I'm going to be traveling with my brother to London for the first time next month, and I'm starting to wonder if this is going to be a diasaster. I was going to go alone, but by chance asked if he would want to come too. To my surprise and initial gladness, he said yes. Well, I booked the tickets, picked a hotel, and am now wondering how this will work out. <BR><BR> We are major opposites. But we do get along very well. I'm 23 and he's 26. I want to visit the museums, head over to Portebello Road, do some shopping, see Hamlet and Les Miserables, go to Bath and also Windsor. I've read just about every guide book on London and have what I want to see planned out. He hasn't read anything about it and says he wants to go to pubs and go clubbing. He is definitely a night owl and I'm a morning person. When I mentioned us doing separate stuff, he sounded kind of offended. Luckily, he is pretty easy going so he might go along with what I want to do, but I'm not sure. This will be both of our first times to London. I've been to Europe twice before, and this will be his first time there How will this work? <BR><BR> Have any of you traveled with a sibling, how did it work out??? Tips/suggestions greatly appreciated. <BR><BR> <BR><BR>Vanessa

I can't even do a day in San Francisco with my brother! You need to have a heart to heart and explain that you're not going to London for pubs and clubbing and that there's so much more than that. Perhaps he just doesn't realize. Think you need to be prepared to go off on your own sometimes.

I think you are the only one to make this choice. <BR> <BR> I have been on many trips with my brother and some with my sister. We always have a great time! In fact, my brother and I both work for our family business and have often shared a hotel room while at trade shows. The other people with our company can't believe we get along so well. I like the saying "be nice to your siblings, they are your best link to your past and the most likely to stick with you in the future" <BR> <BR>In our case we each have only one child and they are close as cousins.

I've been traveling with my sister for the last ten years, and we are opposite in some ways, but on the big things, we think exactly alike (how we react to adversity - we laugh; bad service - we laugh; lousy weather - we laugh; Parisian strikes - we laugh...you get the picture). We treat each other and everyone else with respect, so we never have to cringe at the other one's behavior. <BR> <BR>We plan our trips to accommodate each other's likes - and have learned to like what we once found boring (she's turned me on to archaeology, and I've taught her to like museums). <BR> <BR>Talk talk TALK before you go; you each are spending a lot of money to go to London, so you each should have a good time. If you're up all night at clubs and can't get in the sightseeing you want, you'll be miserable. If he is forced out of bed at 7:00am to go sightseeing, he'll be mad when he's too tired to go clubbing. It sounds like you need to sit down with him and be VERY clear about expectations. How about you both go clubbing, but you leave when you want? In the morning, go out on your own to see stuff, and return when he's up and ready to go. If you're doing a day trip to Bath, he'll have to skip latenight clubbing the night before. If he wants to see a certain band perform, be sure you're back in time for him to catch the first set. <BR> <BR>And if all else fails, drink.

I have been on holiday with my sister only once since we were both adults (I am discounting family hols here!) and it worked fine but was only a weekend trip to Paris. <BR> <BR>I knew it really well and she didnt so for me I enjoyed showing it to her. <BR> <BR>I was 27 and she was 24... <BR> <BR>I love lazing around, seeing a few sights, sitting in a cafe, she loves shopping and clubbing. <BR> <BR>However we both saw this as a sister sister weekend so we both compromised. <BR> <BR>(We share a birthday so we went for that). <BR> <BR>I took her to shops so busy I would never normally step foot in them, and helped her buy Parisian fashion to her hearts content, she indulged me by stopping for coffee breaks more than she would have without me... <BR> <BR>We did have a good time, but I dont know if it would have worked for a week. <BR> <BR>I would suggest spending alternate days together and apart, although this is still difficult for you guys, due to the early bird/ night owl thing. <BR> <BR>Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy it. <BR> <BR>Love <BR>Kavey

My sister and I vacationed together for the first and last time 15 years ago. We still love each other and all of course, but we were not cut out to travel together. I'm a planner and she's a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type who resented my planning and felt "constricted." Her madcap method always cost us twice as much in time and money than it would have with some simple planning, (like a phone call or a reservation) so of course that irritated ME. <BR> <BR>I like museums, she likes to meet people and hook up with them later at clubs. I like bookstores, she wants to go to the flea market and haggle with the vendors. You get the picture. We grew so annoyed with each other at one point that we had an argument and both walked away from each other in the middle of a city. We spent the day apart, doing what we each wanted to do, and that little break helped us. My advice is to plan some time apart so you don't wind up arguing in public like we did.

Vanessa-- You do your thing on your own, he does his thing on his own--but you make a firm date each night for dinner and talk about the past day and the day ahead to see if there is anything the other wants to join in on. I love traveling with both freedom and a dinner companion, and it is a common way for pairs to deal with different interests.

You are right to worry. Vacations are a lot easier when everybody wants to do the same thing. But since you and your brother like different things, try to communicate and respect his preferences (privately you might think going to pubs is stupid, but don't hurt his feelings by saying so). <BR> <BR>Since he's willing to do things you want, you should reciprocate and do some things he wants to do (the clubs may actually be fun and you might meet some interesting people). Keep your sense of humor and perspective: Remember that your sibling relationship is far more important in the end than a trip...

every now and then i think about asking one of my sisters to go to europe with me. then i spend an afternoon with them and come to my senses. i envy people who have close families and can depend on each other for companionship and support. unfortunately that is not the case for everyone.

Vanessa <BR>all good advice here. Talk about everything in advance. <BR>Work out the schedule, leave some flexibility in it, make compromises that you are both comfortable with, definitely work in some hours or even days apart, etc. <BR>However, on the morning when the two of you have agreed to go to Bath and he doesn't want to wake up early, smile, give him a kiss or leave him a note, and please go on to Bath on your own. That way you have each done what you wanted to do that day. If he is "offended", he'll just have to get over it--you are both not responsible for how you each feel every minute. If you nag him into getting up and going, you will both have a miserable day. On the other hand, if you don't get to Bath at all because of what you perceive to be his fault, you will resent it for years to come. That's what can do the real damage.

On a trip I once took with my sister, my sister would get up early to do her make up. While she tried to do it quietly, it bothered me. I told her off but it did no good as she couldn't help it. On the overall scheme of things, it was a minor irritant that I didn't let it really get to me. In any case, since I rarely see my siblings, our reunions and trips together (the last time we were all together was 6 years ago but have seen each other separately about once a year) are fairly pleasant. Maybe you can each pick at least one activity to do or one attraction to see together. Or you can go with hime on one and his choices and he with you on one of your own. There's got to be at least one thing both of you like to do. Sometimes it's hard to remember that you do enjoy the same things once you've grown up and/or moved away from each other. Think back on the fun times you had when you were younger. I'm sure you'll find something there. Good luck and have a good vacation.