Just to set the record straight - my reference to "flunkeys", which my dictionary defines as "a liveried servant", wasn't an attack on the wretched of the earth. I'm well aware that I'm on the US forum here, and that American employment practices mean that many people in service jobs depend on tips to earn a living wage. When I'm in the US I respect the practice, but I'm prepared to admit that I don't much like it in principle is one reason I avoid situations in which I'm surrounded by unusually high numbers of outstretched hands - just as I feel uncomfortable when besieged by beggars in poor countries

Anyway, as mcnyc says, this isn't about tipping. However at the risk of being pedantic I must quibble just a tad with mikemo about workers wanting a few "yuan" in tips - the yuan is the currency of China, where mostly offering a tip will cause confusion or embarrassment. You may even be pursued down the street by a waiter who assumed that you've forgotten your change.

"When you select a three star place to avoid the extras, your room quality goes with it." No argument, Neopolitan, but in most cases the room quality I've had in 3-stars is quite adequate for our purposes. We spend as little time as possible in our room anyway and prefer to spend our money in other ways.

A couple thoughts...

First, I don't think anyone has mentioned what I believe is one of the main reasons that these services are provided. The fact is that some people like to have service personnel tripping over each other to meet their needs, simply because it makes them feel important. By the way, I'm not suggesting that everyone who partakes of those services shares that trait, so I hope I can avoid any defensive responses.

Second, I want to heartily agree with Neapolitan, et. al. in general, but specifically with respect to bathroom attendants. Not only should I not have to pay for that "service", but I should receive a discount from the establishment since I didn't get to use the facilities in privacy and comfort.

Finally, MikeT and others suggested that we should pay these people because they need the money. I am all for charity, but I don't think that I am responsible for making the recipient feel like it isn't charity. Since MikeT seems to be fond of analogies, I have a question. If someone who is down on their luck appears at his doorstep requesting payment for some unrequested service (washing his car ... repainting his fence, etc.), will Mike fork over the cash?

I can NOT believe you 5-star hotel stayin people won't tip a bathroom attendant. Think they should go back and get a college degree instead of hanging around the hotel beggin money from you. Man, that is low class.

mikemo, I have stood in their shoes.

And because of that fact, my skin crawls on occasion over these "service" options. I am very polite and understanding, but decline services that I do not need or want. Oftentimes if given the choice, I will pick the lesser of star value hotels for this reason. Some of us do not enjoy or require most of these types of services, I feel exactly like several posters above.

suze, how do you feel about big city street parking (legal) where the "service" person expects a tip for "watching" your car, or "cleaning" your front driver's window. This is common around sports or show venues, where you have no other choices in parking. In Chicago it's an accepted "job" in some neighborhoods, near the stadiums or ball parks.

I'm not being sarcastic, I really think this is so relative- and I don't understand the personal responsibility aspect some of you assume.

I, like most of the respondents here, enjoy the upscale hotels, but can do without most of the service extras. Self parking for me. Normally I will carry my own bags. If I have a lot of stuff, then sure I will pay for assistance. And I'll tip the same whether the fellow explains how to turn on the TV or where the light swithches are or not.

For myself and many others, to know those services are available is comforting. Just not aleays necessary.

I am much more likely to use some of the frill services while on vacation rather than travel for work.

But tip for service I do not use or do not want? Even if the guy could use the money? I don't think so.

I will go out of my way to find an acceptable 3 star hotel just so I don't have to deal with valets, bellhops, and worthless "resort fees." The worst was the Lodge at Rancho Mirage. $20 resort fee and no in room coffee or valet parking. Just a USA today, but not on weekends. And they forgot to phone my wakeup call. So much for service.

I will go out of my way to avoid resort fees, but will not go out of my way to avoid posh hotels within my means.

To be honest, I don't look at the star rating, and I don't trust the star counts either, so this is not how I choose hotels. I choose based on location, price and perceived cleanliness based on reviews and previous experience.

I've even been at a Best Western (Victoria, BC) and a Marriott (DC) that only had valet parking!!! These are not posh hotels, they're standard at best. Proof that looking for certain starred hotels does not always allow you to avoid certain services.

Suze - my point was that no one HAS to be a bathroom attendant. There are other jobs in this world, with or without college.

You can call it low class or cheap. I know I am neither. But I still think I shouldn't have to 'pay' to use the restroom. However, I do always smile and say thank you.

As for bathroom attendants, I don't know if the preference is is a gender thing or not...but as a female I always appreciate a bathroom attendant being present. It provides me with a sense of security. Of course, since we use stalls, I have privacy and I've never experienced an attendant trying to small talk while I do my thing (that WOULD be annoying).

I always appreciatively tip and thank the attendant (usually just a buck).

What gets me is when the attendant holds the toilet paper hostage for a tip, but that's another (Asia?) thread...LOL!

Enjoy-la!

I TOTALLY agree with the OP. We were at the Ritz Carlton and I needed ice for the baby's milk. Thankfully they told me where it was, which was across the hall and two doors down behind an umarked door. I was there and back in about 30 seconds. If they had made me go through the charade of having to wait half an hour while some guy brings me ice, I would have been really upset.

My time is luxurious to me. I hate waiting to have others do what I can do myself in half the time. I don't mind having the option, but it seems like at the nice joints, you don't.

Valet parking isn't necessarily expensive or time wasting. At our favorite hotel in Paris, valet parking costs a whopping 50 cents more per night than parking at the public garage, which is two blocks away and usually full. And we've never had to wait more than 5 minutes for our car. It's a relief and pleasure to be able to pull up to the hotel, hand over the car keys and not worry about it again until we leave. It's worth the 5 euros we tip the valet parker coming and going.

Very interesting thread, however my theory is that in general most (I said most) Americans were not born to great wealth, thus they are not brought up with all the monied aspects of life. By that I mean people waiting on you.

How many live in mansions with housekeepers, maids, drivers, and/or a butler, etc. to handle all their daily needs ? If that was a way of life no one would prefer to "do it themselves" rather then use the valet, etc. at a hotel.

Most people do not object to the maid cleaning their hotel room because that is "how it always has been" in travel so we are all used to it. Besides, most Americans grew up with someone cleaning their room - Mom usually, so I don't think that aspect of hotel service is alien.

Personally, I rather resent the so-called "resort fee" and we do our best to avoid places that charge for that. I also resent the extra fee for parking when the same hotel had free parking for ages and the lot is the same barren asphalt strip it always was. It's just a gimmick to charge more. Instead of having to say the room rates went up 20% (or whatever) they just dream up "additional charges".

Just my thoughts so please, no flames

Klamchowder, if I tipped somebody a buck everytime I peed, I'd be broke.
A dollar?! For someone just sitting there?!

Maybe not a flame, Lori, but I can't resist this little spark. "most Americans grew up with someone cleaning their room - Mom usually" YIKES!!! I guess I was one of the few, and my kids as well, who had to clean our own rooms or it didn't get done. And if it wasn't cleaned by Saturday I knew I wouldn't get to go out to play until it was. That's it...not a flame, just a little spark...

I do not like this nonsense at all, & only stay at these places for work. I just returned from Miami, & stayed at the Doral for a conference. So, I pull up in the cab, & am attempting to pay the cabbie, while one guy has opened my door & is trying to "help me out" & another has absconded w/my luggage in tow. I go to check in, & I have another guy who wants to drive me 20 feet in a golf cart to my room. But he has my luggage, so what choice do I have ?!? I finally get to my room, & the guy is doing his little song & dance & I'm like, 'here's $5, get the hell out of my room'. It is nice to have the service available for those who want & need it. I'm pretty sure I could lug my 22" drag-along that was probably about half full, the full 20 feet. Particularly since I was only staying for two lllooooonnnnnggggg days. They should offer their services, nothing more...Did I mention that I abhor resorts & any of their incarnations ?

sylvia3: LOL!!

I should qualify, the buck is local currency. (=

I too don't like the pushy frills of some of the nicer hotels. At work we're not allowed to use luxury accomms so for me it's only on vacations. I'm in a different mindset, and I usually don't skimp on food, etc. when I on holiday.

Whatever the person's circumstance, I can't think of it as a pleasant job for the attendant to have to wipe up the seats and clean up after people, in the bathroom no less. I don't expect them to turn the taps on for me, but I think it's great they wipe down the counters so I have a dry place to put my bags/purse and I don't get the front of my clothes wet as I lean to wash my hands.

At the end of my vacation I won't even have noticed the few $ that might have made a difference to these people, and for me (and I am not well-off!) the amount would be insignificant - another dessert?

I do like the choice of having the doorman, etc. For instance, the fellas at the W in Times Square literally run half a block to the main road to flag a taxi for you. That's worth a good tip!

Enjoy-la!

<<my point was that no one HAS to be a bathroom attendant. There are other jobs in this world>>

Do you also believe no one needs to be a hotel maid, work at a car wash, drive a taxi? Or whatever other jobs you consider beneath respect? I'm sorry but I find your attitude condecending.

Hey, if it was good enough for Kramer's mom, how bad could the job be?

I had not idea that "No, thank you" were the three hardest words in the English language and caused so much drama for people.

Someone offers to take your bags? "No, thank you."

You don't need to check into a Motel 6, no need to start therapy, no need to let it ruin your trip.

Three Simple Word.

I have no problem w/the three words. However, it is hard to overcome the conspiracy being excercised by the valet/bellman/& taxi driver(s). My bag was literally gone prior to my ability to even exit the taxi.