jerseysusan

laurie_ann - good thought. That's why last year he was interested in going to London - he is very into music. We changed plans because the exchange rate was so bad. Instead we took a US road trip which probably cost us much more than it should with the rising gas prices.

GreenDragon

My DH and I have the same dichotomy. He likes relaxing, I like sightseeing and exploring. He hates flying and loves road trips - I'm the other way around. Caveat: I love road trips in other countries

GreenDragon

Posted too quickly!

I found that when i travel with DH, as long as I give him an occasional day to himself at the hotel/b&b, I can go off on my own. That way we travel together, but he gets his relaxation time and I get my sightseeing.

David_Perry

My wife and I have been married for 20 years. In that time, we have only been on one extended trip together, by ourselves.

She went to San Francisco in 1998 (with her parents), and for the last 3 years we have gone to her parents' cottage in northern Ontario - with her parents!

My wife is an educated person (lawyer) and is very interested European history/food, etc. I'm wanting to go to the UK or Ireland - she has never been there, but I'm sure she would love it - she says so too.

I'm tempted to buy 2 airline tickets and just say "We're going". I hate to do that without her agreement first - but some people need a little push.

china_cat

when I met my husband he had never left the country. I started him off easy, with a trip to the Caribbean. then our honeymoon trip to Greece. Over the years we've done like yk, and compromised a bit. I slow down the pace of the trips a little bit so we aren't on the move all the time, and he has a good time. We also do a little like Greendragon and alternate our trips between more fast paced, sightseeing trips and beach weeks. I happen to like relaxing beach trips too, so I'm okay with that.

the biggest issue we have now is that he isn't really very adventuresome in terms of where he'll go, and he HATES plane flights longer than 5-6 hours. I don't think I'll ever get him to go to Asia or Africa. Australia is a hard sell. And we haven't done anything in South America either. Plenty of Europe and North America, though.

I can always travel with a friend or with my mom, and have done so. But when I only get a few weeks of vacation a year, its pretty tough to tell him I want to go off to Cambodia for 2 weeks with my mother, and not spend a week in Cape Cod with him.

yk

Oh c_cat - I feel for you. If he doesn't like plane rides for more the 5-6 hours, can you break up the trip a bit? Say E coast to Paris, then Paris to Asia (that's about 10 hours I think).

Or E Coast to W Coast, W Coast to Hawaii, Hawaii to Asia.

Of course that eats up a lot more vacation time and probably costs much more, but that's an option I suppose.

jerseysusan

It is so hard to convince someone to fly when they hate to do it. The last time my DH flew it was to Paris. This was the first time he got on a plane in years. He use to fly without a problem but developed a fear of it after some bad experiences.
Anyway this flight to Paris was quite the experience. He wasn't sure he would get on the plane until the last minute. He held my hand in a death grip for the first hour. Fortunately he slept for most of the rest of the flight.
Now I'm not sure if he will get on a plane again. I know he won't for a domestic flight as he feels he can drive instead.
Oh well miracles do happen.

LSky

I guess now I consider myself lucky.
My husband isn't an adventurous traveller, he likes sticking to Europe or the U.S. possibly Canada.
But nowhere too edgey. India would be out of the question and I'm hoping he will see the light about South America.

When we first started getting serious I made it plain that I was going to go with or without him and he got a passport and loves it.

At least you can go without him, even if he's not thrilled. If my husband wouldn't go at least he'd be home to feed the dog.

JBHapgood

In reading forums devoted to solo travel I get the distinct impression that "DH doesn't want to go" is the most common reason for anyone to consider solo travel. Or maybe it's tied with "I'm single and none of my friends want to go. Is it safe for a woman to go alone?" So there's nothing really unusual about this thread.

On the other hand, David_Perry is the first example I've seen of a man who is more interested in travel than his wife. (I'm sure there are many other men with this problem, but I haven't seen them write about it.)

china_cat

yk, we were looking at Hawaii to Australia for next year,but I don't think it will work out. I also tried to sell him on Vancouver-Hong Kong (as part of the TTG GTG), but that didn't seem to engage him either.

Part of the problem is he just isn't that interested in Asia or Africa, so I have a hard time convincing him to take the long trip. Plus there are so many other places we want to go, they always end up ahead of these (the comment is along the lines of "why go to Hong Kong when we haven't been to Alaska yet!&quot. So its a constant negotiation, and always changing. I may talk him into it some day, I hope.

P_M

I am a married woman who usually travels alone. This is for various reasons but mainly because my DH has no interest in some of the places I want to go. I like independent travel but not w/o a travel partner so I usually end up joining a tour group. Once I'm with the group I have friends and I'm never alone. I've met a lot of married women in these groups who are in the same boat. I realize most Fodorites aren't into tours, but it does work for me under these circumstances.

china_cat

P_M, how does your DH feel about you going on vacation without him? does he do other things, or not take vacation at all? my problem is if I travelled with others (tour, or friends or family) he feels left out, even if its not somewhere he wants to go. And he wants to take vacation with me, its not like he's going to go on a fishing trip with buddies, while I go to Angkor Wat with my mom.

P_M

china_cat, he's actually pretty cool about it and he understands my passion for travel and adventure so I don't think he feels left out. He likes travel to a point but he does not have the passion for it that I have. Furthermore he has no interest in adventure travel so I know he would not enjoy a trip to a rustic lodge in the Peruvian jungle or a hike on the Inca Trail. (both of which I did this year)

I know he misses me a lot when I'm gone and he does keep busy doing things around the house. Whenever I come back from a trip we always have the best looking yard in the neighborhood.

Aside from being less adventurous than me, he has a hard time getting away from work. When he does get time off it's usually just a day or two. That's when he enjoys fishing with the guys and he has my blessings to spend few days at the coast if that's what he wants to do. I'm tempted to say he's just as happy fishing at the coast as he would be doing anything else, but I do not share his love of fishing.

DH started a new job recently where he might get more time off. Once he has vacation time built up I hope we can travel together more. But I still have considerably more vacation time than he does so I will probably take a few more adventure-type tours on my own.

yk

Hi P_M - your DH sounds just like mine, except for the fishing part.

china_cat - I travel a lot solo without my husband too. Like P_M's DH, mine can't take much time off... it's just the kind of work he does. So, he keeps himself pretty busy when I'm gone. In fact, I'm 100% sure that he works late when I'm gone, and he works all weekend.

The only thing he doesn't like when I'm gone is that he worries about me, esp if I'm alone in Europe somewhere. I tend to travel w/my mom +/- my dad within the US, but mostly solo for my European trips.

So I finally caved in and bought a phone that works abroad, so I could TXT him once a day. I think it makes him feel much better, knowing that I have access to a phone in case something happens.

P_M

Hi yk. What did we ever do w/o international cell phones? My DH agrees, it is nice to have a way to contact me anytime of the day or night. And it's a comfort to me because I know people can reach me if necessary.

yk

I was doing just fine, IMO! I have gone on many trips w/o a phone for years, and finally caved in earlier this year.

china_cat

Ah, there's the difference. I actually have LESS vacation time than my DH, since he's been at his current job longer. We both have a hard time actually getting the time off. So when we do, we tend to prefer to spend it together. I only get 3 weeks, he gets 4.

It is true that when I'm away he works late, just like your DH, yk.

He's gotten better over the years though, about going new places. I still think I might get him to go on an African safari someday, if we save up enough money to go on a really nice one. Might even get him to give Costa Rica a try. but China, Japan and Southeast Asia are probably going to have to wait for a long time.

Tempusfugit

Not me - it was an important part =of getting to know each other - would not have connected with him if the view were different

heartofthesouth

I don't think my fiance is unadventurous so much as under traveled. I think he is just a bit afraid of the shock of a country that is quite different than our own. So I'm starting him off with easy countries first (Italy, Austria ect..) before I throw him in to something like riding elephants through the jungles of Thailand.

MoonKat

Another idea that might help you plan a trip with your husband is "alcohol tours or festivals" like wine tours, wine festivals, beer tours and so on.
I'm not a big drinker but I like wine tours

I'm single and love to travel and try new things. However, no one share my interests, my friends aren't adventurous and every man I met are not into exploring new places and other cultures.
If you have a friend or a family member that is willing to travel with you, just GO!