Solo or Independent Travel
Sep 17th, 2018, 04:49 AM
#1
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Solo or Independent Travel
For those who travel without a partner do you do it independently (meaning totally on your own) or are you solo (going with a group but no partner)? There's been in uptick in married people travelling solo as their partners are no longer interesting in "tripping."
The older I get the more I prefer small group travel. No 40 or 50 person tour group, a maximum of 20 works for me. Being reticent by nature I find independent travel too isolating. At least in a group particularly at provided meals there's an opportunity for interaction.
In the last few years I've noticed that even in small groups people tend not to include the solo traveler as was once common. On a trip to Morocco there were several solo women who were all retired teachers. They stuck together as if glued, but I was excluded from their off the itinerary adventures.
So do you travel solo or independently and what keeps you going?
The older I get the more I prefer small group travel. No 40 or 50 person tour group, a maximum of 20 works for me. Being reticent by nature I find independent travel too isolating. At least in a group particularly at provided meals there's an opportunity for interaction.
In the last few years I've noticed that even in small groups people tend not to include the solo traveler as was once common. On a trip to Morocco there were several solo women who were all retired teachers. They stuck together as if glued, but I was excluded from their off the itinerary adventures.
So do you travel solo or independently and what keeps you going?
Sep 17th, 2018, 05:48 AM
#2
I took early retirement in 2000 so that I could travel before I got too decrepit. Using your terminology, the bulk of that travel has been independent, with a few group tours. I have always found that the other members of the group have been willing to include me, but I have done very few tours in recent years. The last was a small group with MIR in Uzbekistan in 2016, and everyone was friendly. But my last tour with Intrepid was Morocco in 2008, and my last with Rick Steves was Bulgaria in 2011 (I am still in touch with a couple of people from that tour).
While I am a confirmed introvert, I find it easier to be more outgoing when traveling, but I have no problem being alone. I tend to stay in B&Bs and small guesthouses and pensions and there is often conversation over breakfast. I have had people start conversations with me over dinner, although I always have something to read. I find that traveling alone lets me concentrate on the places and people around me, rather than a traveling companion.
While I am a confirmed introvert, I find it easier to be more outgoing when traveling, but I have no problem being alone. I tend to stay in B&Bs and small guesthouses and pensions and there is often conversation over breakfast. I have had people start conversations with me over dinner, although I always have something to read. I find that traveling alone lets me concentrate on the places and people around me, rather than a traveling companion.
Sep 17th, 2018, 06:01 AM
#3
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A few years ago I went on group tours if I went to a country where I didn't know the language, but I've mostly gotten over that fear of being unable to communicate. Now I've gone to a few countries alone without knowing the language and I've survived.
Now, I will go on a group tour if I feel too lazy to plan everything myself. The last two were the Faroes in 2016 and the Azores in 2017. On the Faroes trip I went on all the included excursions, since they were included in the price. On the Azores the excursions were extra and I did a few on my own. It never occured to me to ask someone else to go with me. Of course, that led to me getting a bit lost, but I survived that, too,
I don't expect to find or make friends when I go on group tours. If someone wants to be nice and talk to me, that's ok. But I like having some time to myself. I have no problems eating alone, as long as I have something to read. The meals provided on group tours are usually rather boring.
Going entirely on my own takes a lot more effort in planning and can sometimes be a bit scary. But it makes me feel stronger and more confident (except when I get lost - but I've gotten lost in my own town, too).
Now, I will go on a group tour if I feel too lazy to plan everything myself. The last two were the Faroes in 2016 and the Azores in 2017. On the Faroes trip I went on all the included excursions, since they were included in the price. On the Azores the excursions were extra and I did a few on my own. It never occured to me to ask someone else to go with me. Of course, that led to me getting a bit lost, but I survived that, too,
I don't expect to find or make friends when I go on group tours. If someone wants to be nice and talk to me, that's ok. But I like having some time to myself. I have no problems eating alone, as long as I have something to read. The meals provided on group tours are usually rather boring.
Going entirely on my own takes a lot more effort in planning and can sometimes be a bit scary. But it makes me feel stronger and more confident (except when I get lost - but I've gotten lost in my own town, too).
Sep 17th, 2018, 10:06 AM
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Well, if you’re in a group, you’re not solo...
Meals are the last place I want company, because then you have to think of other people’s dietary requirements and dislikes. I get enough of that at home, with family. I love it when people tag along, but I want control over where I eat. Last time I went on a group tour was in high school, and we ate where the group voted—subway! Yuck.
I occasionally meet up with people in hostels and do a day or two with them. Sometimes I run into what you did with the teachers—usually it happens when my roommates are the same nationality. Even if you’d been invited along, you might have felt like a third wheel the whole time.
I book day tours or things like cooking classes, and that usually gives me some needed socialization. That way, if the group dynamic sucks, I won’t be stuck with them longer than a day.
Often I’ll turn down invites from roommates because I’m not into the tourist traps like madam toussads. I’ve noticed that I often stay much longer in a place than the average backpacker.
You might be idealizing traveling with others. I’ve found that a good group vibe has to happen naturally, and that doesn’t happen very often. Occasionally I’ll pass a happy family and feel a little jealous—I have to remind myself that if I was with my family, we’d be skiing or shopping, rather than roaming around looking for tiny museums and neat architecture, which is what I like.
There are places I’m considering tours, because they aren’t experiences I could have on my own, at least not easily. And as my time off and flexibility shrinks, I become more interested in not having to plan. I put a LOT of effort into planning, and sometimes I’d really rather book a cruise or high end tour.
Meals are the last place I want company, because then you have to think of other people’s dietary requirements and dislikes. I get enough of that at home, with family. I love it when people tag along, but I want control over where I eat. Last time I went on a group tour was in high school, and we ate where the group voted—subway! Yuck.
I occasionally meet up with people in hostels and do a day or two with them. Sometimes I run into what you did with the teachers—usually it happens when my roommates are the same nationality. Even if you’d been invited along, you might have felt like a third wheel the whole time.
I book day tours or things like cooking classes, and that usually gives me some needed socialization. That way, if the group dynamic sucks, I won’t be stuck with them longer than a day.
Often I’ll turn down invites from roommates because I’m not into the tourist traps like madam toussads. I’ve noticed that I often stay much longer in a place than the average backpacker.
You might be idealizing traveling with others. I’ve found that a good group vibe has to happen naturally, and that doesn’t happen very often. Occasionally I’ll pass a happy family and feel a little jealous—I have to remind myself that if I was with my family, we’d be skiing or shopping, rather than roaming around looking for tiny museums and neat architecture, which is what I like.
There are places I’m considering tours, because they aren’t experiences I could have on my own, at least not easily. And as my time off and flexibility shrinks, I become more interested in not having to plan. I put a LOT of effort into planning, and sometimes I’d really rather book a cruise or high end tour.
Sep 17th, 2018, 01:00 PM
#5
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I'm willing to guess I have decades more travel experience that you. Hostels and backpacking are WAY in my past. Life takes each of us on an individual road. Most of my family and friends are deceased or otherwise out of my life, so I look forward to meeting other well traveled, well educated people with adventurous spirits.
Not looking for my next BFF - most people will tell you it's extremely difficult to make new friends as we age. That does not preclude learning interesting thing from interesting people in interesting places.
Solo is the designated nomenclature by travel companies to describe someone who is travelling without a partner AND wants a room to themselves. At a certain point (usually due to health reasons) having a room to oneself is preferable.
My preference for small group travel has not prevented me from meeting and having wonderful conversations with people in the lands I visit. One memorial encounter happened in Rabat, Morocco waiting for the tomb of the deceased King to open to visited. A woman in traditional dress and I began to talk. Though she wore a burka and hijab, her 5 year old granddaughter was dressed like any American 5 year old. The woman's daughter was a dentist and she was a life coach who spoke 3 languages and worshiped Tony Robbins. Ain't travel grand!
Not looking for my next BFF - most people will tell you it's extremely difficult to make new friends as we age. That does not preclude learning interesting thing from interesting people in interesting places.
Solo is the designated nomenclature by travel companies to describe someone who is travelling without a partner AND wants a room to themselves. At a certain point (usually due to health reasons) having a room to oneself is preferable.
My preference for small group travel has not prevented me from meeting and having wonderful conversations with people in the lands I visit. One memorial encounter happened in Rabat, Morocco waiting for the tomb of the deceased King to open to visited. A woman in traditional dress and I began to talk. Though she wore a burka and hijab, her 5 year old granddaughter was dressed like any American 5 year old. The woman's daughter was a dentist and she was a life coach who spoke 3 languages and worshiped Tony Robbins. Ain't travel grand!
Sep 17th, 2018, 01:10 PM
#6
I am single and I travel alone. Yes I travel solo and independently. But I"m not doing anything too complicated. I work full-time so we're talking 2-4/week vacations like to the Caribbean, Mexico, Hawaii, Europe.
I have no interest in ANY kind of group travel, organized travel, travel agents, any one planning or doing for me. I doubt I will ever do "group travel" nothing to do with age.
I have always wanted and had a "room to myself" ... even when I was in my 20's. Nothing to do with "health reasons" or being older.
I'm willing to guess I have decades more travel experience that you.
You might be surprised.
I have no interest in ANY kind of group travel, organized travel, travel agents, any one planning or doing for me. I doubt I will ever do "group travel" nothing to do with age.
I have always wanted and had a "room to myself" ... even when I was in my 20's. Nothing to do with "health reasons" or being older.
I'm willing to guess I have decades more travel experience that you.
You might be surprised.
Sep 17th, 2018, 01:17 PM
#7
I'm willing to guess I have decades more travel experience that you.
Sep 17th, 2018, 01:48 PM
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No intent to one up anyone. Read marvelousmouse's post again. It strikes me as a young person. If I'm wrong I'm wrong, but her whole post seems young to me. Having taught college level speech and communications classes, he/she just reminded me of a student.
Sep 17th, 2018, 02:06 PM
#9
I'm pretty sure they will be much surprised to find this out about themselves! 
Have you read some of the many trip reports posted by marvelousmouse?
Since you're new around here you might want to get acquainted with people before making a bunch of (incorrect) assumptions.
Have you read some of the many trip reports posted by marvelousmouse?
Since you're new around here you might want to get acquainted with people before making a bunch of (incorrect) assumptions.
Sep 17th, 2018, 04:53 PM
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I could take offence and sulk because I can’t get a drink on account of not having my ID, or I could just be happy someone’s mistaken me for being a student again. I like to think I’m far more fabulous now than I was then!I didn’t start traveling solo until my late twenties. I’ve had hostel roommates in their late teens, and last time, my roommate was in her sixties. I like hostels—mostly because you meet a wide variety of people. You probably won’t believe me—but a lot of my roommates? Have been teachers, nurses, bank managers. Like me, a lot of them didn’t have the money to travel when they WERE students. And now they don’t want to spend money on a hotel room. I could spend my food budget on a nice midrange hotel, and then my housing budget on food if I wanted more privacy. I do occasionally. But I’m a mouse that Iikes to dine like a queen!
I wasn’t calling into question the authenticity of your experiences, if that’s what upset you. If group travel works for you, it works for you. It just sounded to me like you get upset when a group experience doesn’t work out the way you’d like, and the easiest way to avoid group issues is to not travel with a group. It doesn’t work for me, mostly because I find tour food disappointing, and because very few people want to spend all day looking at textiles or surgeon museums or ruins or any of the dozens of other things I find fascintating (and my family assures me most people don’t!) so I suppose I was encouraging you to strike out on your own. If you don’t want to, that’s fine as well. I have a friend who is currently trying to convince me to spend a week on a tropical beach with her, and then a week skiing in Japan. She just relocated, she wants me to visit, she knows I like travel...but I’m probably not going for it, because the parts of that trip that don’t appeal to me are 1) the beach and 2) the skiing. And those are the parts I know she loves. We’re not at all compatible as travel buddies. Time off, money, (and life) are finite resources—do what makes you happy.
Sep 17th, 2018, 05:21 PM
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I certainly didn't mean to offend and was a bit taken aback by the reaction. One of the problems with the written word is that tone is often misinterpreted.
There's no doubt that the best way to avoid group issues is to avoid groups, but I find the smaller groups are usually cordial if not friendly. Meals have not been an issue. In fact, many were downright delicious. But I pick tour companies that are known for taking good care of their travelers.
I'm trying to remember the last time I was in a hostel. Think it was Maine about 45 years ago LOL!!!
I do understand that everyone must do what their budget and preferences dictate. I'm sure you've met many interesting characters along the way. While issues with my back and muscles sometimes mean I have to cut the day short I don't miss much.
I was hoping that this forum would be a good place to exchange travel tips. It's amazing how much knowledge travel imparts.
One tip I learned on another forum and have passed on several times is how ironing U.S. bills will crisp them right up - and solve the problem of wrinkled cash that unacceptable for exchange in many countries.
People's travel preferences are very individual. I travel internationally whenever I can. My brother only traveled in the U.S. My sister doesn't cross county lines. We're all different!
There's no doubt that the best way to avoid group issues is to avoid groups, but I find the smaller groups are usually cordial if not friendly. Meals have not been an issue. In fact, many were downright delicious. But I pick tour companies that are known for taking good care of their travelers.
I'm trying to remember the last time I was in a hostel. Think it was Maine about 45 years ago LOL!!!
I do understand that everyone must do what their budget and preferences dictate. I'm sure you've met many interesting characters along the way. While issues with my back and muscles sometimes mean I have to cut the day short I don't miss much.
I was hoping that this forum would be a good place to exchange travel tips. It's amazing how much knowledge travel imparts.
One tip I learned on another forum and have passed on several times is how ironing U.S. bills will crisp them right up - and solve the problem of wrinkled cash that unacceptable for exchange in many countries.
People's travel preferences are very individual. I travel internationally whenever I can. My brother only traveled in the U.S. My sister doesn't cross county lines. We're all different!
Sep 17th, 2018, 05:47 PM
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Apology definitely appreciated-and like Thursday says, saunter on over to the other forums. Except Canada, which oddly lacks action. What’s your favorite destination so far?
Well, they sound like my siblings! One doesn’t want to leave the state, and another refuses to stay anywhere less than a four star hotel. That would not be a problem if she had a champagne budget to match her champagne tastes. She does have a car from this decade and a nice designer living room set though. Last week, she was trying to guess where I bought my couch. Alas, my couch has no pedigree—other than dumpster. I like to think it has lived a full, adventurous life, but I suspect it once belonged to a college student’s well meaning aunt. (I live in a college town. As you probably know, they leave the most amazing things on the curb every year. I think the chartreuse velvet really accentuates my dark bookshelves—my partner, in the meantime, is plotting the couch’s demise, I just know it.)
If we’re trading travel tips, mine are
1) however lightly you packed, you should unpack at least half of your bag. All you need are good shoes and clean underwear.
And
2) EAT EVERYTHING. NO REGRETS. (Except the lampredotto.)
Well, they sound like my siblings! One doesn’t want to leave the state, and another refuses to stay anywhere less than a four star hotel. That would not be a problem if she had a champagne budget to match her champagne tastes. She does have a car from this decade and a nice designer living room set though. Last week, she was trying to guess where I bought my couch. Alas, my couch has no pedigree—other than dumpster. I like to think it has lived a full, adventurous life, but I suspect it once belonged to a college student’s well meaning aunt. (I live in a college town. As you probably know, they leave the most amazing things on the curb every year. I think the chartreuse velvet really accentuates my dark bookshelves—my partner, in the meantime, is plotting the couch’s demise, I just know it.)
If we’re trading travel tips, mine are
1) however lightly you packed, you should unpack at least half of your bag. All you need are good shoes and clean underwear.
And
2) EAT EVERYTHING. NO REGRETS. (Except the lampredotto.)
Last edited by marvelousmouse; Sep 17th, 2018 at 05:51 PM.
Sep 17th, 2018, 05:56 PM
#14
@marvelousmouse - I wish you hadn't said that about packing. I just finished packing my two-wheeler for a flight tomorrow and I know I have more stuff than usual. However, I am headed to the UK and not coming back until November so I have to pack for cold this time.
I think you might add rotten shark to the don't eat list. And duran.
I think you might add rotten shark to the don't eat list. And duran.
Sep 17th, 2018, 05:56 PM
#15
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I’m firmly committed to solo, independent travel. It is, IMO, an extraordinary (and addicting) pleasure to be able to do what I want when I want without compromising with anyone else. I’ve been fortunate to take 20 international trips (more than many, less than I'd like, far less than some Fodorites), all but one of which were 3 weeks or longer. The longest group tour I’ve taken included one overnight stay. Yes, just one. It worked for my purposes, but the evening was, for me, the least enjoyable part of the trip. All the rest of my travels have been solo and independent. There are some places I won’t currently go as a solo traveler (India, for example); I am saving those locations for days when I am older and less capable of independent travel, when I might (reluctantly) decide to join a group. But to each his/her own!
Sep 17th, 2018, 06:46 PM
#16
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AUGH
I was trying to forget I knew what rotten shark tasted like. Thanks a lot, Thursday. Bad enough I saw a picture of lampredotto on social media yesterday. The texture immediately came back to me. Ugh. NOT going to google Duran. NOT.
let me add an addendum to my packing rule: unless you are going to Britain. Because you need at least three different coats/wardrobes for British weather. Feel better?
have a wonderful trip! I’m trying to save up like mad because I really want my next trip to be a long one, either Spain/Greece/Italy, or central/Eastern Europe, but it’s taking me a serious amount of will power to not buy a cheap ticket to go to Paris or London for a week. six whole months without a visit to major art museum, my life, it is so hard. And London’s Natural History Museum And V&A have the neatest special exhibitions going on. (Plus yoga at NH’s Hintze Hall under the whale skeleton. I just need to find a way to live in Europe.)
I was trying to forget I knew what rotten shark tasted like. Thanks a lot, Thursday. Bad enough I saw a picture of lampredotto on social media yesterday. The texture immediately came back to me. Ugh. NOT going to google Duran. NOT.
let me add an addendum to my packing rule: unless you are going to Britain. Because you need at least three different coats/wardrobes for British weather. Feel better?
have a wonderful trip! I’m trying to save up like mad because I really want my next trip to be a long one, either Spain/Greece/Italy, or central/Eastern Europe, but it’s taking me a serious amount of will power to not buy a cheap ticket to go to Paris or London for a week. six whole months without a visit to major art museum, my life, it is so hard. And London’s Natural History Museum And V&A have the neatest special exhibitions going on. (Plus yoga at NH’s Hintze Hall under the whale skeleton. I just need to find a way to live in Europe.)
Sep 17th, 2018, 08:12 PM
#17
Thanks mm! Just to add a little more temptation to that cheap ticket, I'm going to be visiting the new Scottish outpost of the V&A in Dundee, just opening this month. Their first exhibition is on ocean liners. So Scottish weather... And while I was sweltering at home in NC, my younger sister in England mentioned she was seeing the first signs of autumn and I realized I needed different clothes.
https://www.vam.ac.uk/dundee
Either of those longer trips would be great. (I'm "paying" for my ticket with frequent flyer miles from my credit card.)
https://www.vam.ac.uk/dundee
Either of those longer trips would be great. (I'm "paying" for my ticket with frequent flyer miles from my credit card.)
Sep 17th, 2018, 08:39 PM
#18
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Ocean liners, you say? *looks at airline tickets again, reminds self...again... I want to visit family next month and have only so much pto *
that museum looks fantastic, if you go, please report back so I can live vicariously through you
Erveryone here is whipping out their puffer jackets and I am still trying to wear my birkenstocks. Hey, it’s still over 55 degrees, think that still counts as Indian summer lol
normally, I don’t mind the new site, except on nights like this when it won’t let me properly edit, punctuate, or capitalize. Bloody phone. No wonder the OP mistook me for one of her students.
Last edited by marvelousmouse; Sep 17th, 2018 at 08:44 PM.
Sep 18th, 2018, 08:02 AM
#19
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I have traveled alone for many years. I find that I get to go places that I want to go and do things that I want to do. Many of my friends and family think that I am a bit crazy. However, the last few trips that I have taken with a companion have not worked out so well for me. Somehow I become the "cruise director" and they have left their brains at home. Those situations never end up being fun for me.
So far my independent travel has been within the US. Recently I have been thinking about taking a tour to the UK. Being my first group travel I was planning on booking a single occupancy and thought that maybe I might seem a little unapproachable to others. After reading the responses above I am relieved to see that single occupancy would not be out of the ordinary. I just like a little time to myself each day.
So far my independent travel has been within the US. Recently I have been thinking about taking a tour to the UK. Being my first group travel I was planning on booking a single occupancy and thought that maybe I might seem a little unapproachable to others. After reading the responses above I am relieved to see that single occupancy would not be out of the ordinary. I just like a little time to myself each day.
Sep 18th, 2018, 08:49 AM
#20
But really, there no need whatever for a tour to the UK. It is super easy to DIY and lots of help available here on the Europe board. (You might look at the Rick Steves tours if you really want one, they give you free time and have central hotels and excellent guides.)
