As a European traveling to the US (again) this summer is it at all possible to avoid the Annoying Waiter Syndrome which seems so commonplace in US restaurants.
You know the "my name is Candy And I'll be your host for this evening" & "excuse me how's everything?" & "more wine?" & taking away the plates of my companaions before we've all finished & rushing me the bill as if I'm dying to get out (or maybe they're dying to get rid of me so they can get more covers in).
In short is it possible to order and then be left alone to enjoy our meal until we require the waiter or the bill or whatever.

Sorry for the rant but you get my drift...

If that is your attitude STAY HOME

no my attitude is not a problem... I was trying to ascertain whether or not it is possible to lay down the ground rules for a pleasant meal without unduly hurting the feelings of the waiters.
I think your attitude stinks by the way.... I'm so glad most of your compatriots are more welcoming than you.

European: While I will agree with you that some waiters/waitresses CAN be annoying - having them ask me if everything is OK and do I need more wine is part of their job. I'd much rather be "annoyed", than ignored.

The seven steps to friendly service:

1. Greet the customer
2. Take the order
3. Place the order
4. Serve the order
5. Verify that it's OK
6. Deliver the Check
7. Take the cash

It's all a variation on this theme.

European, stop being so snotty towards waitstaff that are trying to do thier job. After your food is served, let him or her know you will signal if you need anything.

thats the way it goes here, I actualy get pissed when they don't give me my bill earlier.. since I'm used too this style whene I'm travaling I start going insane waiting and waiting for the bill until I have too walk over too the counter and ask for it..

I don't get whats so bad that the waiters states thier names.. I know that in other countries you clap your hands or yell out "girl come here"..

the level of "annoyingnes" also depends on what part of the America you are in,, in the north east we are too the point. and the south the waiter might ask you how are the kids where are you comming from and so on..

Actually, it's fairly simple - just stay out of chain restaurants and the less expensive places. Better restaurants have better service.

Why the attitude?

How about something fairly direct such as: "Candy, I (we) like to eat a meal with as little intrusion as possible. Here's what I'd like to order. I'll let you know when I'd like the bill after I've finished my meal."

That should do it. She'll know right off it's the LEATE syndrome. (Leave 'Em Alone, They're European).

Happy dining.

Thanks European,my name is Candy!

But I am no waitress so I doubt I will have to meet you and endure your superior attitude,as a visitor to our country,bringing your own little set of prejudices with you.

Stay home, Frenchie!

Yes, European, here are some tips: first, you tell your waiter "Hi, my name is so-and-so, and I'm an asshole from Europe who finds you wait folks annoying." Next, you get take-out at fast food windows (whihc requires you remain in your car!). Best of all, you can spare yourself and our waiters if you pick up somehting in the frozen foods section of a Food Lion and fix it back at your hovel. Or, European, perhaps you ought to just stay at home and just be the loveable asshome you are, and spare the US of A your presence. We will get along just fine without some asshole jerk complaining about hard working folks who have to wait on people like you. I'd love to give INS and Customs you name and date of arrival.

European, it's just a cultural difference. In the US, we expect that the server will come over to make sure everything is okay, bring us our bill promptly, etc. It doesn't mean you have to clear the table as soon as the bill shows up. We get just as irritated in Europe when we wait and wait and wait for our bill and nobody has checked on us during our meal. It's all in what you are used to.

The comparison between European and American waistaff is always a good topic of conversation. In general, I find waitstaff in the US to be more friendly and casual. This can be a plus or minus depending on the situation. It is true that the mentality in the US is get em in, fill em up, send em out the door, especially in more casual places. Perhaps this is because waitstaff in America their pay is basically the tips they receive, whereas in Europe waiting is more of a profession. My favorite US waitstaff line is 'You still workin' on that?'. In Austria, it was interesting to have the waiter stand and wait for payment as soon as the check is delivered. Dining on both sides of the Atlantic can be a great experience, more depends on the establishment you are in, than the customs of the society.

European

I dislike those waiters too. Generally you find them at chain restaurants like Chili's or Bennigans, although they can lurk anywhere. Basically there isn't much you can do about it. Just give short answers and avoid eye contact. If you offer the rude responses than many here suggest you may want to think twice about putting the food they bring into your mouth.

I'm not surprised at some of the resentment you've received. Just check out any of the posts by Americans who ask how to aviod smoke in European restaurants. I was recently in Europe during the heatwave. I tried not to curse too much about the lack of airconditioning, or screens even. When visiting a foreign country you just have to take (the perceived) bad with the good.

As other posters have noticed, you can (partly) avoid annoying waiters/waitresses by avoiding chain restaurants because
(a) the staff is usually poorly trained and inexperienced and
(b) their main aim is to push you ut the door ASAP.

However, there is a cultural difference. I've been in Eurpoean restaurants where you practically had to tackle the waiter to get your check -- they assume everyone is enjoying a 2-3 hour meal. Not so in the US.

European,
Your preference works well in Europe (I lived there for 5 years), because when you need your waiter, he's quickly available. In the U.S., it's almost impossible to get your waiter back in a timely fashion, once you let him know you want to be left alone. In any but the best U.S. restaurants, the usual "I'll be right back to take your order" is bullshit. You're lucky if your waiter comes back in 5 minutes. If you dismiss him, you'll certainly regret it, because you can't just gesture and expect him back, as you can in Europe.
My philosophy, here in the U.S., is, if I have to ask for more water, more bread more wine, then the waiter isn't doing his job. If I thought I could get his attention just by raising my hand (as I could in Europe), that would be fine, but here, that'll never happen.

Les.

I had a hard tome getting my bill in Switzerland. If I wanted to do the old "dine and dash" I could have been three countries away by the time they started looking for me.

I find it hard to believe that "European" is REALLY european.

First of all, why identify yourself as European, as opposed to English, French, etc.?

Secondly, this poster writes and spells quite well, for which he/she is to be complimented, if in fact he/she is truly a foreigner. In fact, he/she seems to have a better grasp of the English language than many native Americans on this board!

And finally, he/she seems to be just a bit TOO familiar with the American vernacular. Expressions such as "in short" and "whatever" and "you get my drift" leave me to conclude we're dealing with a TROLL.

European - Some of us Americans are also somewhat annoyed by the wait style prevalent in the U.S. However, mostly you should just ignore the more annoying aspects, as there is no easy way around it. I agree that if you tell the waiter that you'd like to be left alone for a bit, that you might never see that person again! (The number of times I've been asked "how's everything" before I've even taken a bite of my food is uncountable.)

I also agree that the nicer a restaurant you eat at, the better the service will be. However, I've noticed it's extremely common, for example, for waiters at even very nice U.S. restaurants to take away the plates of those who have finished eating - the philosophy then, I imagine, is to remove the yucky, disgusting empty plates from the table (which has a certain amount of sense).

Another difference in customs that often gives me a chuckle is that in most places in Europe, you'll receive new silverware for each course; in the U.S., it's not uncommon to reuse them. I gauge (mentally) how "nice" a place is by whether they give me new silver or not between courses. (It's really entertaining when they take dirty utensils off my plate & place them back on the table for the next course.)

Especially at nicer places, or when a place isn't busy, you can certainly take your time paying the bill - just because the bill is sitting there, doesn't mean you need to whip out your credit card or cash right that second.

Bottom line, it's just a difference in cultures. Europeans aren't going to get American waiters to change their cultural habits any more than Americans can change those of Europeans - enjoy the differences!