Ok, I am back from Italy, but something has been nagging me. I was very confused with whether we should have tipped or not. I figured service charge was built into the prices and they always charged a cuperto charge too. I think there were nights we left exact change and some nights we left some Euros. Also, I took two tours and I noticed no one offered to tip the tour guide, so we didn't also. Were we expected to? We gave a nice tip to the housekeeper. Were we suppose to tip the people who worked in the breakfast room? There were always different ones. Also, last question, do people tip the men and women who work the front desk at the hotel. There could any many as four or five for the day and night. I know it is after the fact, but for future reference. Lisa

Lisa, although it is hard to adjust to all my friends in Italy told me ages ago that one should not tip in Italy as we do in the US. I generally just round up and leave that as a little "something", but to this day don't feel comfortable doing that. But I know that the waiters in Italy are paid so much better than here. So what you did was fine. That is exactly what my friends in Italy do (I have always made a point of discreetly noticing).

I have never ever tipped any desk person in a hotel. I do give a tip to housekeeping in an envelope. My friends say that is alright to do. As far as the Breakfast room employees I don't know as I prefer to go to a cafe for coffee but I don't "think" a tip is required or expected especially since you didn't have the same person constantly.

I haven't taken a day tour for so long I do not know what the custom is and can't remember what my husband did. If no one else tipped the guide I imagine you handled that properly. Doubt if any of my Italian friends would know as they don't take daytours of course. Good question though. It sounds to me like you handled the tipping situation just fine.

Usually you tip a tour guide, but you tip desk people who have gone out of the way to book restaurants for you..
All these tips are to show an appreciation. Never over tip. The locals don't.

Hi O,

You did right.

In general, in Europe pay scales are higher than in the US and people don't rely on tips as they have to do in the US.

A tip is a little extra to show that you are pleased with service beyond the usual call of duty.

If you are displeased, leave a penny.

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If you are displeased, leave a penny
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i suppose in america, people leave a tiny tip to let the waiter know that you did not forget to tip but that the service was bad.

this concept is totally foreign in europe and a tiny tip does not give this message. do this at home if you must but don't bother to do it in europe as it is a meaningless gesture.

Tipping should be personal IMO and since the level of service doesn't necessarily correspond to the local pay scale and living wage I, personally, see no reason to tie your tip amount to anything OTHER than the level of service received.

Consoling oneself with the notion that these people "don't work for tips" is one way to deal with it I suppose.

Another possible measure; If YOU did for you what THEY just did for you, would you expect a tip?

A few years ago, at a restaurant in Verona, we were virtually sharing a table with an Italian couple (the tables were only about an inch apart). We chatted a bit with them (they told us how much they loved America, we told them how much we loved Italy).

At the end of the meal, after we paid the bill, my husband started to put down a tip - I think 10% -- standard English tip. The Italian wife said, "No, no. Too much." She then took a much much smaller amount from the bills in my husband's hand, and put it on the table. "That's the right amount," she said, and watched to make sure he put the rest back in his wallet.

Tipping is neither expected nor required in Italy but a "little extra" is always appreciated when given. If the service has been very good, an extra Euro or two for good restaurant service, and rounding off the fare to the nearest Euro for cab drivers.

I always leave something for the housekeepers and breakfast staff. If they are different over the course of your stay you can leave the tip with the management and specify who it's for. Front desk staff don't expect tips, but if someone has been especially helpful, you might want to give something. I don't generally take tours but if a guide does a good job I think a tip is in order.

Ira is joking when he says to "leave a penny" for bad service. Please do not get the idea that this is something that Americans consider routine behavior. If service is truly abysmal you ought to make a complaint, not a silly gesture that only makes you, the leaver of the penny, look like a fool.

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I, personally, see no reason to tie your tip amount to anything OTHER than the level of service received.
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tipping should be based first on local convention, adjusted for the level of service received. it's not helpful to say that tipping should just be based on service because there are different expectations everywhere. for example, when in america i know i have to tip more and for things that i would not tip for in europe. just a fact of life.

i'm not one of those people who say that tipping too much is an insult. most europeans in the service industry have seen a few americans in their time and know that they tip more or in situations that are not according to the local norms.

mjsilver..."adjusting" a relative stranger's tip amount (whether up or down) is just plain rude. the nerve of these people...unless you were asking for advice, what you tip is none of their business. imagine if you told them in England or the US that they should tip more than what they were trying to leave on the table! rude.

When a local Italian dines in a restaurant, he knows what he is doing. When I dine in one, I sometimes become "high maintenance". I often take a lot of extra time from the server attempting to converse in bad Italian, asking lots of questions about the food or wine, and generally receive really nice service from them. I WILL NOT feel guilty about leaving a nice tip to that waiter who has gone out of his way to treat me well and to take a lot more time dealing with me than with his usual local patrons.

Overtip? What does that mean? Is that like saying it's OK to say "thank you", but never, ever say "I REALLY thank you"? How can someone be TOO kind or TOO appreciative?

<<Overtip? What does that mean? Is that like saying it's OK to say "thank you", but never, ever say "I REALLY thank you"? How can someone be TOO kind or TOO appreciative?>>

Overgiving is quite a common and embarrassing problem. Everyone can recall Christmas or birthday presents that are over the top. You must accept the Eupopean attitude of waiting on tables as a profession rather than a menial job. Then think of how your accountant, doctor, local shopkeeper, teacher would react to a monetary tip. It is delicate because giving a person money CAN emphasize a power difference as in, "Here is some money - I can afford it - you can't."
I would be interested in a European reaction to this.

Thank you for that laugh. Yes, of course giving a waiter in an Italian Cafe a couple euro is just like offering my doctor a tip. Now I get it.

I have talked to numerous French and Italians who have finally admitted that the real reason they don't like seeing Americans give larger tips is because the waiters might grow to expect it, and because it makes them look less appreciative.

Yes, Neo, I think you are coming closer to a better understanding. However I don't believe you are correct in believing <<the real reason they don't like seeing Americans give larger tips is because the waiters might grow to expect it>>.
Michael Lynn, a professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University, believes that overtipping can be a sign of a large ego or a thinly veiled attempt by an insecure person to buy approval. Hmmm....
<<Overtip? What does that mean? Is that like saying it's OK to say "thank you", but never, ever say "I REALLY thank you"? How can someone be TOO kind or TOO appreciative?>>

I've been sensitive about tipping because my brother spent years in the western hospitality system - and tips were really his salary. But I got "caught" over-tipping in Alassio after a meal where we misunderstood the menu and were comp'd the mistaken dish. The owner finally yielded when I asked her to give the extra to the chef, but then made us drink grappa with the staff for an hour after she closed!

Can't we settle this with some kind of compromise?

Every Italian waiter knows who is an American tourist and who isn't. And he's known enough American tourists to know that, by and large, they tend to tip more generously.

He doesn't expect his local regulars to tip very much; most of them are probably in the restaurant at least once a week.

There is lots of room between the left over small change that a local might leave and the 10% to 15% that an American tourist might leave. One or two Euro is not going to bankrupt an American tourist, nor is it going to change how the Italian economy works.

And incidentally, an Italian friend, Roman born and bred, always tipped. And he always got the friendliest service, the best recommendations on what was particularly good that evening as well as small extra plates of this and that: "I thought you might like to try a little bit of this" - without charge, of course.

As a neophyte traveler, I have to agree with both Eloise and, to an extent, Neopolitan's first posting. I definitely felt "high-maintenance" due to lack of knowledge, but I also felt very well cared-for and wished to say thank you with a tip. I never intended to be insulting and I never felt that the recipient viewed it that way - in fact just the opposite!

IMHO tipping is a personal thing and you should handle it as you feel comfortable.

My quote about why Italians and French look down on tipping was not meant to be an interpretation or MY opinion. It was a quote --what some French and some Italians have actually told me. I don't suggest that any study would necessarily put them in the majority, but it is a FACT that the quote was THEIR opinion.

And yes, Eloise, I agree that it is silly for "foreigners" to think that if Americans tip their waiters that those waiters will grow to expect it from them as well. On the other hand, it is not a stretch to believe that today most waiters DO expect a little more tip from Americans.

My honest opinion? I suspect some foreigners don't like to see us leave large tips for the same reason my cheapskate friends who don't tip over 10% here even in really fine restaurants, don't like to see me leave 20%. It makes THEM feel bad. It is a stretch for them to say their concern is for the feelings of the waiter!

Keep in mind that the price at an Italian restaurant includes a 15% service charge.

If you go to a restaurant in the US, say on a group booking, and they've pre-added a 15% service charge for your group, as is often done, do you then feel obligated to tip another 20% on top of that, or do you consider that 15% service charge when making your tipping decision?

WillTravel, I don't think anyone is talking about leaving a 20% tip in addition to the 15% service charge.

But if I have a long, lovely lunch with wine for 35 Euro, the included service charge is 5.25 Euro. If I add 2 Euro to that, the total service charge and tip is a wee bit over 20%. I don't see that as grossly overtipping, particularly if the service has been friendly and patient, the meal has been good, and - let's not forget - I've occupied that table for 2 hours or so, making mine the only service charge and tip the waiter will receive for that table at lunch that day.

If I run into a pizzeria, have a taglio of pizza and a mineral water and run out, I'm obviously not going to leave more than the left over change.

One should differentiate a little between apples and oranges...