USNR

International clientele = anyone here from Ecuador?

Liberal rate of exchange = a pound of flesh

Open all hours = like an oyster

Maid service = monthly

No tipping policy = no service policy

Cross ventilation = drafty

Official greeter = Marcel Marceau

Shalott

The hotel is located in a historic residential area:
in the middle of nowhere

Conveniently located near a metro stop:
that requires two transfers to get anywhere central

Antique furnishings: Hasn't been cleaned properly in years

Ensuite bathrooms (with a shower stall so small you have to step out of it in order to pick up the soap)

Televisions in each room: So you can choose between dubbed Kojak reruns or dubbed Dallas reruns.

Intrepid1

authentic - exactly the way they described it in that "Readers Digest" article you read

tacky - reminds you of your own trailer/trailer park

chain hotel - the one with air conditioning that works

rustic - fans instead of air conditioning

helpful - they told you what you you already knew and didn't frown when you left without tipping

rude - like you when you are having a bad hair day

clean - the way your own house looked a long time ago

pricey - more than the sum total of the last four DVDs you ordered

"the 6th" - the area you pretended you stayed in when you write your trip report when you were actually holed up out in the 11th

trip report - another name for, "I TOLD you I was better than you are"

Tuscany - where you stay when you can't afford a room in Rome

yummy - what your food used to taste like at home

family friendly - full of kids screaming louder than yours

economical - where you stay when you finally have to pay for it yourself

economy class - the section that arrives after First touches down

"second class" (rail) - where you sit after the "conductor" threw you out of First when you tried to sneak up there

easily reached - it takes less than 36 hours to get there

Spanish Steps - that thing you keep watching but it never seems to do anything

"Centro Storico" - I can speak more Italian than you do!

Intrepid1

Macaron - reject Krispy Kreme donut

"the Editors" - a little closer than the planet Pluto and not nearly as understandable

ira

>..the Ferrari won't be out of the shop until this afternoon ...<

Ain't it the truth? I often wonder why I bought the both of them. Sometimes, they're both in the shop at the same time.

ira

Off the beaten path - no one goes there, and for good reason.

Unspoiled - no one goes there, and for good reason.

Demi-Pensione - You eat what you're given or go to bed hungry.

cocofromdijon

ttt

Clifton

"experts" - umm, hmmm...

freiamaya

Italy:
"the bus is on its way" = make your own arrangements, as there is no bus, and if there was, it certaintly wouldn't wait for the likes of you
"closed from 01.01.06 to 01.03.06 for renovations" = we have been closed for months and probably will never reopen despite what we officially say
"wait time from this point is 30 minutes" = don't even bother, just go home and try again tomorrow
"this piece of jewellry is very special" = this piece is butt-ugly, has sat in our window for 2 years now, and we can't sell it
"within walking distance" = proceed directly to the bus stop
"located on a lively square" = lots of night-time activity, including bottle smashing and police raids
"view of the Arno" = if you go to the front lobby, behind the front desk, lean out the window, and crane your neck to the left, you will catch a glimpse of the bridge that goes over said river
Ciao!

Intrepid1

Thanks for reviving this.

I'm becoming increasingly aware that whenever a hotel or an airline decreases or stops services it is always done, "for your convenience" and they are nice enough to "appreciate your cooperation and understanding" (like we have a choice)...they are smart enough not to ask for "agreement."

"Is this a good price" (when asked about air fares...) seems to actually mean:

Please say yes so I can tell the person in the household who will <b>end up paying for it</b> now that I've bought it without their knowledge that is &quot;is a good price and please put that handgun down.&quot;

We've finally been told that the term &quot;DH&quot; is sometimes used as a short form of the word &quot;duh&quot; but are waiting on confirmation from 'the editors.'