Wasn't sure where exactly to post this long observation by a Hostel manager. A fellow traveler and kind friend who happens to be one of the key mods over on the reddit Thorn Tree (Lonely Planet) just posted the manager's observation. Thought I'd re-post it here to see what folks on Fodors might think. 'I work in a hostel and I�ve noticed something over the last couple of years that I don�t think people are really talking about properly.

Everyone says �hostel vibe is bad� "nobody talks at that hostel" or leaves reviews saying the "atmosphere was dead"� but honestly, a lot of the time it�s not the hostel, it�s the guests.

We see it every day.
People cooking in a shared kitchen with headphones on.
People sitting in dorm beds behind privacy curtains watching Netflix.
People staying in the same room for a week and not even learning each other�s names.

At the same time, those same guests will say the atmosphere was bad.

The weird part is, if you suggest removing things like privacy curtains to make rooms more social, people don�t want that either. Everyone wants total privacy and a great social vibe, but without giving anything up or putting themselves out there.

We run events all the time. Bar crawls, wine and cheese nights, paint and sip, yoga, group dinners, movie nights, town walks and more. Good stuff. But turnout is way lower than it used to be if anybody actually turns up. People say they want to meet others, but when it comes to actually showing up or starting a conversation, they just don�t.

There�s also been a noticeable shift toward this kind of mindset. �I paid, entertain me.�

But that�s not really what hostels are. This isn�t a hotel where everything is done for you. The atmosphere in a hostel has always come from the people staying there. It only works if guests actually participate in the hostel.

It feels like we�ve gone from travellers creating the vibe together to expecting it to already exist when we arrive. Which room is the fun in? We actually had one guest blame the poor atmosphere on the bar stools in the kitchen, and another because there were no windows in the movie room.

I�ve also had a look around recently, and it�s not just us. Pretty much every hostel on Hostelworld seems to have taken a noticeable hit in atmosphere ratings over the past few years, often dropping by 10 to 20 percent. That suggests it�s a wider shift in guest behaviour rather than individual hostels suddenly getting worse.

It�s like
�I want to meet people�
but also
�I don�t want to talk first�
and also
�I want my own private space�
and also
"nobody will say hello"

I�m not blaming anyone. I think phones, streaming, and maybe even post COVID social habits have changed how people interact. But it does feel like expectations haven�t caught up with reality.

For anyone travelling right now or thinking about staying in a hostel, a few simple tips that genuinely make a huge difference.

- Take your headphones out in shared spaces. It gives off a vibe that you don't want to speak to anybody
- Say a simple �hey, where are you from?� to your roommates.
- If you�re cooking, ask someone what they�re making. It starts conversations instantly.
- Go to at least one hostel event, even if you�re not 100 percent feeling it.
- Don�t wait for other people to start the conversation. Most people are just as unsure as you.
- Only close your curtain on your bed or pod when you're going to sleep.
- Spend a bit of time in common areas instead of staying in bed on your phone.
- Learn the names of the people in your room. It changes everything.
- If someone invites you for a drink, they�re not necessarily asking you to drink alcohol specifically. They�re inviting connections. Say yes, even if it�s a soft drink or zero alcohol beer. �I don�t drink� often shuts the moment down, when it�s really just about sharing time together.
- Talk to reception/ housekeeping staff - they're working there because they want to socialise

None of this is groundbreaking, and it might even sound obvious or a bit awkward, but this is literally how hostel atmospheres are created.

If everyone waits for �the vibe� to appear, it won�t.

Curious if other travellers or hostel workers have noticed the same thing?'

I am done. the dorm

Maybe I�m generalizing but I think most hostel users are under the general age of Fodorites and some did experience about 3 years of reduced travel and social interaction and now plenty of them still work alone from home so social interactions are really not their strong suit.

I have learned to never pick up the phone and call anyone under 40. It completely freaks them out! My own offspring immediately assume one of us is in the hospital.

If you watch the funny generations at work videos on LinkedIn, they always show millennials freaking out when the phone rings and Gen Z doesn�t even hear the phone because they have headphones on. These are generalizations of course, but I find them generally true!

I notice that when you get people socialize out in the world they often are not aware of how loudly they are speaking or purposefully want me to hear them two tables over. So, even I now have my noise canceling earbuds at the ready for loud talkers emergencies.

(I identify as Gen X and apparently my little 5 year generation is now named Generation Jones.)

The good news is that a lot of the younger generations engage quite happily with we older people and don�t feel like we crimp their style.

My best work pals are mostly 30-50.

Agree with what gruezi said!

Usually a safe bet!

LOL Fra, gruezi is like family!

#2 - Gruezi, "I notice that when you get people socialize out in the world they often are not aware of how loudly they are speaking or purposefully want me to hear them two tables over. So, even I now have my noise canceling earbuds at the ready for loud talkers emergencies."

Had a chuckle at this, Gruezi. Loud speech used to be a sign that the speaker was hard of hearing themselves. Our Building Manager is & I'm forever doing the " hand down lower the volume" signal & telling him I'm just here.

I don't own noise cancelling things - like to be conscious of what's going on around me - but have often been tempted to say, "Speak up - I don't think the people in Brisbane can hear you" when people are shouting nearby.

I am sorry but I have never stayed in a hostel. Years in military barracks situations (not to mention out in the weeds in tents and making my way to the nearest "facilities" in the dark with a flashlight) were enough and I didn't do that until after I was beyond the hostel stage anyway.. But that's probably unfair to say and to imply there is some sort of "stage" as if people grow out of the whole thing. Surely there are very reasonable people who perhaps would not be able even to travel if they could not stay in a hostel. I must admit that if a hostel stay were the only way I could go somewhere or visit a place I probably would pass and as I write those words I am also thinking perhaps I am being very foolish.

I think this is really the main message there is more about "kids these days" (lol) and current trends and social behavior patterns, rather than about staying in a hostel.

Suze, you make a good point. Brings to mind some hostel tales from back in the daze of yore.

1) the Melbun hostel was a full-on party; their unisex sauna always had someone putting hash and/or alcohol onto the rocks.
2) the Sydney equivalent's dorm was a full-on live sex show; one of the randy migrant laborers there brought a different gal back to the men's dorm nearly every night (inc. staff), where the two would perform with one of them holding a flashlight; I was always too busy to watch, entranced in my geography revision.
3) the Lk. Louise hostel once had the most amazing attached cafe; it was also part of the remarkable-value 'Rocky Express', a 10-day van tour that took travelers to stay at a different hostel every night, some in grizzly country.
4) one Cinqueterre hostel gave away world-class posters of that area free; we still display one that we had picture-plaqued.

I am done. the unhostile hostel

- If someone invites you for a drink, they’re not necessarily asking you to drink alcohol specifically. They’re inviting connections. Say yes, even if it’s a soft drink or zero alcohol beer. “I don’t drink” often shuts the moment down, when it’s really just about sharing time together.

Well that's good advice, anywhere, not only in a hostel.

Yes, we once had that happen years ago in our neighborhood after reaching out to one of the other long-standing DINK couples on our small street. The wife's rejection of our innocent offer to share a bottle was so strong that Mrs Z and I still use it today between ourselves to mock any such over-strident responses. Maybe that woman once had substance abuse issues? Dunno...
I am done. the reaching out

Well if we're just generally making fun of the younger generations, sobriety seems to be the new "cool".