We are going to Europe in less than 2 weeks and want some non-blurry night photos so we are planning to take a tripod. We also want some pictures of ourselves without having to ask someone.
We have looked at the gorillapod but we think we want one that extends out full size almost, but is also small enough to fit in our backpack and yet sturdy for a DSLR... I know these are specific qualifications and we haven't found one so I thought I would check here? Thanks for any ideas!

I use an UltraPod. It's about 7 inches long and has a Velcro strap. Weighs nothing. I see no use for a telescoping tripod as this works with all weights and types of cameras. The strap allows you to hook onto a pole, tree limb, whatever. Check it out at a camera store.

Have a look at the Manfrotto range - the 190MF4 is a small carbon fibre tripod, so lightweight, the rest of the 190 range are aluminium, so still not heavy. Velbon also have some small tripods for a reasonable price.
You need to know how much your camera weighs with the heaviest lens you intend to use on the tripod to check that the tripod and head will hold the camera firmly.

The maximum safe load on the Ultrapod is not that high - 6lbs, whilst the design load is only 4lbs. If you have a good prime on a DSLR it will weigh more than that, and I'm not sure I would trust a bit of velcro to hold my eexpensive camera in place.

I'm also looking into a tripod for my upcoming trip to Rome. I am actually considering a monopod that collapses to 12 inches and weighs about 8 ounces. For those that don't use a telescoping tripod, what do you do when you're, say, in the middle of the Forum, or outside the Colosseum, do you have to look for a bench/wall to use?

I use the Manfrotto 718B model. It's very lightweight and will support my Canon XT and the 24-70 f2.8 L lens. It extends full height. It folds to 20 inches and has a carrying case.

Amy - get the Manfrotto 709. I bought it on Olegis advice here - it's amazing! It may actually be a little lighter than the one you mentioned, but at any rate it's quite light, it's sturdy, and it never left my purse during the whole trip. I used it indoors as well.

To the OP - I know that full sized ones are usually better, but, if you can find a place to park your small one, it can work just as well. I have even balanced mine on bridge abutments, etc. Don't discount that if something is a little too heavy or unwieldy, when the time comes to go out you might look at it and groan. A little tiny one may require a little more creativity but at least you are sure to have it with you all the time.