One of the oddest versions of this goes roughly:

<b>Poster </b>: Where's the best place for an affordable meal in Paris?
<b>Old Lag 1</b>: What do you call affordable, and are you talking about a romantic celebration or a quick snack while seeing the sights?
<b>Thereafter</b>: complete silence

Anyone who's ever done any consulting for a living knows not everyone wants the right answer. Many people just want a piece of information they can use for a purpose: fill in a gap on a chart, impress their girlfriend with local knowledge, avoid a gaffe in a novel they're writing about Paris. Lots of different things.

What they don't want is to get involved in a dialogue. That's just other people for you. Can't understand why they're not all like me either - but life would be SO much trickier if everyone else really were that handsome, witty, charming and wise.

Interesting thread...I, too, believe in the 'closing thanks to all' approach. Not all do and I see your point...

However, I find this trend of not returning to the scene DOES seem to happen more frequently when things haven't gone all the OP's way... added to Flanner's list of folks who want to fill in informational gaps, there seem to be a group that come here to fill in EMOTIONAL gaps. They want applause for their bravado in taking a trip in the first place and get frustrated when folks make suggestions instead of just admiring.

When I wrote a trip report a couple of months ago, I felt torn between responding/not responding to the kind things people were writing; I wanted to acknowledge all their responses but did not want others to have to plow through "dialogues" between me and the responders. It gets tricky, IMO, wanting to show appreciation but yet not tiresome to all. Probably gets more murky b/c we do get "invested" in our trip reports even though the original intention is just to impart information.

i agree that many dont want to hear the answer we give...
example...
They want to see 7 countries in 2 weeks.
When we boo hoo them, they dont respond.

>Why do you ask a question and never go back <

What?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed this, and as with some, been slightly annoyed by it. I don't really expect a thank you (especially as I can't give much info) but it is nice to know that they did get the information and are either a) going to go with their crazy itinerary that everyone shot down, or are b) going to change it to something a bit more reasonable and we can hopefully assist with the new plans. Either way, I usually want to see the resulting trip reports.

Some people simply aren't as excited about planning a trip as many of the regulars here are, some people get their glorious "7 countries in 2 weeks" plans laughed at and decide to go off and pout, sometimes Fodorites can be snarky, some don't want to take up space for a thank you as it's already implied or given in the original post, some don't realize exactly how expensive their desired trip will likely be, some simply change their plans and never return to the boards, and some simply don't know how to find their post again.

There are tons of reasons why people don't post a thank you and/or follow up, so try not to be slighted by it and remember to say it yourself if it bothers you when others don't.

Hmm, I once posted a question on the Lounge, went off to work for 13 hours or so, and came back to 60 posts, the last ten or so speculating that the OP had gone off in a snit and was not coming back. I did set the record straight, but not everyone can check the boards superfrequently.

It doesn't bother me too much. I just assume the OP has read my response and acknowledged it in his/her own way. Like Nikki said, some forums actually DISCOURAGES people from posting a plain "Thank you".

However, sometimes I do wonder if the OP really did read the responses, or just simply lost and couldn't find his/her thread (this is mostly regarding newbies).

If I post a thread, I try to come back and post a thank you. Sometimes I wait until I return from the trip, and do a thank you PLUS a brief recap of the section of my trip that pertains to the original question. That way, if my thread comes up in a future search, it may actually benefit the next person with the same question.

This is something which bugs me too. Especially when the OP asks a really involved question and gets a lot of different options in the replies. I want to know what they decide to do if I'm one of the people who has taken the time to reply.

If I ask a question and get replies, I always reply with a thank you AND what I've decided to do and why, given the replies, and any other further research I did.

Some of the questions are not valid to begin with--just fantasy.

I don't need an acknowledgment or a thank you. As others have mentioned, the person may not like my input, and in that case who wants phoney politesse. I also don't like opening what I think is an ongoing thread just to find a thank you to someone else.

I don't care whose advice the OP takes. It's his/her trip, not mine. If he/she goes against all advice and things work out OK, I don't mind hearing about it. All information is good.

And it doesn't bother me if the OP doesn't come back with the answers to questions about budget, timing, etc. I figure it's his/her loss.

I've always wondered about one poster in particular by the name of Marymac. She was very excited about her first trip to italy in september 2003 and had a lot of posts. I recommended she stay at the Hotel Hermitage in Florence (where we had stayed in 2001), and one of her last posts was that she had sent a check to the hotel to book it.

She was very excited about her trip and thanked me and others before she departed. There was no doubt she would post about her first Italian adventure upon her return, however she was never heard from again on this board after she left for that trip. For some reason, that has stayed with me, maybe because I had recommended the hotel and hoped she would like it.

Did she love/hate her trip? Did she like/hate the hotel I recommended? Did she run off with an Italian waiter? Or on the ominous side, did she die on her trip? Questions, I suppose, that will never be answered here.

I think that many who post here for the first time have a "fantasy" trip in mind.

Maybe they are bored at work and come to Fodor's because they are daydreaming about going to Paris for a getaway from their tedious job.

But, then reality sets in--need a new transmission for the car, or spouse doesn't want to go, or terror of the language barrier--and the fantasy bubble is popped.

Thin

Some people weren't serious in the first place.
Some don't like our advice so don't reply.
Some read replies but don't realize they should say something.
Some forgot their screen name and password.
Some just don't like Fodor's after all.

I often ask myself questions and then I give myself a bad answer. After that, I refuse to talk to myself for a week. One time, I even quit spending time with myself, talk about strange...



dave

There is always the possibility that the poster has had some major life changing event as well - who knows? I try not to take it personally. Sometimes I am guilty of posting while at work, then getting caught up in my day and not returning to the site for a bit. Sometimes I think a post is over and someone posts without my noticing right away too. It happens. It is polite to respond though if you can.

I came back. Thank you all for your very interesting posta.

I agree with what Naxos said. Perhaps there was a death in the OP's family and the trip got cancelled? Or the OP got sick and had to postpone the trip? Or got laid off and had to cancel the trip? If I were the OP, the last thing on my mind would be to come back here to Fodors to thank people for their responses.

There are so many things we don't know about the OPs, and that's why it doesn't bother me, however, I do wonder what happened.

FWIW, I spend more time wondering what happened to long-time posters here who stop posting. I miss many of them and I hope they are all doing well, healthy, and still traveling.

OK, I went to my profile and counted. There are at least five threads I started in the past few months, pertaining to my next trip, to which I haven't returned to wrap up-- some were about obscure side-trip locations that haven't generated much interest here, and since my itinerary is still kind of up in the air with many details undecided, does anyone REALLY want me to go and clutter up the current top 25 threads by topping those just to say "Thanks, but I still haven't decided what to do yet"?! What a waste of space and other readers' time. Better to do it all at once when the plans are clearer, or even after the trip. (In fact, the last time I was starting a trip report, I did go back and comb through some earlier posts first, in order to mention the posters who went out of their way to help). Especially on one of those post with the least replies, I intended to go back to add more info AFTER exploring the place myself, because there's currently no info at all about that town on this forum, but of course that has to wait a few more months, until the trip actually happens!

I respond to other people's questions much more often than I ask questions of my own, and I don't do it to collect thank-yous from the OPs.

walksntalks,

May I ask what country you live in? I'd love a place like that.