hockeymom

I have a question about taking kids' friends on vacation. We want to do a short road trip this summer, maybe four nights, and the kids each want to bring a friend. I do like the friends they want to bring and know we would all get along. My questions are regarding what do we pay for, what do they pay for? We would obviously pay for lodging and mealtime food and snacks at the condo, but if we're out somewhere and they want a soda or an ice cream and my kids aren't getting anything, do I pay for them? We've never thought about taking other kids along before so I'm not quite sure how to handle it. If we go to a waterpark or amusement park, do we pay for them? I'm just curious what other people do.

Thanks for your help.

seetheworld

For me it would be simple...

If I do the inviting, I do the paying.

I'm sure you'll get plenty of advice. These topics always seem to generate plenty.

Good luck!

wsoxrebel

If the childrens' friends routinely spend money while on outings (and you know the family is not financially strapped at this time) then it is OK to invite the kids and suggest the parents supply their own spending money for trinkets. At this point, most parents who can afford it will chip in extra. But you really do want the friends to come and not have to say no because of money concerns, right?

Fodorite018

Ditto what Seetheworld said.

starrsville

I agree. Other than "spending money" their parents may send on extras, I would anticipate paying their way.

Whatever you decide, make sure all parents are aware of the plan - and agree to it before you go.

Also, get a written (and notarized) letter granting permission to obtain medical care for the minors in case of emergency.

nytraveler

Agree - if you're inviting the kids on a road trip you pay - except for the normal spending money these kids would have for their own use.

However, I would mention this to the parentsin advance - and will be surprised if they don;t offer to chip in for something (meals or a special treat or something) unless they're financially strapped.

Sunshinesue

We have taken several vacations with our kid's friends along, including to the Virgin Islands and Costa Rica. Our policy has always been to pay for lodging and meals. Of course, if we are getting ice cream or a snack and we are all together, we pay. If the kids are off by themselves and want something extra they pay. I think it would be unlikely that your kid's friends would want to get something to eat if no one else is, but if I were there I would pay.

This may also depend on how old the kids are. The older they are, the more likely they are to be out without parents so the more likely they would be to need to pay for something on their own.

tcapp

First, is it ok with you if the friends go with you? What are your needs and wants on this trip? Would it be fun to have the friends along, or do you feel like your family needs some "reconnecting time" alone? Start with this question first.
If you decide it might be ok for the friends to go, you may want to do a "trial run" first. Take these friends with you somewhere for the entire day, or invite them to go overnight with you somewhere. This will give you a better idea as to what to expect on the vacation.
If all goes well, and you still want to do this, I would decide what you are and are not willing to pay for in advance, and then talk to the parents.
If you're paying for the food and lodging, the friends should definatly be bringing along some spending money of their own. I don't see anything wrong with asking the friends to pay their own way to a major attraction, if they're in a position to do so.
Sometimes it's nice to pay the way for someone who otherwise could not afford to go on a trip like this, but if they have the means, I would not hesitate to have them pay for some things if they want to come.

Sunshinesue

Oops. I didn't even address the issue of admission to events and attractions. We always pay for these for our kid's friends. Even if they can afford it (and the ones who have gone with us certainly can) I think if you invite someone, it is appropriate to pay their expenses.

Suzie

We took a friend to Mammoth Lakes with us this year for skiing/snowboarding. We paid for everything except the lift tickets and if they decided to eat on the mountian they were all on their own. We were super close to the ski runs so they could have easily come back for lunch. We made it clear about the lift ticket thing ahead of time. Absolutely everything else was paid for by us.

kcapuani

Not to hijack this thread, but I find this topic interesting. What if you invited your child's friend on a trip involving a flight - would you pay for the friend's flight as well? I would expect to pay for meals and lodging. My daughter is only 2.5 but she's an only child so this issue will definitely come up!

hockeymom

Thanks for all of your responses. Most of the replies were what I expected to see. I have friends who have taken their kids' friends and some of them paid for everything (except trinkets/souvenirs), others paid for food and lodging. Someone asked about airline travel, and I've seen that handled with the invited kid paying their airfare. The kids my kids want to invite have spent many nights overnight, sometimes two or three at a time, so I'm not concerned abuot all of us getting along and tolerating each other. It's still not decided if they will bring someone but we'll see what happens. I just want to be sure of how I'm going to handle things from the beginning.

Thank you again.

gail

Seems that every summer a thread such as this appears. If I remember, the consensus has been that, in general, you pay for basic travel, lodging, food.

But any arrangement could work - the key is to get it all discussed parent to parent ahead of time.

BuffaloGirl

My son is 14 1/2 and an only child, and for the past few years we have let him invite someone on vacation. It is SO worth the few extra dollars it costs me.

And yes, for you flamers, we spend a LOT of family together without friends tagging along.

One year he brought a friend to Florida. Friends parents paid for the plane ticket (my request), but I took care of everything else. We were staying in a condo, not planning to eat out 3 meals a day. I covered mini golf, all meals (self cooked and restaurants), ice cream, etc. and all entertainment. The only thing I required is that he bring his own souvenier money.

The past few summers have been spent driving to Cape Cod. The same thing applies (well, no plane fare). We request that the friend brings souvenir/video game money.

I know my son's friends well and their parents, and feel as long as you are up front about it there should be no problem.

I always checked with the parents before the subject of vacation was brought up to the kids. There's nothing wrong with saying "My son/daughter would like to invite your son/daughter on vacation with us. I can afford to pay for this, but not that. Then leave it up to them.

A year or two later after bringing my son's friend to Florida, my son was invited on a road trip to Ottawa, Montreal, and Quebec city with them. They were staying in hotels, not condos, and would be eating meals out. I made sure my son had his own personal souvenier money, and I handed the parents a few hundred bucks to cover restaurant meals.

To specifically answer your question....a short road trip, a water park admission, and some ice cream.....I'd pay. Hopefully, the parents are smart enough to give the kids a few $$$$ of their own if they want a t-shirt. Because you're staying in a condo and cooking for yourselves

BuffaloGirl

Oops, hit the reply button too soon.

Wanted to say that as long as you're cooking most of your meals in the condo, I would also pay for the one or two lunches you might have to pick up while you're out and about.

I have a feeling my answer was all over the place......sorry! I hope some it helped!

ellenbw

My son has travelled for a long weekend with a friend. I paid his airfare and gave the family about $200 for some meals, admissions, etc. My son is beyond the kids meals stage and likes to order a full meal so I feel more comfortable covering at least part of the meals. The boys ended up taking surfing and tennis lessons and going to the zoo. He probably more than used up the $200. I didn't worry about it since we are all very good friends and the kids go back and forth a lot and no one is hurting for money. He also took some spending money for personal souvenirs that he paid for with his own allowance (as usual on our trips). By the way, our rule is that allowance gets doubled while on vacation -a vacation treat!

Although my son hasn't taken a friend on vacation, I think that I would have the other family pay airfare and give their child the personal souvenir spending money, but maybe cover most everything else. As the parent of the guest child - I would insist on sending extra money to cover some meals or "treat" everyone to dinner, etc.

We have also taken my adult (single) stepkids on vacation with us and have a general rule that we cover everything when they are with us - hotel, meals, admissions, etc., but if they are out on their own, they cover their own costs. If we are in Hawaii, they will generally rent their own car to go out on their own a bit. This works out really well.

nina

I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my child's airfare, nor would I pay for my children's friends airfare (our last name isn't Gates), but I would pay for everything else other than personal items or if the kids went off by themselves to a movie or for snacks, etc.

lcuy

I was talking about this to a friend, and she reminded me of one expense you might forget when inviting friends.

She has a pre-teen son and daughter, so when they go as a family they get a suite or two rooms. When they invited 2 firends, they had to get three rooms!

They also had a problem one trip when the two pairs of kids didn't get along due to some friction between the boy and girl invitees.

When one of my kids went skiing with family friends, I gave the parents airfare, lift tickets and money in for meals. I gave DD souvenir/snack funds, and money specifically to buy a souvenir for her friend.

Statia

We just paid for my step-daughter's friend's airfare in order for her to have a friend while visiting us in the islands this summer. We did the inviting and thus also intend to pay for all of her usual expenses while she's here, but do hope that her parents send her with her own personal spending money for souvenirs and other things she might want.

If my own child were invited on a trip I would intend to pay for the airfare/transportation and would hope that the inviting parents would offer to pick up the tab for hotel and meals, but I would certainly offer them some money towards those expenses. If I had to pay my child's hotel and meals, that wouldn't bother me either, but I do feel that when inviting it's usually assumed that those costs will be covered by the inviting family. I would also send personal spending money with my child. That, to me, is a must.

AnnMarie_C

Over spring break a girlfriend of mine took a cruise with her husband and son who was allowed to invite one friend. She made it clear from the beginning that ALL expenses for the friend would be paid for.

Enjoy your vacation!