Hopefully all worked out well.
Apr 7th, 2006, 09:10 AM
#24
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I too was a little surprised at the comments that because everyone in certain people's social circles travels and then goes away from home to college at age 18, that every kid everywhere should be able to figure out the logistics of travel. Plenty of people do not travel as kids.
From my own personal experience - I was on a plane once as a child. I was 17 before I left my home state - California, which is pretty big, but still. All our vacations were road trips - either to visit family or outdoor type vacations to the coast or the Sierras. My parents didn't have the money to take us across country and certainly not overseas. We were not poor by any means, just didn't have much disposable income.
From my own personal experience - I was on a plane once as a child. I was 17 before I left my home state - California, which is pretty big, but still. All our vacations were road trips - either to visit family or outdoor type vacations to the coast or the Sierras. My parents didn't have the money to take us across country and certainly not overseas. We were not poor by any means, just didn't have much disposable income.
Apr 7th, 2006, 10:38 AM
#25
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I am also of the generation and economic background that took road trips growing up. I only knew a few people who took vacations by plane... and we were not poor.
I was in my 20's before I boarded a plane.
But I was a scrappy kid who could have managed if I were stranded. I have an unreal sense of direction and am quite aggressive by nature.
My daughter grew up in planes and at airports. She was on her own periodically as a 'pampered' tourist from the age of 15. Meaning, she traveled with me frequently and I would allow her to sight see while I was at work. This was in SFO, London, NYC and other large cities. She got lost and sometimes people were mean to her but she was ok, had plenty of money, a cell phone and a luxury hotel within a few blocks. I was always close by but still a little uneasy.
Looking back, I think it was good for her to experience some freedom in unfamiliar places. I still do not think that she is ready (at 20) for 'real' travel but for different reasons.
She is way too trusting. She does not seem to have that intuition that I had as a young woman.
But she would have called a cab yesterday or just said "screw it" and grabbed a cot (or chair) in the terminal. DFW is a pretty good sleeping terminal.
I was in my 20's before I boarded a plane.
But I was a scrappy kid who could have managed if I were stranded. I have an unreal sense of direction and am quite aggressive by nature.
My daughter grew up in planes and at airports. She was on her own periodically as a 'pampered' tourist from the age of 15. Meaning, she traveled with me frequently and I would allow her to sight see while I was at work. This was in SFO, London, NYC and other large cities. She got lost and sometimes people were mean to her but she was ok, had plenty of money, a cell phone and a luxury hotel within a few blocks. I was always close by but still a little uneasy.
Looking back, I think it was good for her to experience some freedom in unfamiliar places. I still do not think that she is ready (at 20) for 'real' travel but for different reasons.
She is way too trusting. She does not seem to have that intuition that I had as a young woman.
But she would have called a cab yesterday or just said "screw it" and grabbed a cot (or chair) in the terminal. DFW is a pretty good sleeping terminal.
Apr 7th, 2006, 10:49 AM
#27
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Let's give this girl a credit - at least she was not crying! I probably would at that age!
One of my sons got stranded on the east coast on the way to Europe. His decision was to call home
and after discussing the situation with me the rest of the trip was smooth.
Sure, talking to children about emergency situations helps. And not only during travels. In the everyday life, too.
And don't forget elderly people. Talk to your parents "what if..." if they go on vacations.
One of my sons got stranded on the east coast on the way to Europe. His decision was to call home
and after discussing the situation with me the rest of the trip was smooth. Sure, talking to children about emergency situations helps. And not only during travels. In the everyday life, too.
And don't forget elderly people. Talk to your parents "what if..." if they go on vacations.
Apr 7th, 2006, 11:15 AM
#28
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I said "But.....at 18, most of the kids I know have and can travel alone with no problems. They go to Europe and all over the US. "
That does not mean anything about the "social circles" that I move in..and btw-what if it did? What does that have to do with anything?
We lived in Manhattan . My son went to school with kids who went to Europe backpacking on summer vacations, they went to Europe or on cruises as Spring Break or Graduation.
Mine went alone when they graduated from College..maybe things are different in smaller towns, NYC has such a predominance of people from all sorts of economic levels as well as from other countries.. I moved alone to California from NC when I was a kid..so in my frame of reference, this 18 year old should have been old enough to have coped better...Thank goodness TxTravelPro is a nice person!
That does not mean anything about the "social circles" that I move in..and btw-what if it did? What does that have to do with anything?
We lived in Manhattan . My son went to school with kids who went to Europe backpacking on summer vacations, they went to Europe or on cruises as Spring Break or Graduation.
Mine went alone when they graduated from College..maybe things are different in smaller towns, NYC has such a predominance of people from all sorts of economic levels as well as from other countries.. I moved alone to California from NC when I was a kid..so in my frame of reference, this 18 year old should have been old enough to have coped better...Thank goodness TxTravelPro is a nice person!
Apr 7th, 2006, 11:36 AM
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Virginia, I'm really confused by your comments. You make it sound as if only wealthy kids travel and therefore they are more likely to be indenpendent if they travel on their own. The issue really isn't about where they travel to or how much money they have. The real issue is if they've ever had to do anything on their own or not.
Did you ever hear the term "street smart"? It usually applies to the poorer kids who learn on the street how to function on their own rather than rely on their parents or a nanny to make their decisions for them.
I would think that the 18 year old girl sitting there lost and not knowing what to do would normally be MORE likely to be a "rich" girl (to use your words). The "poor" kid who had to learn to do things for himself would have been more likely to go ask and figure it out instead of just sitting there waiting for someone to come along to do it for her.
If you see an 18 year old scared to be on her own, my guess is that she has probably been more sheltered and had things done for her. The "street wise" kid would have gone into action somehow.
I agree that TxTravelPro was very kind to help her out, in any case.
Did you ever hear the term "street smart"? It usually applies to the poorer kids who learn on the street how to function on their own rather than rely on their parents or a nanny to make their decisions for them.
I would think that the 18 year old girl sitting there lost and not knowing what to do would normally be MORE likely to be a "rich" girl (to use your words). The "poor" kid who had to learn to do things for himself would have been more likely to go ask and figure it out instead of just sitting there waiting for someone to come along to do it for her.
If you see an 18 year old scared to be on her own, my guess is that she has probably been more sheltered and had things done for her. The "street wise" kid would have gone into action somehow.
I agree that TxTravelPro was very kind to help her out, in any case.
Apr 7th, 2006, 11:45 AM
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mwessel-
As a non rev minor who traveled alone for decades to visit family, I would like to repond to your query..thinking back, I am trying to recall what I was told, or how I handled situations...We always had a meeting place and I was to stay put until someone got me, I was always clear on who would and would not be picking me up. I was clear on the fact that no one would be pulling up saying "my parents told me to get you" uh uh. Dad worked for the airline, so I became familiar with their uniforms and to ask someone in uniform for help. Back then (late 70's, early 80's) I was escorted by a stew until I was handed over to a parent meeting me, and they had a paper with their name and they checked it, I remember that. No one ever dropped me off at the airport for me to make my way in until I was probably 13+, I would get off the plane in ATL and make my way outside where dad would be circling. We never had any problems..I always made sure I had a book to keep myself calm and occupied, and carried on my bags so I would not have to wait alone for them...We kept in touch before and after the flts, and it worked for us, I flew all the time. How to take a public bus/shuttle would be helpful info I think for more domestic ground travel, How to handle money in public, how to negotiate/deal/tip with a cab driver and I would emphasize asking someone in a uniform of authority for assistance, not another traveler. And setting a meeting place you use all the time, when daling with a busy place like ATL, we needed a spot we could always go to if I needed to wait. I was also equipped with phone numbers and who to call "if" Dad didn't show, etc...some are guys who worked at the airport as well...That's all I can think of right now...I'm sure more folks have suggestions as well...
As a non rev minor who traveled alone for decades to visit family, I would like to repond to your query..thinking back, I am trying to recall what I was told, or how I handled situations...We always had a meeting place and I was to stay put until someone got me, I was always clear on who would and would not be picking me up. I was clear on the fact that no one would be pulling up saying "my parents told me to get you" uh uh. Dad worked for the airline, so I became familiar with their uniforms and to ask someone in uniform for help. Back then (late 70's, early 80's) I was escorted by a stew until I was handed over to a parent meeting me, and they had a paper with their name and they checked it, I remember that. No one ever dropped me off at the airport for me to make my way in until I was probably 13+, I would get off the plane in ATL and make my way outside where dad would be circling. We never had any problems..I always made sure I had a book to keep myself calm and occupied, and carried on my bags so I would not have to wait alone for them...We kept in touch before and after the flts, and it worked for us, I flew all the time. How to take a public bus/shuttle would be helpful info I think for more domestic ground travel, How to handle money in public, how to negotiate/deal/tip with a cab driver and I would emphasize asking someone in a uniform of authority for assistance, not another traveler. And setting a meeting place you use all the time, when daling with a busy place like ATL, we needed a spot we could always go to if I needed to wait. I was also equipped with phone numbers and who to call "if" Dad didn't show, etc...some are guys who worked at the airport as well...That's all I can think of right now...I'm sure more folks have suggestions as well...
Apr 7th, 2006, 11:48 AM
#31
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rb, sorry, you did say that -- overlooked mainly due to the hour.
I don't always see traveling as getting on a plane and flying to an exotic destination.
Modeling occurs in all socio-economic levels. When my kids needed to ride the subway, they were given a map and shown how to navigate the system.
When the youngest kid got a summer job, and the oldest needed the car, we gave him a bus schedule and showed him how to figure it out. Lots of kids in the suburbs wouldn't be caught ever riding the bus, my goodness! But he did.
I rarely traveled with my parents, and if we did, it was always by car. However, when I was fifteen years old, I flew all by myself to Germany to stay with my grandparents for the summer. My flight out of JFK was late and as a result, I missed my connecting flight from Frankfurt to Hamburg. Someone from the airline was supposed to meet me at the gate, but they never showed up. Although I had good command of the language, I was frightened, but remembered words of wisdom from my mother and aunt -- if there's a problem go to the information desk. I did exactly that. I handed them my grandparents telephone number (pre cell phone days) and they called to let them know that I would be on the next flight. A combination of preparedness and common sense.
TTP, thank you for helping this young women.
I don't always see traveling as getting on a plane and flying to an exotic destination.
Modeling occurs in all socio-economic levels. When my kids needed to ride the subway, they were given a map and shown how to navigate the system.
When the youngest kid got a summer job, and the oldest needed the car, we gave him a bus schedule and showed him how to figure it out. Lots of kids in the suburbs wouldn't be caught ever riding the bus, my goodness! But he did.
I rarely traveled with my parents, and if we did, it was always by car. However, when I was fifteen years old, I flew all by myself to Germany to stay with my grandparents for the summer. My flight out of JFK was late and as a result, I missed my connecting flight from Frankfurt to Hamburg. Someone from the airline was supposed to meet me at the gate, but they never showed up. Although I had good command of the language, I was frightened, but remembered words of wisdom from my mother and aunt -- if there's a problem go to the information desk. I did exactly that. I handed them my grandparents telephone number (pre cell phone days) and they called to let them know that I would be on the next flight. A combination of preparedness and common sense.
TTP, thank you for helping this young women.
Apr 7th, 2006, 12:15 PM
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Neopolitan: Wow, you sure don't know the same poor kids that I know, circa 2006. They like to appear "street smart" and on their own street, they MAY be.
But they are not, once they are out of their neighborhood comfort zones.
In fact they often do almost stupid, irrational things that involve strange jumps in logic. I'm thinking of one boy about 18 who was extremely intelligent and when we were on a field trip- he lead an entire group in the wrong direction in the LOOP (downtown Chicago). He saw a picture of a fish on the logistics map. It was put ON the part that was Lake Michigan. And he walked toward that direction because to him, he interperted that to mean the Aquarium was there.
International students, not USA, can be some of the worst. I've know two or three 19 year olds that won't venture off the campus without prodding and/or within a group that they can follow. I find it ironic, seeing how far they traveled the one time to get here.
But even today many of the families in my life's circle do NOT travel, can not afford it.Some are in their 40's or 50's and have not flown themselves. They would have no idea how to coach an offspring. Some families I know the only drive trip they've taken is to pick a crop in Mexico.
My girlfriend who is 60 has never been on a plane. The family across the street (from Jordan) does not allow their girls (19, 20) separate travel and their father holds their library cards and checks out their books to censor them. REALLY! As a librarian this just about kills me.
How could you think that all poor kids have travel street smarts, or even middle class with middle income non-traveling families? The ones in your circle might.
In my small town in MI, the kids have little travel experience. I don't think I've meet one that has ever been to Chicago. One family was scared because my name was Italian and I was from Chicago. They are much more apt to accept racial or religious diversity than the "big city" slicker Mafia or gang legacy.
But they are not, once they are out of their neighborhood comfort zones.
In fact they often do almost stupid, irrational things that involve strange jumps in logic. I'm thinking of one boy about 18 who was extremely intelligent and when we were on a field trip- he lead an entire group in the wrong direction in the LOOP (downtown Chicago). He saw a picture of a fish on the logistics map. It was put ON the part that was Lake Michigan. And he walked toward that direction because to him, he interperted that to mean the Aquarium was there.
International students, not USA, can be some of the worst. I've know two or three 19 year olds that won't venture off the campus without prodding and/or within a group that they can follow. I find it ironic, seeing how far they traveled the one time to get here.
But even today many of the families in my life's circle do NOT travel, can not afford it.Some are in their 40's or 50's and have not flown themselves. They would have no idea how to coach an offspring. Some families I know the only drive trip they've taken is to pick a crop in Mexico.
My girlfriend who is 60 has never been on a plane. The family across the street (from Jordan) does not allow their girls (19, 20) separate travel and their father holds their library cards and checks out their books to censor them. REALLY! As a librarian this just about kills me.
How could you think that all poor kids have travel street smarts, or even middle class with middle income non-traveling families? The ones in your circle might.
In my small town in MI, the kids have little travel experience. I don't think I've meet one that has ever been to Chicago. One family was scared because my name was Italian and I was from Chicago. They are much more apt to accept racial or religious diversity than the "big city" slicker Mafia or gang legacy.
Apr 7th, 2006, 12:20 PM
#34
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I'm a little stumped by this too.
To me, this 18 year old seems sheltered and seems like she hasn't had to make a lot of decisions on her own.
I'm not quite sure I'm tying in the money thing.
That said, my two stepdaughters and one friend (18, 23, 21)were completely unable to figure out our family's dining time or dining room on our last cruise even though it was printed on their sign and sail card.
They missed dinner.
To me, this 18 year old seems sheltered and seems like she hasn't had to make a lot of decisions on her own.
I'm not quite sure I'm tying in the money thing.
That said, my two stepdaughters and one friend (18, 23, 21)were completely unable to figure out our family's dining time or dining room on our last cruise even though it was printed on their sign and sail card.
They missed dinner.
Apr 7th, 2006, 12:26 PM
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Yes, JJ5, you have agreed with me. I didn't say that "street smart" meant they would KNOW what they were doing, but rather that they would be more likely to attempt to do something.
My whole point was that the "street smart" kid wouldn't have just sat there waiting for someone to help. As you say the one kid led a whole group the wrong way. I'm not suggesting that's good, I'm just saying that sitting and doing nothing likely indicates a person who has always had everything done for them.
And that brings us back to the original point -- that parents should be teaching their kids how to do things on their own. That doesn't have ethnic, cultural, or economic barriers. Nor does it necessarily have anything to do with backpacking trips to Europe.
My whole point was that the "street smart" kid wouldn't have just sat there waiting for someone to help. As you say the one kid led a whole group the wrong way. I'm not suggesting that's good, I'm just saying that sitting and doing nothing likely indicates a person who has always had everything done for them.
And that brings us back to the original point -- that parents should be teaching their kids how to do things on their own. That doesn't have ethnic, cultural, or economic barriers. Nor does it necessarily have anything to do with backpacking trips to Europe.
Apr 7th, 2006, 01:19 PM
#36
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Plenty of people with limited money and travel experience get to boot camp and then all over the world at 18. Our daughter took all commercial flights while in the military. She ran into problems and solved them. I really think that parents should work on helping their kids become competent in regular activities and letting them try things before they turn 18 and need to go out on their own. Schools have enough to do without having to make sure your kids aren't baffled by getting from one place to another. By the way, some of my other kids would still be hanging around the airport looking confused so I'm not throwing stones.
Apr 7th, 2006, 04:15 PM
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Well - I don;t know what the exact circumstances were here - but it was obviously something odd going on. (And I won;t start on my usual rant about the infantilization of American young people - because I know many others feel it is their job to "protect" their children into adulthood.)
But - either this young woman did have some sort of handicap/impairment - or she was incredibly naive and no one had given any thought to preparing her for her trip.
My first plane ride was at 19 (and my mother has still never been on a plane since she is convincd they can't fly) but I managed to get from NYC to Germany and hook up with my boyfriend in the parking area (he had flown the day ahead because of a special deal) and it was a complete no brainer. That is - assuming the person is of normal intelligence, has even a little common sense, and the tiniest bit of initiative.
(And if any of your 18 year olds don't meet those criteria - shame on them - and on you. And you have protectd them into being very old and large children.)
But - either this young woman did have some sort of handicap/impairment - or she was incredibly naive and no one had given any thought to preparing her for her trip.
My first plane ride was at 19 (and my mother has still never been on a plane since she is convincd they can't fly) but I managed to get from NYC to Germany and hook up with my boyfriend in the parking area (he had flown the day ahead because of a special deal) and it was a complete no brainer. That is - assuming the person is of normal intelligence, has even a little common sense, and the tiniest bit of initiative.
(And if any of your 18 year olds don't meet those criteria - shame on them - and on you. And you have protectd them into being very old and large children.)
I love that line of his.
Apr 7th, 2006, 09:08 PM
#39
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As for schools teaching "life classes"...As a requirement for graduation, all of the kids at my kids' high school have to take a consumer management class. Most of them take it sophomore year. It includes basic things like managing a check book, doing taxes, etc. One of the projects they're required to do for that class is to plan a trip -- budget, transportation plans, hotel reservations, etc. This high school is not particularly cutting edge. If a class like this is required there, I'm somewhat surprised to hear that it's not required everywhere.
Apr 7th, 2006, 10:09 PM
#40
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I think the real problem here is that the girl had not planned to not make it to her destination and when she didn't she didn't know what to do which I don't think would be that uncommon with many teenagers and even young 20's. So many younger children are escorted by the airlines and in bad situations they look out for them but at age 18 you are considered an adult and many kids are, but some are not and have never had to look for a hotel and get themselves from the airport to the hotel. We travel a lot and I know there are more people than her who end up in airports wondering what do they do next. We have helped a number of people figure out where they should go and how to get there. It is especially hard for kids who grow up in small towns and aren't used to big cities and big city airports. I grew up in a very small town and it was a big thing when I started traveling on my own, even tho I had traveled a lot with my parents. I do agree that parents should try to prepare their children for any problem they encounter along the way and tell them what to do, but many parents haven't traveled all that much either. I live in So. CA and I am amazed at how many of my friends have not traveled anywhere but Las Vegas and Hawaii - no other place even interests them. Others have not left S. Ca. So, there are lots of different people out there.
