What are the clues to picking a travel-mate?
Nov 9th, 2004, 07:53 PM
#41
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I think I would prefer to go alone rather than travel with any of these companions. Before you go off on a trip to Europe with any of these people why don't you try traveling for a long weekend nearby and see if you are still speaking to each other after that. If you find yourself being annoyed by the presence of your friends you should reconsider traveling with them to Europe. You will have much more fun alone than you will steaming over the little things your traval companion is doing that annoy you and you may be able to keep your friendship intact if you don't take a long trip together. Have fun no matter what you decide.
Nov 9th, 2004, 08:08 PM
#42
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I didn't see any comments indicating past travels with any of these friends. Did I Evelyn Woods through the thread too quickly?
Just an Idea : Can you send each one of the contenders one of those chain mail quizzes with all the pre-vacation questions you need answered mixed in with some of the other off-the-wall questions that we all receive in those emails? This way, you can determine their levels of travel compatibility.
For example :
1) If you were to go to Europe for two weeks, how many days would you go shopping?
2) Where is the one place in Europe that you feel you must visit?
3) continue on from here...
Just an Idea : Can you send each one of the contenders one of those chain mail quizzes with all the pre-vacation questions you need answered mixed in with some of the other off-the-wall questions that we all receive in those emails? This way, you can determine their levels of travel compatibility.
For example :
1) If you were to go to Europe for two weeks, how many days would you go shopping?
2) Where is the one place in Europe that you feel you must visit?
3) continue on from here...
Nov 9th, 2004, 08:50 PM
#43
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Having travelled a great deal with friends, with business colleagues and by myself, I'd throw in my 2cents worth:
1) Sense of humor (sense of humor, sense of humor). Things are bound to go wrong sometime, somewhere - you need to be able to laugh about it all afterwards.
2) Adaptable. I'm pretty flexible myself, but I like travelling with someone who is also flexible.
3) Honest. If you say, "Let's go to the Louvres" and she want to go to Versailles that day, she has to be honest enough to say so. That way, you two can have a genuine discussion.
4) Packs light and doesn't have too many pairs of shoes and other extras. I like to travel light.
5) Has travelled before - preferably extensively - with other friends, family and even in tours.
6) Lastly, I'd say that the success of any trip is YOU. Write down your own needs and then find the travelling companion that best matches your needs and inclinations. If you want to do picnic lunches and she wants to eat only in restaurants - it's not going to work (goes again to the issue of flexibility).
Maybe you could make this a foursome with three choices instead of one? (Halfway kidding on this one!)
Travelling by yourself, you will find that there are precious moments you want to share and there's no one to share them with you. Sure, it's simpler, because there's only one opinion to consider.
The suggestion to do a preview is a great one, if you can squeeze it in. Go on a weekend trip with the friend of choice, see if you two can survive the weekend together.
Have fun, however you decide!
1) Sense of humor (sense of humor, sense of humor). Things are bound to go wrong sometime, somewhere - you need to be able to laugh about it all afterwards.
2) Adaptable. I'm pretty flexible myself, but I like travelling with someone who is also flexible.
3) Honest. If you say, "Let's go to the Louvres" and she want to go to Versailles that day, she has to be honest enough to say so. That way, you two can have a genuine discussion.
4) Packs light and doesn't have too many pairs of shoes and other extras. I like to travel light.
5) Has travelled before - preferably extensively - with other friends, family and even in tours.
6) Lastly, I'd say that the success of any trip is YOU. Write down your own needs and then find the travelling companion that best matches your needs and inclinations. If you want to do picnic lunches and she wants to eat only in restaurants - it's not going to work (goes again to the issue of flexibility).
Maybe you could make this a foursome with three choices instead of one? (Halfway kidding on this one!)
Travelling by yourself, you will find that there are precious moments you want to share and there's no one to share them with you. Sure, it's simpler, because there's only one opinion to consider.
The suggestion to do a preview is a great one, if you can squeeze it in. Go on a weekend trip with the friend of choice, see if you two can survive the weekend together.
Have fun, however you decide!
Nov 9th, 2004, 08:58 PM
#44
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I should explain. I lost my husband this last year and my best friend, I moved to a new community and I am making the best of it.
My long time friends are married and will not travel without their husbands. I have these new friends and we are all in the same boat, trying to make the best of unforeseen situations. We have formed a little group and we are getting to know each other.
I have read alot of posts here about people who travel with their close friends and become surprised at how they don't travel well together. I thought I would get insights into how to wisely choose a travel companion.
We all have faults and we all have admirable qualities I understand that.
I also understand that you have to consider these traits when choosing someone to be with for two weeks.
Thank you for the insights.
My long time friends are married and will not travel without their husbands. I have these new friends and we are all in the same boat, trying to make the best of unforeseen situations. We have formed a little group and we are getting to know each other.
I have read alot of posts here about people who travel with their close friends and become surprised at how they don't travel well together. I thought I would get insights into how to wisely choose a travel companion.
We all have faults and we all have admirable qualities I understand that.
I also understand that you have to consider these traits when choosing someone to be with for two weeks.
Thank you for the insights.
Nov 9th, 2004, 09:02 PM
#45
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minerva - I am so sorry to hear of the recent loss of your husband. I think the most devastating thing in my life would be to lose my favorite travelling companion. I hope you are successful in finding someone to travel with that will make your trip a great success.
Nov 9th, 2004, 09:25 PM
#46
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minerva, just read your thread about your losing your dear husband and buddy traveling companion.
My dear, I also have experienced this loss so I think I can make what might be a good suggestion to you because I understand your situation.
IMHO if there is a friend that you think may be a good companion to travel with may I suggest that you and that friend take a three day, two night, trip together. I have no idea where you live but would suggest that you travel somewhere within a two or three hour flight trip at the most.
And since one has to fly to Europe this is why I would suggest this short trip be via a plane
Noone is going to replace your DH but at least this would give you an idea of your friends ability to handle to getting to the airport on time, getting through airport security etc., how she is on a flight. And than a few days together would, I believe, give you an idea of how you two mesh, type of hotel, type of restaurant, activities etc.
If, when going to Europe you were looking for a friend to share a hotel room with I would suggest doing that on this "trial trip". And if in Europe you plan on having your own room than I would again do that for your "trial trip".
I really do understand the situation you are in and I send my best wishes to you. It is not easy.
But please at least think about a "trial trip". It will give you a good outlook about someone you think might make a good travel buddy for a trip to Europe. You both will find out it you are compatible, enjoy the same activities, have the same kind of budget in mind, more or less the same energy etc.
And if there is not someone you want to travel with do think about going on your own. I get the impression you have been to Europe before, so that gives you a lot of knowledge a lot of people do not have.
Let us know how things work out. Take good care.
My dear, I also have experienced this loss so I think I can make what might be a good suggestion to you because I understand your situation.
IMHO if there is a friend that you think may be a good companion to travel with may I suggest that you and that friend take a three day, two night, trip together. I have no idea where you live but would suggest that you travel somewhere within a two or three hour flight trip at the most.
And since one has to fly to Europe this is why I would suggest this short trip be via a plane
Noone is going to replace your DH but at least this would give you an idea of your friends ability to handle to getting to the airport on time, getting through airport security etc., how she is on a flight. And than a few days together would, I believe, give you an idea of how you two mesh, type of hotel, type of restaurant, activities etc.
If, when going to Europe you were looking for a friend to share a hotel room with I would suggest doing that on this "trial trip". And if in Europe you plan on having your own room than I would again do that for your "trial trip".
I really do understand the situation you are in and I send my best wishes to you. It is not easy.
But please at least think about a "trial trip". It will give you a good outlook about someone you think might make a good travel buddy for a trip to Europe. You both will find out it you are compatible, enjoy the same activities, have the same kind of budget in mind, more or less the same energy etc.
And if there is not someone you want to travel with do think about going on your own. I get the impression you have been to Europe before, so that gives you a lot of knowledge a lot of people do not have.
Let us know how things work out. Take good care.
Nov 9th, 2004, 10:36 PM
#47
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That's great advice, LoveItaly.
Nikki, I wouldn't hesitate to travel with someone I loved very much who had difficulties with walking or mobility. That defines children for the first few years at least, after all! So I'm sure your family and friends do not mind in the slightest. However, the dynamic is going to be different for two friends traveling. I wouldn't hesitate if it was a very dear friend, but if she is more of an acquaintance than I have to say, truthfully, that I wouldn't be happy catering my schedule to her restrictions.
Similarly if I were going on a strenuous hiking trip, I wouldn't go with people who were much more skilled and faster than me, unless it was very clear that there'd be no resentment. Otherwise I know I'd slow them down and lessen their enjoyment.
Theregoesminerva, what cities or places do you have in mind?
Nikki, I wouldn't hesitate to travel with someone I loved very much who had difficulties with walking or mobility. That defines children for the first few years at least, after all! So I'm sure your family and friends do not mind in the slightest. However, the dynamic is going to be different for two friends traveling. I wouldn't hesitate if it was a very dear friend, but if she is more of an acquaintance than I have to say, truthfully, that I wouldn't be happy catering my schedule to her restrictions.
Similarly if I were going on a strenuous hiking trip, I wouldn't go with people who were much more skilled and faster than me, unless it was very clear that there'd be no resentment. Otherwise I know I'd slow them down and lessen their enjoyment.
Theregoesminerva, what cities or places do you have in mind?
Nov 9th, 2004, 10:40 PM
#48
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In addition to the threads Eloise pulled up, here are two others worthy of consideration too:
http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...&tid=63077
http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...&tid=74465
http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...&tid=63077
http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...&tid=74465
Nov 10th, 2004, 04:55 AM
#49
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Loveitaly's suggestion is very good.
If you want to travel with people other than family, you will be the one needing a sense of adventure. Nothing is more adventurous than travelling with people who may well turn out to be as novel and foreign as the countries one is visiting.
If you want to travel with people other than family, you will be the one needing a sense of adventure. Nothing is more adventurous than travelling with people who may well turn out to be as novel and foreign as the countries one is visiting.
Nov 10th, 2004, 10:05 AM
#51
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Some interesting insights, here.
My most consistent travel partner has been my mother - after we lost my father 13 years ago. We can both be pains. I'm too stubborn about certain things, and she seldoms offers any input. I do all the planning and packing (yes, her suitcase as well), and she goes along with it. I love to try different foods, she is extremely picky. I hate shopping, she feels she needs to buy something for everyone she knows. I love to walk around and explore, she sometimes has physical difficulty. I look forward to getting lost and finding my way, she panicks. And, usually, by the end of any trip - long, international or short weekend - neither one of us is speaking to the other. However, once the jet lag ends, laundry gets done, we sleep in our own beds, and go over the pictures and journals we both agree it was one of the best times ever.
I am sorry for your loss. I've seem my mother go through the same thing, and it is painful. However, I doubt anyone ever truly finds the "perfect travel partner." Times, conditions, events, personalities always come into play.
How to decide who to take? Easy. Who do you want to spend time with? Who do you want to get to know better? Don't focus on the negatives. Concentrate on the positives. Even "set in her ways" who "wants to do everything her sister did" may end up being a great person you want to spend time with. Will it be smooth sailing? I doubt it. When you travel with another person there are always compromises to make, even with spouses. And remember, you may feel you need to compromise but your friends will feel the same about you.
Happy deciding!
My most consistent travel partner has been my mother - after we lost my father 13 years ago. We can both be pains. I'm too stubborn about certain things, and she seldoms offers any input. I do all the planning and packing (yes, her suitcase as well), and she goes along with it. I love to try different foods, she is extremely picky. I hate shopping, she feels she needs to buy something for everyone she knows. I love to walk around and explore, she sometimes has physical difficulty. I look forward to getting lost and finding my way, she panicks. And, usually, by the end of any trip - long, international or short weekend - neither one of us is speaking to the other. However, once the jet lag ends, laundry gets done, we sleep in our own beds, and go over the pictures and journals we both agree it was one of the best times ever.
I am sorry for your loss. I've seem my mother go through the same thing, and it is painful. However, I doubt anyone ever truly finds the "perfect travel partner." Times, conditions, events, personalities always come into play.
How to decide who to take? Easy. Who do you want to spend time with? Who do you want to get to know better? Don't focus on the negatives. Concentrate on the positives. Even "set in her ways" who "wants to do everything her sister did" may end up being a great person you want to spend time with. Will it be smooth sailing? I doubt it. When you travel with another person there are always compromises to make, even with spouses. And remember, you may feel you need to compromise but your friends will feel the same about you.
Happy deciding!
Nov 10th, 2004, 10:24 AM
#52
minerva, That was kind of you to post a bit more of your situation. I wish you luck in figuring this out and cheer you on for making a new start and being adventurous enough to plan a trip.
Two traits I find important in travel companions are: a similar financial situation and spending expectations. I have never had problems sorting out expenses or deciding costs for hotel and meals, but know this can be a problem area for some duos traveling. The other is a person who is willing to go there own way now and then. For example, I'm not a museum person but am happy to sit in a cafe and meet up later, this is fine with my museum-mad companion.
Two traits I find important in travel companions are: a similar financial situation and spending expectations. I have never had problems sorting out expenses or deciding costs for hotel and meals, but know this can be a problem area for some duos traveling. The other is a person who is willing to go there own way now and then. For example, I'm not a museum person but am happy to sit in a cafe and meet up later, this is fine with my museum-mad companion.
Nov 10th, 2004, 10:35 AM
#53
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Thought I'd chime in again, now that you've explained your situation a little more thoroughly. There is some really excellent advice here
Travelling with friends can be a wonderful experience. In fact, I've never had a bad time travelling with anyone. Even my mother! Like Chele60, even when my mother and I have driven each other absolutely up the wall, we have had great holidays.
If you can find someone who will laugh about the errors you both will make, the trains you will miss, the innards you will accidentally order, the spats you will have--well, then you have found someone who will want to go the next time. Or at least someone with whom you can share fond memories with. Flexibility and a sense of humor are so important.
I hope you have a fantastic trip. And I'm sure you will.
Travelling with friends can be a wonderful experience. In fact, I've never had a bad time travelling with anyone. Even my mother! Like Chele60, even when my mother and I have driven each other absolutely up the wall, we have had great holidays.
If you can find someone who will laugh about the errors you both will make, the trains you will miss, the innards you will accidentally order, the spats you will have--well, then you have found someone who will want to go the next time. Or at least someone with whom you can share fond memories with. Flexibility and a sense of humor are so important.
I hope you have a fantastic trip. And I'm sure you will.
Nov 10th, 2004, 10:41 AM
#54
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I can be a very, very charming and gracious, climb stairs like a goat, eat everything on the menu, provide insightful but tactful inputs, tell jokes and laugh loud at yours, and make the trip "all about you", if you pay my expenses and a slight travel fee.
Nov 10th, 2004, 10:53 AM
#56
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Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts and advice. Degas, you too, but I think your flamboyant style might show me up and I want to be the center of attraction, lol.
My long time friend is seriously thinking about joining me now, her husband will join us for a portion of the trip as he is a winery follower. We think we will go to Rome and Tuscany, I'll keep in contact and let you helpful people know. Thanks Again!
My long time friend is seriously thinking about joining me now, her husband will join us for a portion of the trip as he is a winery follower. We think we will go to Rome and Tuscany, I'll keep in contact and let you helpful people know. Thanks Again!
Nov 10th, 2004, 11:29 AM
#58
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Degas...its probably the recent thread about a cape... that's flamboyant.
Minerva, I've been reading this thread today and was curious what advice you'd get. I went to France with a friend after my divorce. She's fine here...but got a case of severe stupids on the plane over! The next time I went I went alone. It was heaven.
I think you're getting your feet wet in Italy with good friends (and the experience of being a traveler) will be a comfort...and then ... there you'll go! And all your friends really will say "there goes Minerva!"
Minerva, I've been reading this thread today and was curious what advice you'd get. I went to France with a friend after my divorce. She's fine here...but got a case of severe stupids on the plane over! The next time I went I went alone. It was heaven.
I think you're getting your feet wet in Italy with good friends (and the experience of being a traveler) will be a comfort...and then ... there you'll go! And all your friends really will say "there goes Minerva!"
