"...the doctor highly recommends that I be quarantined, so I will head directly to the hospital after I disembark the plane."

Ms.Scarlett,
Who?

No. Mi bella, Amore di Italia!

Kal~ Off to watch the telly and see what transpires. Then we can all bellow about it on the cell phones tomorrow on the airplanes

Scarlett,

> CIAO BABY!!!!

All the insecure people in the world will finally be able to feel validated on a plane!

Patrick - Using a dummy cell phone could be priceless - Pretend that you think the person next to you is talking to you and respond to everything they say.

Kal, Do I think that Italians speak loud ooooh, no way. I am sure. Of course after being around West Coast Italians (West Coast-CA) all my life and all my trips to Italy maybe my hearing is not as good as it used to be, burst eardrum perhaps? But I never never accused Italians of talking loud DID I???? I
DO NOT THINK I DID, HONEST. WHAAAAAT????
Actually a Dr. a year ago told me that I had a bent right eardrum. Can I blame that on the Italians? Oh I hope so.

I do wish that I could be on a flight with Patrick when "he does his thing" it would make a long flight to short!

I was also thinking of listening carefully to what the person is saying, then working it into the conversation I'm "having". After his mentioning buying stock in Amalgamated Cardboard, I casually say into my phone, "Doris, did you finish the briefs for that big lawsuit against Amalgamated Cardboard. We've got to wrap that up BEFORE they file Chapter 11."

no no no no no no no no no no no!

OK Patrick, somewhere on another thread you caused a Fodorite to spray her computer screen thanks to your funny post. Oh yeah, think that was on the Big Butt thread? Did you offer to reimburse for the damage you caused? Think you did, but didn't.
Well - thanks to you I just dribbled a mouth full of wine over the outfit I am wearing. Soooo, I am having a fit!
I really really want to be on that flight you will be on (either the row ahead of you or the row behind or on the other side of the "cell talking person" that is sitting next to you.
I assume you will have the window seat, the yakker will have the middle seat and I can have the aisle seat so I can escape from time to time when I am more than doubled over laughing.
Have you thought of making this into a movie? You would become famous and really rich. Which means than you could have your own jet and leave this rest of us to have to deal with the "blah, blah, blah" passengers next to us.
But do continue - better than reading a novel!

How about this for a faux conversation script:
"And I am so glad that I checked on the Fodors board and got that coupon for 75% off the airfare for this flight..."

Apparently cell phones don't interfere with communications as it's always been claimed. I always thought that claim to be bogus, otherwise why wouldn't terrorists just all make cell calls simoulaneously & bring down aircraft??

But no matter that part of any argument, I'm in no hurry to see increased cell use. What gets me are the new "walkie-talkie" type ones. Now I get to hear BOTH sides of the conversation! barf!

I remember hearing a comedian joking about giving cell phones to those who walk urban areas talking to themselves. With a cellphone to their ear no one would question the rantings!

" The doctor said that when I expel this malodorous, uncontrollable gas, that more than likely I can expect an accompanying dark, oily discharge."

I can't even imagine having to listen to a cell phone while stuck on a plane. I commute every day by train and its bad enough listening to these morons broadcasting their entire lives over the phone for everyone to hear. And so many times you hear 'call me on my cell, xxx-xxx-xxxx.' I am so tempted to write down the number and then call that person and give them a piece of my mind!

How will cell phones even work up there?

My favorite is when people broadcast their social and/or credit card # loudly enough for an entire busload to hear. Then when they say "can you hear me now?", I always answer, "we all can!".

Most phones don't work over 15,000 feet or so... I wonder if that is something controlled by the phone companies?
I mean, do you suppose that they can "fix" that right away?

Perhaps if everyone sent a letter to the airlines that they would not fly with jibbering cell-phone idiots, they would control it?

about cell phones not working up there. do any of you remember all the people talking on their cell phones from the planes on 9/11?

I thought they were talking on the airplane phones.

this COULD be rectified by making it a mandatory 2 bucks a minute call.

an article I read this AM also noted that this will be unpopular for another reason - before, a business traveler could escape however briefly his wireless chains by boarding a plane. now there is no reason why he cannot join a conference call, etc. (well, apart from the stupidity of discussing business on an airplane).

can you imagine someone yapping all night on an overnight flight to London, or somewhere even farther away??

NOOOOOO! I hate cell phones and the Nextel-style two-way pagers.

Please, for the love of basketball, make this not true.