PatrickLondon

Hmm, clearly an awareness of the distinction between necessary and sufficient conditions is essential to survival in this fascinating country...

platzman

Lobo,
I think they got the idea of operating ATMs in such a manner by sending observers to the Stazione Termini in Roma.

laverendrye

Oh dear, the politician in Scranton who exclaimed "Ich bin ein Lutenblager" must have been coached by a member of the neo-Nazi Jsalter Party, whose admiration for the Third Reich is still quite strong.

It also means literally "I am a parsnip donut", as the proper German would be "Ich bin Lutenblager!"

A true patriot would have said "Lutnblaagy zchy!"

cigalechanta

Do they use Euros for money, or was someone joking when they said ears of corn?

P_M

I hope they have adopted the euro by now, those ears of corn are so bulky to carry in your wallet. And if you're a man with ears of corn in your pocket....well....you can imagine the misunderstandings which could take place.

uhoh_busted

My niece is going to go to Movania as an exchange student for her senior year of H.S. What would be appropriate gifts for her host family? We were thinking of those little yellow plastic corn "holders" (it could work sort of like a money clip over there?) or maybe just a carton of Colgate? (or would that be considered just plain mean?) Thanks.
Lutnblaagy zchy!

P_M

They would probably throw out the toothpaste, as they don't know what it is, then use the carton like a wallet.

laverendrye

Of course they were joking when they said that Molvanîa uses ears of corn for currency. The unit of currency is the Strubl, which floats wildly against the euro and the dollar. See the old Molvanîa thread on where to obtain Strubls in the US.

platzman

It is a custom in Molvania that when a man carrying multiple ears of corn in his pockets says hello to a single women three times, she must marry him.
This is an ancient fertility rite.

Scarlett

platzman,
I though the way the girl says yes to the proposal was to stroke the corn.

Fairhope

I detect a distinct bias against the Molvanians which I believe is being perpetuated by their ancient rivals the Kroks who are the minority population in Molvania. You can only tell a Krok from a Molvanian by his mule.---they tend to be lower in IQ--the mule that is and simply refuse to work. This means the Kroks are substantially poorer than your mainstream Molvanian--that and the fact their ears of corn are smaller. Thus the expression "that's a Krok".

johnthedorf

I would just like to thank Adrian Levy and Cathy Scott-Clark's Article in the Guardian "So You Want To Be Alone" for making these threads possible and hilarious. Bring on the Moles

platzman

They make their own cigarettes from plants they grow in their backyards. They call it Kroc pot.( p. 37, Molvania Through The Back Door.)

cigalechanta

Oh my god, platzman, I bought some tonight but that said it's other more known name was Tijuana Turd!

annesherrod

Kroc pot!!!! I love it! It is amazing what one can learn from the Back door books.
Do you know if I can wear my white sneakers there right now? When I go should I tip the pilot?
Can't wait to see the asses trying to rob the poor unsuspecting tourists at the ATM as I will use only American Travelers Checques. Do they accept these?

LoveItaly

annesherrod, for heavens sake NO you do not wear white sneakers! Where IS M_K2 when he/she is needed. Haven't you done any reading up on the fashions in Molvania? For heavens sake, get with the program! The Molvanians wear a particular type of sandal. The sole is cut from old tires, shaped to fit their foot. And than rope is tied around this sole. Now I must confess the rope around the bottom of the sole does make one tend to stumble and stagger a bit but who would notice? All Movanians walk this way. If you don't you will immediately be pointed out as a tourist or even worse "an ugly American".

As far as the pilots, they are already tipsy, just the thought of having to fly to Molvania makes them drown about 20 cocktails before they take off, so no problem there.

Now, those American Checks (or to sound sophisticated checques) that you asked about. Oh sigh, do wish travelers would do some research before bothering all of us here with such mundane questions. But, to be a good sport, alright, here is what happens with American checks, checques or whatever they are called. You go into the bank (assuming you can find one which I doubt) and turn them in. But please do be aware instead of receiving corn cobbs you will be given carrots!!! And no complaining when you file your trip report because considered yourself warned.

Any other questions?? Or do you have everything down pat? Happy travels to you.

cigalechanta

Shoot!!!(says mimi, as she throws out the ears of corn)

platzman

So if one is a Krok, what does that make him?
Krok-ation?
Krok-ite?
Krok-er?

cigalechanta

Kroko-san

LoveItaly

Mimi, if you are disgusted with the ears of corn, be sure not to bring American checks (checques or whatever), think how irritated you will be with carrots.
But than again, guess you could stomp on them if you are wearing the old tire sole sandals until the carrots are mushy, mix in some Movlvanian water (or if desperate water from the airplane) and serve this while all of us wait for
the election results.

Realize that this drink won't be quite as elegant as the vino that you and Scarlett and others enjoy in France, but "when in Rome"!!!!