Young lady travelling alone
Mar 11th, 2004, 05:45 AM
#21
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Ira, LOL!
As a mother of 4 daughters in their 20's, I completely understand. It's our JOB to worry about our kids, even when they're adults.
But that doesn't mean we're going to stand in their way or keep them from seeing the world. In fact, we should encourage them to do so.
If your daughter is a solid, common-sense kind of person, I have no doubt that she will have a wonderful trip, and meet lots of interesting people.
But will you worry about her? Of course you will!
As a mother of 4 daughters in their 20's, I completely understand. It's our JOB to worry about our kids, even when they're adults.
But that doesn't mean we're going to stand in their way or keep them from seeing the world. In fact, we should encourage them to do so.
If your daughter is a solid, common-sense kind of person, I have no doubt that she will have a wonderful trip, and meet lots of interesting people.
But will you worry about her? Of course you will!
Mar 11th, 2004, 06:02 AM
#22
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Dear Lady,
Europe is a far safer place than the U.S. of A. If you don't worry about your daughter when she's in the U.S., you most certainly don't need to worry about her when she's across the pond.
You're welcome.
Europe is a far safer place than the U.S. of A. If you don't worry about your daughter when she's in the U.S., you most certainly don't need to worry about her when she's across the pond.
You're welcome.
Mar 11th, 2004, 06:27 AM
#23
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I admire the niceties that are extended to somebody whose form of comfort and re-assurance comes from people she never knew in a very public Internet message board.
Full moon or not, I don't admit to overlooking Lady's concern for her daughter's safety. My issue is her bringing this up in a public forum. Yes, so far, everyone's been positive about her daughter's trip. However, and I hate to think of it, but shouldn't somebody mention the possible negatives of travelling as a young adult! This may not be re-assuring, but , at least some semblance of reality is offered.
In terms of being realistic somebody posted this un-validated, un-substantiated and ill-timed (due to the very unfortunate current event) bold statement -"Europe is a far safer place than the U.S. of A."????
Any place in this world is only as safe as one can make it to be when one is there.
Can you re-assure that Lady's daughter is fully capable of this?
Full moon or not, I don't admit to overlooking Lady's concern for her daughter's safety. My issue is her bringing this up in a public forum. Yes, so far, everyone's been positive about her daughter's trip. However, and I hate to think of it, but shouldn't somebody mention the possible negatives of travelling as a young adult! This may not be re-assuring, but , at least some semblance of reality is offered.
In terms of being realistic somebody posted this un-validated, un-substantiated and ill-timed (due to the very unfortunate current event) bold statement -"Europe is a far safer place than the U.S. of A."????
Any place in this world is only as safe as one can make it to be when one is there.
Can you re-assure that Lady's daughter is fully capable of this?
Mar 11th, 2004, 07:16 AM
#24
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I can assure that European parents are as nervous if their children travel to the other side of the pond.
Can something happen to people travelling in Europe? Sure it can, millions of people live here and not all of them are angels. But the same is true for the USA or any other place. And in comparison to many other places on earth, Europe and especially the places visited by tourists are very safe.
Will she be able to cope with it at 22? Probably. I can only agree with Elina that travelling alone at a much younger age is a pretty common experience for many European teenagers. And they aren't necessarily solid and common sense or in any way better acquainted to the different cultures or languages of the dozen countries they are visiting by interrail than any American. Honestly, Europe in the summer is full of teenagers behaving as complete fools, lacking what's often described as "street savvy" and inviting desaster. Still they return home with nothing worse than having something stolen, having slept in a railway station and having had a few momentous hangovers.
Can something happen to people travelling in Europe? Sure it can, millions of people live here and not all of them are angels. But the same is true for the USA or any other place. And in comparison to many other places on earth, Europe and especially the places visited by tourists are very safe.
Will she be able to cope with it at 22? Probably. I can only agree with Elina that travelling alone at a much younger age is a pretty common experience for many European teenagers. And they aren't necessarily solid and common sense or in any way better acquainted to the different cultures or languages of the dozen countries they are visiting by interrail than any American. Honestly, Europe in the summer is full of teenagers behaving as complete fools, lacking what's often described as "street savvy" and inviting desaster. Still they return home with nothing worse than having something stolen, having slept in a railway station and having had a few momentous hangovers.
Mar 11th, 2004, 08:35 AM
#25
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Full Moon, NYU, UN Huhhhhhh?
Okay...now that the claryvoyant folks have "spoken"...I mean "posted" GREAT!
This traveler is just as SAFE as the next traveler.
I am lock step with Taylor-Made.
If the Lady was asking about herself like we all do then that is a suitcase of another color.
As a parent it seems academic at best to ask folks on the world wide web about MY GROWN CHILD...now, there you have your full moon in effect!
BTW: I like full moons.
That aside...
If you really want to know about SAFETY then contact the Travel Advisory for USA citizens or for whatever country you might be from.
From: Full Deck, Common Sense, Stanford, Harvard, Princeton and Yale with a no thank you sent to UC Berkeley...and that counts for?
Right...NOTHING, this is a travel site!!!!!!
Weary,
Oaktown Traveler
Okay...now that the claryvoyant folks have "spoken"...I mean "posted" GREAT!
This traveler is just as SAFE as the next traveler.
I am lock step with Taylor-Made.
If the Lady was asking about herself like we all do then that is a suitcase of another color.
As a parent it seems academic at best to ask folks on the world wide web about MY GROWN CHILD...now, there you have your full moon in effect!
BTW: I like full moons.
That aside...
If you really want to know about SAFETY then contact the Travel Advisory for USA citizens or for whatever country you might be from.
From: Full Deck, Common Sense, Stanford, Harvard, Princeton and Yale with a no thank you sent to UC Berkeley...and that counts for?
Right...NOTHING, this is a travel site!!!!!!
Weary,
Oaktown Traveler
Mar 11th, 2004, 09:34 AM
#26
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You are probably going to concerned whether she travels alone or with a tour group. There is nothing anyone can do to prevent you from worrying. You can help her (and make yourself feel better) by encouraging her to do (her own) research, and by suggesting that she take some condoms.
Mar 11th, 2004, 09:45 AM
#28
There's no way to answer "how worried should I be about her safety if she goes alone?" - it's impossible to say. Depends on her personality, travel style, choice of destination, luck of the draw, etc.
I think what you can do in practical terms, as touched on above, is make sure she has access to funds. I firmly (as a female solo traveler) believe that not going the very most shoestring budget route can improve your safety, and obviously comfort. So phone cards, pre-paid credit or ATM card for emergencies might ease your mind and her travels.
I'm 50 and my mother still worries when I travel alone, but she tries not to let on!
I think what you can do in practical terms, as touched on above, is make sure she has access to funds. I firmly (as a female solo traveler) believe that not going the very most shoestring budget route can improve your safety, and obviously comfort. So phone cards, pre-paid credit or ATM card for emergencies might ease your mind and her travels.
I'm 50 and my mother still worries when I travel alone, but she tries not to let on!
Mar 11th, 2004, 09:54 AM
#29
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My 25 yr.old daughter has been traveling on her own for years. She has found that staying in youth hostels, she is never alone, unless she wants to be.
I trust she will be safe and leave it at that. Worrying won't change what might happen or help her in any way, it only stresses You.
I trust she will be safe and leave it at that. Worrying won't change what might happen or help her in any way, it only stresses You.
Mar 11th, 2004, 11:16 AM
#31
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Lady, mothers worry about their kids ... especially daughter travelling alone. I'm 35 and my mom still worries, but she is better about keeping it to herself by now. ;-)
You should congratulate yourself on rearing a child who is "solid, common sense kind of person" and drink a glass of good wine when your concerns flare up.
I hope that she has a wonderful, safe trip!
You should congratulate yourself on rearing a child who is "solid, common sense kind of person" and drink a glass of good wine when your concerns flare up.
I hope that she has a wonderful, safe trip!
Mar 11th, 2004, 02:07 PM
#32
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I don;t wish to be harsh, bu if I were your daughter I would be mortified at your dragging this issue into a public forum. Granted some parents may feel it necessary to worry about sensible adult offspring doing perfectly natural things - but that's no reason to make it the subject of pubic debate. All you're demontrating is your complete lack of confidence in your daughter and her ability to behave as an adult. IMHO your concerns are way out of line - and you really need to consider what they say about you and your need to keep your daughter a child within your control.
Mar 11th, 2004, 02:17 PM
#33
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This may be a public forum, but it is anonymous, so I don't see that Lady's daughter has any need to be "mortified."
Based on my own personal behavior, even though I was a sensible young woman, I did some pretty stupid things when I was 22. So I don't think Lady is super-controlling just because she's worried about her daughter. I never took a trip my entire life that my mother didn't worry about me til I was home safe!
Based on my own personal behavior, even though I was a sensible young woman, I did some pretty stupid things when I was 22. So I don't think Lady is super-controlling just because she's worried about her daughter. I never took a trip my entire life that my mother didn't worry about me til I was home safe!
Mar 11th, 2004, 03:01 PM
#35
My dear Lady, She'll be on the same behavior there as where she lives at 22. It's ok to worry. Hopefully she will stay at small hotels where she is always noticed and can interact with the staff should anything go wrong.
At least her belongings will be safe.
Better she pay more for lodgeings rather than worry about safety in an insecure area.
At least her belongings will be safe.
Better she pay more for lodgeings rather than worry about safety in an insecure area.
Mar 11th, 2004, 06:12 PM
#36
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Naturally all mothers worry about their children - my mom still worries about me and I'm 47. But this is byond worry. If you read the original post lady first (several times) tried to stop her daughter from going, eventually gave that up - and is now - I would suggest - collecting up opinions to have another go at her poor daughter. This is beyond normal motherly concern - especially about a daughter who she admits has a lot of common sense and has been to europe twice before. To me it sounds close to pathological.
Mar 11th, 2004, 06:31 PM
#37
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Dear Lady,
Greetings from another mother, of a grown daughter, who is leaving tomorrow morning for Brussels, Amsterdam and Paris.
I did not try to stop her, she is old enough to do what she wants, and when my mom tried to stop me when I was a young traveler, I ignored her. So the best thing is to remember that she is an adult, all those years of teaching her the way to handle herself out in the world will be useful now and be proud of her..she is not some wimpy whining girl that lives at home and is afraid to go out.
Enjoy that knowledge and remember, the more freedom you give your children, the more they come back to you.
And someday you can sit back and smile while she tells you how worried she is about her daughter going on a big trip alone
Greetings from another mother, of a grown daughter, who is leaving tomorrow morning for Brussels, Amsterdam and Paris.
I did not try to stop her, she is old enough to do what she wants, and when my mom tried to stop me when I was a young traveler, I ignored her. So the best thing is to remember that she is an adult, all those years of teaching her the way to handle herself out in the world will be useful now and be proud of her..she is not some wimpy whining girl that lives at home and is afraid to go out.
Enjoy that knowledge and remember, the more freedom you give your children, the more they come back to you.
And someday you can sit back and smile while she tells you how worried she is about her daughter going on a big trip alone
Mar 11th, 2004, 06:49 PM
#38
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This thread's interesting, to say the least. I just didn't get out of Lady's post that she was asking anyone how to relate to her daughter.
Y'all know that it's the sentences that end in a question mark (?) which are ones requesting advice, right?
One question - and she brought it to you because you are experienced travelers in Europe, and she isn't. "how worried should I be about her safety if she goes alone?" That's it. That's the question.
Some pretty good answers here, from various perspectives, amid the chaff.
Mar 11th, 2004, 07:49 PM
#39
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I've hesitated posting again because I'm not particularlly masochistic, but here goes. First, thank you, Clifton. You got it. And thanks to the informative posters. Second, if you read the post, you'll see I never tried to stop her from going, just told her I wasn't comfortable about the alone part. I'm not pathalogical, I'm not a control freak and the guilt-trip thing never has worked with her! I'm not clinging (believe me, she goes to school 500 miles from home) but we do have a close relationship and I feel comfortable telling her how I feel. It's like I tell her about when she's driving home from school, I trust her, it's all the other drivers on the road I worry about.
BTW, I'm glad I'm not the mother of some of you out there. I'd be so embarrassed.
BTW, I'm glad I'm not the mother of some of you out there. I'd be so embarrassed.
Mar 11th, 2004, 08:55 PM
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I'm sure Lady has gotten all the responses she wants, but I just had to say:
I'm 21, female, and look forward to taking a solo trip somewhere, someday. But, OF COURSE, parents will worry and it's not even pathological to try to disuade us from it. And I find absolutely nothing wrong with her asking a question - the question itself still falls within the realsm of "travel" questions and since this is board is supposed to discuss travel, seems perfectly normal to me. Even though I'm 21 and not a mother but merely a daughter, I understand that good parents care about their kids. Whether or not you are offended by her post, have some human compassion. We should people caring about each other at a time like this, not beating people down for it.
I'm 21, female, and look forward to taking a solo trip somewhere, someday. But, OF COURSE, parents will worry and it's not even pathological to try to disuade us from it. And I find absolutely nothing wrong with her asking a question - the question itself still falls within the realsm of "travel" questions and since this is board is supposed to discuss travel, seems perfectly normal to me. Even though I'm 21 and not a mother but merely a daughter, I understand that good parents care about their kids. Whether or not you are offended by her post, have some human compassion. We should people caring about each other at a time like this, not beating people down for it.
