I think there is a real difference between suburbs and cities. If the community you live in has a city hall and city govenment as well a separate planning department but live close to a much larger city you may have a different experience from those who have no local govenment. Suburbs are reliant on the larger city for their services and end up having no city center to give them a felling of actually being somewhere. I live in a smaller city which has a history and a city govenment and I much prefer living here than in the larger city nearby that has much bigger problems with crime, etc, higher local taxes and difficult education issues.

I typed this in before I went to work this am and I really appreciate all the thoughtful replies. It is an ongoing issue in my life and I can use as many helpful points of view as possible. There are no children at home to factor into this decision.

<I think that living in the city is a young person thing.>

I very much disagree. I *do* think it has to do with your marital and family status though. As a single person, there's nothing I can think of that would be lonelier than living in the 'burbs... at any age!

We lived in the City, NYC for a very long time.
We are now living in Jacksonville Florida where it may be a "city" but it is really a huge suburb.
I think it is fine for people raising children who want big yards and have things keeping them busy without the need for museums, theater, good movies, etc.
I enjoy gardening and walking here, but it is not stimulating in any way.
We are moving to Portland Oregon for this reason. We want to walk out the door and have Life out there! Walk to stores and restaurants, see a play or hear a concert, go to galleries, often.
I grew up in the South, in a country like setting. It was wonderful for a child, but as an adult, I want a city to roam and play in

I grew up in the south suburbs of Chicago and have lived in Chicago proper for about 9 years now (first moved up here in Jan of 1992) and have lived here continually since 1999. I moved away for a bit to transfer from the city schools to a small town in southern Indiana and discovered at that time that I am NOT a small town person. I don't know what my life will hold in the future (I'm in my 30's) but right now I know that I much prefer my little apartment downtown to any suburb or small town that I’ve lived in (although my experiences in a small town was limited to a college town, I don’t know what it is like to actually live in a small town), and if I never had to deal with things like car insurance (I don’t own a car) and yard maintenance again, I certainly would not weep. Not to mention, I have been taking public transportation for so long (ever since my parents loaded us on the train when I was a child), I can’t imagine not having access to it. I guess it is fair to say that I’m your pretty standard city person. I love being able to walk to the subway, the grocery store, a theater, a place to eat or have a drink, etc....

I live in a suburb. I was sick and tired of living in apartments where I could hear my neighbors. Then there was the fire at the complex down the road. I don't want to live somewhere with a common wall with my neighbors again.

Yep, single and in the suburbs. My yard looks great (I do all my own work) and enjoy my little piece (and I do mean little) of land.

I grew up in a neighborhood where I did walk to somethings, but usually rode in the car. In my current neighborhood, I have to drive to everything. I wish I had a more walkable community.

You can live in the suburbs and still have access to good movies, museums, etc - you just have to drive to them (we're just 20 minutes from downtown so it isn't much of a hassle). There is a big difference in living in the suburb of a big city and living somewhere rural. Of course, there is a big difference from one suburb to another as well. Some have all new homes with small lots and others have older homes with more character and larger lots. Some are minutes from a city and others are hours (I couldn't believe in college what some folks considered to be "suburbs of Chicago" that were actually an hour outside the city!). It all depends on what fits your needs.

Yes, I think a lot depends on your stage of life. I grew up in a north suburb of Chicago, and couldn't wait to move to "the city" after college. However, I gravitated to neighborhoods that were less dense, had grass and rees, but were still easily accessible via public transportation.

Once I married and had childen, we lived in the city for a few years, but it just became much easier to move to the suburbs--though my hairdresser told me that "the North Shore is not 'the suburbs.'" I loved the ease of it with small children, and we seemed to have the best of both worlds: both el and train service, a great beach, sidewalks, great community events, schools, etc. The kids could eventually walk or bike everywhere, which is something, oddly enough, that is harder to do in the city because of safety concerns (whether this is really justified or not I won't get into). Everything is tied to the kids, and we loved it in our kid-raising years.

But as soon as our younger daughter left for college, we were off to a more urban suburb, with more diversity, restaurants, etc., even though it was just one suburb over. At first we thought it was great--one enamoured new resident in this part of Evanston exclaimed "it's just like Greenwich Village," but I'm afraid he had lived in Highland Park too long! But eventually we wanted to be closer in, nearer to the opera, symphony, our jobs, etc., and to the full benefits of the city. We looked at various types of housing option--"downtown" in a high-rise, lofts, up-and-coming areas, more established parts of the city, etc.--but ended up on a small leafy street in a small vintage building near the lake, maybe 15 minutes from "downtown."

What are the tradeoffs and how do we like it after a year? We LOVE it!!! We love being close to everything, able to take subway, express buses or cabs, or just walk. We love having a smaller place that is a snap to maintain with no real worries. We love the diversity of our neighborhood, the coziness of it. We do notice that we have to cater to our suburban friends by letting them park in our spaces behind the building. I think some of them cannot even IMAGINE not wanting to have a yard, or the "privacy" of a house. They CLAIM that they can get home after the opera in 20 minutes, but hey, I lived there, I KNOW that isn't really so. Then there are those who really never avail themselves of the cultural attractions of the city, and much prefer the space and quiet of the suburbs. So, luckily, it takes all kinds! Oh, and one funny thing: car insurance is much LOWER in the city, and we no longer have a garage, and do not live in as "nice" of an area, so go figure!

One final point: some of our friends cannot imagine not having rooms for the kids, space for the (eventual) grandchildren, etc. But I, on the other hand, cannot imagine wanting/having to maintain, heat, clean etc. all that space that goes unused 10-11 months of the year. But then, when my daughter and her roommates were in for Thanksgiving this year, my upstairs neighbor let me use her place for them to stay in! She was off to Michigan for the holiday!

I like the best of both worlds. I don't want to live so far out that there's no transit, I couldn't walk to anything, or I had to travel away from my town for shopping, services, restaurants, and entertainment. On the other hand, I also don't want to live where it's too dense, too noisy, or too busy. Thankfully, where I live meets that criteria. I live in a quiet apartment complex that's surrounded by trees and green space, yet I'm less than a mile from my city's downtown and everything I need is either a short walk or bus ride away.

I have a friend who lives in Great Neck, Long Island and he can't understand how I survive in the suburbs without a car. His concept of the 'burbs are gated communities, big box chains, and no transit or services, but as several people said above, not all suburbs are created equally. I've tried explaining to him that my town is actually a small city with a center that has no shortage of amenities, but he doesn't grasp it.

When I was younger, I used to dream of owning a big house. Then when I was in college, I lived in a 3 bedroom townhouse that was about 1500 square feet and living there, I realized that was about all the space I wanted to deal with as far as maintenance and keeping it clean. However, I would like to have a decent yard as opposed to a postage stamp size lots that are so in vogue nowadays.

I am really struck by the generosity of time and thought given to the responses on this thread. As the person who posed the question, I am grateful for the input and welcome as many points of view as you are all willing to share....

My DH was born and raised in one of the boroughs of Manhattan. He had a relatively easy commute by subway to and from work. When we got married, he/we decided that property and space to move about was something that we really wanted to share together so we moved to the suburbs.

We have lived in the suburbs for 26 years and have raised two kids here - we really wouldn't change anything. We feel that we, as well as our kids, have had the best of both worlds. Easy access to the train, the city, the museums, theater, shops, and dining. My kids have played both in our village parks as well as Central Park.

Our two-square mile village has a governing body and all of our services are self-contained: police, fire, sanitation. But of course, we pay the big bucks for that luxury and quality of life issues are so big, that we have our own enforcement officer to handle offenders. We have a historic district in our village as well as strict codes in order to prevent it from becoming something different.

Is it a perfect place to live? Sometimes no, but mostly yes. If the real estate market is any indication the answer would be a resounding yes. Plenty of city dwellers just waiting for someone to move so they can snatch up their piece of land (and a spot in our award winning schools).

We're going to continue to hang on to what we have, for a bit at least. But will we move into the city? No, we'll wait for one of our sons to do that. In the meanwhile, we'll just catch a train

Coincidental that you would ask. As I was pulling weeds in the back yard of my suburban Portland the other day, I was envying friends who recently moved into a downtown condo, and who I imagined at that time were having a glass of wine as they perused a gallery in the Pearl. But they don't have kids.

When ours are out of the house, my wife and I will consider a move back into the city. Aside from the obvious appeals of city life, a motivator for us would be the hope of easier home exchanges (speaking of travel!).

I've lived in cities, suburbs and now, definitely country. There are pluses to each. I now have to drive further to a Thai or Greek restaurant - but without traffic it takes the same amount of time.

Thank goodness for Priceline and biddingfortravel. Now, when I need a city fix, I stay at a 4 star hotel in the midst of everything - but don't have to deal with the traffic the rest of the week!

Hmmm... 32 posts and only one poster is definitive on their preference and "can't imagine" living elsewhere.

I can't imagine being that definitive without experiencing other options. Would be a very limited life to me.

I coudn't imagine living rural until dh and I bought our first house. He grew up in the country and I agreed we could buy the house on 1+ acre of land with no city water (cistern) if he agreed by the time our kids were school age we could move to a neighborhood/suburb. Well my kids are now preschool age and we recently moved to the suburbs (where I grew up).

Funny thing is, I can't wait to move back to more rural setting when our kids go to college. I couldn't handle being too far from the city, but I love having my piece of land to walk around on.

This thread has given me so much food for thought, altho in the end, just like the traveler w/the broken heart (on another thread) the decision has to be made by the person her/himself.

Yesterday we saw a condo in the small city I have yearned to live in for many years and a decision to make an offer and act on my feelings, that should be easy to do turns not to be so easy...Choosing one life--or any choice for that matter--means losing another one.

A note of levity to underscore the importance of perspective--we saw Jerry Seinfeld at one of his tour stops a couple years ago and he told this anecdote. Glen Miller, the famous 40's band leader, and his musicians had to make an emergency landing of the small plane they were on in the snow and then had to trek across a field on foot. They passed a cozy well lit home and looked in and saw a family around the table. He remarked to his band members, "How do these people live like this??"

Hmmm..... wonder if there is any correlation to choices in where/ how to live and travel styles?

In my youth I was virtually confident on where/how I would live and in my mid-20's after a major life change I decided to see "go with the flow" more. I have lived in places I had not previously imagined living...and think I could be happy living in many other environments. I'm a "planner" but a strong believer in serendipity on trips and will adjust or even toss out the Plan A itinerary and have a completely different trip than planned.

I wonder if those who have ever lived in one type of place or think they "would NEVER live in X,Y OR Z" are more rigid in their travels, i.e. stick to the plan, no matter what.

Just an idea. I have no idea if there is any correlation.

"I wonder if those who have ever lived in one type of place or think they "would NEVER live in X,Y OR Z" are more rigid in their travels, i.e. stick to the plan, no matter what."

Answer: No