What are the clues to picking a travel-mate?
 

I want to ask all of you travelers who find themselves looking for a travel companion among their friends or acquaintances.

I have decided to go with another woman on my first trip to Europe as a single woman now. I know one woman who is a little tight with her expenses; one woman who has no sense of adventure; one is set in her ways; one seems to be a picky eater; one who will do whatever I want with no input of her own; one who gets tired easily and won't climb steps.

On the other hand they have good qualities too, what would you do? I don't want to go alone this first time but I will try it in the future.

Make sure none of them suffers from excess gas build up or always goes to the bathroom when its her turn to buy the next round.

Excessive is defined as makes the curtains blow out the window when expelled.

Frankly, I would ditch the entire idea of going with ANY of these people. Why? Because even though you mention that they all have "good qualities" you don't say what those are...and whatever they are I suspect they won't outweigh the "bad" qualities you have mentioned which are, I also suspect, the ones that are the most important to you.

Don't hesitate to go solo unless it will absolutely be unaffordable and if that is the case, keep looking.

I would not travel with ANY of the women you describe (a miserable trip waiting to happen IMO) but will not try to talk you out of it.... Only because I am convinced after one trip with an unsuitable companion, you'll be begging to go it solo the next time!

Picky-eater can be more easily gotten-by than any of the other bad qualities - She can order whatever on earth she wants, and it shouldn't affect you personally on the trip

What a choice! The best travel companion is someone who has a good sense of humor and a sense of adventure with a similar outlook towards spending that you do. (There is a thread about traveling with a outrageous tightwad and the misery that ensued.) That person should also be flexible since things don't always go as planned and who does NOT complain very much and is not needy. You really don't need someone who likes to do all the same things you do since you don't have to do everything together. And you may actually discover something else you like by following someone else's different likes/choices.
For me, I also did not like people who spent forever in the bathroom or snored loudly. I no longer share rooms (except with beau) so I don't worry about these anymore.
Any of your choices exhibit these qualities?

Unless the one who will do anything you want with no input of her own is incredibly dull and boring, I would choose her as the lesser of all evils. She won't hold you back. As a second choice, I'd go with the picky eater. Maybe she'd be first choice, depends on who has the better sense of humor. She can pick at whatever she orders and after watching you get the gorgeous stuff, who knows --- she may come home transformed. DO NOT PICK the one who is set in her ways. Being a little tight with expenses --- that can be OK, assuming if there's something you really want to do that you feel comfortable subsidising her on it is OK for your budget.

LOL degas!
What about the ones with the silent but deadlies? Those don't always blow the curtains!

Please go alone. It is not difficult, and it is infinitely preferable to going with someone who may contribute only frustration/aggravation to your trip.

Here are two recent threads on the topic:

http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...p;tid=34529041
(Go near the end to read the horror story about the tight travel companion.)

http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...p;tid=34534293
(Also towards the end; a woman who wished she had traveled solo.)

And I also say this from personal experience: I would much, much rather travel alone than with someone whose interests/attitudes are too different from mine.

Sorry, but I STILL say ditch them all!

IMHO, the easiest to get along with on a trip are (1) picky eater, and (2) person who will go along with whatever you decide w/o input of her own.

Tightwads can be tolerated, if you put your foot down and don't let it affect you.

No adventure, set in ways, and tires easily and won't climb steps sound undesirable. I sympathize with tires easily, as that is probably something she can't do anything about, but it could affect where you go and what you do. I wouldn't want to travel with no adventure or set in ways.

It completely depends on your personality whether to go solo or not. I could not do it - I would be constantly be wishing for someone to share those amazing experiences with. And I just wouldn't feel safe in a lot of places as a young single woman

After being married all these years I'd just love to go somewhere with a woman that would "do whatever I want with no input of her own" I'd be in Hog Heaven for at least a week. Might get boring after that.

Picky eater might work, especially if you got first shot at what she didn't finish on her plate.

I think that if I had to choose between these persons listed, and going on a tour, I'd choose the tour. I'd prefer going by myself in most European locations, though.

..agree with the idea of a tour for a first visit as a newly single...then strike out on your own..the right travelling companions can "make " a trip though...requisites a great sense of humor and a young spirit...make sure the companion is someone you can "stand" and can stand you...I have good friends who have quirks that would drive me crazy for prolonged periods of time in confined quarters and other who I am not as fond of but are quirkless that I could travel with..sounds crazy but I dont thinks so...

Thank you so far. As far as I know none of them have flatulance!

Tight woman: she is out after I read the other thread, thank you.

No sense of adventure: she might be ok if she goes off on her own. She has a pleasant outlook on life.

Set in her ways: she is out now too, thank you.

Picky eater: she is the most well read and knows historical facts. She has a good sense of humor but it is usually all about her.

Whatever I want: She is pleasant and has good personal insight, ironic sense of humor.

Tired woman: She has a good sense of humor and is intelligent but has bad legs and tires easily.

I wanted to go alone in the first place but then I chickened out.

Go alone or with the one that'll follow your lead.
Picky eaters can be a pain to travel with. We did once and we'd spend hours trying to locate a place that would satisy the picky eater - when you are on the go it is extremely annoying.

I agree with various responses by previous posters - I probably wouldn't pick any of the people you listed and the suggestion of a tour (if you don't want to go alone) is pretty good.

However, this is what I'd look for in a traveling companion:

1. Someone who makes me laugh. Choose a friend or two who is upbeat, positive, and can see the funny side of potentially disastrous circumstances.

2. Look for someone who shares your interests. They don't have to be identical, but if one of you sees a vacation as strictly 10 days on a beach in the sun and the other sees the same 10 days as the opportunity to visit 7 museums, 8 castles, and 15 art galleries, neither one of you is going to have a good time.

3. Choose someone that you've gotten to know in a somewhat stressful situation. Have you served on committees together, or worked on a particular project? This gives insight into how another person will deal with "challenges" and questions and decision-making.

4. Pick someone you genuinely like. Not someone that you're already classifying as too picky or too frugal or too anything. (I'm the pickiest eater in the world, but I've never starved anywhere, and I've never stopped anyone else from eating where and what they desire. But my friends just see this as one of my silly foibles and laugh at me.)

5. Look for someone that will enjoy helping you select destinations and be actively involved in planning. I'd be scared if someone didn't have ideas and thoughts to share.

6. Find a person who will honestly discuss all aspects of the trip - finances, "must do" sights or activities, timing, room-sharing, whatever.

I'm taking a trip with a group of female friends (4 of us) next summer. Two are single and two of us are leaving the husbands home. We're planning a very ambitious 16 days and are enjoying the "process" of planning as much as we will the trip.

I've taken very short trips (overnight) with several of these ladies and one slightly longer trip (5 nights) with one person, but never traveled with one at all. We all know each other, but have varying degrees of friendship.

But, we share some common values and have some similar desires for vacation, and I am positive that this trip will work out.

Widen your scope a little bit - look at some different people in your life and I'd guess that you can find the "perfect" traveling companion. (And, she doesn't have to be single - that fact may widen your search considerably.)

Gayle

Ssounds like you're close to making up your mind, but I travel with friends all the time (I'm single).

Does whatever you want AND has a good sense of humor? Go with her. Sounds like one of my closest friends, except when things go wrong she gets a little panicky. It's still worth it.

I might also consider the tired/bad legs woman if she is the type who's willing to get a taxi/take the bus back to the hotel when she gets tired, and you get to stay out and continue climbing Giotto's tower or the Eiffel Tower or whatever tower....

Picky eater: is she the type of picky eater who's judgmental about what you're eating and enjoying? If so no way.

Maybe I've been lucky, but in years of travelling with friends I've noticed that on vacation we all tend to lighten up and really enjoy ourselves. Sometimes we actually transcend our day-to-day personalities.

If you must choose one of them, my vote would go to "Whatever I want" (if you do not think you will start to feel that she is a millstone around your neck) and "Picky eater" (if her self-centredness does not start to grate on you).

"No sense of adventure" is very unlikely to go off on her own (but so is "Whatever I want", come to think of it...) and "Tired woman" will likely restrict your possibilities.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather go back to your original plan of going it alone?