Hello Fodorites:

We're leaving for our Italy honeymoon in 3 weeks. Tickets, hotel & rental car reservations have been made and confirmed.

Here's my question:

Since my fiance is more of a 'play it by ear' kind of guy, and I'm more of a planner, do you think I need to figure out daily activites & restaurants? Or will it be ok, even better maybe, to wake up each day and decide what to do, ask the locals, see what we feel like doing? Is there a resource you can recommend that I can take with me that will provide us with the tools to "wing it?"

You've got the essentials covered; the rest can be played by ear.

I say wake up and see where the day takes you. As Michael pointed out, you have the important stuff all taken care of.

Congrats and have a great time! Ciao.

Just do enough research in advance to know enough to make good choices each day!

I don't want to plan ahead, other than the major things: hotel, air, and museum reservations in Florence. So, we're going to wing it. I'm taking Rick Steves' and Fodors' guidebooks - between the books and advice from locals, we can figure out restaurants, sights, etc.

With three weeks, I would play it by ear.

Woody

You can certainly play it by ear if that is your preference, but if there are certain things you really want to see, check ahead to see when they are closed so you're not disappointed.

I don't know where you're going in Italy, but if you're going to Florence, it is certainly worth it to make a reservation for the Accademia & Uffizi to avoid wasting hours in line.

If there are certain tours that you want to take, you might want to book those in advance.

I call that planning it.

To me, winging it means I have my airline ticket. You can still do plenty of before trip research and go armed with what's where and what might be on your "to do" list.

Three weeks in Italy, you will have a lovely honeymoon!!

Corkee, I am one that doesn't like every day planned, especially while I am on a trip. But I would assume that there are sites and sights you want to see. I would make a list for each place you will be staying at that does have places that you two want to visit (assuming you do have a "wishlist&quot. I would jot down the information, days and hours opened etc). For example, most of the major museums in Florence are closed on Monday.

If you had heard about any restaurant you really want to try you could jot down their information also.

That way you can wing it but at the same time you will have a referance list to refer to when there is something specific you want to do.

Best wishes on your wedding. May the years be good to both of you.

You've got all the essentials, I say play it by ear from here!

As a "planner" you could bring along information (a single guidebook?).

Once you are there you can supplement with information you'll can find places like the tourist kiosk in train stations, most hotel lobbies, weekly entertainment guides or local newspapers, etc. My favorite and most useful street maps of cities for example are ones I've gotten for free after arrival.

From there decide together what to do each morning over breakfast or lounging around your hotel room in the evenings.

1. Make a list of any musuems, churches or other sites that are "must sees."

2. Determine (by searching this board) whether reservations are strongly recommended. If so, reserve those.

3. Check out the days of the week on which your "must sees" are closed.

It is amazing how much time can be wasted trying to think up what to "wing" at a given time. So I wholeheartedly agree with those who suggest you make lists of places, restaurants, etc. of interest in each location AND their locations, opening/closing times so that you have them at the ready when you are ready to do the next thing.

>Since my fiance is more of a 'play it >by ear' kind of guy, and I'm more of >planner

oh dear!

there is a possibility that you will feel you missed out on a number of must sees which were inportant to you while at the same time he will feel you have been dragging him around on a odessy.

it is of ultimate importance that you plan i.e. agree beforehand whatis important for each you to see.

the people who claim they 'play it by the ear' usually have a lot of previous experience with being in europe and are used to what others might find completely unexpected and stress causing (museum closed on monday,no admittance with shorts,2hr line to get into vatican etc).

I'm the planner, hubby is a play it by ear. Having spent too many vacations playing it by ear and feeling that I didn't see anything I wanted to see, I've developed a system. I buy hubby a guidebook, give it to him a few weeks before we go and ask him what he wants to see. He'll cooperate in this regard, at least.

I then make a list of what we want to see (collectively - usually our lists overlap for the most part). I figure out what makes sense to do together (for example, the Coloseum and the Forum in Rome - makes sense to put those on the schedule for the same day) and then schedule anything that needs to be done on a particular day. For example, if you want to see the Pope do his address in Rome, it happens Wednesday morning, so plan on Wednesday morning doing that and figure out what else is around there. I then put together proposed day schedules and let hubby pick what he wants to do when, allowing plenty of time for wandering down this side street or into that park or just hanging out and having a drink.

You could have your own agenda in mind without disclosing it to soon-to-be-hubby. That way, if he really, really doesn't want to plan and wakes up and says "Hmm, I want to go to A today," you can say, "What a great idea! Why don't we do B and C, too" since you will know that B & C are near A.

Nearly 10 years later, and this system seems to work quite well. If you do it all one way or the other, you may both be crazy by the end of the 3 weeks.

One other word, my hubby likes to play it by ear, but hates to wait in line. Not two qualities that mix well. If he were in charge, we would have missed the Accademia, Uffizi, Vatican museums, and who knows what else.

Good luck, have fun, and best wishes!

I believe the trick to being happy when you play-it-by-ear is having no "must-dos" on your list. It works for me because if I miss a particular museum or restaurant, I don't care.

If you have specific things that are important to you to see or do, then a certain amount of planning, tickets, or reservations are probably called for.

eliztrav is also right about the deciding part...that should be done before you leave. apart from using up valuable time, it could also be a friction point, better do it here then on holiday.

Traveling together is something that some couples do not do well (VI= vacation incompatible).

I have a friend who works long hours...she wants to be able to just "show up" on vacation...so her husband makes the plane and hotel reservations...yet he is a "play it by ear guy" and she wants things planned...but she is not willing to do it herself...so they take vacations to all these terrifc places and fly first class and stay in great hotels and see next to nothing and he is pleased and she is ticked.

Hope you two can work something out!!!

interesting story missipie.

i think what your friends needed to choose was a group tour, where all the planning is done for you + opt not to take some of the excursions & instead explore on your own for the last few days.

I would start reading the michelin and blue guides, to get a good idea of the best sights near where you are staying. [no point in taking guides that tell you where to stay and how to get there as you've done that bit]. Make and especial note of the closing days and times of things you really want to see/do and then make sure you have them as alternatives on the days they are open! [it's no good leaving a must-do til the last day and finding it shut!]
Then have a rough plan in your mind or on paper of what you want to see in each location, and where they are in relation to each other.
This should enable you to "suggest" a couple of alternatives for each day, enabling you to plan what you do, and him to feel he's played it by ear!
Devious? But I've been married for 27 years and it works! Have a wonderful time"!