Calamari

Here we are gathered to discuss future trip report ideas for the our star reporter Mssr. Degas. We are here to relax and have a laugh. Robdaddy, hopefully will be a guest speaker.

vivaldi

This idea might come too late. Degas dropped off his keys and shotgun so I can watch his shack and moonshine still while he is out of the country at an undisclosed location.

I thought about faxing or emailing him some ideas, but he's hopeless with technology. The best we can do is leave some messages at various McDonalds around Europe.

Dutch

Several topics I would welcome from Degas:

1) How to filet and cook a catfish using the hotel's coffee maker.

2) The best way to see Germany without ever being more than 20 minutes from a Walmart.

3) When to co-ordinate and wear a white belt with loafers and how to wash and dry a jump suit in the hotel bathroom.

Intrepid

Frankly, I'd much rather hear from Degas' "little wife" at some point. Gives a whole new meaning to ther terms "long suffering" and "survivor."

sfowler

Dutch -- I guffawed so loudly over your #1 my cats are cowering in the basement.

cigalechanta

Dutch, My cat caught a fish, what now?

Dutch

cigalechanta - if it is a small herring, lift your head back and swallow - followed by a shot of gin of course.

cigalechanta

Done!!!! But with Vodka!

Dutch

Skoal!

Robdaddy

Calamari, thanks for the invitation to be a guest speaker, but I'll decline for now. I would like to offer a suggestion, however.

I would really like to see the inestimable Degas launch a new career. When one travels to Europe, it is often possible to take cooking classes, painting lessons, and the like.

Shouldn't a man of Degas's talents and experience offer similar opportunities for cultural immersion to our European visitors?

I can see him guiding a Scotsman through the basics of Mid-western cuisine (Well allrighty then, you take this Jello mold...&quot... or leading some lager louts on a midnight grafitti run, spray painting lissome underage ballerinas on Confederate monuments.

Degas, we are counting on you!

dln

Me, I'd like to see Monsieur Degas head on down to the south of France--Cannes or Nice, perhaps--and give us his own special views on all the (dare I say!) Eurotrash down there.

cigalechanta

dln,dln, pleeze!!some of us will be there. There is no Eurotrash(an american conceit) only trashy global people.

dln

You are right, dear Mimi, it was most unkind of me to say that. It must be the effect of too much ThinGorgus floating around this board. I meant to say "bright young things."

Calamari

If you're trashy and you know it clap your hands!

vivaldi

DEGAS called back collect - he was really excited and out of breathe. He was trying to tell me what was going on, but it was hard to hear as there was heavy gunfire in the background.

At one point he yelled "I'll strangle that little prissy airhead for putting us on the wrong damn plane" and then it sounded like a terrible struggle took place. Pretty soon I heard his little wife MELBA scream "Get your filthy foreign hands off BUBBA or I'll gut you like a mullet at a fishfry."

Then there was more gunfire and the line went dead. I called the number on my caller I.D. and some guy answered in french.

Before I could ask for DEGAS, the line went dead again.

Calamari

Vivaldi are you Degas' evil twin?

Clifton

Oh, no, sounds like Melba's toast.

French toast.

Calamari

You must keep the Mrs. in stiches!

Calamari

ttt

SuzieC

PBS should pick up our Degas as an alternative to Ricky and Rudy....and that "honey" who does the Conde Nast traveler... she's a bit er.. um..."tight". Anyway, Degas' Europe Travel Specials would be a welcome change during the interminable "pledge drives"...