We are finally leaving for Rome on Tuesday. Then we'll go back to where we lived for 5 months in France. We haven't been back since our almost 3 year old was born.
I am having full on panic attacks ALL WEEK! I am dreading going, and I have NEVER been like this before.
I don't know if it is the 11 hour nonstop first leg of the flight, or what?
anyone else with small children felt like this?

When we had small children we could hardly afford to drive to the next town. If you ask your average Sudanese, your problem may assume its proper rank in the great scheme of things. You are a member of a privileged, wealthy, spoilt minority that can afford to travel: I urge you to count your blessings and stop whining.

Thank you for taking the time to be so rude. I didn't know people with genuine anxiety disorders were just 'whining'.

If posts like this bother you, maybe you should find another forum that would better suit your interests.

You might like to know (or not) that we have SAVED for over 3 years to actually afford this vacation and are able to do so ONLY because we won't be staying in hotels: we are staying FREE with friends.

Wow, I really didn't think I needed to justify my trip, but you got me on a bad day.

Have a good one!

I need to rephrase, "I have never been like this before a much anticipated trip."

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have a great time! I love to travel and plan travel so much, but always get a twinge of panic for about a week before. Have I packed everything, what have I forgotton to do, will the hotel be OK, will I like the place, etc, etc. Usually once I get on the plane, I switch into holiday mode and all the worries are forgotton. My partner just sits back and lets me do all the planning - and the worrying I'm sure with young children in tow there is a lot to plan for. Just think, soon you'll be there having the time of your life!

Funny that you should mention this anxiety thing. That is how I felt for the first time before my trip to Spain in February.
Never before did I feel so jittery.Could be because I was going by myself.Leaving Spain was the same thing.Couldn't sleep the night before.Worried that the taxi wouldn't pick me up in time ,that I would miss my flight.So, when I finally got home I swore that it was my last trip...but, you guess it, 2 days later I was already planning for next year.
So just go with the flow. One thing at a time.Don't fill your head with "what if..." and have a good time.
I will try to follow my own advice next time.
Bon voyage et bonne chance!

if you are:

<<<<<"having full on panic attacks ALL WEEK!">>>>>

that are part of a "genuine anxiety disorder" then you should see a doctor as this can be very serious, especially considering that you have small children in your care.

Hi t,

Make a list of all the things that you should do before leaving.

Post your list to see if you have left anythng out.

It will keep you busy.

I have always LIVED to travel- and when my kids were small I felt exactly like you. I remember several times actually being in tears on the way to the airport- not because I was worried about missing my kids- it was more of an intense free-floating anxiety. The minute the plane was in the air, it went away. Every time.
Hang in there- make lots of lists when you feel out of control, and know that it will pass, and you will have a blast.
I'm sorry that sometimes there are such hostile responses to innocent questions. It happens on every board, I don't know why.

I'm sorry to see the insensitive response by a few here. If you're having anxiety attacks as you say you are,it's nothing to trivialize.I suggest you talk to your doctor before you go.

>Wow, I really didn't think I needed to justify my trip, but you got me on a bad day.

You most certainly do not have to justify your well earned holiday to Neil or anyone else. I think your question is perfectly justified.

Your anxiety may be related to the expense and how long you've been anticipating the trip. You want everything to be perfect. Try to relax and concentrate more on relaxing during your well earned break rather than trying to cram as much value as possible into your trip. You may then be able to breathe a little easier.

I'd consider myself now to be a well seasoned traveller, as a 28 year old unnattached Australian living in Europe. I've been back to oz on holiday twice and have made many shorter intra-continental flights. However, I still suffer from the type of anxiety you describe. I cannot sleep the night before a flight. My biggest fear is that i'll miss the flight. I constantly have nightmares where I show up late to the airport and they won't allow me to get on the plane. As a result of this, I try to schedule afternoon or evening flights. That I can sleep the night before!

just to clarify, my response was not meant to be hostile or insensitive. it seems the last two posters read multiple hostile responses so i'm assuming i was lumped in with those (especially strange since messagediva says exactly what i said!).

perhaps this is a cultural thing but if she is communicating her condition accurately then she really needs to speak to someone fast. but if "full on panic attack" is just a local expression for being nervous then that's another thing. I know that it is the vernacular of some cultures to be hyperbolic and to over-dramatise everything so we can't be sure what the true meaning is.

I think travel these days is more stressful than it has ever been, it used to be fun, breeze through the airport, enjoy the flight, enjoy the new sights, sounds, the food, experience and so on. Once at your destination things are fine as long as you don't have a mindset that everything 'has to be 100% perfect', that doesn't mean that things won't be perfect. It is often said that whether you enjoy your vacation or not does not really depend on others but yourself. If you have things to do, do as someone said and make a list, cross them off and you can visually see that you are all prepared. Get to the airport early, relax, don't worry yourself if there is any delay, just take things easy.

I don't know anything about panic attacks, but I've had the experience of feeling differently about some trips just before departing than I did when I booked them. It's a passing thing and I'm never sorry I went. In fact, it disappears by the time I board.

But with respect to this post and some of the reaction noted by massagediva, I have to agree 100 percent. MANY of us here have had the unpleasant experience of not even being able to talk to some people about travel experiences because of the "Oh, it must be nice..." reactions we receive. We've done the "different priorities in life, etc." discussion to death here, but the point I'm trying to make is that this board -- OF ALL PLACES -- absolutely MUST remain a supportive environment. It HAS to be a place where people can ask questions and share information about without having to deal with that kind of response. Really, if someone toulousaine can't come here and share a legitimate, travel-related concern without getting what is an all-too-common response from people we sometimes run across in other circles of our lives, then I think we would really be failing each other as a community.

If someone has some sort of "vendetta" against anyone who can afford to travel, I wonder why on earth they would come here. Neil_Oz, this sounds so unlike you. Having a bad day in Oz?

Toulousaine. I'm not a psychologist, but I suggest you sit down and think a few minutes about what you are really afraid of. The logical thing is that it has to do with the child or children. Is there some fear that something will happen to them? Is there something at home that worries you? I must admit I have often felt this way as I was about to leave on long trips -- and finally decided it had to do with family members remaining at home who were not well. I finally decided I had an unrealized fear that something would happen to them while I was away, and I'd never see them again. I'm not sure how I got over it, or maybe I haven't. I've just learned to live with that anxiety.

There are about a million products out there for anxiety. I suggest you talk with your doctor immediately about getting one of them, if your anxiety is as great as it sounds.

Flyboy,
i agree 100%. with all due respect to some of the posters, "making lists" is not a proper solution for a mother of young children who has been experiencing "full on panic attacks" that have persisted for over a week.

my support was geared toward getting the help that is needed. this is not a travel issue. worry about the travel after you get the panic attacks sorted out. this is nothing to fool around with.

toulousaine,

If you feel like sinking to his level and having a little dig at Neil_Oz, just head over to the Australian forum and say something nasty about Canberra =)

You've got the pre-departure jitters. Lots of people, those with or without small children, report having some form of anxiety just before they leave. Chances are it will dissipate as soon as you board the plane or at the latest, arrive at your destination.

Now, consider that whatever happens, you'll handle it. You don't even have to stop feeling worried, you just have to go ahead and do whatever it is you have to do. You've successfully raised a child to the age of 3, so you've already proven you've got lots of skills. You can, and will, manage this!

Neil, is that really what you meant to say? It sounds most unlike you. While it's true our problems are small relative to those of many in the world, don't forget that fear has little to do with rational thinking. You can't fix fear with guilt or shame, since being afraid/anxious is often a source of shame in the first place.

This is a difficult situation to be in. In addition to your own fears, your 8 year old is also expressing fear of flying (I read one of your other threads). If you are experiencing physical symptons of anxiety or panic, you should see a doctor.

Although you may feel "better" once you arrive at your destination, the trip itself may cause you discomfort. You need to feel okay and confident so that your children will be secure on the flight.

How you are feeling is real and nothing to be embarrased about. I wish you all the best for a wonderful trip.

Funny someone should mention dreams of missing planes, mine is that the taxi arrives to take me to the airport and I haven't packed. I'm one of life's born worriers, which is why I find it difficult to book last minute deals. I like to have things planned, checked and double checked and lists do help me. It's natural for a mother to worry about travelling with small children - mine are grown up now and I still worry. If Toulousaine is just seeking reassurance that others worry about such exciting events as holidays, then I think she is quite normal.