Is anyone out there afraid of flying but have found a way to overcome it. Please let me know your secret or cure. The crazy part about this is that I work for an airline so I fly free!

Thanks!

Yike - recently overcame the same problem myself. I recommend picking up a book like "Flying without fear' or the "Fearless (fearful?) flyers handbook.' I can't recall the specific titles right now - but a search on Amazon will bring up several books. I found the books to pretty much completely rid me of my fear - just flew a few weeks ago and had fun on the flight rather than hours of panicky discomfort. If the books don't work then check with the airlines - a few have programs specifically to treat fearful flyers - the programs are ususally run by a psychologists or other mental health person and are reported to be very helpful. Good luck.

Thanks for the suggestions scigirl. I'll look for the books you mentioned.

I believe Northwest Airlines offers a consumer education program about conquering the fear of flying which includes a video. I don't recall the cost and I haven't used it myself, but if you happen to be an NWA flyer, the cost is recoverable via a discount coupon that is included in the kit. Perhaps you could get in touch with them for more information or perhaps someone on the board is more familiar.

Xanax

I have to laugh at the suggestion above--I never fly without taking it!

I am a very bad flyer. I went 12 years without stepping foot on a plane. When my husband and I got married, I finally confessed (sobbing of course)that I was terrified of flying. Unfortunately, this was the first he'd heard of my fear and we were sitting in the parking garage at Tampa International about to catch a flight for our honeymoon. Long story short, we drove 1600 miles to our destination.

My husband finally convinced me that our kids needed to see some places other than SE USA. I boarded the plane on two xanax and a bourbon. Almost got kicked off because I was crying so hard, convinced we only had minutes to live.

I know this doesn't sound like much of a pep talk, but my point is, if I can do it, believe me, anyone can!. It's like any other fear or phobia--it's very real and you have to explore the options that will best help you to overcome your fear. In my case, I just bucked up and did it. I can't tell you how many times I've flown since. Europe was a challenge the first time, but I took a sleeping pill and a non-stop flight. It does get easier each time. You learn to recognize the strange little creaks and rattles and bumps. Now, I can actually relax, read--even look out the window!

Have you considered hynosis? I know some people who swear by it. Also, there was a Captain Cummings, a former pilot, who gives fear of flying classes all over the country. I spoke with him several times, but was too afraid to take the class--you had to fly to graduate! He wrote a great book that may still be in circulation. Good luck.

Sal has a point about doing it, and I would also suggest the "fear of flying" courses - I know British Airways run them in the UK and they have a pretty high success rate - what about the airline you work for?

I'm not scared of flying, but I'm not exactly comfortable with it either. If you try to see it as a "means to an end" - as my brother does - this might work. What tends to unnerve me is take-off, so I usually sit bolt upright, with both hands gripping the seat arms and my eyes shut tight until the plane levels off.

I spent 10 yrs. not going anywhere I couldn't go on a train.

I was afraid of flying but not so much for the usual reasons (fear of crashing, etc.) than because I get miserably motion sick -- and once sick, it takes me days to get my equilibrium back. I got sick to death of people just telling me "get over it, it's all in your head" as if it were a moral failing. I still have the balance thing and have to work with usually impatient and uncooperative airline agents to get a window seat that allows me to orient to the horizon.

But I also had to overcome the fear that had built up to an incapacitating level.

Yes, Xanax was in the picture for a while, but I got tired of being all foggy and I always got a bad headache when it was wearing off.

What worked? Short answer -- flying a lot. The more routine it was, the more routine it got. Another answer -- I was taking my son on some of these flights and I was fiercely determined that he not see the fear nor "catch" it from me.

Other ploys: music -- listening to particular soothing tapes, which both drown out the engine roar and take my imagination good places, esp. while watching clouds go by. Also comedy -- listening to stand-up comedians on tape is very distracting and fun. You can't help but relax when you start to laugh.
Also mental games like remembering the crowds in Times Sq. at New Years and telling myself that many times that number of people have flown without incident. Also rewards for coping, like saving a book I really wanted to read (Grafton, etc.) for the flight or promising myself something special at the other end.

You might want to look directly at the things that make the anxiety worse -- if it's bad weather, get really knowledgeable about what does and doesn't affect the flight, like notice that you are flying above it most of the time, so it's just a matter of coming down through it. If it's missed connections, fly early in the day. If it's safety, match up the safe-flight statistics with how often you, personally, have won the lottery or found a diamond ring on the sidewalk.

But finally: don't expect the first step not to be hard and just take a breath and take that step.

May I suggest you SUSPEND (for a while) your thoughts about your present, current day fear of flying ... and with the help of a counsellor or therapist, look back in time, working to understand why you are afraid, and as importantly, of what, and the others aspects of the issue ... such as when it began, and in what other situations in life now or in the past you have felt similar feelings and fears. Do not so easily accept that it is FLYING that you FEAR. We fear what we do not understand ... and often what we do not understand, that is, what we cannot come to grips with, is the FEAR itself. This is not some mumbo jumbo ... I am telling you how it worked for me after 10 years of fear. I still got on the plane ... but I was a mess ... afraid of becoming ill, afraid of roughness, that people would see my fear, afraid of claustrophobia, thinking I was the only one on the plane who was afraid. I hated to fly, and hated the thought that other people had the power that flying offered (power to see other parts, to meet with other people, to be free to move), and that I did not possess. I will tell you this ... that what we once feared can actually be converted to joy if we remove the fear. I urge you to work with a professional you trust to find out exactly what you are indeed feeling ... you may indeed have "some" fear of flying because you were once ill or in rough weather, but you can be certain there is a deeper fear working on you, and once that is understood, the fear of flying will be under control like you cannot today imagine. Do not also believe that this fear is bound up only with yourself ... there may be a parent or spouse involved in the fear, even the cause of it. Flying may act like a magnet for all your fears. Now, let me add this ... once I had dealt with those fear issues, most emanating from childhood and marriage and life issues that had no relationship to flying, then I was able to fly relatively easily. I completed the solution by giving myself a 50 mg. dramanine before each flight, and a 1 mg. Ativan (your doctor will precribe this ... it is quite weak!!!), but you must not drink alcohol during the flight. I hope you will think about my own experience. Today I love to fly ... tomorrow I have to get on a small plane to KY, and in the past that would have been impossible, believe me. You will be able to love to fly as well, althought I know that looks remote right now. Try to think about the fear in a new way ... do not accept how you have been viewing it. Good luck, I know you will be successful. Call a professional to help you ... you do not have to do this alone, no matter what you have been thinking. Ciao

Here's an article about the fear-of-flying class that Northwest Airlines offers. I think most airlines offer it, and the most valuable part is that they teach you all facets of flying, and educate you out of your fear.I know one of the participants, and she says it changed her life. Hope everything works out well for you. Flying makes me nervous sometimes, but the 'carrot' of my destination always gets me through the 'stick' of the turbulence!

http://webserv5.startribune.com/stOn...d=of&word=fear

Yike, do you ever sell your buddy coupon, or know someone that wants to give them away. What airline do you work for and how is their free flying benefits?

There was a recent Fodors Conversation Piece on this. Go to Travel Talk Home, click on past conversation pieces, and check out "Fear of Flying: Ask the Therapist" with Capt. Tom Bunn (Apr. 2 - 15, 2001)

I just have to say fear of flying is a totally VALID fear. You have to just go with it. I found a little psych-out method thing that works - pick up a small stone or rock from the ground from your departure point (say, your driveway) and put it in your pocket. There are folks who say that a rock always has to return to it's original resting place. This has led me to pick up rocks from all over the world, and while I have a pretty substantial collection, I know eventually I will have to fly back to bring them back! The stone always makes me feel better in the air, knowing it's in my pocket.

I also use kava kava in a tall glass of water. Works wonders.

Some interesting comments, but I have to say I really was put off by "Cap'n Bunn's" responses -- he had the same answer for everything and never quite got off dead center. Frankly, other people's answers to this sort of question were much more helpful than his.

L -- (would be great if you'd break up your paragraph a little) -- not sure you have to go back to the womb to get at flight anxiety, but figuring out exactly which aspects frighten you is worth it.

And it's worth emphasizing the point about alcohol, esp. if you are using other medication but even by itself. Some people do find a glass of wine helps but alcohol does other things to you (diuretic, depressant, etc.) that may make it harder instead of easier to settle in and cope.

Good luck m'dear -- you CAN do it, and each time you do it, it's a "high." (No pun....).

I'm a nurse-therapist and I agree wholeheartedly with most of what L. said, above. However, I do have some concerns about the medication suggested. Ativan isn't a "weak" medication and can cause significant memory impairment (temporary) in some individuals, and I'd be very leery about combining it with that much Dramamine. For lots of people that dose would be quite safe, but if you haven't had that medication before, I'd take about half that much and I'd definitely discuss it with my doctor first. The fact that it's only 1 milligram doesn't mean it's a small amount of medication - some of our patients take a quarter of a milligram as a sleeping pill. And the Dramamine and the Ativan potentiate each other - you don't want to end up semiconscious!

I hate to fly--maybe because I only fly 2-3 times a year. Another poster is right--the more you fly the more blase you will become. That said, my remedy for fear of flying is three-fold: 1. grasp my husband's arm tightly upon take-off and pray a lot (take-off's are the worst, in my opinion). Once the plane's in the air, I promptly order one alcoholic beverage to take the edge off--it relaxes me just enough to stop the grasping and praying of #1. Third (and most important and less flippant), use the airline's headphones to 'dial in' to the traffic controller/pilot frequency. Being able to hear the pilot's request for an altitude adjustment and why helps immensely when I then feel the plane dip/rise. It really has helped me and gives me some sense of control while flying.

For as long as I've been flying, at the first odd sound I'll glance at a flight attendant, assuming one is up and about, and if her expression hasn't changed, I'm fine. gt; (And I've yet to see one blink an eye at any of my "noises").

For the past 5 years we've lived 5 minutes from Tampa International. If it weren't for the trees, I could see the end of the runway with no problem. I hear those take-offs and landings ALL day long, and though I wouldn't advocate moving to an airport to get over this fear, now when flying I barely even glance up on take off or landing. Those sounds are as comfy as an old slipper and I feel as if I'm sitting right at home in my own living room. gt;

Someday just sit in a busy airport for an hour and observe the number of planes coming and going, then mulitply that by the number of airports there are just in this country. It starts to hit home how very safe air travel must be.

Sal, I loved your story...you could have come and spent your honeymoon with us! gt;

Twenty two years ago I developed 'fear of flying'. I thought I was doomed.
Our daughter begged to go to Disney World (please, not comments). We decided to take Amtrak (from an east coast city). As we pulled into Vero Beach, I quickly left the train, phoned Eastern airlines and booked our return flight. While I am not diminishing a valid fear (mine was very real) it was a pleasant surprise to attribute my cure via Amtrak.

Do not watch "cast away". Mind over matter. I always figure if I died in the air I would die happy as travel is my greatest joy!