Unmarried couple

Old Feb 10th, 2001, 11:47 AM
  #1  
julia
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Unmarried couple

I am interested in going to Italy, (and I know that I must not be the first person to do this, but I will be traveling with my boyfriend. I was just wondering whether this is going to present a problem anywhere. Thanks.
 
Old Feb 10th, 2001, 11:54 AM
  #2  
xxx
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I don't know/care which you prefer, but if it matters to you, FYI:

una doppia con due letti = a double room with two twin beds

una matrimoniale = a room for two people with one big bed
 
Old Feb 10th, 2001, 12:08 PM
  #3  
SharonM
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I've never had a problem.
(actually, I'd never even THOUGHT about it!)
Don't think anybody knows or cares if the one I'm traveling with is married to me or not!
 
Old Feb 10th, 2001, 04:05 PM
  #4  
C
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It depends where. In traditional areas of southern Italy and Sicily where few foreigners visit, a woman who merely visits the house of a man alone is assumed to be a "loose woman" and will be an object of much suspicion. If you stayed at some little agriturismo place or small town hotel in Calabria or in the interior of Sicily, that's the attitude people may have toewar you. But they'll get over it, and you won't see them again anyway. In areas with a lot of tourism I'm sure the hotel staff couldn't care less who sleeps where. Have a great trip.
 
Old Feb 10th, 2001, 05:57 PM
  #5  
Linda
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I've done it throughout the country. No problems. They don't even ask or look at you funny.
 
Old Feb 11th, 2001, 12:01 AM
  #6  
Mike
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You are obviously feeing guilty about your travel arrangements. I suggest you ethink what you are doing..and stay home.
 
Old Feb 11th, 2001, 12:23 AM
  #7  
Doug Weller
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Mike, you are obviously bening censorious. I don't see any reason to think that Julia is feeling guilty or has any reason to feel guilty, simply that she is being prudent.

Julia, listen to Sharon, Linda, etc and ignore Mike.

Doug, who has travelled many places with Helen, his partner for 14 years, with no problems.
 
Old Feb 11th, 2001, 03:52 AM
  #8  
christina
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no julia non c' nessun problema!

how it is in the south, don't know. here in florence we do have in fact even a LOT of guy couples as hotelguests and really no one looks strange. and even no one looks strange if you are not married! (how i said, i don't know the south) but here in central north (firenze) and the north don't worry.

tanti saluti

christina
 
Old Feb 11th, 2001, 05:33 AM
  #9  
xxx
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No problems in the typical tourist places in the south, like Taormina, Amalfi, but if you get off the beaten track to rarely visited traditional areas, expect traditional mores.
 
Old Feb 11th, 2001, 05:41 AM
  #10  
Mike
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Note how people who state that there will be no problem refer only to the highly touristed areas. Some people in Italy may be offended but out of courtesy to you, they will treat you with respect. Do you really want to hurt their sensibilities in such a way?

 
Old Feb 11th, 2001, 07:32 AM
  #11  
xx
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How will anyone know whether you are married or not? My husband and I have never been asked that question. He didn't want to change his name when we married, and I did not want to change mine, but no one has ever asked us if we are married or not. Whoever makes the reservation uses his or her name.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 12:15 AM
  #12  
Mike
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So, according to XX (the previous poster), we have to resort to deception to carry this off. Tsk tsk.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 05:27 AM
  #13  
kate
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Let's all hope that Mike is joking.

Don't worry Julia, in my experience most of Europe is more liberal than rural america. Nobody will care. Remeber, it's none of their business anyway.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 06:11 AM
  #14  
mf
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Traveled 'in sin' years ago. It never even came up. At one hotel (in perugia) they did ask what type of room (type as mentioned in earlier reply). At a restaurant in POsitano they thought we were father/daughter (only 8 yr age diff. between us). Other then that noone cares.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 06:14 AM
  #15  
Lisette
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I went all over Italy for two weeks on a tour with my boyfriend and his son. We had separate rooms the whole time. Everyone thought we were married and couldn't figure out why we had two rooms. Every time we got a a new room they would stare or whisper. We drew more attention to ourselves by having separate rooms than if we would have slept in the same room. Just thought you might want to hear what happens when you do get separate rooms.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 06:26 AM
  #16  
cmt aka C aka xxx
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Mike, I never meant to imply that she should WORRY about offending sensibilities, just that she may, and I only mention it because she seems to be asking. I think she should go, have fun, behave nicely, and not worry if the mere fact that she's traveling with her boyfriend offends her.

I have an elderly (non-Italian) friend who goes to Sicily every few years to visit an old male friend who used to live in the USA and now lives in his little birthplace town in southwestern Sicily. He lives alone. There's no romance between them. But she's aware that they're the subject of rumors when she visits because a woman merely visiting the house of a man alone is a no-no. Well respected friends in town make a point of being seen with her during evening passeggiata to give her their stamp of approval, for whatever it's worth to the less sophisticated townspeople. I grew up hearing about the same social/moral code from my family (Italian ancestry)in USA.

Southern Italy and especially Sicily have certain ancient mores that are almost middle-eastern because of the Arab influence. These mores are not completely gone. If we travel to infrequently visited areas we may experience them. It shouldn't stop anyone from traveling to remote areas and enjoying them. This is merely information, because the question was asked.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 06:35 AM
  #17  
C
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I meant "offends others", not "offends her". Anyway, she shouldn't worry.

P.S. While I think the whole subject of ancient social mores in the south italian boondocks is fascinating myself, Julia never even hinted that she's be traveling off the beaten track. Did she? And I agree that in the more traveled areas north and south, and probably everywhere in the north and central area, no one will care.

P.S. I took a walking tour with a USA-based walking tour company. They generally have two guides. Their policy is to have the guides room together, even when male and female. The guides were not even firends. As far as I could see, the hotel people didn't care. We and they were treated very well.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 06:39 AM
  #18  
Paige
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Unless you're going to tiny towns or planning on staying in convents, it shouldn't matter. If you're going to the main tourist towns, I doubt anyone will even give it a thought. Been there, done that, and never had a problem. If anyone asks and it makes you uncomfortable, just lie. Who cares? You'll probably never see any of the same people again.
 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 06:39 AM
  #19  
SharonM
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Yea, Mike.
I'll be sure to let those "offended person's" "sensibilities" pay for that extra room as well...NOT!

 
Old Feb 12th, 2001, 12:19 PM
  #20  
lina
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My partner and I have traveled all over Italy during the last 10 years with no problems, but a funny thing did occur last year in a small hotel in Palermo where we were checking in at midnight after a long trip from the west coast of the u.s. The desk clerk (for some reason?) asked if we were married. Fearing we would be turned out on the street, I said "yes". At the same time my partner said "no". Somewhat embarrassing but we laugh now. And no, we were not turned out.
 

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