Melissa

Hello all,

Hubby has a business trip staying at the new Ritz Carlton in Maui in April 08. His air ticket is paid for, and mine will be as well. We are considering schlepping to Maui from Boston with our 2 boys who will be 22 months and 8 months at time of travel. We have traveled with our oldest boy twice to California and he has done well. The 8 month old I am not worried about because he will not be crawling and is pretty happy just being held, which is what we would be doing at our house or on an airplane.

This trip is really an opportunity I am having a hard time saying no to. We could never afford to stay there on our own. Obviously, we won't be doing this for the kids, although I don't want to completely set myself up for a disaster.

I am interested in hearing from individuals who have flown long haul flights with their young children, how they coped, and tips for dealing with jet lag. And when all was done, would you do it again, and why or why not?

Kid haters need not reply, please and thank you. I was once one of you and probably will be again someday.

I thank everyone for their advice in advance.

kealalani

My first thought is are you getting a seat for your children? I am sure you are not considering 2 adults with 2 children on laps......bad idea.

It is a long flight. I have made it many times from Boston. If my schedule was clear, I'd offer to take the kids for the week! LOL!!!!

It really sounds like a wonderful opportunity. Others might agree that these are easy traveling years. With at least on extra seat booked, and seating on the planes planned - I am sure the stress of travel will be fine once you arrive at the Ritz!!!

Go for it!

dmlove

What makes you think the 8-month old won't be crawling by then? (Regardless, I'd do it, because Hawaii is great with kids -- we took our first when he was 3 months old, then both when they were 3 and 5 months respectively, and again when they were 4 and 2. Great trips all. Then again, we only had to fly from San Francisco.

DebitNM

Sorry, but my vote would be no. I cannot imagine being in a plane for that length of time with 2 very young children. I could barely stand flying that time and I was a little closer to HI when we flew and we flew first class. Are you flying first class or coach? I'd imagine it would be first class since you would be staying at the Ritz. That would also mean, that the seat configuration would mean that you and your husband would not be able to sit together if you bought a 3rd seat for the 22 month old. That also means that someone else is going to have to sit next to you or DH with a lap child. Honestly, if it were me in first class - I wouldn't be happy. If it is coach, forget it for sure.

Aside from the fact of the having to fly twice like this, will your DH be on business most of the time you are there? If so, that means you will have to deal with the 2 children alone? Do you plan to leave the hotel with them? Strollers, etc? There are so many downsides to this, I can't imagine doing this. 2 cribs [or a rollaway and a crib]. Time changes etc.

Do you have to pay for all of your meals? Breakfast and lunch with babies, in a restaurant, on your own while hubby works? Very expensive to have to have all of your meals out.

Hawaii is magnificent, but do it when you will ALL enjoy it. You may not be able to stay at Riyz if you pay your own way, but there are so many nice options [2 bedroom condos with kitchen facilities etc] that would really work better for you.

My humble opinion, which may be far from everyone else's.

Deb

kealalani

Deb gives a great opinion....

margyb

No way. The traveling sounds very stressful and then after you get there you'll have to deal with the time change with both kids. I have visions of endless hours spent in a hotel room with two cranky babies. I get cranky enough myself with long trips and time changes!

It doesn't sound like a fun time to me. Is there any chance of getting a grandparent(s) to stay with the kids?

Melissa

Thanks to all who have responded so far.
Flight options are get 4 coach seats or 3 first class. Husband does have business in the mornings but has afternoons free. There are no family members to watch the children here in Boston. Even if there were, I don't think I could be in Hawaii with my kids so far away...I would rather bring them with me, but I also accept that it might be best for my husband to go alone...despite how wonderful it sounds to go to Maui with the snow on the ground outside my window.

escargot

How long is this business trip? If you were going to go for 10-14 days, maybe I could be convinced - but is it is a 2-5 day convention type thing? And while a Ritz is lovely, with two small children, I"d much rather be in a condo type situation for naps, bedtime, snacks, meals, etc -

My initial reaction would be no, for most of the reasons Deb mentioned and more. While mine are now in their 20's, I can remember the days of flying with little ones and we are in Boston also - I would never have done this trip with them at those ages - I did it with them when they were 8 and 10 and they loved it and remember it and subsequent trips to the islands. We always stopped for a few days in LA or San Fran on the way out or back too, which lessened the jet lag thing.

I'd wait till they were older.

If you want to get away from the cold and snow,
and your kids are young enough you aren't bound by school vacations - head down to the west coast of Florida in March or April instead - a group of us rented a house on Marco Island a year or so ago just after school vacation and it was a great buy and a 3 br house with pool and close to the beach - I'd vote for that if you need to get away from winter -

in the meantime, your family is young - hopefully you will have many wonderful opportunities to travel to Hawaii another time. ....

dusty56438

You would be much better off leaving the kids at home.

But if you can't, considering that two of the tickets are free, take the kids.

But, two little kids will really linit what you can do.

gail

You can do this with some good planning and willingness to make some modifications to how you are used to traveling.

Seats - 4 coach seats. Two ways to endure flight - either 2 + 2 seating and one parent deals with each kid; but sometimes we did 3 + 1 and took turns with the kids, giving the "off" parent a time to read, de-stress. Only works if Mom actually gets to be the off parent sometime. Kids tolerate long flights when parents give them 100% attention for the entire flight - how often do kids get that at home? It is when parents think they can eat, nap, work that things get nasty. (Lots of tips here on flying with kids)

Lodging - too bad lodging is set. I am sure hotel is lovely, but trip would be much easier in a cheaper hotel with perhaps 2 rooms, refrig/micro. I know nothing about this hotel but it does not seem like the type place likely to offer you that on a business trip.

Dining - eating out with 2 kids that age, as I am sure you know, is a challenge at best. Imagine it 3 meals/day. After a while the kids will recognize walking into restaurant for inevitable hour or so of confinement and rebel even before the meal.

Equipment - that will be tough, but you will be able to check stuff you need thru from Boston - you will look like refugees at either end of trip and will need to give cab driver a huge tip.

Jet lag - kids sleep when they need to sleep. You may have a few days when they are napping at 9 AM and awake at 3 AM - or the reverse, but they will adjust.

So this is how you do it. Then the question is do you want to do it. As someone else mentioned, length of trip is huge factor. As is inevitable costs while you are there - paying for 2 plane tickets, food for the 3 of you not on business, and anything fun you will do will still not be cheap.

offlady

Of course you should go! My kids are 17 months apart and we flew often, including Maui-Miami trips when they were both still in diapers. We've flown first class with 2 seats (4 of us), but sat mostly in economy in the bulkhead seats. I assume you will have a stopover in Chicago or Denver or some mid point. That seems to help break up the long monotonous flight. It isn't as bad as people think. At that young age, the hum of the airplane engine usually lulls them to sleep most of the way. I never gave them antihistimine as some people do with their kids, and avoided too much sugar. One trick I did was to buy some new small toys and games and bring them out only if needed during the flight to occupy their time. Jet lag won't be too bad and they should back on course by the 2nd day.
It was fairly easy to travel with them at that age as most places are kid-friendly these days. Our kids are now teenagers and it is a little more difficult for all 4 of us to travel as often with strict school schedules and extra-curricular activities, and the cost of travel goes up with 4 full fares, needing a second hotel room, larger car, adult meals, etc. Believe me, go now while you have the chance.

offlady

Also, if you are not buying seats for your boys on the flight, you and your husband may have to sit separately. On United, we were told that there are only 3 oxygen masks for the two seats along the windows. We were able to get seats across the aisle from each other.

escargot

Gail this line of yours made me laugh
"You will look like refugees at either end of trip"

For two reasons-
one, last summer when our relatives from the west coast arrived via Logan, via a limo ride, via the ferry to martha's vineyard and when they got off , loaded down with all their stuff and he looked at me and said
"nice to meet you, I am the sherpa"

and second - the time we did a 3 hour plane trip with two kids under 3 and b/c of some freak weather and some fog b/c of snow and a warmer ground or whatever we were delayed over one hour on the tarmac - another hour circling in the air near our destination - an extra landing to refuel somewhere else in New England and another hour before we landed at Logan.

You are right. although we might have looked worse than refugees. it is all I remember about that trip.

Good luck Melissa whatever you decide !

olesouthernbelle

It might be worth it to even pay for a family member's flight to Boston if you could tolerate being away from the kiddies.

How do you envision spending your time in Hawaii? Getting out & about to explore own your own with two toddlers would be a real challenge, IMO.

Lounging about the Ritz might be nice , but I wouldn't want to be limited to that as a visit to Hawaii.

That said, knowing how opportunities can sometimes be few & far between, I believe, with careful planning, I might just 'go for it' myself.

jcb

Hi Melissa - My vote would be yes, take them, but YOU (and hubby) are the only one who knows the temperment of your children and yourself. Will you be stressed out all the time? If so, then definitely not worth it. If it is just another typical day but in a fab location, then go for it!

I think it would be easier with the 4 coach seats.

If the business trip is short, please consider renting a condo for a few more days to make the long flight worth it.

Good luck in your decision!

voyager61

I might as well contribute. We fly to the Hawaiian Islands regularly from Seattle, which is a much shorter trip. We started when our son was 3 1/2, and although the first trip was a little difficult...he had a tantrum about having sunscreen put on, it went well. And we've been going back for over a decade. HOWEVER, on all trips we were both there to watch him on the beach at the pool and give each other breaks. I can't imagine having a toddler and an infant on the beach or at the pool with my husband at business meetings...but I'm not a "super mom." So, like everyone else says, it depends on your kids, your energy level, etc. The hotel room vs. condo thing is a problem too, as others have mentioned.

I know I couldn't do it and enjoy the trip, but others might.

wliwl

When my kids were little we flew a few times from NYS to Arizona to see my inlaws. It was a lot easier with one kid, but then when there were two kids I was just so miserable we stopped going.

For one thing your fellow passengers hate you, even if your kids are good. Second, and more important, my husband just wasn't as, how do I say it, diligent?!, about caring for them on the plane as me. So I had all the mother work only 100 times harder. Frankly it made me really nervous.

When they were little and we used to go to a North Carolina beach I always felt sort of trapped in the beach house. If one wasn't napping, the other one was. One would have a ton of sand in his mouth and the other would be hungry or sunburned. There was no relaxing on the beach with a book or late afternoon "cuddling." LOL

Eating out 3 meals a day also puts a whole new level of anxiety on these types of trips.

Plus, I hope you aren't the only spouse there with the kids. I used to really hate that!

Just the realities.

I know you're going to go no matter what we say, so have a safe trip anyway.

highflyer

Go.

We mostly regret the things we don't do rather than the things we do.

We've only travelled with one young kid at a time (gap of >6 years between them) but all the trips have been worth it.

Pack stuff for the kids to eat. Baby food, snacks for your toddler, juice boxes etc. Ask for a fridge in your room if possible.
Gently adjust to the jet lag. Yes, they'll be up before dawn on the first couple of days (we all were both times we've been to Hawaii).
Go for early morning walks on the beach (before your husband's meetings, return for breakfast and a nap/playtime/ and venture out again in the afternoons with your husband when the sun is not so strong.

If my husband was going to Maui and I had the choice to go too or stay at home with two kids I'd go. If my ticket was free I wouldn't think twice!

LindainOhio

My children are 25 and 27 now but we did a lot of travelling when they were young--with them and without them.

If at all possible, and they are willing, fly the grandparents in to babysit and go with your husband. It will be the most romantic thing you have probably done in 22 months. It is also wonderful for your children to spend time with their grandparents, especially if the grandparents do not live in town with you. Your children and your parents will have wonderful memories of this time shared together.

If you should consider this, do not call home every evening and talk to your children. Leave an emergency number for your parents. The children will forget about you (they do seem to think about you at bedtime when they are tired)and will cry on the phone if you call. They will be fine if you don't call--trust me here, I know you don't believe this will happen to you)

The best way to be a mother to your children is to love their father. You won't believe how a romantic get away without your wonderful children will enhance your relationship with your husband.

GoTravel

There is no way I'd consider a lap child for an 18 hour flight.

Also, with one hotel room you will have to go to bed when your kids go to bed and get up when they get up.

If you can't fly the grandparents in, I'd probably skip the trip. Don't forget that Hawaii is five hours further than California.