ValCanada

I'm glad, Lolly100, that you had a great trip - I've enjoyed reading about it.

For others who may be nervous about going out alone in the evenings I suggest, first, that you might be WAY too tired from walking all day to stay out very late very often. I might sound old but I'm only 39 - still, I get up very early and walk and walk and walk so by 8 or 9pm, I'm ready for bed!

My favourite way of spending late evenings out is at the theatre. I've met people at intermissions who've helped me know where the "after-theatre" crowd hangs out.

As far as being scared in a hotel room at night, I suggest taking this opportunity for some well-deserved pampering. If your hotel offers it, treat yourself to an in-room massage. In any hotel with a decent bathroom, if you pack for it, you can give yourself your own spa treatment - a pedicure, an Epsom salt or baking soda soak with some small candles, etc. You can write about your day's adventures, rent a movie, etc.. Even when you've travelled a long way to see a place, there's absolutely nothing wrong with spending an hour or two at the end of the day in your room - I find it very refreshing and it actually improves the enjoyment of my very full days.

suze

When I travel solo, I usually don't go out at night. Not because I'm afraid but more likely I'm very tired. Same as at home, I stay in most evenings.

After a nice dinner somewhere nearby, I walk around a bit, then head for the hotel and enjoy a relaxing and early evening. Watch TV in French, have a glass of wine or a dessert I've bought. Read a novel. Have a shower or bath. Look at tourist information to plan the next day. Like that.

JBHapgood

I'll agree with suze. I've had a fulfilling time touring and seeing things during the day. So at night I want nothing more than to relax, review my pictures, and plan the next day's activities. I'm on vacation, after all, and not a mad dash. I like to have my main meal at lunch, and not just because it's cheaper and more comfortable. I have no problem with a picnic dinner in my room at night.

The caveat here is that I'm not a nighlife person who enjoys clubs and discos. So I don't feel I'm missing anything by not availing myself of those attractions. But there may be difficulty if you do enjoy those things but are reluctant to do them alone.

suze

I'm not a nightclub person either, but if I wanted to do something like that, I'd research and attempt to find one particular club that seemed like a good bet, and find out how to use a taxi to get there and back to the hotel.

Other evening options that might appeal, and be more comfortable for someone solo could be a drink in the hotel bar, going to a movie, live music, theater, that kind of thing. I know those are easier (not to mention earlier in the evening) than going to a dance club alone, at least for me.

khermann

Suze, I've a question related to your last post where you mention going into a hotel bar. In Europe, would a woman be looked at askance going into there or other bar or nightclub by herself? There are a few in Paris I'd be interested in going into (like the buddha-bar), but don't know how well that is accepted.

ValCanada

That's a good question - I can't help you with the answer but here's what I do: I waltz in like I belong there, pull up to the bar, order a drink and start chatting with someone - even the bartender will do. If someone creepy comes around, I'll tell him that I have to go because my friends are meeting me "next door," or something - if he's REALLY creepy, I'll tell the bartender and get the hell out of there (neither of those scenarios have EVER happened to me, by the way). If I ever DO feel weird about being alone, I'd leave (that's never happened, either). Personally, I'm outgoing enough that I'd feel comfortable doing this at home but I feel even more comfortable doing it where there's an almost-zero chance of running into someone I know - even if you're shy, give it a try. The worst that will happen is that you finish your drink and leave.

suze

topping for Incrowded... a poster on the Europe forum who is in Italy, but feeling afraid to travel around solo.

suze

khermann~ hmmm I'm not sure, I'm certainly no expert on bars in Europe (unfortunately!).

I mention a hotel bar because I think generally speaking, these are more low-key than a nightclub. Honestly, I would peak in the window or stroll thru the lobby and try to judge if I'd be comfortable there. Late afternoons or early evenings often seem easier than at night.

I'm not extroverted myself, rather quiet actually. But I figure I need a glass of wine as much as the next person -lol!

The only place I have been where I did not go in, were a few bars I have seen in Mexico, when I peaked in there were only a couple women and a LOT of men and the women looked like they were "working" if you know what I mean!

dadaland

Done my first solo trip to Prague last year. It all happened when I sat at work really bored and decided to go there for a few days, never asked anybody want to go or not.
Hotel, flight, insurance, money, guide books all ready and didn't sink in I'm doing it alone until I was at the airport. (not to mention I can't speak Czech!)
When I was there I was glad, totally got blew away by the beauty of the city. Plan my day as I like it, I like to get up early to do a lot of sightseeing and then nip back to the hotel about 5 for a quick nap and shower until out for dinner again.
Although I had done semi solo travelling before, like travelling to other cities for job interviews or day trips locally, it's totally different when miles away from home.
Basically I never worked up any nerve, just wanted to go to one place and went. Still pretty much a novice in terms of solo travelling and I'm getting more practice in Berlin this year!

Kaka

I have been on several solo trips. I started in my late 20s (now in my early 30s)

For the most part, have had a great time. A fabulous time actually. However, sometimes, bad judgement and bad people do come into play. On my trip to Cuba, I drank too much in the hotel bar (I figured I was safe amongst my travel "family". One man followed me to my room, I opened the door, he didn't seem like a threat because I hung with him all evening...I felt like I knew him. Long story short, I was raped.

With that being said, although that was only a coupld of months ago, I am planning an 8 week solo trip to Europe. I'm not letting that incident ruin my travelling life. Back on the horse so to speak.

I'm not writing this to freak people out, but to just reiterate, that sometimes we use bad judgement (I would never open up my front door to a near stranger at 4am, why did I do it there?)
I was very very drunk. Much too drunk for my own good. That is not to say what he did is my fault, but moving forward, I will be adjusting some of my behaviours to ensure my safety.

Happy safe travelling to everyone!

Bloom

Kaka- I'm so sorry for what happened to you in Cuba

Don't beat yourself up- we all make mistakes in judgments at some point in our lives.

I don't know that I could have come out of such an experience with your positive attitude. You're a real trooper.

Thank you for sharing something that must be difficult to talk about. I know it'll go a long way in helping women to be vigilant about personal safety when traveling solo.

Bloom

Kaka

thanks bloom.

i'm trying to enroll myself into a self defence course this summer before my trip to europe. can't hurt right?

Belledame

May I recommend Impact/Model Mugging? They have several locations across the country and are really the best option for women. I took their Basics and Advanced in my mid-20s. A friend took all their courses and has been an instructor for several years.

windycity847

Great to see that others are enjoying traveling solo. As for me, plan to go to Paris after a cruise. I've been to Paris before back in 1990 but have the ability to do lay over with stop there for free. I've heard the L'ouve is a must, want to stay some where reasonable near a yoga class, Ashtanga or Hatha. Any suggestions? Other things to that might be enjoyable during a day or two stay. Given the great posts so far, I look forward to your responses.

suze

I really don't imagine self defense is necessary. Just don't drink so much so as to lose your common sense! I mean this most kindly and with understanding as I drink aLOT myself, but not out with men when I am traveling solo.

suze

windycity, you might want to make a new post of your own with those questions, it's kind of lost in this long thread on a totally different subject.

Kaka

Suze, I was raped. My drinking made it easier for the rapist, but certainly wasn't what enabled him to do it. I think he is capable of raping regardless. Please do not deter women from empowering themselves with self defense. Your comments make it seem that it's my responsiblility to not get raped and therefore my fault that I did. I frankly resent it.

eurotraveller

Kaka, I am very sorry that you were raped. What a terrible thing. Did you report it? Will justice be served?

Suze, your comment that self defense isn't necessary and to just use common sense and not drink so much sounded a bit heartless. I agree with kaka that you make it sound like the only reason she was raped was because she had been drinking. I have taken a self defense course and I think it is WELL worth doing, especially when traveling solo.

While traveling solo, I never accept a drink from a stranger unless I have seen the bartender pour it and I have had my eye on it until it reaches my lips. I also don't leave my drink unattended due to so many cases of ruffies.

Once again, kaka, I am so sorry that harm was inflicted upon you. There is no justification for rape.

suze

I apologize. That was not my intent. There is NO excuse for rape, ever, and I am truly sorry for your experience.

But I do think being more sober when you are on your own in a foreign situation is a reasonable suggestion to pass on to other women, right? Self defense will hardly be a help if you are not in good enough shape to be able to use it.

suze

I was hoping there would be continued replies or a new thread with information on the classes Kaka or others are taking for self defense and if they do find it helpful.